Subject: Why do they say...

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Aug 7, 2001 1:58 PM
Message-ID: <B%Vb7.61882$oh1.23703676@news2.rdc2.tx.home.com>

"This medicine may cause drowsiness", instead of "This medicine will knock
you on your ASS!!!"???

If anyone wants to find me for the next three to five days, too bad. I have
been knocked on my ass by viral gastro enteritis medicine!!!
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Subject: Re: Why do they say...
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

Would you be happier if it said, "This medication may
cause vivid and intense hallucinations, transcending
ordinary consciousness and reaching far beyond ordinary
experience, during which time you may repeatedly vomit
and defacate in your clothes while babbling like an idiot
in a paranoid-schizophrenic mania; or not, during which
time you may repeatedly vomit and defacate in your clothes
while babbling like an idiot in a paranoid-schizophrenic
mania"?

May also cause drowsiness.

--
"There is no nu-monet. There is only Zuul."
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Subject: Re: Why do they say...
From: joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

>May also cause drowsiness.

It would give you something to look forward to.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"When you were establishing your personal relationship with God didn't
He tell you that CLUELESS PEOPLE MAKE BABY JESUS CRY?"
-- Steve Sullivan

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
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Subject: Re: Why do they say...
From: Agent Lloyd <ldista@fuse.net>

That sounds like the label on some Hawaiian shrooms.

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Subject: Re: Why do they say...
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

May I assume that you are referring to my experience at
AmsterDokstock II?

If that is the case, let me inform you that I neither vomited
nor had undue or inappropriate bowel movements, and that other
than being a drooling idiot for a few hours and dancing naked
on a bed in accompaniment to some unidentified black girl rap
troupe in homage and obiesance to the spirit of Till Eulenspeigel
inhabiting the 5th dimensional hotel room shower; something or
other...

...and I was neither spat upon by a hooker nor did I engage in
any unnatural acts with the llamas Pope Sternodox left behind
after "crossing the Vondelspark"; though I may have intimidated
certain security employees of the British consulate behind the
hotel by making lewd gestures at the security cameras.

Nor am I dissuaded from doing it again next year, if I can scrape
together adequate funds.

--
"There is no nu-monet. There is only Zuul."
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Subject: Re: Why do they say...
From: Agent Lloyd <ldista@fuse.net>

Hell, I'll do them with ya! Alcohol just doesn't back that
smash-your-brains-out-with-a-pineapple kick.

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Subject: Re: Why do they say...
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

Agent Lloyd wrote:
>
> Hell, I'll do them with ya! Alcohol just doesn't back that
> smash-your-brains-out-with-a-pineapple kick.
>

Well, truth be told, I found the Mexicans much more enjoyable.
Peaceful, sublime sort of gentle effect, hardly a high at all
except for the slight enhancement of color perception and a
joyous appreciation for the astounding beauty of the Vondelpark
in the bright sunlight, a gentle breeze tickling your nose as
your cares drift away.

Juxtaposed on this is the Hawaiian equivalent: a massive blood
curdling hangover in the mosh pit of a 140db Satan Punk concert
while rabid rats chew off your legs and zombie junkies blow
boiling green pus all over your face and you are utterly alone
in the filth and degradation that is the totally indifferent
universe until you pray for death that does not come.

Subjectively speaking, mind you, I found the former experience
far more enjoyable from a recreational point of view.

--
"There is no nu-monet. There is only Zuul."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

> "This medicine may cause drowsiness", instead of "This medicine will knock
> you on your ASS!!!"???
>
> If anyone wants to find me for the next three to five days, too bad. I have
> been knocked on my ass by viral gastro enteritis medicine!!!

I had the trots real real bad like that, "Tourista," for 7 days
straight, in ROME, ITALY, in 1973! It was one of the most horrible
times of my life. I was 19, someone else and I were HITCH-HIKING around
EUROPE (!!! -- wouldn't suggest that now). about the time we got to a
campground in the middle of Rome, I contracted the bowel-spasms to end
all bowel-spasms. For a whole WEEK my existence was one long CRAMP,
punctuated by literally crawling back and forth between my rotty little
tent and the ungodly Romish campground "toilet". Someone else toured
the city, she couldn't help me. after a few days she found a doc who
spoke English and gave me PILS.

But the WORST part was the CAMPGROUND JUKEBOX. Which was inescapable
and VERY LOUD. And had a limited selection. And was ALWAYS ON, ALWAYS,
playing the SAME FUCKING AMERICAN TOP 40 HITS OF 1973 inlcluding David
Bowie, that utterly Pink band America, and Don McLean. Whenever I hear
"A Horse With No Name" or that god damn American Pie song I have post
traumatic flshbacks like a VietNam vet, only instead of ducking under a
table and pulling the pin on a grenade, if I hear those songs I start
uncontrollably SHITTING, flying around the room like a rocket,
propelled by high-speed psychosomatically induced diarrhea.

Get well sooN! And don't ever play "Bye Bye Miss American Pie" when I'm
around.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
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Subject: Re: Why do they say...
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

Hmm... the Madonna version of "American Pie" seems to have the same
effect--only it strikes hundreds at a time, not just the random
victim.

--
"There is no nu-monet. There is only Zuul."

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Original file name: Why do they say... - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:30