firstname.lastname@example.org (Elayne Wechsler-Chaput) wrote:
JJohn Laviolette (email@example.com) wrote:
NNNot only are we spammed, we are spammed by A$$HOLES ON-LINE! (well, really, for all I know, he could be a wild SubG, but still...)
>I know you don't know me from jack shit, Jon (how is ol' Jack anyway? haven't heard from him in ages), but take my word for it - no, take Ivan Stang's word for it, he'll vouch for me, we go back a long way - Frank is most definitely for real. He's trying to drag AOL kicking and screaming into the realm of doing actual INTERESTING things for an online commercial service (I'm attempting to do the same with Prodigy through my various plants there), and I think any SubG or just plain ol' lover of slack-filled comedy (like The Firesign Theatre, a DIRECT INFLUENCE on the startup of the SubG, read those early Bulldada Time Control pamphlets again!) who happens to be stuck with AOL should offer him at least a kind word of support.
Oh, I'll vouch for Elayne. But I would double-PDog-dare those CENSORIOUS FUCKS at AOL to even so much as allow MENTION of the mere fact of the INEVITABLE TOTAL CENSORSHIP of quotes from and/or discussions of the REALLY funny shit that's out there to be heard, such as the shunned and suppressed BLACK PARTY RECORD comedians of whom Rudy Ray Moore (aka DOLEMITE) is representative, MUCH LESS the really hard-core PRANK CALL TAPING CIRCUIT, and I don't mean no Tube Bar or Jerky rehash, I'm talking the ULTIMATE IN PHONE TORTURE/HILARITY, MUCH LESS the more perverted truckstop bootleg 8-track "raw comedy" "WILDMAN STEVE VS. GENE "TRUCKSTOP" TRACY sort of tapes, NOR the LOCAL quasi-underground radio madness shows that CAN BE FOUND IF YOU SCAN HARD ENOUGH in most big cities, NOR the hideous clandestine recordings of big name hot-shot stars caught DRUNK AS HELL or EMBARRASSINGLY SENILE, nor the celebrity scandal videotapes such as Chuck Berry's pee-pee-and-poo-poo-with-his-grilfriend home videos seized by the courts, nor the Church of New Faith, Swingin' Love Corpses, Janor Hypercleats, YOU NAME IT!!! Because to even describe such as these which are ACTUALLY THE FUNNIEST SHIT AROUND, one would have to use language such as "ASS," "DAMN," "HELL," and "(insert ethnic slur here)", you know, like people do in real life and even on the radio, AND THEY JUST DON'T ALLOW THAT KIND OF THING ON AMERICA ONLINE.
AOL is like unto BLOCKBUSTERS in its utter and inescapable Pinkness. Everything touched by AOL is TAINTED FOREVER. I know I'll never live it down, never be able to cleanse myself of the brief use of their TOTALITARIAN, SMILEY-FACE NAZI SWEETNESS AND LIGHT SATANIC SMARMINESS.
That's how boned I feel when I so much as THINK about that cesspool. EUUGH!!! I still feel... UNCLEAN.
The continued existence of ANY of those commercial services is a BLIGHT upon America, the diametric opposite of everything the Founding Fathers believed in (aside from slavery).
Rev. Ivan "BILL HICKS DIED FOR YOUR SINS" Stang
* * * * *
Subject: Re: Humor on America Online
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Rev. Ivan Stang)
JESUS CHRIST!! Here's somebody telling us how CUTE are Blockbusters and America Online!
Biggles <email@example.com> wrote:
>So who cares how pink Blockbuster or AOL or whatever is? I managed to buy my copy of "Arise" through Blockbuster! We can USE these things to our own ends! We can infiltrate and destroy from within like a disease!
Look, you didn't get REAMED UP THE BUTT by Blockbuster. You're looking at it from the consumer point of view. I'm looking at it from the butt-split videographer POV. And I'm DAMNED SURPRISED you found ARISE at Blockbuster, must've been a leftover from when it was still Sound Warehouse, because the last I heard, Blockbuster had consciously banned ARISE from their stores, along with THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST and anything else that might make assholes question their GODS.
>And in my opinion, there's no better place to find really stupid, dippy, happy little shits than in bastions of the Pink. They are so much fun to play with! Just a few lines here and there about hatred of humans and they are so upset. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Well, if that's your idea of fun... paying $3 an hour to poke the animals with a stick... have at it!
>Besides, Stang probably got kicked off AOL, or some deal with AOL never materialized for him, so now he's all bitter and pissed off. Wah!
Oh, I'm pissed off alright, and your pat response to all this makes me think you might be one of those stupid, dippy, happy little shits you like to poke so much. Maybe you missed the post about how AOL has deliberately dropped alt.slack from its available newsgroups. Yeah, I'd say that's a fairly reasonable thing to be pissed off about.
You and AOL seem to have some things in common -- you don't like to see AOL badmouthed, but it doesn't bother you if they try to make their customers think that the Church of the SubGenius doesn't exist anymore.
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