By Ray Gorsuch <fy430@cleveland.Freenet.Edu>
Date: 28 Nov 1994

Fellow slacksizers, we have a growing problem in society today. Yes,
dear friends, decurrensization is looming its ugly head-job over our non pink
skies. Look around you, everywhere there are humans trying to buy up
all of your cash. Not only that, but in payment they are giving you
petty extravagant gifts and unbelievably hard work in service. Are you
gonna let some pink boy buy up all of your money? Well , are ya?! I
didn't thinks so. Wouldn't you rather sell your money to a fast
talkin', gimmick conceiving, con artist Yeti for no more than the lint in
your very own pockets? "BOB" can do that for you! A lot of "Phalse
profits" out there are buying up the last few "sense" in the bottom of
your piggy bank with their hard work, and I don't like it. The true
hard work is in trying to do the least amount of work possible. So when
some one buys your hard earned dollars for his not working, you are in
turn purchasing his not having to work. This brilliant Gift of the
"BOB's" in SubGenius terms is defined as SLACK! Yes, you too can buy
SLACK in its purest form by just getting screwed over by some one of
much higher intelligence. Not only that, but if you get screwed over by
"BOB" himself you increase your SLACK ten-fold! You might be asking
yourself right now, "Self, how can you tell if you are are being screwed
over by "BOB" or some other non-human?" Well , in the words of J.R.
Dobbs himself, "If you have to question who you were screwed over
by,and thereby put work info finding out who, then you didn't get enough
SLACK and therefore weren't like he had to put some thought into in?
Well he didn't- or he did, he was really drunk that night and wasn't
reasoning quite clearly, so we will never know. But even if, the
statement is still quite profound I myself haven't even brought myself
to thinking about the reasoning behind it. I just thanked "BOB" and
gave him the twenty dollars for the rental of his air.

Ray -Dr. Decapitator
"Pink head launchings are on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
"Ozzy shouldn't have done this!"
rgorsuch@fairview.lerc.nasa.gov -Dr. Decapitator

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