Remember Morton Downey Jr?

From: i.stang@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Date: 10 May 1995

I think this poor victim of AOL was directing this letter to me via the
newgroup. HEY MAN!!! Use the email address. Although this does give me a
chance to brag about meeting Morton Downey Jr.

stimpynren@aol.com (StimpyNRen) wrote:

> Remember the slackful SubGenius who infiltrated the nationally syndickated
> Morton Downey Jr. Show and got you on the air for a whole freakin' HOUR
> two years ago? ON GOOD FRIDAY!!?

YES I REMEMBER. I don't remember your NAME, just your FACE.

> Nyah. You're a Celebrity type. You move in circles we lowly Bobbies can
> only dream of!

No, I RUN in circles. From the house to the high school to the P.O. to the
bank to the supermarket to the Trinity River bottoms to dump the
soul-drained "shells" of the Bobbies, and back to the house again,
sometimes 3 times a day.

>We don't have the SLACK to lick yer smelly boots! I guess I
> should just go and kill myself again just cuz "Bob" ain't around.

You said it, not me.

> Besides it was a kinda lame show. I mean YOU were good. Don't git me
> wrong, but Downey's a right-conservative wanna-be with delusions of
> grandeur and the bastard still owes me $1500.00!!!! That's what I get for
> trying to infiltrate the Conspiracy ridden Talk Show Circuit for "Bob"!!

It was well worth it to me to get a recording of Morton Downey Jr. reading
about "Bob's" childhood from THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS. It's true that
Downey didn't appear to hear a word I said, but having that one clip of
him haltingly reading THE BOOK is a choice chunk for playing completely
out of context as Hour of Slack "punctuation." So I'm really glad you set
that interview up!

> (bad Rodney Dangerfield impersonation) NO respect! No respect at all! (bad
> jewish lady impersonation) And do you ever call?? NO! "What have you done
> for me lately??" is all you can say!

Yeah, what HAVE you done for ME lately??

> Oh, I also used to be with this guy named Dr. Donald Prescott who
> published a zine called Ideology of Madness. A cheap short lived fanzine
> that claimed to be the first official Stangian Hate Magazine.

Too bad it folded. You'd have a lot more contributors now.

>Think you
> even read some of Don's rambling on the air and called us both Bobbies. He
> and I finally parted our ways.

You know, I saw all 2 or 3 issues of that zine and I never could figure
out WHICH SIN you guys were hating me for. I mean, there was never any
REASON given to hate Stang aside from the fact that I hardly ever let
anybody else on the radio show except via tape.

>As all good churches must do, we schismed.
> He got married and I got laid (up in a hospital) and my life is much
> better now. I'm still a Bobbie, probably. Partly cuz I still haven't
> completely understood what the definition of a Bobbie is! Probably anyone
> who hasn't done anything for you lately. :)

I have really enjoyed the uses to which the term Bobbie has been put. I
would challenge anyone to find an example of me ever refering directly to
any specific person as a "Bobbie." Well, once when Buck pissed me off, I
quoted him as describing himself as "the first Bobbie"... which is not
accurate. Technically, I was the first Bobbie. And come to think of it, we
did used to refer to a couple of specific San Francisco criminally-minded
assholes as "model Bobbies." But not publically.

By definition, the "Bobbie" is always the OTHER guy, anyway. It's a vague
term that gives us more to HATE.

> P.S. Is it okay if I make wave files of crap in the Media Barrage Tapes I
> bought from your church? I mean I already have, but since I can now
> contact you maybe I should ask yer permission, eh? Not that I'm gonna make
> any money doing it, but if I ever do, I'll be sure to send you a cult- I
> mean a CUT.

Well, it's kind of a moot point, isn't it? I don't think anybody here
feels threatened that the gigantic income produced by Media Barrage tapes
will be offset appreciably by 10-second bites that take an hour to
download. Hell, the BOOTLEGS end up excerpted on EUROPEAN PUNK MUSIC CDs
nowadays.

>Still the same address, right? And what's this $30 for
> membership, now? It was $20 when I joined up in 1985! Inflation? Only got
> two Stark Fists by the way. Was I suppose to get four?

I think "Bob" meant you were supposed to TELL us when you MOVED. Even
"Bob's" psychic abilities don't extend to mail forwarding, at least not
when we WANT them to.

Stanky

--
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB

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