The Battle of the World

by Rev. Sternodox

There was this captain in the army and he said that he would of
killed Adolf Hitler if they would of let him. But the generals and
the president and the king said that they had spend all the money on
the giant navy and army that would land on the beach and end the war
and that they couldn't waste all that money by already killing Hitler
and not doing it. So the captain decided to go to Paraguay where
there was this cult that figured out how to bring a demon out of
where all the demons were and they sat around in the big circle and
did a chant and throw some of the herbs on the fire and did a chant
some more and then the demon showed up but in the wrong place. That
demon didn't show up in the right circle but instead showed up in
this taxi that was in Montana. The taxi driver didn't see the demon
at first but the people in the back seat who were fucking but they
weren't married did but only just before the demon landed on them and
weighed twenty hundred pounds and they suffocated under him. But then
the cab driver had a major heart stroke and died and the car lost
control. But over in Germany where Hitler was, his men who were
torturing these Mexicans found out that when they put the hot poker
on them that shit came out of their butts. So they put all the shit
in a bucket and saved it for Hitler to put on the tray. Then the
garbageman came accidently and put it in the truck and went to
Belgium. But the demon invaded a giant factory where they all built
the other trays that they put the cheese on and stuff and the factory
burnt down because of it and the cafes and stuff couldn't serve the
cheese trays any more and went out of business. But this one cafe
owner liked to have sex with a sewer rat and the neighbors saw it and
called the police and they took him to jail but he escaped and went
to Singapore and was a spy. But the spy equipment they gave him
didn't work and he was injured when he put up a plastic shower
curtain to hide him when he fucked a pidgeon. Just then a retarded
shower curtain installer walked in and took the guy who was fucking
the pidgeon and put his head in a vice and squeezed it till the guy
was screaming in horrible agony and then the retard took eighty
hundred razor blades and jammed them into the guy's asshole one at a
time and took one of the razor blades and slowly peeled the skin back
from the guy's forehead and just until it didn't kill him and he got
a slit in the skin and the retard was fucking the guy in the slit in
the skin in his head. Then the police came in but they were perverts
and started jacking off at the retard fucking this guy's slit in his
skin while his head was in the vice. Then they got close to where
they were cumming and they walk over to the retard and they squirt
all on the guy's head and their cum turned into sulfuric acid by
magic and it melted the retard's dick off but it turned into a giant
magical dick with warts on it that had organic fish-hooks all on it
and it kept going in and out of the wound on the poor guy who's head
was in the vice. Then the dick turned into a giant chainsaw that had
lemon juice and paper cut stuff and acid and piss on the blades and
it was still fucking the guy in the wound in his head that was
starting to get festered and maggots were all in it. Then the huge
magical dick turned into five dicks: One of them had sixty-thousand
hundred doberman pinscher dicks all on it with nails instead of cum.
The second one had a mutant lobster growing out of it that clamped on
the guy whose head was in the vice on his balls and squeezed. The
third one only squirted out giant retarded Mexicans who had rabies
and who all buttfucked the poor guy. The fourth one was really made
out of a zillion other dicks that had lice on them and also ticks and
maggot shit. The fifth one was also in another dimension at the same
time was fucking all kinds of different people who all had their
heads in vices by magic. But just then the second one turned into the
fifth one by mistake so it stopped fucking everybody except the one
guy who's head was in the vice. Then the first and second one turned
into eight more dicks and they all had warts on them that leaked
raccoon sperm onto the floor that was magic and turned into a
bleeding rectum that was worshipped as a god in this other dimension
where none of the dicks were fucking anything. But the guy's head was
starting to swell up in the vice and the pressure was becoming
unendurable to him and so was the pain. But all the other dicks
studded themselves with iron spikes that were rusty and covered with
rodent shit and they all started competition to see which one was
going to fuck the wound in the guy's head the most. But the head
wound ripped and tore and hurt real bad so more of the metallic,
spiked and infected dicks could fuck it. They just kept fucking that
guy in the head over and over again for all eternity. Suddenly one of
the dicks stopped fucking the guy in the head wound for a second but
started right back up doing it again after a minute. Then almost half
of the dicks started to cum, but they came shit instead of cum and it
increased the guy's discomfort immensely to be covered all in stinky
shit while being head fucked by dozens and dozens (if not thousands)
of demonic dicks. Then a couple thousand MORE dicks showed up, some
of which were endowed with red hot anvils instead of glanses and they
simultaneously began fucking the guy's wound, hurting him even more.
One of the dicks that had the anvil instead of the glans split in two
and each half sprouted a computer program that somehow animated all
the factories in Nazi Germany to start producing these giant bionic
dicks that each had thousands of separate torture devices attatched
to them and they were all air-lifed, one by one, to where the guy had
his head in a vice and they stood in line to fuck him in the head
wound. Meanwhile some of the dicks who were waiting to fuck the guy's
head wound were standing around smoking cigarettes and talking about
stuff and then the whistle blew and they had to put out the
cigarettes and go in and fuck the guy in the head some more. But some
of the dicks started running out of energy and the guy noticed that
there was some relief in part of his head where a few of the dicks
had stopped fucking him in it, but then a whole load of brand new dick
batteries were brought and installed and the dicks that had stopped
started fucking him in the head wound again even harder and faster
than before because of the new batteries. But then one of the guards
who was watching on the monitors noticed that a couple of the dicks
(the ones with brillo pads instead of glans) had snuck away to the
bathroom to fuck each other and the guard told on them and they had
to come back to start fucking the guy's head wound some more. Then
suddenly all the matter in the universe coalesced into one giant dick
and fucked the guy for a couple of weeks until the energy build up
cause a critical mass and the giant universe dick exploded and turned
into over SIXTY BILLION still fairly large dicks that all had lesions
all over them that leaked every disease known to man out of them.
Then this one real tiny dick was fucking the guy and he couldn't even
feel that one because of all the giant dicks that were fucking him in
the head, that somebody noticed that he couldn't feel that little
tiny dick and they turned it into the biggest dick yet by magic. Then
some of the dicks got injected with speed and started fucking him in
the head READ FAST until it all hurt so bad that the guy started
screaming and vomiting. But all the dicks just scarfed up the vomit
and mixed it with their acid cum and squirted all over the guy in his
head wound again. And this went on for the rest of the guy's life and
to all his kids and neighbors too.

The End

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