Brightly Sing the Eclipsed Wallboards

by Rev. Sternodox

Once upon a time these 56,789 guys decided to take a shit. So they
ate and ate and ate until they all had to shit at the same time and
their collective bowel movement, when totalled cumulatively, came to
111,567,432 pounds of shit. Then these 2,685,124 girls who had all
just got buttfucked by 79,436,123.5 un-buttsplit Moonies farted an
amazing 45,764,675,220 cubic liters of aromatic butt gas that wafted
lazily over an area of not less than 423,567,876,123 square feet.
Suddenly 34,543 retarded Mexicans who couldn't see without their
glasses and contact lenses stumbled into a field wherein lay a
particularly virulent accumulation of the aforementioned butt gas
and, even though the pestilent cloud was a sickly grey-green colour,
these stupid fucking Mexicans couldn't see it because they were about
half blind and totally retarded at the same time. The first Mexican
who died as a result of inhaling a scant .000000054 cubic millileters
didn't even serve as a warning to the other Mexicans because they
were so fucking retarded that they didn't even know that you should
wipe your fucking asshole after you take a shit, that's how fucking
stupid they were. Suddenly 40,000 (approximately) members of the
Fullbright Lithuanian Rat Felchers Collective (Edensong Branch) saw
that all those retarded Mexicans had all died a horrible,
stench-ridden death. So they all ran down there to that field with a
mind to buttfuck the corpses, but the gas, although now practically
transparent and seemingly harmless, still packed a fucking wallop and
no sooner than did 5,426 of the Rat Felchers have their dicks in the
assholes of a like number of dead retarded Mexicans than did they
perish in a manner similar to that which had befallen the
unfortunate (but incredibly ignorant) Mexicans. When the girls who
had got buttfucked by the Moonies (all but 76,321 of them, that is)
saw what their powerful fart had wrought, they all became Jehova's
Witnesses and crawled from door to door with massive, shit-begrimed
artificial phalluses protruding from their anuses, hawking poorly
edited pamphlets and attempting to convert the errant citizens to
their fucked up religion, but not having much success due to their
abhorent appearance and objectionable odor. Then Odin, Hitler, Jesus
and Samson all teamed up and buttfucked everybody in the universe.

The End

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