Once upon a time there was this one guy, Fred, who had a collection
of rare viruses in a secret laboratory in his bedroom closet so his
Mom wouldn't find out about it. He had samples of Botulism, Ebola
Zaire, Lamprey Throat, Hooving Cock, leprosy, hepatisis (A, B & Q),
AILS, Quail Fever, Spooner's Disease, Aaaaarrghgh Fever, Dipshits and
dozens of others and he was so socially maladjusted that he would
stick dead rodents and reptiles up his asshole while dreaming of
dumping all his viruses into the local water supply. One day this
cute girl, Betty, who lived next door to him came over to ask him if
he could teach her how to give decent blowjobs so she could score
with Wayne, who was the stuck-up captain of the Varsity Punching Team
at their high school. Betty put on her prettiest sun dress and
skipped over to next door where Fred was busy stuffing dead voles and
hampster up his asshole while sniffing his custom mixture of heroin,
speed and dried, ground up ear mites. When Fred saw Betty looking at
him through his cracked door, he was so embarrassed that he grabbed
the 38-special he kept on his nightstand and killed Betty by blowing
a hole through her brains. But Betty's Dad was really Satan, who was
married to Patty Duke and they had her as a result of that unholy
union. Anyway, Satan comes over and makes his asshole really huge and
grabs Fred and stuffs him up into his rectum as far as the really
beginning of the small intestine and Fred starts to suffocate in
there. It smells totally awful with all the shit from the other
people Satan ate, including Porter Waggoner, William Frawley, Vanna
White and Pee/Poop Dog. But Zeus was at the window ordering another
cheeseburger when the van popped its hood and revealed Charo playing
with her vaginal piercings by attaching them to the radiator hose and
yelling "Flush" to the service station attendant. Writing down her
thoughts, Gina Lollabrigida suddenly had to fart and it was magic and
blew down the walls of the castle which let the Mongols and Nazis and
Huns in to rape the women and buttfuck the men all day till the fires
died down and they settled in to sleep till the next day, but the
next day it rained and they cancelled Woodstock and so Satan decided
to spend the night buttfucking David Crosby instead of going bowling
with Quetzalcoatl like he'd been planning to do. Then the Roman Army
came through a time warp and dropped the atom bomb on the Seminole
Indians and started a giant war that ended just as soon as both of
them started buttfucking each other. Then a chemical that made
everybody turn into S. Clay Wilson spilled into the lagoon and
suddenly there were magic dicks and demons eating everybody's shit in
the front lawn and especially in front of the hospital where Dean
Martin was playing with himself while a nurse watched from the
hallway where there was a Lincoln Log sculpture of a pussy being
filled with shit.
The End
Original file name: Swedish Meatball Embers
This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.