Remember Morton Downey Jr?

From: (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Date: 10 May 1995

I think this poor victim of AOL was directing this letter to me via the
newgroup. HEY MAN!!! Use the email address. Although this does give me a
chance to brag about meeting Morton Downey Jr. (StimpyNRen) wrote:

> Remember the slackful SubGenius who infiltrated the nationally syndickated
> Morton Downey Jr. Show and got you on the air for a whole freakin' HOUR
> two years ago? ON GOOD FRIDAY!!?

YES I REMEMBER. I don't remember your NAME, just your FACE.

> Nyah. You're a Celebrity type. You move in circles we lowly Bobbies can
> only dream of!

No, I RUN in circles. From the house to the high school to the P.O. to the
bank to the supermarket to the Trinity River bottoms to dump the
soul-drained "shells" of the Bobbies, and back to the house again,
sometimes 3 times a day.

>We don't have the SLACK to lick yer smelly boots! I guess I
> should just go and kill myself again just cuz "Bob" ain't around.

You said it, not me.

> Besides it was a kinda lame show. I mean YOU were good. Don't git me
> wrong, but Downey's a right-conservative wanna-be with delusions of
> grandeur and the bastard still owes me $1500.00!!!! That's what I get for
> trying to infiltrate the Conspiracy ridden Talk Show Circuit for "Bob"!!

It was well worth it to me to get a recording of Morton Downey Jr. reading
about "Bob's" childhood from THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS. It's true that
Downey didn't appear to hear a word I said, but having that one clip of
him haltingly reading THE BOOK is a choice chunk for playing completely
out of context as Hour of Slack "punctuation." So I'm really glad you set
that interview up!

> (bad Rodney Dangerfield impersonation) NO respect! No respect at all! (bad
> jewish lady impersonation) And do you ever call?? NO! "What have you done
> for me lately??" is all you can say!

Yeah, what HAVE you done for ME lately??

> Oh, I also used to be with this guy named Dr. Donald Prescott who
> published a zine called Ideology of Madness. A cheap short lived fanzine
> that claimed to be the first official Stangian Hate Magazine.

Too bad it folded. You'd have a lot more contributors now.

>Think you
> even read some of Don's rambling on the air and called us both Bobbies. He
> and I finally parted our ways.

You know, I saw all 2 or 3 issues of that zine and I never could figure
out WHICH SIN you guys were hating me for. I mean, there was never any
REASON given to hate Stang aside from the fact that I hardly ever let
anybody else on the radio show except via tape.

>As all good churches must do, we schismed.
> He got married and I got laid (up in a hospital) and my life is much
> better now. I'm still a Bobbie, probably. Partly cuz I still haven't
> completely understood what the definition of a Bobbie is! Probably anyone
> who hasn't done anything for you lately. :)

I have really enjoyed the uses to which the term Bobbie has been put. I
would challenge anyone to find an example of me ever refering directly to
any specific person as a "Bobbie." Well, once when Buck pissed me off, I
quoted him as describing himself as "the first Bobbie"... which is not
accurate. Technically, I was the first Bobbie. And come to think of it, we
did used to refer to a couple of specific San Francisco criminally-minded
assholes as "model Bobbies." But not publically.

By definition, the "Bobbie" is always the OTHER guy, anyway. It's a vague
term that gives us more to HATE.

> P.S. Is it okay if I make wave files of crap in the Media Barrage Tapes I
> bought from your church? I mean I already have, but since I can now
> contact you maybe I should ask yer permission, eh? Not that I'm gonna make
> any money doing it, but if I ever do, I'll be sure to send you a cult- I
> mean a CUT.

Well, it's kind of a moot point, isn't it? I don't think anybody here
feels threatened that the gigantic income produced by Media Barrage tapes
will be offset appreciably by 10-second bites that take an hour to
download. Hell, the BOOTLEGS end up excerpted on EUROPEAN PUNK MUSIC CDs

>Still the same address, right? And what's this $30 for
> membership, now? It was $20 when I joined up in 1985! Inflation? Only got
> two Stark Fists by the way. Was I suppose to get four?

I think "Bob" meant you were supposed to TELL us when you MOVED. Even
"Bob's" psychic abilities don't extend to mail forwarding, at least not
when we WANT them to.


Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB


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