Connie, Tito, and Me by Felix Furlow


Well now... let's see... there I was, in the middle of the Nevada desert with Connie, the pale moonlight shinin' offa the tattoo of a crucified goat on her shoulder. It was a dark and cloudless night, and Connie was hot and horny. But then, when hadn't she been? I dunno... I just wasn't... a-roused.

So Connie says, "Well honey, we jus' gon' havta get you a-roused!"

So we hopped in the cadi and hit the road for Mexico! YEEEEHAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!!!

Connie... I tell ya, she is one wild broad. Every big truck we blew past, Connie'd be flashin' her tits at 'em. It was easy for her with the top down. I mean on the car. Did I mention it was a convertible? Anyhow... we must have set off more air horns 'tween here an' Yuma... hee heeee. Whew... Oh yeah... where was I? Connie... she was makin' me laugh, but I dunno... I just wasn't... a-roused.

She never let up though. She even went so far as to strip off her clothes and ride naked for the last hundred miles or so to the border. It was dark by that time, so it was harder for the truckers to see her when we zoomed by. But we still got a few horn blasts... 'specially when Connie'd turn around and squeeze her hooters together for the lucky long-hauler. After we finished off that bottle of tequilla I'd bought at a mom and pop roadside liquor & gas stop a few miles back, she began to flop flop flop and blah blah blah, yackety schmackety. But I dunno... I just wasn't a-roused.

Anyway, so we go to my buddy Tito's house just south of Lagunitas. Tito was already wigged out on some cactus buds, so he was in the mood for "consciousness expansion". He said he knew where we should go for a good time, and I agreed to let him sit in the backseat with Connie and give me directions. Tito was a bit surprised to find Connie sprawled out naked and giggling in the backseat, but he weren't _too_ nervous 'bout climbin' back thar with her. So Connie starts huggin' on Tito, nuzzlin' her knockers up against him and sliding the tip of her tongue up over his neck and to his ear... and Tito just looks at me as if ta say "you insanely cruel white man." I turned around laughing and punched that big V8, makin' it scream down Tito's "driveway". More like a well used trail. Anyway, Connie threw an arm over the front seat and leaned in to tell me she was gonna "...fuck Thitho whether I liked ith or noth!" We hit a bump in the trail and boom, she was thrown back into the freaked-out arms of "Thitho". Pretty soon, I could hear her squealin' and laughin' everytime we'd hit a bumpy spot in the road... which was about every three feet. Her laughin' and hollerin' turned into gasps and moans as we got closer to the highway. I could see her back, moving up and down in the rear view. She was sittin' on Tito's lap lettin' the bumps in the road do the work. Between short glances at the road, I watched them in the mirror. Connie had started to really get off and was pumpin' poor Tito silly. But I dunno... I just wasn't...

After we hit smooth pavement again, we headed south. Tito told me to drive 50 miles to a billboard with a senorita in a blue hat on it. So I looked for the billboard, while Tito looked for spiritual enlightenment, and Connie looked for a way to get Tito's cock hard again. She found some way or another, 'cause they were at it again before I spotted the lady in the blue hat. She was holdin' up a bottle of Cola like she was 'bout to take a big swig. Tito yelled "TURN HERE!", and I whipped that big hunk o' metal onto the dirt road just past the billboard, leaving a cloud of dust billowin' up behind us. I could'nt tell ya exactly how far we went down that road, but it couldna been too far... hard ta say... After a while we ended up in front of a run down ol' night club of some sort. There was a big orange and green neon sign that read "El Loco Gato". I knew this must be the place, so I slid to a stop 'fore we went through the joint.

So we were sittin' in the cadi lookin' up at this sputterin' neon sign flashin' El Loco Gato or somethin'. Hell, I dunno. I was lightin' up that Frop Tito had passed me as we left his farm. It weren't no funnier smellin' than the strange odors that was comin' from this night club we was sittin' in front of.

Then... suddenly... outa nowhere... A bright white light shone down from a point high in the sky... a cone of eldritch blue magic spiraled down around a glittering tower of a man... It was... IT WAS.... ELVIS!!!!!!!

For a good ten seconds, I was completely and utterly speachless. Elvis Aaron Presley staring down in all his divine glory from atop the El Loco Gato somewhere deep in the Mexican dessert. He was fat! MAN was he fat! Then... without warning... he fell from the roof! The ground shook with the shockwave!

I think I am in nothing now.... blind... weak... falling... doom.

Kiss this seed under the velvet grass grows water from the child of missionary tragedy the verse communion in the shroud of death waking weave of treasured mind. Etaf yb delppirc ,noisrevrep-inta ,tiaw on si ereht , su stcirtsnoc erusaelp. I am the thief that steals the blood of the lamb to spill upon the eyes of the unseen. See nothing. Hear nothing. Speak nothing.

In Mexico, when a man is sittin' face to face with the Kang of Rock AND Roll... a man KNOWS it. A man knows he likes a woman who's a lot like Marcia Brady. Remember that time ol' Marcia decided to run away and join the circus? And ol' Greg and Bobby tried to convince her to stay by telling her they'd reveal the secret of Alice's meatloaf recipe? Well, ol' Marcia wasn't sure of what to make of ol' Guido, the daring young man on the flying trapese. Remember when she came back pregnant with the son of God and called it Jarlayziellakitunkathak? Man... I 'bout lost it on that one. So Elvis starts tellin' me that Marla Maples was really havin' HIS baby, and that it would rise to devour all of New York City and the entire world with just its appetite for state of the art destructive capabilities. I was absolutely mesmerised by the sheer wisdom of the entity which expressed itself before me. He said the killer drove an ingot into each of his eyes, and then cut off his head. I knew that nothing could stop the power of the Kang! He twitched his upper lip and a flock of angelic women swirled about him, flowing with ethereal grace throughout each and every strand of pure white hair in his massive sideburns. "Son...", he said, "I am tha Kang!"

Black sister frothing blister trouble me trouble me take the water of the dead and wash the righteousness away I call out for the one who didn't die soon enough for his master's judgement day. In god we trust. In dog we trust. Laughter nothing but laughter resonating the fibre of the soul. Wake little succubus... spin a weave under the weight of my lust. Lift me up above your head and nail me to a crucifix. I bleed for your pleasure. I am awakened!

Well, the next thing I know, I'm sittin' in a booth at the back of this night club with two senoritas on either side of me. Both of 'em buck nekid. I was tryin' to focus my eyes on what looked like a stage with a bed on it. There was a woman there with fire in her eyes. She was the wildest lookin' female I'd ever laid eyes on. She was lean, and strong, and moved with the grace of a leopard. I could smell that weird smell again... like gum arabic burned slowly atop brimstone. I watched her slide around the bed flashing her flaming eyes across the room. She leaned back on her knees, and pulled her hands across her shiny skin, up over her breasts and then back down to the curly black bush between her legs. I melted into the arms of the two naked senoritas on either side of me. I drifted in and out of consciousness, but I could tell I was being undressed by these two women. They were giggling and fighting over my pants. Then I can only remember being lead from the table and suddenly finding myself under this inferno of passionate lust impaling herself with MY cock! My whole body was being yanked around like I'd been drawn up in a cyclone. She whipped her sweat soaked hair across my face, back and forth, as she pounded me with exstacy. It was like Heaven without God. She pumped me with relentless rythym until I exploded my mind into her womb.

The End.

Copyright 1993, Felix Furlow, High Octant of The Fifth Temple of SKIPPIKS

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