Clawing Stamina Breath Plugs

by Rev. Sternodox

Once upon a time was this gigantic rectum that wasn't attached to any
human body or animal body but was just a giant rectum all by itself.
One day, as the rectum (whose name was Ralph) was levitating itself
along the Path of Blistering Nodules, it came upon another gigantic
unattached rectum named Belinda, only this one was bleeding severely
from hundreds of tiny ruptures along the surface of its skin. "Oh
my," said Ralph, "Has some gigantic dick buttfucked you and is that
how come you're bleeding all out of those anal fissures and stuff?"
But by the time Ralph had finished this line of questioning, Belinda
had already bled to death. Now Ralph was faced with a quandry that
had never been fully addressed in his Sunday School lessons. Did he
turn necro and start to buttfuck the giant, bloody, dead rectum in a
frenzy of pornographic lust fulfillment, or did he enter into a
monastic state and begin twelve years of regemented prayer and
scholarly meditation on the meaning of life? Ralph thought and
thought. On the one hand, it sure would feel good to buttfuck that
dead rectum. On the other hand, Ralph didn't even have a fucking
dick because all he was was a gigantic assemblage of sphincter
material. Suddenly, the Good Fart Fairy showed up wearing a beige
tutu, sequined high heels and too much green eye make-up. "Hello
Ralph, I am your good fart fairy," said the Good Fart Fairy. "Gosh,"
said Ralph, "I wish for ..." But the Good Fart Fairy held up three
fingers, which were all covered in shit. "Not so fast, Ralph. First
you must ..." But just then it started raining poisonous shit down on
everybody and killed Ralph and the Good Fart Fairy instantly but
didn't kill this other creature who was shaped like twelve giant
dicks all joined together at the heads so it was real frustrated that
it couldn't fuck anything because it wouldn't be able to get in
there. Just then a magic mirror came there and the twelve-dick
creature looked at it for but an instant and was magically
transformed into Dan Blocker, who was dead for so long he looked just
like a mostly rotted zombie who crawled out of the grave and started
to buttfuck the dead rectums and the Good Fart Fairy all at the same
time because nobody knew it but he always had three dicks. But Hitler
had a Poloroid Land Camera and was hiding behind a beautiful bush and
took a picture of Dan Blocker buttfucking a dead, bleeding rectum and
threatened to turn it over to the newspapers if Dan Blocker didn't
give him one of his dicks. But Dan Blocker decided to just keep all
his dicks and didn't care if Hitler did that and told Hitler to fuck
off. So Hitler called the Insect Jesus to fly the poloroid to the New
York Times but he dropped it in the La Brea Tar Pits and was magic
and turned the mastodons and giant sabre tooth tigers into real live
vampire go-go girls whose patent leather boots were made out of the
skin of white slave girls that were sold to these perverted Middle
Eastern land barons who were buttfucking in this jet airplane that
malfunctioned and crashed into an orphanage and killed the pilot and
everyone in it and also all the orphans except one who was a Mexican
and who became dictator of the whole world and legalized it to
buttfuck dead, bleeding rectums on national television.

The End

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