HOLY SHIT!!
   Thousands of pilgrims are flocking to upper New York State to view this likeness of Jesus Christ which mysteriously appeared on several sheets of bathroom tissue.
Mrs. Georgia Logsdon claims that the likeness of Christ appeared while she was suffering from a severe case of intestinal influenza.
"I had been sick for days", Mrs. Logsdon recounts, "And I had spent most of my time in the bathroom."
"After one of my particularly violent bowel movements, I prayed to Jesus that I would get over this malady quickly. In the process of cleaning myself, I noticed that a section of the soiled sheets bore a striking resemblance to Jesus. I knew then that my prayers had been answered."
Mrs. Logsdon reports that upon gazing at the visage of Christ, her intestinal problems abruptly ceased. The healing power of the mysterious image in not limited to Mrs. Logsdon. Her husband, Edward, also claims of being relieved of hemhorroid pain after seeing the tissue. A neighbor, Viola Henderson, states that her dog, Speezo, was cured of ringworm after he sniffed the image.