SO, YOU THINK YOU'RE ALREADY A SAVED SUBGENIUS, FULLY PREPARED TO PLUNGE ON INTO THE WEB PALACE OF DOBBS?

You really DARE to venture DEEPER, EVER DEEPER into
THE ONLINE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL?

Are you sure? Do you have what it takes?

OPEN THE GATES OF PARADISE
Roll aside the stone, enter the Mouth of the DobbSpider and descend into the very Bowels of the Web!
DO YOU SUSPECT YOU MIGHT NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS, FIRST?

#1. Everything is explained in
SUBGENIUS PAMPHLET NUMBER 1

OR TRY:

ETERNAL SALVATION
or Triple Your Money Back

OR:
The E-Z Quick-Implant BrainWipe


"Bob's" Slacktime Funhouse

Downloadable death-games, gimmicks, gizmos, screensavers, movies, viruses and other SubGenius-customized programs!

Short Duration OnLine Marriage!

Are you AWARE how little time remains before THE RUPTURE on X-DAY?? (HINT: you'll need Java capability to see this, elsewise don't bother.)

IMPORTANT CHURCH NEWS and SHORTCUTS to the NEWLY-ADDED STUFF on THIS WEBSITE!

The Holy SubGenius Digest Slackmail Archives
Thousands of years ago, before even alt.slack had evolved, there lived on this earth a SubGenius bbs originating at M.I.T.'s Artificial Intelligence lab in Boston. These are the fossil remnants left by those long-extinct SubGeniuses.

YOU CAN'T GO HERE.

OUR CURRENT STATE OF UPHEAVAL IS NO CONCERN OF YOURS
This web palace will always be "under contruction," for ever, and ever, and ever. We appreciate your inconvenience, your suffering, your impatience and rage. "Live it, or live with it."
-- The Firesign Theater

THE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL: ONLINE
Address all correspondence, submissions, supplications, prayer requests and donations to The SubGenius Foundation, Inc., PO Box 140306, Dallas, Texas, USA 75214; e-mail slack@subgenius.com; fax 214-320-1561. We are irresponsible with unsolicited contributions. If you have a question about our mail order service, email JESUS at slack@subgenius.com or fax Him at (214)324-0993. Or call toll free, 1-888-669-2323. DEALERS PLEASE INQUIRE FOR BULK RATES. Subscribers must inform this office of any change of address; failure to do so jeopardizes the subscriber's sole chance for Transfiguration and planetary escape on July 5, 1998.

Printed on electrons hand-picked by monks from the atom fields of Dobbstown, Maylasia, using recycled brain cells and serotonin donated by the faithful. Purchase price will be completely refunded without question should eternal damnation result from the reading of this web site. Any similarity between people and places in fiction and semifiction, and any real people or places, is purely coincidental. All models are over 18 years old.

Beware of lame imitations. So-called "SubGenius" or "Dobbs Approved" products by other manufacturers are not necessarily sanctioned by, nor representative of, this, the only legally incorporated seat of Dobbs' earthly kingdom and sole Called Bearers of The Covenant Trademark. Beware of possible counterfeits or Prankster Versions of SubGenius Foundation output. If your FISTfiles don't originate from sunsite.unc.edu, www.subgenius.com, slack@subgenius.com or i.stang@subgenius.com, they may have been tampered with to make us look even worse than we really are. But then, that may be true even if they DO originate at i.stang@subgenius.com, slack@subgenius.com or sunsite.unc.edu.

The essential SubGenius teachings are encapsulated in THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS (ISBN number 0-671-63810-6) and in REVELATION X -- THE "BOB"APOCRYPHON (ISBN # 0-671-77006-3), Fireside Books trade paperbacks published by Simon & Schuster. See the flipside of this Web site for catalog of other Church products including audio and video tapes, wearing apparel, and protective devices ("PRICELIST OF THE GODS").

THE STARK FIST is a product of the Church of the SubGenius official Dallas headquarters and public outreach arm, The SubGenius Foundation, Inc., and specifically of the First Orthodox Stangian MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected, and of contributing True Apostles of the Dobbs of other denominations.

Borders: Rev. Friday Jones! Spider: Hal Robins! BobShot: Fernandinande! Logos by Stang.

COPYRIGHT © 1995, 1996, 1997 by The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. All rights reserved. The Graven Image of "Bob" Dobbs' Face is a registered trademark of The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. (FIST8)

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