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| $17.50 | The Stark Fist of Removal (1982)
in book form with many new extras |
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This is the first of many planned special reprints of the Church of the SubGenius "newsletters" of the 1980s, zines which grew to book-sized journals of over 100 pages. This particular issue, "Number 39 Volume 17," was the third one published by the modern SubGenius Foundation under Sacred Scribe Ivan Stang and OverMan Dr. Philo Drummond. It was the first one in 8 1/2" x 11" format, and all that followed were that size. It's an excellent example of the frenzied creativity afflicting the early SubGeniuses.
Introducing the 'zine reprint are some pertinent sections from the 1982 section of Stang's SubGenius History Online Class, sponsored by Maybe Logic Academy (a Robert Anton Wilson-inspired project). These include a brutally frank essay by Stang describing the pressures that were building up in the third year of the SubGenius public outreach, and a month-by-month breakdown of the frenetic SubGenius real-world activity of 1982. STARK FISTS always included written rants, graphics, comics, "historical essays," graphic Proof of "Bob," and extremely detailed reports on live SubGenius events, in this case the First World SubGenius Convention in Dallas. The Church was new then, to the public at least, and those who became involved had the fire in the belly. In some ways the Church was at its best when its called ministers were mostly young and struggling the hardest in their day jobs, marriages, dating life, etc. Artists, writers, musicians and preachers who contributed to this issue included, among others, co-sub-founders Ivan Stang and Philo Drummond, Hellswami Satellite Weavers, Rev. Byron Werner, Puzzling Evidence, Paul Mavrides, Carol Lay, Mark Mothersbaugh, David Martin, G. Gordon Gordon, the late Gerry Reith, Terry Beatty, Savage Pencil, Drs. 4 "Bob," Pope Sternodox Keckhaver, Pope David N. Meyer, Kerry Thornley, the late David Boone, and Don Trubey. 72 pages, 8.5" x 11" paperback. ALL COPIES BOUGHT HERE ARE SIGNED AND DATED BY REV. IVAN STANG. $17.50 USA delivery: ($17.50 + $7.25 shipping) International - Outside USA ($17.50 + $25 shipping) |
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THE LAST SURVIVORS, a comic book by Rev. Ivan Stang!
| ONLY $149.95!! | MIRACLE DOBBSHEAD TOASTER! | |
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What was our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ talking about? THIS! Yes, the sacred thrice-blessed SUBGENIUS TOASTER will convert any normal bread into a holy sacrament. Better than a host from the hand of a Pope! Harness the lightning to brand the face of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs into your breakfast. Best thing since sliced bread!
Be at One With Dobbs In Your Mouth! LOOK AT (AND EAT) THAT FACE!! Haven't you always wanted to use a knife to spread butter or jam on the face of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs? Go on... take a nibble of the Saint of Sales. Mmmmmm... Use it for Communion with the Holy Face. Get Head For Breakfast! He won't stop smiling as you chow down. That's how you "know." Stab it - cut it - cover it up - gnaw on it - then make another. Never gets old. Every flavor: ShorDurPerSavory and ShorDurPerSweet. Military grade, halal AND kosher toast is yours with a single flick of the wrist. Eliminate your embarrassing non-toasted bread problem. You'll wonder how you got along without it. GET LAID or cry trying! (SUBGENIUS BOYS -- DON'T STICK YOUR DICK(S) IN IT - stick THEIR dick in it, for a laugh!) One lucky lottery winner took home ten thousand dollars. It wasn't you - THIS TIME. Odds are this toaster will change things for you one way or another. DON'T TEMPT FATE - TEMPT ETERNITY! Put some fucking bread in it and press the god damn button, you jackass! Your parents would have loved you if you'd had this toaster, but it's not too late. Join the NFT craze with this NEW FUCKING TOASTER. At last you can justify your existence as "the one who bought this toaster." DON'T BE USELESS AND LIE TO YOURSELF ANY LONGER. IT'S ELECTRIC!! Makes Toast Taste Better! Take it to the bathtub with you for that Last Breakfast. Causes Baldness IF YOU WANT IT! Made with quantums -- do your part for climate change with this toaster! Limited edition! Includes authentic original shipping container and packing materials. Limit one per customer... if you're a punk. If you're COOL you'll buy them ALL. The novelty toaster company that used to make and sell them folded, and (thanks to the great documentary film director Sandy Boone!) we ended up with their leftover Dobbs toasters. THESE THIRTY ARE THE VERY LAST AND ONLY ONES. Doctor appointments for grandma or this toaster - IS IT EVEN A QUESTION? Works pretty good! Might last a little while. "I'm about to loose my god-damn mind thinking about this toast. JOIN ME." -- Onan Canobite [Mar 9, 2023 at 5:58:03 PM]
*Foretold in the prophecy of the flying toaster screen saver, if you're old. **Small, medium and large are all the same price. No extra fee for change of size. |
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| $19.63 | JAILBIRD - The Dreadlock Recollections
by Kerry Wendell Thornley |
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"At the risk of sounding paranoid, I don't think it is a coincidence that I am famous only among conspiracies." -- Kerry W. Thornley
First time in print, with an introduction by Reverend Ivan Stang of The Church of the SubGenius. The complete confessions of Kerry Wendell Thornley, co-founder of The Discordian Society, to his role as second-patsy in the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Some know Kerry Thornley as the witty co-author of The Principia Discordia, the 'bible' of the Discordian faith, a noble predecessor of The Church of the SubGenius -- to which Thornley was also a contributor. He is known as well for more serious endeavors, such as his novel The Idle Warriors, and for having to defend himself against accusations of involvement in the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. This book is a compilation of his written memoirs concerning his many conversations with two men that he was later convinced were indeed directly involved in the murder of JFK. Includes an appendix of miscellaneous funny Thornley rants, and a very detailed index. "I dig the SubGeniuses because, like them, my IQ is also below genius. So, in spite of my disagreements with them, the world looks to me just as bewildering and frightening as it looks to them. Probably, there are Discordians who feel every which way about everything, including "Bob" Dobbs." -- Kerry W. Thornley 326 pages, 6x9" paperback. ALL COPIES BOUGHT HERE ARE SIGNED AND DATED BY REV. IVAN STANG. $19.63 |
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| $16.00 | THE AGENT AND MR. DOBBS and THE AGENT GOES TO DOBBSTOWN by Rev. Teeters LaVerge |
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NEW SUBGENIUS NOVEL(s)! Two brain-gnarling spy thriller mystery novellas starring J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. In the early 1960s, an earnest, patriotic and Pink agent for the Feds is assigned to the seriously insane national security case of "Bob" Dobbs. He is drawn by Dobbs down a rabbit hole that turns into a wormhole of 'Frop madness, surreal sex with Connie, Bigfoot and Greys, bizarre parties with JFK, Hitler, Lee Harvey Oswald, Fidel Castro, Nikita Khrushchev, and Timothy Leary... and unspeakable experiences that make him question what he had mistakenly thought of as reality. It's like H. P. Lovecraft by way of Raymond Chandler by way of R. Crumb. Like a David Lynch movie with a dollop of The Three Stooges. Like a Bugs Bunny cartoon guest-directed by David Cronenberg. Like an S. Clay Wilson comic novelized by Franz Kafka. "I've written two SubGenius movie screenplays. But if some Hollywood hotshot approached me saying, "I've got a hundred million dollars for a big SubGenius movie. Do you have a script?" -- I would hand them this book. It is F**KING HILARIOUS and my very favorite portrait of 'Bob' so far. Let us just pray that it is indeed fiction." -- Rev. Ivan Stang The foreword is signed and dated by Ivan Stang. $16 |
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| $17.95 | Eyelash by Rev. Nikolai Kingsley | |
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THE FIRST SUBGENIUS SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL! He swore he'd never deal with the aliens again, but here he was, letting them beam him onboard... He promised that whatever they were planning he'd keep Tai out of it, but here she was, on the bridge... What were the Xists trying to hide that was worse than Soul Harvesting and interstellar drug running, and why were they being so nice to him... at first? WHAT IN THE NAME OF SLACK HAD J. R. "BOB" DOBBS GOTTEN HIM INTO?!? A tale of paranoia, misdirection, outright lies, extremely angry robots and purple-haired elf girls, set in the richly detailed mythos of The Church of the SubGenius. GUARANTEED DOCTRINALLY CORRECT "Kingsley's writing easily equals that of the giants on whose shoulders we crouch, holding on for dear life with white knuckles to the oversized weave of their immense dandruff-dusted sweaters while they stride about their titanic world." -- Rev. Ivan Stang (Amazon also sells it, with a free preview of the first chapter. But Rev. Kingsley and the Church make more when you buy it from us.) 231-page trade paperback $17.95 |
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J. R. "BOB" DOBBS BANDANAS and T-Shirts!
Now they double as FERTILITY FACE MASKS!
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"BOB" BANDANA / FERTILITY MASK
Full True Dobbshead on high quality 100% cotton cloth bandana, 21 x 21 inches square. To use as a mask, simply fold in half and tie the corners behind your head. ONLY $12.99 |
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They will never guess who it is chanting "Bob" "Bob" "Bob"! Why, it's the next best thing to skinning Dobbs himself! Generate your own PreScriptures with every utterance! Prank the superstitious -- they'll think you ARE "Bob"! Pull it up all the way over your face in the car, and let "Bob" drive for you! Guaranteed results! (Perfectly legal in all "non smoking" areas -- yet includes pipe!) Not known to prevent or cause a god damned thing!* BUY SEVEN! "They'll pay to pull the wool over their own face." -- Father "Papa" Joe Mama NOW AVAILABLE IN 6 COLORS!    |
Black bandana shown with Pleated Fold, held on with elastic hair ties. (Click here for Pleated Fold instructions) 
