The ORIGINAL The Day that Love Came to Play

From: (John Searcy)
Date: Sun, 17 Sep

Yes, friends, here it is: the incredible first two pages of The Day
that Love Came to Play by Famed Coksman. I posted a relatively lame
excerpt from this work a while ago, but this here is the seminal
masterpiece that started it all, penned by my "pal", Andrew Larson.
Read it for yourself and discover why this book has been banned from
every Dallas school it's been taken to! Watch American literature
being reinvented in front of your very eyes as you read these sacred
pages of The Day that Love Came to Play by Famed Coksman. NOTE: For
national security reasons, there is some censorship at the end of the
document. Certain classified key phrases have been replaced by a
description of the phrases, encased in arbitrarily selected
bracebrackets which look like this: [{ }] for easy identification.
Also, some of the jokes in here are "private" and could not be readily
understood by anyone on the face of the globe except me and a few
other people, but that does not make this work any less mighty.
Anyway, here's the excerpt. Enjoy, and experience the mightiness for

The day that Love came to play
by Famed Coksman

One day there was a man named Famed Coksman, who's job was to dig
a hole in the Earth. But then some rockets shot out from a planet and
went up his butt and he died. But his friend didn't care because the
rockets was his idea and he took all the credit form another guy who
liked to look at his own asshole in the mirror before he took a
shower. That way he could tell when he was how much shit there was
stuck in his butthair. When the time came to give all the dirt that he
had dug to a man, Famed Coksman gave it to Nicholas Williams, a gay
from New York who had a vagina in his bottom. and also, this one time,

there was these signs of the Lower School that reminded the kids to
flush the toilets so that shit and pee wouldn't be in it, and this one
kid put poo on the sign. Nicholas have this dirt to ApeMan, who was
his sad and had hair everywhere, but when he took the kids to a
rocknroll concert he lost the dirt back a Medical City. But this
waiter who worked there who wasn't really a waiter took it and went to
the ground where you could buy stuff and that was real cheap so he did
it. This made ApeMan mad, so he went crazy. The space ship that he was
on made sounds like DEVO, but also liked the Ventures on this one day
when Don Wilson got in a fight with Nokie Edwards, who disagreed on
the Cuban missile crisis with Mel Taylor, the mightiest band member,

and, if it wasn't for his amazing dexterity, would have died this one
time on the toilet when he flushed, but Bob Bogle saved him. Together
they instantly got together and played "Penetration.". This caught the
eye of West Coast producer Bill Graham, who couldn't understand why
Metallica had to be so destructive. And once, Metallica threw this
mike stand into the audience and hit this kid on the head and fucked
it up real bad so they took him back stage and gave him T-shirts and
liquor and stuff but sure enough, in a couple of days a lawyer calls
and they were like "Give our fuckin' shirts back, ha ha!" And that
same lawyer was also the guy who defended Son of Sam, who later died
of gonad disease, which aslo killed this man who met the creator of
the wah-wah pedal. That was really cool for him, because he always had
enjoyed a little tasteful wah-wah work here and there. But once when
he was a kid he bought a wah and a guitar, but he was a fuckup and
couldn't; play so he just sold it to his dad's son for money and kept
the wah-wah pedal. All of the kids at school made fun of him until he
hooked it up to their butts and started it to flame and shoot things
with spikes and hard doodoo. They all barfed and had to be sent home
with a note. One of the kids was this bitch named Heather Kline who
was the Shaitan and had this huge fucking tits that jiggled just like
real ones. And she smiled all the time and talked to boys on the phone
and was a cheerleader and was friends with this other bitch named
Floren Fagadau who had this voice that made you want to stick your cok
up your own arse and fuck it just so you didn't have to even start to
awaken your primal fear of coks and Ginnys and want to stick her,

even though that would be direct contact with a force of pure evil and
would cause your dick to break off and your gonads to crumble and
other things. and to close off the Unholy Triad there was Beth
Groznik, who also had these huge fucking tits that jiggled just like
real ones and was a cheer leader and looked like she was a porcelain
doll except that she had cunt hair. That by the way reminds me that
I've got to jack off sometime, but not now because I just did twice
today and I'm a-gonna wait until as late as possible to. But that's

not important compared to your lessons in Janorisms. But gorgordianism
is the only way to do that and I don't wanna tell you more you English
pig dog Sterno storie reading Historie of Witchkraft bitchhole Hendrix
but more than Negativland who now has its own rack in the Best Buy by
school, yes the school were our very own project umbilicus is being
tested by TEAM Umbilicus, who are a group of 12 who devout their lives
to the purpose of their mission. Oh, the funky grooves of the wah, you

sex me more that the baddest assed vato. Chinga the madre, muchacho y
eso chica es un cabron. But don't you bes sayins that's masta, that
was only a drum to play along with uncle mojo, i didn't mean nothing
at least i didn't have a trumpet oh prease missah Dockery, gimmee back

much familie and my house, I'll l not listen to no more of that Snoopy

Dogg Dogg round these parts, Ill be a good boy and study my Patton.
He was the mentor of The Wolf, who used the name Chester Burnett but
really was named Chin Lao-Tze but really was named Bernie and drove #1

around the Middle Land for One Guy Luther. Die die die die die die die

die worms eating your...eyes! Bass Solo! Playem on down brucey, you
hot heterosexual man, and beer drinker like Kyle who like s Heiniken
but his buddy no like. Guitar warrior rebel car driver rollin stone
moss tramp he's a Highway child who's woman messed aroun and did a
pretty roam. Famed Coksman used to, before his job as a dig dirter,
drive around these buggies who's only purpose was to feel pai-no. Go
carts who's only purpose was to be hooked up to janers DAVID HATHORN
DOUG SMITH [{Ivan Stang's wife's name}] ALEXANDRER [{Ivan Stang's
daughter's name}] [{Ivan Stang's street address}] DALLAS TEXAS NO ONE


Sniff...if only all literature could be this grand.


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