An Open Letter To Princess Wei

From: HellPope Huey X <radiopopeNOraSPAM@hotmail.com.invalid>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jul 4, 2000 4:37 PM
Message-ID: <080a4a9c.72b83e2e@usw-ex0104-026.remarq.com>

You need to give that sinister, skinny, scaggy Stang the
heave-ho and take up with a REAL man, with an actual ASS. There's
no promise of power in that ridiculous butt! I volunteer to do
right by you, 'cause you're not only worth it in all the right
areas, but are far more attractive than Legume's boil-bedecked
ass. (Good thing there was bleach in the hot tub.) I've enlarged
& laminated that great picture of you readin' QUIJIBO and I lick
it every day before I leave the house. My love is that strong.

Remember, Stang has been publically disgraced on many occasions
for his heinous behavior, runs a thinly-veiled CULT, hangs out
with life's castoffs and tells dirty stories with Tourette's-like
aplomb. He'll swear he's clean with a straight face and then run
down to the basement and lick several of those toads he's been
hiding from you. That sparkle in his eye is all toxins, trust me.

He rarely bathes, has no shame and will drag you down in flames
with him if you don't come to your senses SOON! The Feds have
been gathering material against him for years and they're close
to striking. Tax evasion, puppy-defiling, white slavery,
underaged everything, 4 kinds of sodomy, toad-licking, the list
is as long as yer luscious gams, that's how it is with these
so-called "cult" leaders. He's under enormous stress, you know:
that friendly demeanor could crumble at any time and leave you
dangling in mid-air over the very PIT if you don't act on your
own behalf!

I, on the other hand, have magnificent nipples, a mind like a
steel trap, no ether habit, a budding musical career, an
immaculate 57' Chevy not up on blocks, no psychotic ex-wives,
only 4 illegitimate children in Thailand, put the toilet seat
back down after I pee (and I HIT the bowl, unlike that filthy
Stang, who pisses wherever he pleases), a talented 4-foot-long,
tie-a-knot-in-a-cherry-stem tongue that even the toads of
Bebenzele envy and $138 mil in the bank that no one knew about
before I expressed my undying devotion right here. You can have
1/3rd of it up front, with options for more of it later, no
pre-nup, either! But y'gotta lemme see ya nekkid first.

No, you come down to Arkinsaw and be with me and I'll make you
feel REEEAL GOOOOD. I LIIIIKE you! Merle n' them's gonna like you
REEEAAAL good, snort, snicker, snort. Call me, I'm in the Books.

Adoringly and with the kind of unhealthy slavish regard that
leads to dish-doing and toilet-cleaning by FORMER "men,"
Yer Pal,
HellPope Huey

"Those damned monkeys won't stop FUCKING!" - Jesus

My eyesight's failin' and my knees are a wreck and my brain is a
swamp just full of that dreck but I paid m'$30 and m'mind's
depraved and thanks to Bobby Dobbs my stupid ass is SAVED and oom
poppa oom poppa oom poppa mow mow hip shot rim job kitty kitty
cow cow bleep eep e

-----------------------------------------------------------

Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com.
Up to 100 minutes free!
http://www.keen.com

Back to document index

Original file name: An Open Letter To Princess

This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.