Macworld (email@example.com) wrote:
: Tonight, November 27, at 6pm PST, subgenii are invited to attend an
: America Online live event in the Macworld area. Topic will be the new
: Subgenius book "Revelation X 'BOBAPOCRYPHON.'" Be there or kill me.
: Suzanne Stefanac
: Editor.Macworld Online
: P.S. If you miss it, you can read the transcript, read a chapter of the
: book and/or download a "Bob" icon from the Macworld area on AOL.a
Er.. wait a second here.
Does this imply that Rev. Stang -pays- for AOL service? instead of
just stealing net.access off a local college like the rest of the
rest of the partially-sane world?
Does he send his check in, every month.. ick.. wow.. feeding money
to a large company like Simon and Schuster. Now, if they gave him a lifetime
account out of sheer respect, this I could deal with..
"BTW, I always kind of wondered: is "Ivan Stang" more a stage name or
an alias? I make a point of never letting the "secret" out, but it
seems ya leave enough clues floating around ... or is it something
that the discerning are supposed to figure out?"
Subject: Re: Rev. Stang and Philo Drummond on AOL tonight
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (CMaikisch)
In article <email@example.com>, firstname.lastname@example.org
(Andrea Payne) writes:
something I can't quote because AOL SUCKS!!!!!
I think they're giving him a free account sooner or later because he's a
'draw' for new subscribers. That, or he's getting on free somewhere else
(lucky bastard...), from what I've heard...
Subject: Re: Rev. Stang and Philo Drummond on AOL tonight
From: email@example.com (SubGStang1)
WOW!!! TELL ME WHAT YOU HEARD!!
A "draw" for new subscribers?? Are you KIDDING?? My INSANE LORD, DOBBS, THE
ONLY TRUEST GREAT ONE, is indeed famous as hell, but his church and his
Scribes -- such as myself -- languish in the same (OR MUCH MUCH WORSE)
utter poverty as any St. Francis of Assisssi type of enlightened holy
idiot. Yes, it's true, I have had to actually pay at least one $100+ AOL
online bill. Nobody cares... nobody gives us everything for free, no matter
how we deserve it. And don't we all? However, I have finally gotten
"approval" for use of a "free" connection to Internet, by way of MY WIFE'S
JOB, and in theory I can do this for $5 a year. In practice -- well,
apparently you get what you pay for. Our approval finally came through from
the State but it turns out the State's free service SUCKS UTTERLY, either
that or my stolen modem does. Or this Hayes SmartCoN-II program and the
stolen modem don't "fit" properly. At any rate, I'm striving to achieve the
ultimate freebie connection, YES -- but it has nothing to do with my
"virtual" "standing" or "status" as some sort of "art boy" in this world.
HELL YEAH, you would THINK that the guy who SHOULDERED THE BURDEN for all
those years FOR DOBBS would at least get MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN PURE
PAYBACK from every corporation-owning computer nerd in the world, but NO.
The Conspiracy has merely FOOLED YOU into thinking that I, Stang, am some
sort of HOT SHOT LITERARY OUTLAW. The fact is, Dobbs has all the free time
and I must sit here considering myself LUCKY to leach off his SCRIMPY
LEAVINGS, net-wise. Same with PHILO!!! We're paying BILLS. I know, I know,
it's depressing and we shouldn't even admit to such a thing. But that's
EXACTLY WHY WE NEED ALL YOUR EXCESS CASH!!! Is that so HARD TO
UNDERSTAND??? We LOVE you, dear friends, and we want to deliver to you
EVERYTHING WE HAVE ON DISC. And we will. But stop making ASSUMPTIONS. At
least, stop making any kind of POSITIVE assumptions. Your NEGATIVE
assumptions are probably ALL TRUE.
I tried tonight, having JUST GOT BACK from the preaching "tour" (they think
it's some kind of paid-for "TOUR!"!!), to get into alt.slack through my
brand new freebie service, and it turns out my stolen modem has the wrong
"string manipulations" or something -- which I could fix, WERE IT NOT
STOLEN AND HAD I THEREFORE THE DOCUMENTATION!!! But It's swiped, and I
don't have a clue how to rework this UDS FasTalk Fax 32 Motorola modem.
I'll figure it out or get a new modem eventually, hell, it's just another
BUSINESS EXPENSE, we got a few paltry bucks from the Cleveland-Philly
shows, we can probably afford one of those cheesy $100 modems just so as to
have the "SPECS" on it... DOES ANYBODY OUT THERE HAVE THOSE "SPECS"?? For
the UDS FasTalk Fax 32 Motorola modem??? That could make life easier.
the system I have free access to (which I cannot name because I'm using it
probably illegally in someone else's name(literally), seems SO FAR to be
very limited. BUT I JUST DON'T KNOW. I'm gonna have to spend a whole day
dialing up and trying out the several local semi-freenet systems that
YOU-ALL have turned me on to. BUT WHY MUST IT BE SO COMPLICATED??? Aw hell,
I have to admit, I actually ENJOY this NEEDLESS TECHNICAL DITHERING. I'm as
techno-addicted as the next guy -- I'm just way behind him. Ah well...
we'll see. It'll all work out marvelously in the end. It always does, AFTER
THE 15 YEARS OF HELLISH TOIL.
In the meantime... the important thing is not the TECHNO DELIVERY SYSTEM,
but the SUBJECT MATTER that is delivered. And we shall deliver. This I
Why Am I Writing This,
Rev. Ivan Stang, DUH-273
(UPDATE if you really care)
from Rev. Stanky
Yes, shameful as it is to admit, I spent the first 2 months of my online life with America Online. As a consequence, I have sworn to spend the rest of my life leading victims AWAY from that pit of hell (and its ilk) and over to these NICE, CHEAP, local access servers, such as the noble Texas Metronet, from which I currently spew for the very reasonable price of $20/month flat rate. I will gladly email my short essay, "How to Escape from AOL," to anyone interested (write firstname.lastname@example.org). But all it really tells you is to go out and buy the book INTERNET STARTER KIT (for Mac or PC... two versions), which provides a very well-written, easy-to-follow, kinda-funny introduction to the basics of the Internet, along with a disk full of all the shareware programs you need, and addresses of local access servers. Take my word for it, those shareware programs by unsung geniuses that make Net life so easy ARE CHILD'S PLAY. DON'T BE FOOLED by the commercial services. You can do everything faster, cheaper, and uncensored by taking a few days off to bone up on DIRECT INTERNET ACCESS. If an old silverback like me can do it, ANYBODY can.
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