Pamphlet #1 - page 10 The most frequently indulged of these Activities is "GOBBING ON LIFE, "opposite from yet similar to the ritual "Massing Around" of Them. Like the ancient alchemists in search of their alleged Philosopher's Stone, he is merely gobbing, trying to 'get by' with as little effort and as well-greased mistakes as possible on the Path of Least Resistance. Often misconstrued as a totally unconstructive, slothful lifestyle, it is actually a Holy Grailoid 'Ion Quest' for the sacred principle of Something for Nothing - he is, in effect, trying to become a perpetual motion machine, fueled only by the welfare of the State which he considers merely a phantasm, another illusion in this vale of nonexistent material things. If nothing else, he at least becomes an expert Floorsleeper and Tubemaster. A rich or else industrious spouse is a welcome partner on this sacred road, a favorite of Rewardians who seek timelessly to reward themselves for things they are "about to do."

Emergentiles, on the other hand (the Left, symbollically), follow closer the splayyed footsteps of "Bob" by striving for a pure state of Anarcho-Materialism in their lives. DEVOtional Coveting is the 'yoga' of the Anarcapitalist. Swimming upstream. "At all times there is an emergency to be dealt with." Always punishing themselves for acts they'll commit later, it is like wading uphill through mud, desperately hacking out with a broken machete little short-lived clearings of Slack in the ever-regenerating social swamp. Working, in effect, until it's too late to stop working. Adopting some S.C.A.M. (SubGenius Confidence Anarchomaterialization) or Caper, he sets out to collect, for the Church of his own heart, Dues, Tithes and Indulgences. What 'business' or 'maneuver' he cloaks this activity in has no importance to Jehovah; He is an economic god, and demands Returns. For His prophits, He grants Vestments and Wages of Sin; and, while His servants are indentured, they reap what they sow an thousandfold. "It is as easy for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven as for a needle to pass through the Camera's Eye. Who cares? Everybody's trying to buy property in Hell." - Dobbs, 1961 (Howard Hughes, now a lama in Tibet, was an Emergentile SubGenius before going Rogue Rewardian.) "Keep your ads up."
Other SubGeniuses may demand an erotically sinspiring slap in the faith and choose to further Hilariate themselves by turning inwards, retrieving sweaty reincarnality from the Archives and erasing their Function-Schemes. Various methods of deprogramming the ldge are available, many of them also compulsory, and by exploring undiscovered moods, probing pet phobias, editing the memory through Negative Cutting, Synapse Conforming, Brainwatching and Sacramentality through chemistry, the eager SubGenius explodes forth into a virtual Hiroshima of visions, prophecies, Seizures, Emaculations, speaking in Slangs, blanking off, slinging Slongs and trancing out.