From: nu-monet <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: Fri, Sep 21, 2001 11:21 PM
Tests to determine if you are a Homo
Hundreds of homos lead normal, happy lives.
There is no shame in being a homo.
Homos are weak and easily beat up.
Groups of homos are dangerous and will try
to take off your clothes and kill you.
Homos like to kidnap little boys and marry
Homos know all the latest dance steps and
have great stereo equipment.
Homos never say their prayers.
Homos cry if you're mean to them.
The only way to kill a homo is with a silver
2. [WORD ANALYSIS]
Do you think of yourself as:
A Human Being?
A Homo Sapiens?
When you order a glass of milk, do you ask
When you are with friends, do you think of
the group as:
Do you think of the indigent as:
If you were travelling, would you stay at a:
Bed & Breakfast?
pair the items that go together best
maroon velvet drapes tan chamois bodyshirt
black chintz bedspread wheat colored jeans
mauve colored turtleneck white satin sheets
U.S. Marines uniform Spandex jockstrap
taupe corduroy knickers Oriental scatter rugs
powder-blue pullover navy-blue double-breasted blazer
black leather briefs hickory riding crop
4. [BIBICAL LITERATURE]
identify the top five characters you identify with
Abel Cain Ham
Lot Onan Esau
Sodomites Gomorrahns Nebudchanezzar
Jesus King Herod Judas
Samson Delilah John the Baptist
5. [OTHER LITERATURE AND AUTHORS]
Godot Capt. Ahab Hamlet
Puck Tinkerbell Peter Pan
Sherlock Holmes Dr. Watson Mr. Hyde
Lestat Dr. Frankenstein Marquis de Sade
Truman Capote Oscar Wilde Socrates
6. [LINGERING LATENCY]
When you were a child, did you believe in:
The Tooth Fairy?
When you were a child, and played doctor, what kind
doctor were you:
Who's death did you find most upsetting:
When did you stop breast feeding:
What is your favorite fruit:
7. [HAVE YOU EVER?]
Slipped and fallen while taking a shower
and landed on a lemon?
Accidently sat on a shot glass while
playing strip poker?
Gotten "trapped" while vacuuming in the nude?
Been tied face down to a bed, and abandoned.
If this test makes you think about scoring, then
you are probably a homo.
Original file name: HOMO TEST - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:30
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