Once upon a time there was this one guy that was neurotic and psychotic and psychologically aberrant and his sick and twisted brain caused him to go buy four cans of Vienna sausage every time he saw a dick. And since he was a homo and often saw a large number of dicks in the course of a week, he had accumulated a quantity of cans of Vienna sausages such that the earth was in danger of becoming off-balance if too many more cans of Vienna sausage was stored in that guy's house. One day he saw eighty hundred dicks and had to go buy three hundred and twenty hundred cans of Vienna sausage, which he put in the closet next to all the other cans. But this meant that there was eighty-six hundred million times ten to the six-billionth power of cans of Vienna sausage there and that was just enough to tip the earth off balance and off its axis too and so it started plumeting in towards the sun at 64,763 miles per hour. The closer it got to the sun the hotter it got and it was really hot especially in
this one little town and this other guy was driving and didn't have an air-conditioner and it was a traffic jam and he got super mad and pulled out a machine gun and started blasting everybody around him. But this other one guy had on a bullet proof vest but he was buttfucking a poodle in the car and couldn't get out and stop that other guy from killing everybody else. But then the cops came, but they were all retarded and had a real bad skin disease so just when they came to the guy that was killing everybody, they dropped their guns all of the sudden and started scratching and so the guy with the machine gun got the drop on them and killed them by shooting their dicks off. Just at that exact moment that one guy who was a homo saw the dicks flying through the air and had to go buy cans of Vienna sausage but most of the earth had already burned to a crisp and so he couldn't find any because it was too hot to go in the stores because they were all on fire or already burned up. So he went even more
insane and took a pitchfork and stabbed it in his own dick and then cut his dick off and ate half of it and shared the other half with this other guy who went insane too except because of the heat instead of not having any cans of Vienna sausage to buy. But then all of the sudden a giant black hole came and froze everything into a solid block of ice but just before it froze a store stopped being on fire just in front of the guy and he ran in and found a can of Vienna sausage and wanted to jack off on it but his dick was already cut off and so he just committed suicide instead.
The End
Original file name: Availing Trauma Beach
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