Are YOU WINO Material?

" I went to college for 10 years to get my PhD. in 8th century European flower pots.
After graduating I found out my degree
would get me a position as a boxboy at K-Mart.
So I decided to put my education to work
in the service of my country.
I decided to join the WINOS.
They trained me in wood alcohol filtration
and advanced panhandling tactics. It's been an experience I wouldn't trade for anything...
except a warm pair of socks."

-- Master Sergeant "Sterno Sucker" Campbell --
United States Wino Corps

It takes a special breeed of person to be a WINO.
It takes someone with the guts to lay it on the line and who has the will to survive.

As a WINO recruit, we'll train you to build a home of egg crates, how to gargle Sterno and what sort of anti-freeze goes with veal.

We'll give you every skill you need to be one of America's Proud Tradition...
The WINOS

Sure, not everyone who joins has what it takes to be a WINO.
It takes a special sort of person...
Maybe someone like you.
See your WINO recruiter today!

THE FEW, THE PROUD, THE WINOS

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