There was all this art stacking up around here. In a Herculean effort I shoveled it all to SubSITE. (There is now an equal amount unshoveled, already stacked up, currently out back with the firewood. Hope it don't rain.)
But I had not loved the new text. No, I did not show it love. A few hundred worthy examples of the keypecker's art have languished here since OCTOBER!! (And there's actually quite a gigantic load from way back in 1995 that's gone unprepped, and should probably stay that way.) Doc Dynasavage has also been judiciously culling alt.slack, and had fertilized quite a few seeds which I had yet to plant!
So, you WORD lovers have GOT your damned text now! Damn ya! A pretty good start on it, anyway. More than anyone will ever READ, anyway. Some of it I can't wait to read PROPERLY myself. Some of it is el stupificante, if you know what I mean. For instance, in the new TALES OF "BOB" section is the SICKEST short story about the evil Palmer Vreedeez, by John Shirley. The Hall of Science offers a frightening new look at the Yeti by Prof. Lycanthrope. The Hall of Bulldada has some new Kook Love, and the Hall of Evils has New Kook Hate.
There's still PLENTY MORE TO GO, but as usual, the easiest way to skip the OLD stuff is to go straight to the UPDATES page, now linked from the "HOTBOB" button on page One or like this:
Other key indexes chock full of new MENTALLY DERANGED SCIENCE, PORN and RELIGION to read:
And if you get confused, the main text index is, as always:
or in a different format,
My Mind Is No Longer My Friend.
And I Have A Terrible Ear-Ache
And I Have Gotten Way Too Much Email to Handle This Week So If I Appear to Be Ignoring You, I Probably Am, But It Is So That Others May Live
514 days to X-Day. 514 days. Oh lordy, lordy, why must Pa Time be so miserly in his Doling?
Huhn. The doctor's nurse just called and said it sounded like I had an ear infection so she's gonna put me on antibiotics. GREAT!!! Guess I better eat about 18 godzillion ACIDOPHOLUS PILLS to counteract the CON MEDS!! And the nurse told me to remove the piece of onion from my ear. Said that was an old wive's tale. I am going to keep the onion but I will also take the Con Meds. Better safe than sorry. Good. Good. This gets me out of having to cook dinner. I can clean up subsite remnants and finally get on to that DREAM I've had for weeks now, of FUCKING AROUND AGAIN WITH ALL THE NEW ART PROGRAMS I MANAGED TO STEAL. Or at least I can dump enough used data files off my main drive onto back-ups so as to be able to THINK about it.
Three years ago I never would have believed ANY of this would be happening. (Especially not for so little PAY!!!) Certainly not the FUCKING EAR ACHE!!!
Somebody asked on the IRC Devival what MATERIAL DONATIONS the Church was in most dire need of right now.
Well right off the bat I can tell you we MOST need a
'97 Chevy Silverado Pick-Up with Extended Cab... preferably BLACK
Short of that we always need AUDIO CASSETTE AND VIDEO CASSETTE DECKS, but ONLY if they are in EXCELLENT WORKING ORDER. We already have HUNDREDS of ones that ALMOST work right.
Hour of Slack listeners will agree that we need a decent microphone. I can promise you that Jesus needs a 28.8 modem, more RAM, a Jaz or Zip drive, and for that matter, He could really use a plain old CD player and/or boom box. Jesus maintains his office on a PC.
For that matter, while we're at it, I'm gonna have to get a Jaz drive and another 32 megs of RAM no matter what. I can stave it off, however. My gear is all Macintosh OS.
All of these goodies can be bought by us with MONEY, which is why we SELL PHYSICAL OBJECTS through the mail. I cannot say enough about our lovely new keychains and clocks. Not to mention that matched set of Dobbs Mug Mugs, now on sale. Just think. Be the first on your block.
I will admit that, GIVEN the money, we might well spend it on food or Frappy instead of the gear, but either way, just think how good you'll feel inside. I'd feel good inside if I had some damn MORPHINE!!! Or at least some of the GOOD Pils!! Not the BAD PILS like the kind that JONES had, when she climbed up the flagpole outside the sherriff's and tried to marry it before they pulled her inside and called her Ma. She wouldna HAD those Pils to TAKE in the FIRST place if Smith hadn't of chewed up his Nicodemon patches while they were still stuck on his arm.
Anyway, check out some of those old new Tales n Gags on SubSITE. I did see and heed the several suggestions made re: insane links that plunged the visitor into random pages, ROTATING LINKS, etc. Well, we're trying to figure out how to automate all manner of things on that damned website. There is one major technical question that should be resolved soon which may change things considerably and allow way more interactivity. This MAY however involve THE CHURCH FOOTING THE BILL so if you think THIS was a pathetic money-wheedling whine, wait'll next week or next month. To destroy the CONCEPT of money, well... you know the drill.
The maddening random pages and rotating links have already been tested, in fact, by Dr. Philo Drummond at www.corpses.com... The Swingin Love Corpses website is designed from the ground up to break all the main rules of Proper HTML Design. You can actually count one rule after another being deliberately broken. Only and OverMan can pull off shit like that, though.
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Original file name: 2-6-97SubSITE text done
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