I've never told anybody this story before, not in this form anyway, but I thought the readers of your fine publication would enjoy reading about it. I buy the Church of the SubGenius whenever I can.
A couple of years ago in a way I cannot now relate, nor hardly remember, I ended up playing cards with "Bob," and not only that, I was winning. This was in Texas somewhere in the summer and they kept the place about sixty degrees with the air conditioning and they kept the curtains pulled so the whole place was an ice cave with it a hundred fifty degrees out and here's "Bob" in the cold dark wearing a luau shirt and sunglasses losing cards to me whom he had to teach the damn game two hours earlier. I was cleaning him out and I don't know why. I got his watch and sunglasses but had to refuse further offers of apparel. He kept begging me for a chance to "win something back," and I knew he never would so when he finally offered me a night in the sack with his wife Connie I couldn't turn him down. She didn't turn an eyelash when he told her she was going to have to ball Nenslo. She just said "Come on then" and led me upstairs.
There's no point in adding another description of a stark naked Connie Dobbs to the files of your fine publication since she has no secrets from hardly any of us except for you, Rev. Stang, and Snavely, about that "buttraping baboons" idea. Quick as a wink she was in the buff and Mr. Johnson was up and about with all flags flying. I figured I'd better take full advantage of the situation so there I stood in all my glory and said, "Before I fuck you you're going to have to blow me." She didn't say a word, just sat on the side of the bed and took hold of me by the tail, parting her full red lips and showing just a little flash of sharp white tooth before going "Whhhh..." just blowing a little air onto me. So I waited. She sat there with my dick in her hand and the most innocent expression on her face that she looked like a fucking madonna. I say okay that was cute, now blow me, and she does it again. Just blows this little breath of air onto my pecker which rather than being stimulating is actually making the darn thing shrink a little.
I didn't know what the hell was going on. I went to the door and just hollered for "Bob." He comes running up the stairs neat as a pin and asks me what's wrong? Now I'm standing there butt nude with my flagpole up and his naked wife sitting on the bed waiting for me to fuck her and he would like to help me somehow. That is the mark of a perfect gentleman. That's as blunt as I can put it. I said to him, "Watch this," then went over to Connie, stuck my dick in her face and said "Okay, blow me." And she did that thing again, just blew air on me.
"Oh for crying out loud!" exclaimed "Bob," striking himself on the side of the head. Then, pushing Connie aside he said, "Now I am only going to show you this one more time and I hope you will pay attention," And she said,"Yes dear" and I suddenly got the feeling I'd been cheated.
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Original file name: blowbob by nenslo
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