Re: Letter to the President - It needed to be said

From: <bbombere@erols.com>
Newsgroups: alt.politics,alt.sex,alt.binaries.slack,alt.gothic

> > > In article <36B86FDF.E550D20E@subgenius.com>, SiS D
> > > <decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > > Paul Roe wrote:
> > >
> > > I was listening to a radio talk show the other night and the host made
> > > an interesting observation:
> > >
> > > Only about once every other generation does a leader appear who so
> > > totally mesmerizes his populace that they gladly swallow whatever he
> > > puts forth, no matter how flawed or corrupt he is personally.
> > > The last one was Hitler.
> >
> > I swallowed nothing from him...that was Monica. I don't care either
> > way about him, but I certainly disagree with what that woman said. What
> > someone does with their genitals is THEIR business and they shouldn't be
> > fired for being backed into a corner to lie about it. And as for being
> > flawed personally....morals are per individual, not per nation.
>
> There's a funny bit in The Onion about the Senate has summoned
> Monica to re-blow Bill so they can better judge exactly what happened.
> Sounds good to me!

That's the video they'll air on CNN. Those Waskally Wepublicans!

RP

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Poindexter" <poindexter@subgenius.com>

In article <36B9BC02.81A7CF35@subgenius.com>, SiS D
<decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Ya gots a point there. Too bad he was put in a position to LIE about
> his PRIVATE life. I'd lie too.

And YOU would be in jail right now for it. My point.

RP

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: shaund@aa.net (Shaun Patrick Darragh)

Bullshit. There is not a sane prosecutor in this country who would
profer charges based on the *evidence* that has been demonstrated in
this case.

Shaun

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

Bullshit back - a coupla weeks ago the pink paper
(RM News) published a list of cases where people
had been jailed for lying in sexual harassment
cases - and perjury is one of the more common
reasons why fed judges are impeached.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Adam Russell" <adamrussell@email.msn.com>

I think if you look at those cases you will find that the lies that were
told in those cases were relevant to the harrassment case. I don't think
you can cite a single case where a lie told that was irrelevant was used to
prosecute a perjury case.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>

At this point in the bullshitting, I don' t know to whom I'm saying it to,
but BULLSHIT. I don't think it's a simple matter of whether Clinton told the
truth in the Jones trial. That happened IN CONTEXT. It was not like any
other court proceeding in which Joe Blow is having to defend himself against
charges brought by another civil litigant. It was not a run-of-the-mill
civil action, in which a defendant's not telling the truth would be a
violation of the plaintiff's right to a just outcome. The Paula Jones trial
was a flimsy cover for the right-wing, radical Christian zealots who had
been dogging Clinton long before he was elected and continued to go after
him relentlessly through all of the years of his presidency. Now, while I am
no great admirer of Clinton, who undoubtedly has many of the attributes that
all ambitious politicians are made of, when he was deposed in the Jones
case, he KNEW he was no longer defending himself against just the Paula
Jone's accusation, but against the lynch mob that had been out to get him
since day-one and that they now had something real, thanks to Linda Tripp
and her co-conpirator, Ken Starr, (and his own randy pecker) to get him
with. So it was NEVER just another example of a person not telling the truth
under oath during a court proceeding. There was a power struggle of
monumental proportion going on when Clinton tried as deftly as he could to
skirt the truth. It was his move of a chess piece on the giant board of
opposing political ideologies and grabs for power. It had nothing to do with
Paula Jones, and anyone who compares the Paula Jones trial to any other
trial brought on similar grounds and judges Clinton accordingly, has his/her
head tucked firmly up his/her ass. Whatever your political persuasion, put
yourself in Clinton's place at the moment it got through to him that the
enemies who were out to crucify him had got hold of something with which
they could hang him out to dry. What would you do? Surrender or fight back?
I, for one, would fight back. I would not serve myself up to the people who
wanted my head on a platter. I'd do my damndest to deny them their feast,
even if that meant taking the most nitpicking approach I could to the issue
of perjury. You may not like Clinton, but the one thing that you'll have to
give him is that he is ONE HELL OF A FIGHTER. He may have been a draft
dodger, but I doubt there are many among us who would have the courage, the
balls, to stand up to the barrage of enemy missiles that have been fired at
him and KEEP ON COMING. In my opinion, he's one of the ballsiest people in
the world. (Maybe that's why he's got to get a little periodic sexual
relief.) Think about it, they throw everything they've got in their arsenal
at him, but when the smoke clears, two Republican House leaders have bitten
the dust, and he's the most popular second-term President ever. No wonder
they call him the come-back kid. He never gives up in a fight.

Don

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Thoughts@police.gov (The Thought Police)

Hey Don, it's really great how you take Clinton's case and make it
*completely* different than *any other case*.

You're RIGHT. The fact that the emperor was on trial, and his accusers
were just the right-wing radical Christian Zealots makes his lying
under oath TOTALLY IRRELEVANT. Thanks for clearing that up.

> . . . . Now, while I am
>no great admirer of Clinton, who undoubtedly has many of the attributes that
>all ambitious politicians are made of, when he was deposed in the Jones
>case, he KNEW he was no longer defending himself against just the Paula
>Jone's accusation, but against the lynch mob that had been out to get him
>since day-one and that they now had something real, thanks to Linda Tripp
>and her co-conpirator, Ken Starr, (and his own randy pecker) to get him
>with.

So he should be judged under a different set of rules than anyone
else? Bullshit, Don, and you know it. Any other person would be hung
out to dry, and so should Billy.

> So it was NEVER just another example of a person not telling the truth
>under oath during a court proceeding. There was a power struggle of
>monumental proportion going on when Clinton tried as deftly as he could to
>skirt the truth. It was his move of a chess piece on the giant board of
>opposing political ideologies and grabs for power.

Right. No argument there. He still lied and got caught. Move on.

> . . . It had nothing to do with
>Paula Jones, and anyone who compares the Paula Jones trial to any other
>trial brought on similar grounds and judges Clinton accordingly, has his/her
>head tucked firmly up his/her ass. Whatever your political persuasion, put
>yourself in Clinton's place at the moment it got through to him that the
>enemies who were out to crucify him had got hold of something with which
>they could hang him out to dry. What would you do? Surrender or fight back?
>I, for one, would fight back. I would not serve myself up to the people who
>wanted my head on a platter.

And if *you* did what *Billy* did, we'd be viewing your Creepy
pictures from where you posted them - at the prison library, on a
donated 486.

> I'd do my damndest to deny them their feast,
>even if that meant taking the most nitpicking approach I could to the issue
>of perjury. You may not like Clinton, but the one thing that you'll have to
>give him is that he is ONE HELL OF A FIGHTER. He may have been a draft
>dodger, but I doubt there are many among us who would have the courage, the
>balls, to stand up to the barrage of enemy missiles that have been fired at
>him and KEEP ON COMING.

BWAHAHAHAHA!! Good one, Don. The fact that he thinks he can
lie and put whatever spin on it he wants speaks volumes about the
man's disdain for the people of this country. HE THINKS HE'S SMARTER
THAN EVERYONE ELSE. Ken Starr is smarter, Billy's just finding that
out now.

> In my opinion, he's one of the ballsiest people in
>the world. (Maybe that's why he's got to get a little periodic sexual
>relief.) Think about it, they throw everything they've got in their arsenal
>at him, but when the smoke clears, two Republican House leaders have bitten
>the dust, and he's the most popular second-term President ever. No wonder
>they call him the come-back kid. He never gives up in a fight.

Don, he hasn't fought *yet*. Putting a new spin on old news every week
is not "fighting". He just considers the truth to be in a constant
state of flux. It's okay to lie to the American People becuz the
ideals Billy and his cohorts hold dear ARE GOOD AND RIGHTEOUS.
Like the roadblocks "they" were doing in Michigan, looking for guns
and drugs - Billy said "Sometimes individual freedoms have to be put
aside for the good of Society at large."

That one statement proved to me this dangerous man should be
taken down ANY WAY POSSIBLE - including a trumped up charge
that ANY OTHER AMERICAN would wind up in jail for.

Fuck 'im if he can't take a joke.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>

SO, to those of you who say that it wasn't about sex, you're right. But it
wasn't about lying under oath, corrupting witnesses, impeding justice, or
any of those things, either. That's all smoke put out there by
slight-of-hand artists to get people to look over here, while, over there,
they're slippin' one on past you. What it's all about, what it's always been
all about, is POLITICS and POWER, and, if that hasn't gotten through to you
watching the House proceedings and much of what has gone on in the Senate,
then I want you as one of my rubes the next time I'm motivated to something
over.

That is, PUT something over--stick it to you, bamboozle your ass, get your
vote, sell you something you don't need and can't afford, make you march to
the tune of my drummer, convince you that you're seeing something you ain't
and not seeing something you are, and so on and so on and so on. That is,
when I want to Bob Dobbs you.

Don

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: poindexter@subgenius.com (Rev. Poindexter incognito)

In article <36ba93fb.11076821@news.aa.net>, shaund@aa.net (Shaun Patrick
Darragh) wrote:
>
> Bullshit. There is not a sane prosecutor in this country who would
> profer charges based on the *evidence* that has been demonstrated in
> this case.

Tell that to the 150 or so current occupants of various prisons serving
time for perjury.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (Mshotz)

>>Only about once every other generation does a leader appear who so
totally mesmerizes his populace that they gladly swallow whatever he
puts forth, no matter how flawed or corrupt he is personally.
The last one was Hitler.<<
Ronald Reagan!? He was also the last president ot Dodge the draft! During WW II
he trough the Studio he was under contract to arranged for him to be commission
into teh Special Service Corp. he had a rank of Captain was was allowed to keep
his studio pay.

While my dad and Uncles were fighting (and dieing as well as loosing a couple
of limbs) Ronnie was in Hollywood knocking his girl freind nancy up!

I'd rather had slick willy in the the GOP Moral Brigade! Can you imagine Jerry
Farwell being a special advisor to teh president!?

Look the agenda of the "NEW" Gop, I'll never vote for another Republicain as
long as the religous right controls the party.

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"The Enemy is at the gates! And the enemy is the Human Mind itself, or lack of
it, on this planet!"

General Boy

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: adddesign@interaccess.com (Jeff/addesign)

RR was 4F because of his poor vision, but nevertheless enlisted and
donned a uniform to serve in a public relations capacity for the armed
services.

Jeff/addesign a.a #1063
****************************************************************
Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum--Lucretius, 1st c. BC
"So vast is the sum of the iniquities that religion has induced."
****************************************************************

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindXspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)
On Thu, 04 Feb 1999 08:21:13 -0500, poindexter@subgenius.com (Rev. Poindexter incognito) expounded:

<In article <36b959cd.7365717@news.evansville.net>, Dranrak@evansville.net
<(Dr.Anrak@Theoffice.mom) wrote:
<
<> >Only about once every other generation does a leader appear who so
<> >totally mesmerizes his populace that they gladly swallow whatever he
<> >puts forth, no matter how flawed or corrupt he is personally.
<> >The last one was Hitler.
<> >
<> And the next one was Reagan...
<
<That was an entirely too predictable response...
<
<RP

But isn't the socialists' mindlesskneejerkpredictability one
of their few endearing qualities? It's just so cuuuute...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Dranrak@evansville.net (Dr.Anrak@Theoffice.mom)

Blah..Blah..Etc...Etc...
>
>But isn't the socialists' mindlesskneejerkpredictability one
>of their few endearing qualities? It's just so cuuuute...
>
Ok, this shit I've had about enough of. Unlock your step, Turn down
the volume on that G. Gordon Limbaugh show, and think for a second...

Point the first:

However Republican you may be, you can't possibly be blind to
the fact that Regan was the most perfectly designed ConMedia tool in
the history of ConMedia. He was propped up in front of the telescreen
every week to parrot whatever the MilitaryIndustrialConPlex needed
said at the moment, from we're not killing innocents in South America
to We never sold bombs/rockets/guns to mad Arabs who then used them to
blow American Marines out the side of a hotel in Beirut. If you were
alive in the 80's you can't help but remember the stench of Falwell,
North and Bush crowded together in Ronnies' Controll Room fighting
over the various buttons.

Point the second:

Why is it that anyone who breaks ranks even slightly from the
good ol PartyLine(tm) just HAS to be a
commieliberalhomodrugaddictedsatanwoshipin'hippyfreak? isn't it
possible that, no matter how strange the idea may sound, no matter how
odd the concept, no matter how much room it might take to fit such a
BoBdamned idea into a head, isn't it just possible for someone to be
conservative and (gasp!) Not swallow every bit of the right-wing line?
Even to the point of (no, he couldn't...not that) not idolizing every
aging warmonger the Party allows us to think we want to vote for?

Point the third:

What's all this crap about flogging Clinton for lying? LYING
IS NOT AN IMPEACHABLE OFFENCE!!!!! READ THE BoB-DAMNED CONSTITUTION!!!
YOU CAN ONLY IMPEACH A PRESIDENT FOR TREASON OR SEDITION!!!!! Now,
that said, He's a fucker, and will definatly get his in court after
he's out of office, but there are no grounds for removing him from
office at all. If there were, however, wouldn't they have something
to do with his corrupting the Secret Service into lying for him? Am I
the only one who noticed that the SS has been tainted? Am I the only
one frightened by that?

Y'all been smoking too little 'frappy... you seem to be
missing an awfull lot of reality. AND I'M NO COMMIE! THE MONEY THAT
PAID FOR MY SEAT ON THE SAUCERS WAS GREEN AND AMERICAN BOBDAMNIT!
Holy name of Nickalaus, it's gettin' so's a Yeti can't even spew bile
anymore without some Filthy Pink-Livered PilHead blasting out about
failure to conform to RushThinkPolDoctrine anymore...

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Ask me about
HungerFood!
It's Nutritionless-
Riffic!
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

On Fri, 05 Feb 1999 08:37:57 GMT, Dranrak@evansville.net (Dr.Anrak@Theoffice.mom) expounded:

< However Republican you may be, you can't possibly be blind to
<the fact that Regan was the most perfectly designed ConMedia tool in
<the history of ConMedia. He was propped up in front of the telescreen
<every week to parrot whatever the MilitaryIndustrialConPlex needed
<said at the moment, from we're not killing innocents in South America

Turns out the people that Reagan supported and now being elected
in Central America, so rather than have a socialist police state,
the type Klintoon wants here, the people have their have a
government with some respect for their freedoms.

<to We never sold bombs/rockets/guns to mad Arabs who then used them to
<blow American Marines out the side of a hotel in Beirut. If you were
<alive in the 80's you can't help but remember the stench of Falwell,
<North and Bush crowded together in Ronnies' Controll Room fighting
<over the various buttons.

I'm no fan a Reagan, either (I'm a libertarian - I voted for
Harry Brown for pres last time), but he the dumb stuff he did
wasn't nearly as bad as the dum stuff Klintoon does.

<Point the third:
< What's all this crap about flogging Clinton for lying? LYING
<IS NOT AN IMPEACHABLE OFFENCE!!!!! READ THE BoB-DAMNED CONSTITUTION!!!
<YOU CAN ONLY IMPEACH A PRESIDENT FOR TREASON OR SEDITION!!!!! Now,

Read it yourself, you moron, because it says no such thing - did
you get that bullshit from the teevee or just make it up?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36B9BC96.A3A535E9@subgenius.com>, SiS D
<decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:

> >
> Nothing wrong with draft-dodging if you don't BELIEVE in what the war's
> for. But don't misunderstand all this as a "vote" for Clinton. I don't
> trust or like ANY politicians....they and their system are all
> self-serving.

I'm DEFINITELY with Sis on this one.

Here's my take on it. Keep in mind, I TRIED to dodge the draft in 1973.
(Ended up not having to because I had flat feet.) I inhaled. A FUCK of a
LOT. And I promise I will inhale again.

Also keep in mind that I have been married for 25 years, I have NEVER been
on the dole, I am a small business owner who employs workers, has also
unfortunately had to work in plenty of "regular" jobs, I am a voting, tax
paying citizen whose 2.5 college age kids aren't fucked up and who has an
active social life. I have no police record. I may be a DUMB ASS with
AWFUL TASTE, but that would only make me MORE AVERAGE.

But if I was Clinton, OR ME, and that fine lookin', wide-mouthed little
heiffer was constantly coming on to me, I DOUBLE DOG GUARANTEE YOU that I
would not only sooner or later accept a nice blow job from the consenting
adult babe, but I would, MOREOVER, SPREAD-EAGLE HER FINE ASS ATOP THE OVAL
OFFICE DESK and GIVE HER A GOOD BRUSH-FUCKIN' just like CLEANING A SHOTGUN
BARREL with that WIRE BRUSH! "JOB RELATIONSHIP" BE DAMNED!

And then, when the fucking GOVERNMENT (!) started quizzing me about my
PERSONAL SEX LIFE, like a bunch of god damn RED CHINESE COMMUNIST BUSYBODY
OLD LADIES, I likewise PROMISE that I would LIE MY ASS OFF about it, JUST
ON PRINCIPLE!!

In fact, I DID! I DID fuck Clinton, AND Hillary, AND Monica, AND I LIED
ABOUT IT!! Maybe some of you morally superior people never heard of
SWINGERS. Or PEOPLE WITH GENITALS IN GENERAL for that matter.

But then, I'm a HIPPIE-TYPE, and I kind of hate to see religious nuts make
laws governing my DICK based on ANCIENT TRIBAL FAIRY TALES. I also sorta
thought there was some kind of PRO-PRIVACY thing about our form of
government at one point.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Just because angels only eat vegetables, and demons only
eat angels, that doesn't make angels "good" and demons "bad." It's JUST
NATURE! When a fat old white man fucks a groupie, and then lies his ass
off, it's JUST NATURE!

And it DOES happen, THOUSANDS OF TIMES A DAY in this country alone,
between Republican consenting adults, Democrat Pinko Socialist Commie
consenting adults, and damn near everybody else besides ROSS PEROT and
possibly YOU THE READER! It happens between BOSSES and WORKERS of both
sexes, and the SAME sexes! And MOST of them are having a REAL GOOD TIME AT
IT, with NO REPERCUSSIONS!

If you aren't GETTING ENOUGH, TOO BAD!!! But that doesn't give you the
right to "KENNETH STARR" me, or anybody else! Fucking god damn busybody
PUSSIES. Christian apologist Republican anti-American CHUMPS! AS BAD AS
COMMIES or BAPTISTS!

If you want to NAIL CLINTON, then nail him for a CRIME!

But I guess lying to Big Brother about your private life is crime enough, huh?

Sheeeee-it.

You know what *I* don't like about Clinton??

HE'S WAY TOO FUCKING CONSERVATIVE.

HARRUMPH!!

P.S. I hate Communism more than ANY of you slack-fux, because I had to
WORK in COMMUNIST CHINA! And believe me it's a BILLION TIMES WORSE THAN
YOUR MOST PARANOID RIGHT WING NIGHTMARES!

And this stupid impeachment charade reminds me more of what I've read in
RUSSIAN history and RECENT CHINESE history! It's most un-American fucking
thing I've seen in a WHILE.

"LET'S GET BIG BROTHER OUT OF THE BOARDROOM, AND PUT HIM BACK IN THE
BEDROOM WHERE HE BELONGS!" MY BUTT!!!!

On the other hand, when all's said and done, it's starting to look like
this will probably be the best thing that ever happened to the Democrats.
It'd serve those fundament-kissing Falwellian Orwellian asses right. BOTH
sets of 'em.

THE END TIMES *ARE* A-COMIN' -- and the Pinks ARE a-BUMMIN'!!

P.S.S. Seriously, I don't hold it against any of you poebuckers if you
happen to be what's called "conservative". We patriopsychotic
anarchomaterialists (Ivangelical Free-Frop-and-Sex Branch) BELIEVE in
DIVERSITY. WHOEVER KILLS THE OTHER GUY FIRST, WINS. Every yard a kingdom.
Just as diversity is essential to a biosphere, or porno mag, there MUST
always be liberals and conservative retards to balance each other out.
Certainly, we are in an almost CARTOONISHLY DIVISIVE PERIOD in American
history, which will pass and be considered about as big a deal as the
October Surprise, seeing as how ALL THE PINKNESS WILL BE SCOURED FROM THE
FACE OF THE EARTH BY THE XIST REVENGE SAUCERS, IN 152 DAYS, ON JULY 5 THIS
YEAR! So it's all a moot point. As Chas Smith of Einstein's Secret
Orchestra says: "From space, it all looks like the squabblings of maggots
on a PLUM." Or something like that. My mom and dad and brother and sister
are all flag waving Republicans. I live in Dallas, Texas, the Buckle on
the Bible Belt. My old bud Dr. Philo Drummond is a Rush Limbaugh fan. Papa
Joe Mama makes Rush look like Jane Fonda. I on the other hand would burn
a thousand flags to preserve my right to kill, torture and buttrape a man
who burns a flag.

As long as the great pendulum of History keeps on swinging, and isn't
stuck on ONE SIDE, then that's a GOOD SIGN. The scurrying Earthfools seem
to require these distractions, as they scamper about their silly little
mammalian puppet-acts. (I don't sound like one of those "media elites," do
I?) Trapped, penned in, as they are, in their tiny cage of only three
dimensions, plus TIME... WHAT DO THEY KNOW of TRUE freedom, the freedom to
RIDE THE AKASHIC HURRICANES to the ULTIMATE KNOWLEDGE, hence, finally, and
justifiably, to RULE THE WORLD!!! YES!!! TO RULE THE VERY WORLD! TO MAKE
THE ILLUMINATI CRAWL AT MY FEET!!! TO... oh, excuse me.

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

"Ignoring the shit in this church is like ignoring the sea
when you're stuck on Gilligan's Island."
-- Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>

>But I guess lying to Big Brother about your private life is crime enough,
huh?
>
>Sheeeee-it.

This is the crux of the thing, what people really ought to be concerned
about. Its BIG BROTHER! Cover your asses and head for the hills whenever a
bunch of always-smiling, apple-pie-eatin'/mom-lovin', morally righteous,
flag-waving Asa Hutchinsons, lame-ass, chipmonk-faced assholes like that
rep from Florida, and the rest of the mealy-mouthed crew from the House
start BRAGGING about having been prosecutors and pontificating about the
sanctity of the RULE OF LAW and SERVING JUSTICE. If you don't think your,
common garden variety schmuck can get sucked up, pulverized, and spit out in
bloody pieces by any self-serving, ambitious,
wanting-to-get-his-handsome-smiling-face-in-front- of-a-gullible-public
while wearing the shining armor of CHAMPION OF TRUTH, JUSTICE, and the
AMERICAN WAY, or protector of every VICTIM, past, present, and potential,
then look at what a handful of right-wing zealot haters have been able to do
to the most powerful man in the world by using THE LAW as a cover for their
lynch-mob mentality. What all of you conservative types have to worry about
is not big government; its the dread sound of some police-state-trooper's
jackboot on your front porch, especially when he's being backed up by people
who will crucify your ass IN THE NAME OF THE LAW to further his own
political and personal agendas. But, of course, you think, you don't have to
worry, because as a good, conservative, law-respecting, law-abiding citizen,
it's the bad guys, not you, that have something to fear from this. Think
again! I'm a forensic psychologist and spend my days in the company of
criminals, so I know what the public has to fear from them, but what scares
me WAY more than any of the criminals I deal with are the prosecutorial
types who, playing on people's fears of crime, take more and more power into
their greedy little mitts and inch us ever closer to the kind of police
state control that would make us yearn for the good-ole days of big
government. What we really have to fear in this Country is not big
government, but the crushing power of THE LAW UNLEASHED. So, you better keep
your peckers in your pants, 'cause you don't know when someday some
smily-faced, oily-moralizing, politically-ambitious BOZO may be looking over
your shoulder and decide that you're a totally-wasteable stepping stone to
power and glory. How the hell can you slack conservatives (isn't that an
oxymoron?) look at the faces of the always-smiling,
friendly-pleasant-voiced,
look-you-straight-in-the-eye-and-sell-you-a-hate-laden-bill-of-goods Jerry
Falwells and, even more so, Ken Starrs, and not see Bob? I can't.

>On the other hand, when all's said and done, it's starting to look like
>this will probably be the best thing that ever happened to the Democrats.
>It'd serve those fundament-kissing Falwellian Orwellian asses right. BOTH
>sets of 'em.
>
T'is a consumation devoutly to be wished!
>
>
. As Chas Smith of Einstein's Secret Orchestra says: "From space, it all
looks like the squabblings of maggots
>on a PLUM." Or something like that.

Yeah, but as long as I'm one of those maggots, I can't take any more comfort
from that kind of super-distant, far-removed, what-fools-these-mortals-be
perspective than I could if I had my head tucked securely in the sand, but
knew that a Mack Truck was bearing down on my still-exposed ass.

>As long as the great pendulum of History keeps on swinging, and isn't
>stuck on ONE SIDE, then that's a GOOD SIGN. The scurrying Earthfools seem
>to require these distractions, as they scamper about their silly little
>mammalian puppet-acts.

Doubtlessly true, but, unfortnately, as that great pendulum has made its
mighty sweeps back and forth over the march of centuries, it has,
scythe-like, tumbled millions and millions of heads. Maybe that's not so bad
as long as it's somebody else's head and any one person's individual head
gets lost in the Rocky-Mountain-sized pile of all the other heads, but I'm
selfish enough to worry that on the next swing back it might lop off the one
head I've really grown attached to during my years on this fly-speck of a
planet.

Don
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

Praise fuckin' "Bob", Stang! Eloquent and pissed off to the end, you
RAWK MY WORLD, baby!

Any time someone else wnats to loan you out for that over the desk
thingie.......

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)
Newsgroups: alt.politics,alt.sex,alt.binaries.slack,alt.gothic

I was quite surprised by his pitiful ignorance on these issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In other words, you were annoyed that he didn't agree with you?

The Prophet Lilith
anarchist feminist who feels Clinton should be lynched for SOME OTHER
CRIME--there's plenty to go around!

--
Popess Lilith von Fraumench * http://come.to/p.lil
Hey Seattle SubGenii! Go to http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com
==If reality doesn't make you LAUGH, then TAKE THE GODDAMN CLOWN NOSE OFF!==

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: poindexter@subgenius.com (Rev. Poindexter incognito)

I would have fucked her too.

The point is that Willie boy FIXED a court case. You may not agree with
Paula Jones bringing her case up in the first place, BUT Willie boy used
his power and influence to derail it with false testimony, evidence and
witness tampering.

It was thrown out you say? The judge later ruled that the Moanica evidence
WAS relevant and was considering reinstating the case. Then Willie settled.

If he had nothing to fear, why go through the song and dance - INCLUDING
LYING TO YOUR OWN ATTORNEY, then pay $850K if the case had no merit?

Then continue to lie? We all knew he lied, we all have some sympathy for
the "intrusion into one's private affairs". He is the "head" law
enforcement officer in the country, and he's fixing cases like Capone...

RP

--
poindexter@subgenius.com
AKA: RTOABSONAFOR

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

Let's argue about religion instead!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

On Thu, 04 Feb 1999 22:07:31 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) expounded:
[...]
<
<Also keep in mind that I have been married for 25 years, I have NEVER been
<on the dole, I am a small business owner who employs workers, has also
<unfortunately had to work in plenty of "regular" jobs, I am a voting, tax
<paying citizen whose 2.5 college age kids aren't fucked up and who has an
<active social life. I have no police record. I may be a DUMB ASS with
<AWFUL TASTE, but that would only make me MORE AVERAGE.

Then don't be suprised, thanks to peop^H^H^H^H socialists like
Klintoon, if you get dragged into kourt by the EEOC for *not*
practicing racism when you hire somebody: "our chart shows
that you should 1.27 female Samoans on your staff...pay up."

Seriously Stangy, Klintoon is most definitely NOT on the side
of the person you described above.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

On Thu, 04 Feb 1999 22:07:31 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) expounded:
[...]
<But then, I'm a HIPPIE-TYPE, and I kind of hate to see religious nuts make
<laws governing my DICK based on ANCIENT TRIBAL FAIRY TALES. I also sorta
<thought there was some kind of PRO-PRIVACY thing about our form of
<government at one point.

There used to be, but part of my point is that it's most definitely
NOT the religious nuts who write and support these stupid laws, it's
the feminists/socialists - namely Klintoon himself: Klintoon claims
that this sort of activity IS the government's business.

Again: it's the feminist/socialists, like Klintoon, who advocate
more government interference and control in your private life.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

I am definitely a feminist and I certainly do NOT advocate gov't.
interference or control in my private life. The TRUE meaning of the word
feminism is only equal rights and pay. Any other comments made by
"feminists" are simply their own opinions.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

That's what a lot of feminists claim, and it sounds good, but
obviously you're not up on the polices and laws that NOW, and
all other major femininazi orgs, promote and manage to get
passed, because they strongly advocate government intrusion
and control, and special rights for some people but not
others: the politically active feminists are most definitely
against equality and freedom, and support their bullshit causes
with bogus "studies" and blatant lies that the pink media
parrots off on a regular basis.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

On Thu, 04 Feb 1999 15:29:05 GMT, SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com> expounded:

< So if I lied because I thought it was none of their biz, would I be
<those things too? Or YOU for that matter?

I won't take an oath in kourt because it's a joke (in part because
of "leaders" like Klintoon), and I don't pretend to support the
legal system, much less act as a leader of it or even profit from
it. No I wouldn't lie, that's far too cheesy to be worth it, and
in fact I'm in legal "contempt of kourt" even as we speak - 180
daze in jail hanging over my head for minding my own business,
thanks to policies Klintoon supports.

People get more fucked over by this system than by any other means
(all their property stolen, endless years in a cage, maybe even
killed) and the last thing you want associated with it is liars -
unfortunately now it's permeated, and self-serving liars in the
government are the reason why about 700,000 non-criminals are
rotting in prisons in this sorry police state.

AND! if it were legally "none of their business" the question could
have been objected to as irrelevant: "What color underwear you got
on right now"? - "Objection!" But legally it was "their business",
and Klintoon himself agrees that it was their business: he strongly
supports (or supported?) the new and bogus "sexual harassment" laws
that got him into trouble in the first place. He literally asked
for what he's getting, at every turn - so if you say he's being
treated badly, you're also saying that his policies are bad. QED.

< Nothing wrong with draft-dodging if you don't BELIEVE in what the war's
<for. But don't misunderstand all this as a "vote" for Clinton. I don't

He claimed to not support wars, like the one he just started in Iraq
as a diversion, that weren't a direct threat to the US; but I guess
he's changed his mind since someone besides him is putting their lives
at risk. The papers are all in the congressional record, including the
letter from the ROTC guy about how Klintoon had lied to him to get out
of the ROTC, which he used to get out of the regular army. Clever and
effective and sleazy, but more suitable for an insurance salesman, or
shyster liaryer, than anyone with any political power, including the
dog catcher, and just pure sleaze compared to M. Ali's actions in the
same situation. Would you like to have a dog catcher who'd lie in kourt
about what your dog was doing, lie at the drop of a hat to protect
or enrich himself? Maybe they'd kill your dog based on his false
testimony, just so he could get some brownie points at work or something.
Liars in the "justice system" are the worst type of criminal and need
to be nailed quickly and very, very badly.

<trust or like ANY politicians....they and their system are all
<self-serving.

Because people hold them to far too low a standard...and of course
some are worse than others - I happen to think it's quite embarassing
to have someone like Klintoon as president. Or used to, because since
I've renounced my citizenship he's not "my" president, he's merely
someone whose criminal actions (not those he's on trial for), or
more accurately the unconstitutional and destructive policies that
he's so in love with and supports with lies (almost everything he
states as fact is false), have and will negatively affect me in a
very real sense...and I don't mean anything semi-trivial like taxes.

So I think it's really really very kewl that he's getting fucked
over (actually not, it's just the consequences of his actions), and
will be for a long, long time, and might even go prison (fat chance)
thanks to my strange bedfellow Kenny...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Mark Lee <mlee@allwest.net>

Joe wrote:

> Monica loved sex, which is no big deal.
> Bill called it off in spite of the feel.
> The desire was strong in Monica
> She blew it just like a harmonica.
> Then along came Tripp who decided to squeal.

With a little trimming, you could make this a haiku.
--
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=|=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
Mark Lee - mlee@allwest.net

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <79fdjl$k2q$1@usenet41.supernews.com>, Don Tatro
<bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:

> That is, when I want to Bob Dobbs you.

Please, Mr. Tatro--don't Dobbs 'em! You'll never "see" the "end" of
"it"! EVER AGAIN!!!

The Prophet Lilith

--
Popess Lilith von Fraumench * http://come.to/p.lil
Hey Seattle SubGenii! Go to http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com
==If reality doesn't make you LAUGH, then TAKE THE GODDAMN CLOWN NOSE OFF!==

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BB0B0B.7215A2A5@subgenius.com>, SiS D
<decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Praise fuckin' "Bob", Stang! Eloquent and pissed off to the end, you
> RAWK MY WORLD, baby!
>
> Any time someone else wnats to loan you out for that over the desk
> thingie.......

SOLD!!!... to an American!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <79fcbs$lg7$1@usenet45.supernews.com>, "Don Tatro"
<bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:

> with. So it was NEVER just another example of a person not telling the truth
> under oath during a court proceeding. There was a power struggle of
> monumental proportion going on when Clinton tried as deftly as he could to
> skirt the truth. It was his move of a chess piece on the giant board of
> opposing political ideologies and grabs for power. It had nothing to do with
> Paula Jones, and anyone who compares the Paula Jones trial to any other
> trial brought on similar grounds and judges Clinton accordingly, has his/her
> head tucked firmly up his/her ass. Whatever your political persuasion, put
> yourself in Clinton's place at the moment it got through to him that the
> enemies who were out to crucify him had got hold of something with which
> they could hang him out to dry. What would you do? Surrender or fight back?
> I, for one, would fight back. I would not serve myself up to the people who
> wanted my head on a platter. I'd do my damndest to deny them their feast,
> even if that meant taking the most nitpicking approach I could to the issue
> of perjury. You may not like Clinton, but the one thing that you'll have to
> give him is that he is ONE HELL OF A FIGHTER. He may have been a draft

>

And praise GOD DAMNED LARRY FLYNT TOO! AND HOWARD STERN while we're at it.
LENNY BRUCE was not afraid. BILL HICKS LIVES! PRAISE FUCKIN' "BOB"!

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36c8f711.46142786@news.mindspring.com>, Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:

> On Thu, 04 Feb 1999 22:07:31 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan
Stang) expounded:
> [...]
> <But then, I'm a HIPPIE-TYPE, and I kind of hate to see religious nuts make
> <laws governing my DICK based on ANCIENT TRIBAL FAIRY TALES. I also sorta
> <thought there was some kind of PRO-PRIVACY thing about our form of
> <government at one point.
>
> There used to be, but part of my point is that it's most definitely
> NOT the religious nuts who write and support these stupid laws, it's
> the feminists/socialists - namely Klintoon himself: Klintoon claims
> that this sort of activity IS the government's business.
>
> Again: it's the feminist/socialists, like Klintoon, who advocate
> more government interference and control in your private life.

I see.

You may be right.

LeMur. I KNOW and AGREE that there are indeed MONSTROUS INJUSTICES being
performed by exactly the dogmatic, nutty, embittered radical feminist
extremists that you're talking about! NO ARGUMENT THERE! I have close
friends who have been victims of exactly that mindset, and it can cause
awful, senseless tragedy. There are government offices being run by
harpies who honestly believe that all men are rapists, and by black people
who believe all nonblacks are devils. Vast tracts of SubGenius spew
acreage are directed at exactly those scumbags.

Now, can you give me any idea about how MANY of these feminist/socialists
and Nation of Islam kooks are telling us how to run our lives, as opposed
to, oh, say, sexist/fascists and Southern Baptists? A percentage? Rough
guess?

Now, isn't that a STUPID question?

Perhaps our TERMS need to be defined just a wee bit more specifically.

I personally resent being told that anybody who voted Democrat is a
"Socialist." That seems just a wee tiny bit extreme to me. Sort of like
comparing Clinton to Hitler. There's just a little something "OFF" in that
equation. It leaves out any gray areas at all. No SHADING! I also resent
being told that I have been completely bamboozled by the media conspiracy
like some unthinking member of the "SHEEPLE" herd.

Personally, I feel that the terms "liberal" and "conservative" are no
longer particularly valid terms to use in this broad context, because --
again -- IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE ANYMORE. Does Jerry Falwell represent you?
Does the Unabomber represent me? Was Newt ever a mammal? These are among
the many questions with which we must all grapple as we bravely enter
this, the 21st CENtury.

What am I saying?

I'll meet ya out back, come on motherfucker. No rules, any throw!

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

"Ignoring the shit in this church is like ignoring the sea
when you're stuck on Gilligan's Island."
-- Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

> < I am definitely a feminist and I certainly do NOT advocate gov't.
> <interference or control in my private life. The TRUE meaning of the word
> <feminism is only equal rights and pay. Any other comments made by
> <"feminists" are simply their own opinions.
>
> That's what a lot of feminists claim, and it sounds good, but
> obviously you're not up on the polices and laws that NOW, and
> all other major femininazi orgs, promote and manage to get
> passed, because they strongly advocate government intrusion
> and control, and special rights for some people but not
> others: the politically active feminists are most definitely
> against equality and freedom, and support their bullshit causes
> with bogus "studies" and blatant lies that the pink media
> parrots off on a regular basis.

That's what a lot of right wing fundamentalist Christians claim, and it
sounds good, but obviously you're not up on the polices and laws that the
GOP, and all other major right wing fundamentalist Christians orgs,
promote and manage to get passed, because they strongly advocate
government intrusion and control, teaching of superstition, etc., and
special rights for "moral" people but not others: the politically active
"far right born-agains" are most definitely against equality and freedom,
and support their bullshit causes with bogus "HOLY BOOKS" and blatant lies
that the pink media parrots off on a regular basis.

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Newsgroups: alt.politics,alt.sex,alt.binaries.slack,alt.gothic
In article <36cafe49.47991427@news.mindspring.com>, Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:

>
> Seriously Stangy, Klintoon is most definitely NOT on the side
> of the person you described above.

Oh, well in that case, maybe L'il Prince George Bush Jr. or swingin'
Elizabeth Dole or that down-n-dirty, REGULAR GUY Dan Quayle, or any of
those other real people-of-the-PEOPLE, Steve FORBES maybe, would care to
PAY UP THEIR FUCKING $20 CHURCH RENEWAL DUES!

DUH!!! Of COURSE no INCREDIBLY POWERFUL POLITICIAN is on my side!

But the ones that SUCK UP TO RIGHT WING CHRISTIANITY as an excuse to SHUT
US WEIRDOS UP FOREVER?

UH... sorry, but in the old matter of the lesser of two evils, MY side of
the evil says that we can agree to disagree without overturning national
elections over somebody's quick closet blowjob. Especially when most
people can obviously see right through the whole joke.

Oh, but they didn't POLL YOU, right? Well, they didn't poll me either.

But I'll bet we all get "poled" before it's over!

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36c11353.53378313@news.mindspring.com>, Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:
>
> I was quite surprised by his pitiful ignorance on these issues.

I knew you were gonna say that!

You International Socialist Far-Middle Radioactivites are always so predictable!

There's a whole FOREST made from all those trees, man! STEP BACK! INFLATE
and RISE! Get a bird's eye view!

Go ahead and INFORM ME! But please... I'm wise to the Limbaughesque
lies-by-omission trick, okay? I admit he's BRILLIANT at it. But don't
waste your time overloading me with HALF of the ZILLION FACTS, unless
you're gonna toss in the OTHER zillion.

The issue is NOT simple. Very few things are actually simple. Well,
billions of humans are, maybe.

Let's see who can keep their senses of humor on this, and who are gonna
sound like Ayatollahs.

5-4-3-2-1.... GO!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "fred c. dobbs" <cgbelcher@spamlesscwix.com>

man, thanks for the perfect characterization of bill's state of the union
speech! disguising a social security tax increase by spending vaporous
surpluses 15 years out and more crap than has ever been packed in an hour
and a half bag.
hell, you've described this administration's whole agenda. you're a poet.

Don Tatro <bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote in article
<79fdjl$k2q$1@usenet41.supernews.com>...
> That is, PUT something over--stick it to you, bamboozle your ass, get
your
> vote, sell you something you don't need and can't afford, make you march
to
> the tune of my drummer, convince you that you're seeing something you
ain't
> and not seeing something you are, and so on and so on and so on. That is,
> when I want to Bob Dobbs you.
>
> Don

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <050219991055031144%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

> In article <79fdjl$k2q$1@usenet41.supernews.com>, Don Tatro
> <bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:
>
> > That is, when I want to Bob Dobbs you.
>
> Please, Mr. Tatro--don't Dobbs 'em! You'll never "see" the "end" of
> "it"! EVER AGAIN!!!
>
>
> The Prophet Lilith

"I've been "Bob" Dobbsed, Lee Harvey Oswalded, Ken Starred, Karen
Silkwooded, Joe McCarthied, George Armstrong Custered, Sitting Bulled,
Wounded Kneed, PINCHED, beat up by rednecks for being a hippie, SCOLDED,
Larry Flynted, Jack Rubied, Richard Nixoned, Spiro Agnewed, Timothy
Learied, G. Gordon Liddied, The Amazing Kresgin'ed, TEASED, Madeline
Murray O'Haired, CHEATED, CALLED NAMES, Kitten Natividaded, Ivan Stanged,
Dick Tracied and BATMANNED; I've seen the Eiffel Tower, the Great Wall of
China and a Jimi Hendrix concert, but I NEVER seen a buncha shit lak DIS!"
-- DOLOMITE II

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

In article <36BB78CD.A75@succeeds.com>, like.excess@sex.com wrote:
>>
>
>What is it about priests that they just can't resist getting
>involved in politics?
>
>Stang as Jesuit. Eek.
>
>I'm tellin' ya, Reverend, ya play with the pigs, you is gonna
>get porked. And instead of being honey-and-feathers it will
>be honey-baked.

DAMN fine eatin'!

--
"All they ever did was clutch and fly and tickle; that was the way of
night-gaunts."
- The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, H.P. Lovecraft

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>

>And praise GOD DAMNED LARRY FLYNT TOO! AND HOWARD STERN while we're at it.
>LENNY BRUCE was not afraid. BILL HICKS LIVES! PRAISE FUCKIN' "BOB"!
>
A-fucking-men!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <79fu5p$25q$1@usenet43.supernews.com>, "Don Tatro"
<bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:

>
> >BWAHAHAHAHA!! Good one, Don. The fact that he thinks he can
> >lie and put whatever spin on it he wants speaks volumes about the
> >man's disdain for the people of this country. HE THINKS HE'S SMARTER
> >THAN EVERYONE ELSE. Ken Starr is smarter, Billy's just finding that
> >out now.
>
> Let me say it again: All politicians are liars and get ahead by hoodwinking
> the populous. In this respect, he's no different than, no better or no
> worse, than the righteous-acting zealots who are prosecuting him. They all
> think they're smarter than everyone else, and god help us, they are.
> >

That right there is indeed the most chilling aspect of it all.

WHAT IF THEY REALLY ARE THAT MUCH SMARTER?

Makes you almost feel like those poor soldiers stationed at the North Pole
in that movie, THE THING.

Admittedly, looking at these... (ahem).... BOZOS on television, that's a
STRETCH. To me, they mostly look like the loser minions that used to
follow my Alpha Male dad around. But what if that APPARENT retardation
itself is part of the WHOLE SCHEME? What if that was JUST EXACTLY WHAT
THEY WANTED US TO THINK? That they were STRINGING US ALONG, like SAPS,
like stupid just-hatched DUCKLINGS, reflexively following the first moving
blur that looks like Ma? And what if they assigned, to EACH of us, SOMEONE
WHO WOULD TELL US EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT TO HEAR? Lordy, the mind boggles.
One could almost be tempted to just throw up one's hands and GIVE UP. Or
just THROW UP!

In fact, I think I will!

I LOVE YOU BIG BROTHER! ***HUUUUAAARRRPPP!!!**

OOOPS!! Am I gonna be sub-peon-ed now that I said that?

HEY!! If I said, to paying media customers, that I ran into Kenneth Starr,
and Bill Clinton, those two SILVER TONGUED DEVILS, in a public restroom at
White Rock Lake, and they BOTH whipped out their warty, splotchy,
half-hard wizened old-man dicks, slobbered at me and winked... could I be
famous too? Could I be on Jerry?

One of my buddies used to argue with me that the then-Pres, George Bush,
was a TOTAL RETARD, a mere country club Pink, a hired scarecrow like
Reagan. I said NO!! He is a BRILLIANT MASTERMIND. He is the head of the
Secret Police AND the Presidency, and you think this man is STUPID!?!?
Then he has you RIGHT where he wants you -- PINNED in smugness!

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <friday-ya02408000R0502991911140001@news.tiac.net>,
friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:

> In article <36BB78CD.A75@succeeds.com>, like.excess@sex.com wrote:

> >I'm tellin' ya, Reverend, ya play with the pigs, you is gonna
> >get porked. And instead of being honey-and-feathers it will
> >be honey-baked.


> DAMN fine eatin'!

I'll bite you BACK, "HONEY-POT," with a TRICHONOSIS LOVE BOMB in my
UNDERCOOKED PIGGY JOWL-SLOBBER!

***

MARK MY WORDS, you dupes!

If it had been Friday Jones instead of Monica Lewinsky in that office back
in '96, today we'd be watching the pointless impeachment trial of
PRESIDENT FRIDAY JONES.

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>

Depending on your politics, I suppose you could apply what I wrote to any
politico from any part of the political spectrum and be right, since that's
what's politics is all about. They all lie, scam, and shovel tons of
bulldada, and, in my opinion, anyone who believes any of it enough to get on
one side or the other and feel so strongly about what they've been fed as to
take up arms against the opposition has been had. I don't know how my
comment got down here, diconnected from the thread to which I was
responding, but I wasn't talking about those who use smoke and screens to
spend our money (bad enough), but about those whose hypocritical deceptions
threaten to rob us of things more fundamental, like our privacy, our right
to think as we please, our freedom to fuck around and make human mistakes,
our ability to disagree with those who would dictate the ONE TRUE BRAND of
morality, and, in the end, our very lives. You worry about your pocketbook.
Me, I'm gonna keep on worrying about my ass.

Don

fred c. dobbs <cgbelcher@spamlesscwix.com> wrote in message
news:01be5147$c1f77320$a51337a6@sweetpea...
>man, thanks for the perfect characterization of bill's state of the union
>speech! disguising a social security tax increase by spending vaporous
>surpluses 15 years out and more crap than has ever been packed in an hour
>and a half bag.
>hell, you've described this administration's whole agenda. you're a poet.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <79g1c4$28h$1@usenet45.supernews.com>, "Don Tatro"
<bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:

> >And praise GOD DAMNED LARRY FLYNT TOO! AND HOWARD STERN while we're at it.
> >LENNY BRUCE was not afraid. BILL HICKS LIVES! PRAISE FUCKIN' "BOB"!
> >
> A-fucking-men!
>

And while we're at it -- WHAT WOULD FRANK CAPRA SAY???

What would FRANK god damned CAPRA think, to gaze upon the SORRY SPECTACLE
in which we find ourselves?

("Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" and "It's a Wonderful Life" being two of
my all time favorite movies, ACTUAL REAL INSPIRATIONS that have kept me
going when all seemed lost -- NO SHIT, sorry if I'm a sucker for
schmaltz.)

What would Frank ZAPPA say, for that matter? Would we have to force all
his old girlfriends to come testify? Or would they have to wait until just
after he was dead, before they whipped it out?

What would FEDERICO FELLINI and ROBERT CRUMB think? What would DAVID
CROCKETT, standing atop the Alamo, and DANIEL BOONE, running up that tree,
or Gov. ISAAC SHELBY, humping his cousin, think?? How would our RELIGIOUS
FANATIC PILGRIM FORESLAVES have felt, if they'd known that ALL THEIR TOIL
AND BLOOD was WASTED just so that private natural primate behavior could
be superceded by senseless churchstate regulations?

What would... *SNIFF, SNURKLE* ((flag-raising footage, music UP)) -- what
would GENERAL PATTON say, to NAMBY PAMBY SCHOOLMARM REPRESSION being used
to SMOTHER NATURAL YETI OOZE-SQUIRT at every turn, the only thing that
could SAVE us, our very INSTINCTS, EVEN WHILE the GNOMES OF ZURICH
force-feed the populace with SOFT CORE FALSE PORN in the form of MIND
CONTROL COMMERCIALS and BRAVE NEW WORLD STYLE PROPAGANDA? *CROSSED* with
1984 STYLE PROPAGANDA, making ALL subservient to the ALL-HATE-HOUR FALSE
ORGASM!?

GET REAL, DUDE!! "THEY LIVE!!!" AND IT WAS WORSE THAN EVEN *YOU* THOUGHT!

YOUR BEST FRIENDS REALLY *ARE* MONSTERS! THE VAGINAS REALLY *DO* HAVE
BEAKS! THE PENISES really DO have RETARDED MINDS OF THEIR OWN!!

MO-LUEKA!!! MO-LUEKA!!

KREEGAH-BUNDOLO!

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

"Ignoring the shit in this church is like ignoring the sea
when you're stuck on Gilligan's Island."
-- Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
>
>"I've been "Bob" Dobbsed, Lee Harvey Oswalded, Ken Starred, Karen
>Silkwooded, Joe McCarthied, George Armstrong Custered, Sitting Bulled,
>Wounded Kneed, PINCHED, beat up by rednecks for being a hippie, SCOLDED,
>Larry Flynted, Jack Rubied, Richard Nixoned, Spiro Agnewed, Timothy
>Learied, G. Gordon Liddied, The Amazing Kresgin'ed, TEASED, Madeline
>Murray O'Haired, CHEATED, CALLED NAMES, Kitten Natividaded, Ivan Stanged,
>Dick Tracied and BATMANNED; I've seen the Eiffel Tower, the Great Wall of
>China and a Jimi Hendrix concert, but I NEVER seen a buncha shit lak DIS!"
>-- DOLOMITE II

You're right, the birds do it, the bees do it, and even us monkeys who've
swung down from the trees do it, but if you gonna get done, at least know
who's doin' the doing. You've obviously been done to a turn, as have we all,
but how many of us know, as you've just illustrated, that while you're
getting done by someone on this or that side of an issue, there's someone on
the other side slipping it to you, too?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>

>

Anyway, I saw that 3D Cafe has a Klintoon Morphing Package
thingie fer sale--I wonder if they'll put it up for "freeware."

I bet they aren't exactly selling the shit out of that one.
Now, if they threw in a "Monica" Poser figure, there would
be more possibilities.

But all is not lost! Billary may run again, at least for the Senate
so as to make an oblique approach to re-taking the White House
and simultaneously becoming the first whoa-man to hold her orafice!

Tell yer Ma! Tell yer Pa!
I'm gonna send you back to Arkansas!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

>
> But all is not lost! Billary may run again, at least for the Senate
> so as to make an oblique approach to re-taking the White House
> and simultaneously becoming the first whoa-man to hold her orafice!

HILLARY VS. ELIZABETH DOLE!! CATFIGHT!!

I say, GO FOR IT! CALL RUSS MEYER! I love to see politically active,
thick-legged older weird-looking power women, in pictures in the news, a
lot. MMMM.

Although I draw the line at Marge Thatcher and Janet Reno.

But I really miss Benazhir Bhutto of Pakistan. And Corie Aquino... man,
that little bespectacled squat hot pepper was the FINEST! And TURA SATANA
-- when she was Governor of Rhode Island, man, I about liked to went
crazy. (I have the video of her, Betty Page's daughter, and Ann Richards,
if any SERIOUS traders are interested.)

Well, we can only hope. I would LOVE to just lay back and watch a bunch of
rival Connietites duke it out for a change.

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindXspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

On Fri, 05 Feb 1999 11:01:09 -0800, Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> expounded:

<In article <36c11353.53378313@news.mindspring.com>, Whee!, The Lemurs
<<noemail@mindspring.com> wrote:
<
<> I was quite surprised by his pitiful ignorance on these issues.
<
<In other words, you were annoyed that he didn't agree with you?
<

No - I'd already pegged Sis D as a knee-jerk liberal, but I
thought Stang had a little more sense and knowledge.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

My knees are twitching and jerking like crazy. Like some kind of crazy
spazz. I admit that the most sense I EVER had was only the common kind,
and probably not all that much of THAT. As for knowledge, well... you were
wrong. I don't have any more than Sister Decadence. A few DIFFERENT TYPES
maybe.

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <36bda170.2601422@news.mindspring.com>, Whee!, The Lemurs
<noemail@mindXspring.com> wrote:

>
> No - I'd already pegged Sis D as a knee-jerk liberal, but I
> thought Stang had a little more sense and knowledge.

Thanks for the laugh! Seriously, I'm still gasping for breath after
that.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:
>
>
> No - I'd already pegged Sis D as a knee-jerk liberal, but I
> thought Stang had a little more sense and knowledge.


Oh yeah, that's me. I AM a liberal. Knee jerk is just to your
genitals, dear.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: duhsherwitz@mailcity.com (duhsherwitz)
Looks like Sis D is on her liberal knees. Ready to blow.

Don't get any on you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

> Well, we can only hope. I would LOVE to just lay back and watch a bunch of
> rival Connietites duke it out for a change.

Sorry my man, that's the beauty of being a true Connie-ite...we don't
HAVE or WANT to battle one another. We WILL, however, battle several
pink bitches at once, merely just to catch and eat one's own dinner.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

And that's mainly so we can keep in practice, or for sport. Otherwise,
why bother with males at all?

Me, I just like the thrill of the hunt.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>
In article <i.stang-0502991954410001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> HILLARY VS. ELIZABETH DOLE!! CATFIGHT!!
>
> I say, GO FOR IT! CALL RUSS MEYER! I love to see politically active,
> thick-legged older weird-looking power women, in pictures in the news, a
> lot. MMMM.

I've always thought Lizzie Dole looked GOOD in leather suits, like that
one she wore back in '96 when she went on some talk show. As long as
they're both wearing catsuits, I'm in.

> Although I draw the line at Marge Thatcher and Janet Reno.

Good judgement prevails for once!

> But I really miss Benazhir Bhutto of Pakistan. And Corie Aquino... man,
> that little bespectacled squat hot pepper was the FINEST! And TURA SATANA
> -- when she was Governor of Rhode Island, man, I about liked to went
> crazy. (I have the video of her, Betty Page's daughter, and Ann Richards,
> if any SERIOUS traders are interested.)

Stang, I know you're not really into bondage and shit like that, but if
you're really interested I do have that tape of Vanessa Del Rio, Tipper
Gore, and Debbie Reynolds running a dungeon. I could also offer that
old Super-8 I have of Lady Bird, but since you draw the line at
Thatcher and Reno, I guess not....

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "fred c. dobbs" <cgbelcher@spamlesscwix.com>

so you prefer the orthodoxy of the left. i consider that orthodoxy more of
a threat to those fundamental things, "like our privacy, our right to think
as we please, our freedom to fuck around and make human mistakes, our
ability to disagree with those who would dictate the ONE TRUE BRAND of
morality, and, in the end, our very lives", than what you perceive as a
threat.
as for worry about my pocketbook as opposed to my ass, you are flawed
again. you couldn't be more wrong.
your left is a threat to human liberties and dignities of all kinds and has
demonstrated itself as such throughout history. clinton is typical of the
ilk... he can't tell the truth whether the issue is a sworn deposition or
national policy.
if that is truly the way you want it, you certainly have it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> The issue is NOT simple. Very few things are actually simple. Well,
> billions of humans are, maybe.
>
> Let's see who can keep their senses of humor on this, and who are gonna
> sound like Ayatollahs.
>
> 5-4-3-2-1.... GO!

Wheeeeeeee!!!! This is FUN!!!!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Message-ID: <36BBB818.BC3B45CD@subgenius.com>

> But I'll bet we all get "poled" before it's over!

We can only hope, darlin'!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

In article <i.stang-0502991838220001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>,
i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:

>
>MARK MY WORDS, you dupes!
>
>If it had been Friday Jones instead of Monica Lewinsky in that office back
>in '96, today we'd be watching the pointless impeachment trial of
>PRESIDENT FRIDAY JONES.

Actually, you'd be watching Starr running away from the lions. Real lions.
Hungry lions. Me in a brief toga, eating grapes and waving to the crowds
... actually my double, let her take the sniper's bullet for me!
Also, as President I feel that holding murderers on Death Row for decades
and decades is cruel. So, I will have them all shot, humanely, while they
sleep.

Kisses,
Your President

--
"All they ever did was clutch and fly and tickle; that was the way of
night-gaunts."
- The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, H.P. Lovecraft

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> That's what a lot of right wing fundamentalist Christians claim, and it
> sounds good, but obviously you're not up on the polices and laws that the
> GOP, and all other major right wing fundamentalist Christians orgs,
> promote and manage to get passed, because they strongly advocate
> government intrusion and control, teaching of superstition, etc., and
> special rights for "moral" people but not others: the politically active
> "far right born-agains" are most definitely against equality and freedom,
> and support their bullshit causes with bogus "HOLY BOOKS" and blatant lies
> that the pink media parrots off on a regular basis.
>


Go baby, I'm just feeding him because it's fun tow atch all this. (I've
never gotten to you know, this is my first really big, slightly
angry-but-still-in-the-same-group kinda discussion/argument. I'm no
longer a....*sniff*....virgin.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

Don't worry, hon, it only hurts for a little bit. Then you REALLY learn
what they meant by "friction"! HUNGH!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

Don Tatro wrote:
>
> SO, to those of you who say that it wasn't about sex, you're right. But it
> wasn't about lying under oath, corrupting witnesses, impeding justice, or
> any of those things, either. That's all smoke put out there by
> slight-of-hand artists to get people to look over here, while, over there,
> they're slippin' one on past you. What it's all about, what it's always been
> all about, is POLITICS and POWER, and, if that hasn't gotten through to you
> watching the House proceedings and much of what has gone on in the Senate,
> then I want you as one of my rubes the next time I'm motivated to something
> over.
>
> Don

WOW! Fuggin praise fuggin "Bob"! The boy's RIGHT! We ALLLL know about
the Conspiracy!!! The bastards have us arguing amongst ONE ANOTHER,
while they're sticking it to us in the ASS and laughing over much ado
about NOTHING! Fighting amongst ourselves while the PINK Conspiracy
bastards pretend to fret and stew, like they REALLY care, while taking
our MONEY, (without us GIVING it, like, of course we would to "Bob"...or
Connie, you get the picture) robbing our SOULS, and RAPING us of every
thing hold sacred...most importantly, they STILL take our SLACK!!! Out
from under our noses, my family, while we bitch about the Non-Entities
of State!

Or kill me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> >
>
> And praise GOD DAMNED LARRY FLYNT TOO! AND HOWARD STERN while we're at it.
> LENNY BRUCE was not afraid. BILL HICKS LIVES! PRAISE FUCKIN' "BOB"!

Praise Mae Fuckin' West!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>
Newsgroups: alt.politics,alt.sex,alt.binaries.slack,alt.gothic

Rev. Ivan Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:i.stang-0502991825140001@fcn105-243.tmi.net...
>>
>> Let me say it again: All politicians are liars and get ahead by
hoodwinking
>> the populous. In this respect, he's no different than, no better or no
>> worse, than the righteous-acting zealots who are prosecuting him. They
all
>> think they're smarter than everyone else, and god help us, they are.
>> >
>
>
>That right there is indeed the most chilling aspect of it all.
>
>WHAT IF THEY REALLY ARE THAT MUCH SMARTER?

They're not very smart; their advantage is that they're smart enough to know
a few things that most people don't and Machavellia-unprincipled enough to
put this knowledge to use. (1) If people don't have anything to fear or
hate, conjure up boogie men and enemies for them and hold yourself out as
their protector and champion, (2) most people feel like they are lost in the
wilderness, or, at minimum, get totally bored, if they don''t have something
they can REALLY BELIEVE IN, so give them a cause they can sink their teeth
into besides whose football team is better than everyone elses', (3) most
people DON"T WANT to be told the truth, they'd rather hang onto the fictions
that make them feel that they're on the right side and MORALLY SUPERIOR, so
give them what they want--LIE TO THEM, you're doing 'em a favor, (4) and if
you're going to lie, LIE BIG, never small. It's the little lies that people
tend to question and which get you caught (ask Bill), but when your lies are
so monstrous that people conclude you have to be telling the truth because
only a madman or a truthteller could fib so outrageously (ask George,
Ronnie, JFK, FDR; et al) (5) become practiced at speaking out of both sides
of your mouth, so that, for example, you can condemn bigotry in one breath
and inflame peoples' prejudices in the next; (6) no matter how stupid,
trivial, inconsequential, or down-right wrong your message is, deliver it
with supreme self-confidence as if it were one of life's INDISPUTABLE TRUTHS
which no thinking person could possibly disagree with; and (7) SMILE,
dammit, SMILE, even when you're proposing that someone be drawn, flayed,
quartered, and hung in the town square for for the children to see and learn
from.

This doesn' t take a lot of smarts. It's something that stage hypnotists,
practitioners of legerdemain, con men, and your most country-bumpkin,
tent-revival faith healers have been picking up and putting into practice
for ever-so-long, now.

>Makes you almost feel like those poor soldiers stationed at the North Pole
>in that movie, THE THING.
>
>Admittedly, looking at these... (ahem).... BOZOS on television, that's a
>STRETCH. To me, they mostly look like the loser minions that used to
>follow my Alpha Male dad around. But what if that APPARENT retardation
>itself is part of the WHOLE SCHEME? What if that was JUST EXACTLY WHAT
>THEY WANTED US TO THINK? That they were STRINGING US ALONG, like SAPS,
>like stupid just-hatched DUCKLINGS, reflexively following the first moving
>blur that looks like Ma? And what if they assigned, to EACH of us, SOMEONE
>WHO WOULD TELL US EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT TO HEAR? Lordy, the mind boggles.
>One could almost be tempted to just throw up one's hands and GIVE UP. Or
>just THROW UP!
>
>In fact, I think I will!
>
>I LOVE YOU BIG BROTHER! ***HUUUUAAARRRPPP!!!**

There are two basic types, I think. I would not be as chilled by the type
you're referring to, the ones who really ARE smarter than the average bear
and know full well what they're about and why. Clinton belongs to this
category, I think. The ones that really scare me are those who have fallen
under the spell of the charlatans that came before them, REALLY BELIEVE in
their own claptrap, and because they are the most faithful of the faithful
have graduated to the ranks of the powerful, where they can put the
techniques of their teachers to unthinking, never-self-questioning,
totally-self-assured good use. With the smart ones, who don't really believe
the bullshit they hand out, there's an avenue of appeal, but with the dumb
ones, the true believers, forget it. If I had a lynch mob coming after me, I
would hope there were some self-aware, knowing, smart guys in the bunch,
because there'd at least be a chance for mercy. But if the pack was made up
entirely of dumb shits assured of their own righteousness, my ass would be
grass. NO MERCY would be coming from that quarter!
>

>One of my buddies used to argue with me that the then-Pres, George Bush,
>was a TOTAL RETARD, a mere country club Pink, a hired scarecrow like
>Reagan. I said NO!! He is a BRILLIANT MASTERMIND. He is the head of the
>Secret Police AND the Presidency, and you think this man is STUPID!?!?
>Then he has you RIGHT where he wants you -- PINNED in smugness!
>
Keerect! Good ole' sappy George, the erstwhile head of the CIA, was
definitely not one of the dummies. Still, give me a knowing George Bush any
day over that real-life, ventriloquist dummy of a Vice-President he had. If
you were at odds with George, he would certainly weigh the options and come
to a considered opinion, but not so with the smugly, self-satisfied,
blind-as-batshit Dan. Christ, he's so Bob-like that he still thinks he has a
shot at the presidency.

Don

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>

The Thought Police wrote:

> On Fri, 5 Feb 1999 16:21:13 -0700, "Don Tatro"
> <bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:
>
> Don, 'ol buddy, I ain't attacking you - just wanna make that clear.
> We're just . . . *discussing* stuff, okay?
>
> Now . . .
>
> [snip]
> > When they pulled him in there and sandbagged him with the
> >Monica thing that they had obtained through the deceitful, lying connivings
> >of Linda Tripp, Ken Starr, the right-wing backers of the Jones' attorneys, I
> [snip]
>
> Linda Tripp would be facing perjury charges if she lied under oath and
> said she didn't know about Billy's sperm-spewage. I don't *blame* her.
> Let Billy lie fer himself. No, I don't *like* her, she pulled the same
> shit on Bush, but she shouldn't have to lie to protect Billy from
> *his* enemies, whether real or imagined. Calling everyone else names
> doesn't mean Clinton didn't do these things he's accused of. We all
> KNOW he did them. He should have had the guts to "fight" as you
> put it seven months before he was forced into admitting it.
>
> [snip]
> >. . . . They all
> >lie--oaths or not--day after day, in every conceivable way. Your indignation
> >strikes me as naive.
>
> Dude, it's not my naivete - the man said over and over FOR MONTHS
> that he didn't do something everyone KNEW he did AND DIDN'T GIVE
> A SHIT ABOUT. Then he says, "Oh yeah, I did it. Fuck you all."
>
> I'm not indignant - I really don't give a shit.

Right on, right on, right on!

But this is where I bail out.

Not only do I NOT GIVE A SHIT
about this entire dog and pony show,
I'll be gall-danged if'n I'm buying the next round!

See you mouldy trail bums at the chuck wagon in the AM.
If you're too drunk to ride, either catch up, or eat trail bisquits!

BAR-J

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36bb9191.39265189@newsfeed.sexzilla.net>, The Righteous Order
of Algiz, The Holy Valkyrjur, c/o J.R. "Bob" Dobbs wrote:

>
> Linda Tripp would be facing perjury charges if she lied under oath and
> said she didn't know about Billy's sperm-spewage. I don't *blame* her.
> Let Billy lie fer himself. No, I don't *like* her, she pulled the same
> shit on Bush, but she shouldn't have to lie to protect Billy from
> *his* enemies, whether real or imagined. Calling everyone else names
> doesn't mean Clinton didn't do these things he's accused of. We all
> KNOW he did them. He should have had the guts to "fight" as you
> put it seven months before he was forced into admitting it.

Let's skip back just a couple of spaces on this idiotic Monopoly board.

How did this all start? Didn't have anything to do with personal privacy,
did it? YOU REALLY REALLY WANT TO KNOW EVERY TIME YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS
WIPE THEIR ASSES OR GET THEIR NUT? Oh yeah... that's right... you do.

So, then, you're talking about the "guts" to walk right into the trap
being set up for him, without complaint, right?

Not that any of you stalwart fellows would ever end up jumping a hot
looking floozie in the closet, had you the chance. Nor would you THINK of
failing to report it to the IRS. GOOD MORAL citizens that you are. GOOD
citizens. GOOD.

TATRO said:
> >He should be judged in
> >light of what was REALLY GOING ON at the time, which, as I argued, was a
> >monumental political gambit aimed at knocking the king from the throne and
> >grabbing hold of his power. The rules at this level of the game are very
> >diffrent than the rules that the little people play by, on both sides of the
> >power structure, and those are the rules that guide the players' actions.
> >I'm not saying that this is right. I'm just saying that this is the reality.
>
> [snip]

Yeah, "THOUGHT POLICE", you'd BETTER SNIP, before saying:

> What I failed to convey to you was that people are being routinely
> stopped and searched FOR NO REASON! Not stopped for speeding,
> drunk driving - just STOPPED. This is WRONG, as is the recent shit
> they're pulling here in VA - stopping people looking for "drunk
> drivers". IT'S WRONG, because the next step is "Papers, please!"

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! WHY, THAT NEVER EVER HAPPENED UNDER JFK, LBJ, NIXON,
FORD, CARTER, REAGAN or BUSH!!

*NO* weirdos ever got pestered by COPS, EVER BEFORE, right?

Please describe the last time the feminazis did this to you. I mean, come
on, nail it down and be specific. Because there hasn't been any particular
extra epidemic of that in Texas, that I know of, any more than in the last
25 years, and I somehow suspect that I might just be a slightly more
visible target than you are, WERE the NEW WORLD ORDER concentration camp
guests lists REALLY being drawn up. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe your FBI
profile is bigger than mine. Maybe you look much weirder than I do. Maybe
your publications rile up more loonies. But I venture to suspect that I
have seniority in that respect. 20 years has to count for something.

Getting pulled over for looking like Leon Russell has CERTAINLY happened
to me SEVERAL times in the name of the drug war, and RECENTLY. But... I
just wasn't getting that "feminazi" DRIFT from the highway cops, in those
particular situations. No offense, but... they just weren't importing that
"It Takes A Village" VIBE, if you know what I mean, when they were ramming
me up against the police car and groping my nuts for guns.

Maybe you don't know what I mean.

This reminds me of the vast hordes of crazed environmentalist P.C. thought
police animal rights extremists that have overrun our colleges and hunting
grounds. The ones that Rush constantly rags on, but that no one actually
ever SEES except in Berkely, Ann Arbor, and Madison. All 14 of them.

Last time I looked around, ALL YOU COMFY REPUBLICAN GUYS were being left
alone, and *I* was the one being harrassed by the feds!

Now, let's regroup and rethink this.

Come on. All of ya. When was the last time the cops pushed their way into
your house and demanded to see your product line? And asked personal
questions relating to your religious practices?

...?

Come on. Fess up. Have any of you good citizens been rousted out recently?

Eh?

Well, they did that to our little business just the other day. Busted in,
scared the shit out of Nickie, and had me explain to them "jest whut this
"Bob" thang is all about." "An' whut's this 'SATAN SUCKS' sticker on yer
FAHL CABINET?? Whussat MAIN?? Er yew sum kinna CULL?"

(In a similar Texas accent, I did my usual song and dance that starts with
"Have you ever read MAD MAGAZINE, Officer?" and ends with "...it'd be like
somebody seeing a Walt Disney cartoon and then setting out mousetraps for
that big funny mouse with the white gloves. But I can't imagine anybody
being THAT dumb.")

Well, I GUESS, if you really STRETCHED YOUR IMAGINATION, you could call
these bullish male redneck Texans, and their bosses back at the station,
"feminazis," servants of the leftist socialist commie thought police; them
and the anonymous whatever that tried to set us up. I guess if you wanted
to LOOK at it that way, they were investigating us because we were JUST
TOO DARNED PATRIOTIC, like Timothy McVeigh.

If you really HAD to look at it that way, I suppose you could.

Sorry if you had to buckle your seat belt...

>
> They're also road-blocking for - get this - NOT WEARING YOUR
> SEATBELT. Seems they're pissed off at all that "non-compliance"
> going on out there.

GOD DAMN. You Americans have it SO TOUGH. I think you ought to try some
more enlightened and convenient nation where you don't run into such
BLATANT VIOLATIONS OF BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS. Pick one.

Pick one.

Seat belts. My god. To think. Oh the cruelty. You poor Americans. So, TP.
how much have you paid in fines for that? Or is this still strictly
theoretical?

>
> But the socialists will point a finger and say "There's something
> wrong with ANYONE who doesn't want to get rid of Drunk Drivers.
> IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! AND THEY'RE NOT WEARING
> THEIR SEATBELTS EITHER!" That's never a good reason to
> trample people's rights - ostensibly to protect them from themselves.

Yeah... I gotta admit... those Socialists are just harrassing me and
robbing me of my rights, EVERY DAY. SOCIALISTS!!! THOUSANDS of them! Under
the bed! In the woodwork!

HEY BUB -- I hate to quote my former enemies, but:

"AMERICA -- LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!"


> >>That one statement proved to me this dangerous man should be
> >>taken down ANY WAY POSSIBLE - including a trumped up charge
> >>that ANY OTHER AMERICAN would wind up in jail for.

MMMM. Another big history major we have here.

"BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY."

"INCLUDING A TRUMPED UP CHARGE."

"THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS."

"WE KNOW BETTER THAN THE SHEEPLE."

If the drugs weren't in there -- PLANT drugs there.

"DO THE RIGHT THING."

TATRO:
> >And now we get to the bottom line, which is that you sympathize with and
> >support people who would TRUMP UP charges and go after and destroy someone
> >with whom they disagreed politically. I ask you, which is worse, someone who
> >would tell a little lie about his private sexual behavior under oath or
> >someone who would LIE BIG TIME by trumping up charges and using the lie and
> >the protective coloration of the RULE OF LAW to cynically, hypocritically
> >destroy another person?

Which Commandment carries the most weight -- Thou Shalt Not Commit
Adultery, or Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness? Or Thou Shalt Not Covet
etc. etc.?

Only a large committee of carefully selected men, with neckties, can be
depended on to sort out such complicated matters.

FEH!! I've had a LOADED GUN pointed right in my face by a SELF PROCLAIMED
CATHOLIC BEACH COP in GALVESTON who demanded to know if that picture of
that man on my shirt meant I was in SUM CULT. I've had DRUNK COWBOY
COLLEGE JOCKS, 3 at once, jump lonesome me in the park at midnight just
for having long hair, AFTER I OFFERED 'EM SOME OF MY WINE, and beat me
senseless. I've been threatened, right to my face, I CAN'T COUNT HOW MANY
TIMES, by Good Patriotic Americans, that if I kept speaking my opinions,
they'd SHUT ME UP FOR GOOD. (Oddly enough, they ALWAYS split after saying
their piece!) I've had my radio show cancelled from THREE STATIONS
including my own home town, for not being "P.C." and "LIBERAL" enough.
I've been AUDITTED by the IRS, who REFUSED TO BELIEVE that I made SO
LITTLE MONEY -- and FINED me for it. Three hundred OTHER radio stations
turned us down for being too liberal and not conservatively p.c. enough.
Luckily now-deceased white supremacists with good KILL SHEETS have
instructed IN PRINT that my "Jewish" ass be rubbed out. I raced to LEONARD
CROW DOG'S place outside Rosebud (Rosebud Reservation in SD) trying to
warn them that there was an FBI caravan on the way, and Crow Dog's people
almost SHOT me, and then the feds ended up raiding his COUSIN'S ranch,
ANYWAY! The U.S. Gov't wanted to ship my 18 year old butt to Vietnam to
help stuff body bags just as the war was winding down. Pinko union lackies
have threatened to shut down my two bit film productions for not hiring
Teamsters. I've also had dangerous looking American Indian youth on the
prairie res call me "Honky" and follow me out to the parking lot in the
SCARIEST fashion, and I've been the focus of "white devil" Nation of Islam
hate. I've had nasty Mexican youth gangs shoot out my van windows. I've
sat at the curb of the airport in Beijing, with Red Guards glaring at me
and calling me "Stupid Egg," wondering if they weren't gonna confiscate
all the film AND my ass. And I have been followed around by Secret Service
cameramen, snapping my picture for having spoken at a protest outside the
Republican National Convention, even though ONE HOUR LATER those same
security boys let me get within slingshot distance of Nancy Reagan inside
the con as a "cub reporter", JUST BECAUSE MY HAIR WAS HIDDEN BY THEN!

(If that all sounds like a long string of bullshit, well, believe what you
will, but don't peruse my 8mm home movie shelf! I *AM* bragging, AS WELL I
SHOULD, just for having SURVIVED and REMEMBERED such a BIZARRE STRING OF
LIFE EXPERIENCES.)

AND, I've spent THOUSANDS MORE HOURS happily enjoying civic peace and
technological luxury unknown to even the kings and sultans of previous
generations.

The main conclusion I have drawn from all this is, it takes all kinds.

And it isn't like I didn't ask for every bit of that crap. The crap seems
to go along with possessing full blown basic human passions and instincts,
and expressing them. I ain't complaining. But I also hate to be ragged at
by a bunch of armchair revolutionaries and Monday Morning Quarterbacks,
backstage dole recipients and whining have-nots -- less'n they can back it
up with some EQUALLY LIKELY SOUNDING BULLSHIT.

Now, let's get specific about just how the feminazi conspiracy fucked you
over, and how the impeachment is going to affect that situation.

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

"Ignoring the shit in this church is like ignoring the sea
when you're stuck on Gilligan's Island."
-- Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Comrade

In article <36bbed53.1982140@nq-cc2.aol.com>, DLPhilpot@aol.com wrote...

> Dear Mr. President:

<snipped> right-wing drivel

Give it up honey. The TWICE elected president of these
United States will not leave office until Jan. 2001 !

We are tired of hearing the "christian Reich" hypocrisy.
It's time to slither back under your rock now. Have a
nice day.

U.S.Homegrown,
Comrade

End The Blockade Of Cuba:
http://www.igc.apc.org/cubasoli/govtnumb.html

Iraq Action Coalition:
http://leb.net/iac/main.html

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>
In article <i.stang-0502991616130001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> "I've been "Bob" Dobbsed, Lee Harvey Oswalded, Ken Starred, Karen
> Silkwooded, Joe McCarthied, George Armstrong Custered, Sitting Bulled,
> Wounded Kneed, PINCHED, beat up by rednecks for being a hippie, SCOLDED,
> Larry Flynted, Jack Rubied, Richard Nixoned, Spiro Agnewed, Timothy
> Learied, G. Gordon Liddied, The Amazing Kresgin'ed, TEASED, Madeline
> Murray O'Haired, CHEATED, CALLED NAMES, Kitten Natividaded, Ivan Stanged,
> Dick Tracied and BATMANNED; I've seen the Eiffel Tower, the Great Wall of
> China and a Jimi Hendrix concert, but I NEVER seen a buncha shit lak DIS!"
> -- DOLOMITE II

You forgot a few--Christine Jourgensened, John Wayne Bobbitted, Jayne
Mansfielded, Matthew Sheparded, Ed Geined, Albert Fished, Eric
Cartmanned, NOTTERED, K'taden Legumed, Scatman Crothered, James
Browned, David Ossmanned, LAUNCHED, BASTED, Bob Flanaganned, Slim
Pickened, Aleister Crowleyed, John Paul Seconded, PACKED, Salvador
Dalied, Tammie Fayed, TARDED, John Connellied, Cleve Dunkaned, Joseph
Pujolled, Billy Samueled, PEED, Nissy G'Gerpussed, Alfred Hitchcocked,
Nina Hagenned, Alfred E. Neumanned, Philip K. Dicked, Poop Dogged, Mark
Twained, Wolfgang Mozarted, Lonesome Cowboy Daved, and MUHHED.

(Wait, maybe I'm describing myself.... NAAAAAAH.)

The Prophet Lilith

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> HILLARY VS. ELIZABETH DOLE!! CATFIGHT!!
>
> I say, GO FOR IT! CALL RUSS MEYER! I love to see politically active,
> thick-legged older weird-looking power women, in pictures in the news, a
> lot. MMMM.

It sure is a refreshment with old estuary pungence
to have a "hands-on" kind of a pastor fer a change!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <01be5181$f1dbd6a0$b41337a6@sweetpea>, "fred c. dobbs"
<cgbelcher@spamlesscwix.com> wrote:

> so you prefer the orthodoxy of the left. i consider that orthodoxy more of
> a threat to those fundamental things, "like our privacy, our right to think
> as we please, our freedom to fuck around and make human mistakes, our
> ability to disagree with those who would dictate the ONE TRUE BRAND of
> morality, and, in the end, our very lives", than what you perceive as a
> threat.
> as for worry about my pocketbook as opposed to my ass, you are flawed
> again. you couldn't be more wrong.

Oh, well, in that case, I stand corrected!

> your left is a threat to human liberties and dignities of all kinds and has
> demonstrated itself as such throughout history.

Just exactly how long has my left been around for? Just wondering.

>clinton is typical of the
> ilk... he can't tell the truth whether the issue is a sworn deposition or
> national policy.

Good thing no conservative politician ever fit that bill!

> if that is truly the way you want it, you certainly have it.
>

Very eloquently put! You have changed my mind completely, on the strength
of your argument!

((Man... I better be careful... if I keep this taunting up, pretty soon
there won't be any artists left here but me and that new guy, Tatro! And
P-Lil and all the other BABES. Hmmm... welll...))

HEY, C'MON, GIMME A BREAK! We limp-wristed faggy liberal homos have been
putting up with extremely insulting abuse from you Neanderthal trog he-man
conservatives for WEEKS now without hardly a peep. Now we spend TWO DAYS
niggling at your niggardly hides, and you get ALL IN A HUFF and SULKY.

SHEESH!

Again, I CHALLENGE you -- WHO HERE CAN TAKE THE JOKE???

Speaking of which -- I can't go into details, for obvious legal reasons,
but a good SubGenius friend of mine just lead a fight against a UNION that
was trying to take over the place of business in question -- AND S/HE
WON!!

You cannot IMAGINE what a SMALL TRIUMPH this was for the truth, justice,
and the American Way. No shit. The company in question was HALF UNION BY
DEFINITION, to BEGIN with, ANYWAY... a NEW AGE type of namby pamby
co-operative company. But it seems that even for co-op type NEW AGEY
STORES, there's a parasitical NEW AGEY UNION ready to jump in and,
TICK-LIKE, sap away at the employees and the owners both.

This is not to say that there aren't situations in which unions are
necessary! But for the most part it's a RACKET, pure and simple. It FUCKED
the Dallas film business and it was about to fuck, in a kinder, gentler
way, this single small business to which I refer.

But the board -- which may have been dominated by SubGenius and
SubGeniuslike influences -- INSISTED that the employees ALL BE ALLOWED TO
VOTE ON IT.

The union HATED THAT idea. VOTE? But that might turn out... anti-UNION!
UNTHINKABLE! The majority of the people might be NICE PEOPLE, but it's not
like they're really qualified to make such CRUCIAL DECISIONS.

Vote was held. Union was defeated. Union people were NOT good losers.
HATED the idea of a democratic decision to just LEAVE OUT any more
middle-men. JUST DIDN'T THINK IT WAS FAIR.

This fable represents but a mere macrocosm of a great struggle occurring
all around us, on a million levels, every day. It is the struggle of
adaptibility versus swift change. Thought and society is no more static
than evolution. In the end, the guy who kills everybody else first wins.

Wait, that wasn't exactly what I meant to say. This is such a delicate
subject, one doesn't want to be RASH.

What I'm saying is, FUCK THE CONSPIRACY!!!

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <050219991957547190%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

>
> Stang, I know you're not really into bondage and shit like that, but if
> you're really interested I do have that tape of Vanessa Del Rio, Tipper
> Gore, and Debbie Reynolds running a dungeon. I could also offer that
> old Super-8 I have of Lady Bird, but since you draw the line at
> Thatcher and Reno, I guess not....

Uh... (yanks at collar, coughs)... uh, did you say, Lady Bird?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <36BBB912.652116B@subgenius.com>, SiS D
<decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:

> > Well, we can only hope. I would LOVE to just lay back and watch a bunch of
> > rival Connietites duke it out for a change.


> Sorry my man, that's the beauty of being a true Connie-ite...we don't

Sis, it's no big deal, but don't you need to check your spelling dictionary?

----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

> You forgot a few--;;;;;
Joseph
> Pujolled,

JOSEPH PUJOLED???

NOOOoooooooo!

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <050219992030586654%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

> In article <36bda170.2601422@news.mindspring.com>, Whee!, The Lemurs
> <noemail@mindXspring.com> wrote:

> >
> > No - I'd already pegged Sis D as a knee-jerk liberal, but I
> > thought Stang had a little more sense and knowledge.
>
> Thanks for the laugh! Seriously, I'm still gasping for breath after
> that.

HEYY!!!! What's so funny?

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <friday-ya02408000R0502992250020001@news.tiac.net>,
friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:

> >MARK MY WORDS, you dupes!
> >
> >If it had been Friday Jones instead of Monica Lewinsky in that office back
> >in '96, today we'd be watching the pointless impeachment trial of
> >PRESIDENT FRIDAY JONES.
>
> Actually, you'd be watching Starr running away from the lions. Real lions.
> Hungry lions. Me in a brief toga, eating grapes and waving to the crowds
> ... actually my double, let her take the sniper's bullet for me!

> Also, as President I feel that holding murderers on Death Row for decades
> and decades is cruel. So, I will have them all shot, humanely, while they
> sleep.

What, and deny the lions a hearty meal? Don't you believe in animal liberation?

And what of virus liberation? You probably didn't even THINK about THEM,
DID YOU??

Do you liberate your e-coli regularly? NO? THEN WHAT KIND OF A SUBGENIUS
ARE YOU?? JUST ANOTHER GREEDY NONPYROFLATULATING GASBAG?

Friday, I can't believe this of you. I always thought you were
"subgeniusly correct."

Incidentally.. this "double"... do you have her phone number, offhand?

-
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BBB79F.4EB59164@subgenius.com>, SiS D
<decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> >
> > In article <36c01107.52790587@news.mindspring.com>, Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:
> >
> > > On Fri, 05 Feb 1999 15:17:18 GMT, SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>
expounded:
> > >

>
> Go baby, I'm just feeding him because it's fun tow atch all this. (I've
> never gotten to you know, this is my first really big, slightly
> angry-but-still-in-the-same-group kinda discussion/argument. I'm no
> longer a....*sniff*....virgin.
>

Me neither. I usually float above political arguments. INFLATED. RISEN.
GAZING DOWN upon the fidgetting midges, so to speak.

But these times are TOO INSANELY, GROTESQUELY, CARTOONISHLY DIVISIVE not
to just DIVE INTO, you know? And take full creative and bold surrealist
advantage of.

Heck, at BEST, even if the Xists DON'T show AGAIN, we only have, what, 10
months before Y2K forgets the K-Y, in which to POSTURE AND PISS like
territorial doggies! After that, it's all LEVEL GROUND, BABY! START FROM
SCRATCH! YEAR ZERO!

Hope you have your SWISS ARMY KNIFE on you! And plenty of D-CELLS!

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>

Don Tatro wrote:

> Rev. Ivan Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
> news:i.stang-0502991825140001@fcn105-243.tmi.net...
> >In article <79fu5p$25q$1@usenet43.supernews.com>, "Don Tatro"
> ><bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:
> >
> >
> >>
> >> >BWAHAHAHAHA!! Good one, Don. The fact that he thinks he can
> >> >lie and put whatever spin on it he wants speaks volumes about the
> >> >man's disdain for the people of this country. HE THINKS HE'S SMARTER
> >> >THAN EVERYONE ELSE. Ken Starr is smarter, Billy's just finding that
> >> >out now.
> >>
> >> Let me say it again: All politicians are liars and get ahead by
> hoodwinking
> >> the populous. In this respect, he's no different than, no better or no
> >> worse, than the righteous-acting zealots who are prosecuting him. They
> all
> >> think they're smarter than everyone else, and god help us, they are.
> >> >
> >
> >
> >That right there is indeed the most chilling aspect of it all.
> >
> >WHAT IF THEY REALLY ARE THAT MUCH SMARTER?
>

What if Don Chebo runs things out of a wine celler in Palermo?

You got a problem with that?

008
La Mano Negro

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BBC1D4.E34D7FAE@erols.com>,
"=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com> wrote:
>
> Not only do I NOT GIVE A SHIT
> about this entire dog and pony show,
> I'll be gall-danged if'n I'm buying the next round!
>
> See you mouldy trail bums at the chuck wagon in the AM.
> If you're too drunk to ride, either catch up, or eat trail bisquits!
>
> BAR-J

" Keep yer hat on tight, yer back to the wind, and yer sack in the saddle."

-- Lonesome Cowboy Chas, circa 1878

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <79ggcp$dkr$1@usenet49.supernews.com>, "Don Tatro"
<bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:

> >
> Keerect! Good ole' sappy George, the erstwhile head of the CIA, was
> definitely not one of the dummies. Still, give me a knowing George Bush any
> day over that real-life, ventriloquist dummy of a Vice-President he had. If
> you were at odds with George, he would certainly weigh the options and come
> to a considered opinion, but not so with the smugly, self-satisfied,
> blind-as-batshit Dan. Christ, he's so Bob-like that he still thinks he has a
> shot at the presidency.

And that's one of the most miraculous things about his historic time in
which we find ourselves. We get to watch DAN go for it, AGAIN. You KNOW
that's gonna be good.

What's scary is... he's SO "Bob"like, who knows -- he might HAVE a chance at it!

(And he's WELCOME TO IT!)

Ivan "You Can't Say Dallas Doesn't Love You Now, Jack" "KER-*BLAM!" Stang

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BBB6F3.FC03BE01@subgenius.com>, SiS D
<decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:

> > And praise GOD DAMNED LARRY FLYNT TOO! AND HOWARD STERN while we're at it.
> > LENNY BRUCE was not afraid. BILL HICKS LIVES! PRAISE FUCKIN' "BOB"!
>
> Praise Mae Fuckin' West!

Knew I was forgetting a major ingredient! THANKS!

HENDRIX IS FUCKING MARILYN DOGGIE-STYLE THREE WAYS OF SUNDAY IN HEAVEN!!
HAIL CONNIE AND BRAISE "POB"!

THE KARMA WILL BE BALANCED!

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BBB862.4E85261D@subgenius.com>, SiS D
<decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:
> >
> > <
> >
> > No - I'd already pegged Sis D as a knee-jerk liberal, but I
> > thought Stang had a little more sense and knowledge.
>
>
> Oh yeah, that's me. I AM a liberal. Knee jerk is just to your
> genitals, dear.

Swivel that knee over this way while you're at it, Mastress!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BBCB36.BFFE8E50@erols.com>,
"=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com> wrote:

> What if Don Chebo runs things out of a wine celler in Palermo?
>
> You got a problem with that?
>
> 008
> La Mano Negro

El Cellario del Don Chebo, INFLAGRANTE??

SE NO ESTA SE!!

>>>>>>YO TENGO EL MANO GREYO<<<<<<<

EL HIJO DEL EL DIABLO Y SU HERMOSA BONITA!!!

--
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

"Ignoring the shit in this church is like ignoring the sea
when you're stuck on Gilligan's Island."
-- Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <i.stang-0502992244290001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>
> HEYY!!!! What's so funny?

I thought lemurs would have a better clue of primate psychology than
that.

The Prophet Lilith

--

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>
>Don, 'ol buddy, I ain't attacking you - just wanna make that clear.
>We're just . . . *discussing* stuff, okay?

I never took it as an attack, Thought Cop. I thought we were having--what
would you call it?--an animated conversation.
>
>Now . . .

>
>Linda Tripp would be facing perjury charges if she lied under oath and
>said she didn't know about Billy's sperm-spewage. I don't *blame* her.
>Let Billy lie fer himself. No, I don't *like* her, she pulled the same
>shit on Bush, but she shouldn't have to lie to protect Billy from
>*his* enemies, whether real or imagined. Calling everyone else names
>doesn't mean Clinton didn't do these things he's accused of. We all
>KNOW he did them. He should have had the guts to "fight" as you
>put it seven months before he was forced into admitting it

Billy's lie was one blip in a much longer chain of events that started
several years earlier and came to a head when the Goldberg (was that her
name?) gal and Linda Tripp got together and hatched up a plot to do Clinton
in and make some big-time cash, in the process. Tripp's cover story was that
she only pulled off one of the greatest deceits and betrayals of all time to
fend off her having to lie under oath at some point in the future. About
what? If she hadn't ratted her friend off to Ken Starr, what would she
possibly have had to lie about? Bill and Monica would have kept their
hanky-panky secret and out of the Jone's debacle. Again, Clinton lied, but
in a context that changed the usual meaning of lying. You may not agree with
the way he fought back, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating. If he
had delivered himself up to his enemies at the time that they were
tightening the noose about his neck, they likely would have won. But whether
you like his tactics or not, he stood his ground--knowing full well what he
was really dealing with, which WAS a vast right-wing conspiracy, and, as
things now stand, near the end-game, some of his most powerful adversaries
have fallen by the wayside, he is more popular than ever, and he is on the
verge of being acquitted on the impeachment charges. I've been around
through a slew of presidencies, and I have never seen one with the
testicular fortitude to stand up for so long against the slavering horde and
PREVAIL.
>
>[snip]
>>. . . . They all
>>lie--oaths or not--day after day, in every conceivable way. Your
indignation
>>strikes me as naive.
>
>Dude, it's not my naivete - the man said over and over FOR MONTHS
>that he didn't do something everyone KNEW he did AND DIDN'T GIVE
>A SHIT ABOUT. Then he says, "Oh yeah, I did it. Fuck you all."

You clipped out what I was talking to, which was that Clinton is no
different than any other politician. They all lie through their teeth to us
every day in every way. So why are you so damned indignant about the fact
that he did, too. The only difference between him and the others is that he
got caught, and this probably wouldn' t have happened with him any more than
it does with the others, were it not for the existence of that damning
dress. Then, he referred to standard Political Science 101, which says that
when one is charged with something damaging to one's political career and
future, one shalt lie and LIE BIG, but should one get caught with one's hand
in the cookie jar, one has to step up to the rail, look the people square in
the eye, confess one's sins, express contrition, beg forgiveness, and
promise that one will never, never do it again, so help me God. That's what
they all do (a la Jimmy Swaggart) when they're caught with egg on their
face. The difference between most of them and Clinton, however, is that most
of them are not able to pull it off, but he is, time after time after time.
God, you've got to admire someone with that kind of hutzpah!
>
>I'm not indignant - I really don't give a shit. I find your defense of
>him rather humorous considering how you distort the facts to defend
>your position. "BIG BAD CHRISTIANS" fucking him over doesn't
>amount to a defense for his actions. Bush told everyone to mind their
>own damn business, and it GOT DROPPED.

Yeah, and while his connivings and deceits had to do with promoting warfare
and death, his sin was much less egregious than that of someone who had the
temerity to say under oath that he did not have what he considered to be
sexual relations with Monica Lewinski. Distortion is, of course, in the eye
of the beholder. I would argue--have argued--that defending yourself
aggressively against a destructive assault by enemies committed to your
downfall DOES IN FACT amount to a defense for his actions. You may choose to
ignore this salient piece of of the picture because it's absence makes the
whole thing come out the way you want it to, but it is there, like it or
not. Let me remind you, that doing what under most circumstanves would be
treated as a crime in self-defense against enemies out to do you mortal harm
is a LEGITIMATE defense in every court of the land. And you already said it,
you have no argument with people who would trump up charges to bring Bill
Clinton down. You're a Clinton hater, and I would wager that you were a
Clinton hater long before he told his horrible fib and finding other reasons
to justify his being brought down. So cut the bullfdada. Who's foolin' who?.
>
>I'll save this next paragraph of yours as "Exhibit A".
>
>>You don't get it. Billy is NOT any other person. It's not that he should
be
>>given special treatment because he is President, but that his situation
was
>>unlike any situation that you, I , or any other person is ever likely to
>>find ourselves in. Hence, he ought not be judged by the same standard that
>>apply and OUGHT to apply in the usual instance. He should be judged in
>>light of what was REALLY GOING ON at the time, which, as I argued, was a
>>monumental political gambit aimed at knocking the king from the throne and
>>grabbing hold of his power. The rules at this level of the game are very
>>diffrent than the rules that the little people play by, on both sides of
the
>>power structure, and those are the rules that guide the players' actions.
>>I'm not saying that this is right. I'm just saying that this is the
reality.
>
>[snip]
>
>>Aha! Now I begin to get it. You're one of those golderned gun nuts, who is
>>out to get anyone who would deign to deprive you of the right to have as
>>many and whatever kind of weapons you want. Again, everything any
politician
>>does, no matter what side of an issue he or she is on, is always "spun" to
>>play to people who are either frightened of some menace, angry as hell
about
>>some cause, or wanting to wrap themselves in all the common virtues.
>
>What I failed to convey to you was that people are being routinely
>stopped and searched FOR NO REASON! Not stopped for speeding,
>drunk driving - just STOPPED. This is WRONG, as is the recent shit
>they're pulling here in VA - stopping people looking for "drunk
>drivers". IT'S WRONG, because the next step is "Papers, please!"
>
>They're also road-blocking for - get this - NOT WEARING YOUR
>SEATBELT. Seems they're pissed off at all that "non-compliance"
>going on out there.
>
>But the socialists will point a finger and say "There's something
>wrong with ANYONE who doesn't want to get rid of Drunk Drivers.
>IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! AND THEY'RE NOT WEARING
>THEIR SEATBELTS EITHER!" That's never a good reason to
>trample people's rights - ostensibly to protect them from themselves.

Find my other post in this thread that speaks to this subject. What we have
to fear is not big government, not bullshit spewing politicians, in general,
but the RULE OF LAW--that is, when the power grabbers wrap themselves in the
mantle of truth, justice, and the American way and USE THE LAW to force
others to submit to their idea of what is right and wrong and in the public
interest-- that is, when they USE THE RULE OF LAW TO RULE.. I don't fear
Bill Clinton one-one-hundreth as much as I fear the Ken Starrs of this
world, who use the law as a weapon to hound people into submission and
destroy life after life in wanton pursuit of political advantage and power.
A lot of my work occurs in the courtroom, where people are being prosecuted
by overly zealous DA's who are out to make a reputation for themselves and
get ahead politically, and they don't care what rights they trample on or
how many lives they destroy to get to where they're going. They wouldn't
think twice about sending an innocent person to the gas chamber if they
thought it might get them elected to higher office. Many of the police are
the same way. They don't give a shit whether they've got the right guy, or
not, they just want to close the case and get a conviction. I've seen
horrible examples of how the police and Ken Starr type prosecutors have
actively colluded to wring confessions from and get convictions of people
whom they had every reason to suspect were innocent and, as it turned out,
were. You may think it is the namby-pamby, bleeding-heart liberals with
their politically correct agendas that are out to deprive you of your
freedoms--and they would if they could--but they're not the one's who have
hold of the reins of power and influence. They're not the ones who have hold
of the weapons and who are really out to deprive you of your freedoms by
holding themselves out as defenders of your rights, protectors of your
families and communities, and champions of individuality and
self-determination. What you have to fear is the unbridled power of a police
state, and it is those who habitually hide their power-grabbing behind
righteous platitudes, play to peoples prejudices and hatreds, and use the
RULE OF LAW TO RULE that will end up giving you the police state you dread.
We both are set against this kind of outcome, but I believe it's the people
you are defending so forcefully who are most likely to bring it to pass.
>
>Nice try, Don. Yeah, I got lotsa guns, but I'm no "nut". Here in VA
>you can get whatcha want with just a driver's license. And calling
>me names doesn't help with your weak argument. Sorry.

That wasn't meant to be name calling (Y'know, if you can't take a joke...).
It's just, as Archy Bunker used to say, "a well-known fact" that there are
few groups who are as passionate about their right to not have a single
armor-piercing bullet withheld from them as gun activists, and, because
Clinton has been the only President with guts enough to stand up to the
powerful NRA lobby, he is widely reviled by gun lovers. They hate his ass
because he has dared to take a stand against letting any old asshole put
together his own private arsenal. I'm saying this from the point of view of
a longtime gun owner and a person who believes that guns have a place in a
free society, but also as a person who works every day with people who have
committed murder and mayhem because guns are everywhere. I'm here to inform
you that the solution does not lie wholly with taking guns away from
crimimals and putting the bad guys behind bars. I've sat across from
hundreds of murderers in the past twenty years, and a good proportion of
them were NRA-card-holding gun lovers, who, in the heat of argument, or in
response to something that made them feel weak and wimpy reached out for
their favorite pacifier and used it. Again, I have to admire Clinton for his
guts and willingness to take on the most powerful of enemies. It would have
been a lot easier to sidestep the issue as every President before him did.

>>>That one statement proved to me this dangerous man should be
>>>taken down ANY WAY POSSIBLE - including a trumped up charge
>>>that ANY OTHER AMERICAN would wind up in jail for.
>>
>>And now we get to the bottom line, which is that you sympathize with and
>>support people who would TRUMP UP charges and go after and destroy someone
>>with whom they disagreed politically. I ask you, which is worse, someone
who
>>would tell a little lie about his private sexual behavior under oath or
>>someone who would LIE BIG TIME by trumping up charges and using the lie
and
>>the protective coloration of the RULE OF LAW to cynically, hypocritically
>>destroy another person? My answer, of course, is that I would have no
>>trouble turning my back on a person who did the former, but I'd always
keep
>>my back in a corner when around the latter.
>>
>>I rest my case.
>
>I never said I agreed with what was going on, Don. Not that I'm not
>glad he's being hung by the very laws he sought to have passed,
>but hey - dying by your own sword used to be considered honorable.

I quote: "Proved to me that this dangerous man should be taken down any way
possible, including a trumped up charge..."
Sounds to me like you were saying you agreed with it. Hell, yeah, you're
glad. You were one of the ones out to get him before you had the "trumped
up" charge to vindicate your vendetta.
>
>Your paragraph labeled "Exhibit A" points out the serious deficits in
>your thinking, and therefore your argument. "Clinton is not a mere
>mortal subject to the same laws as everyone else, but an embattled
>idealist who must protect himself from The Christian Zealots out to
>destroy him." I see that now. Thanks.

I've already dealt with this. Self-defense against people out to destroy you
IS a legitimate defense of what, under usual circumstances, would be
considered illegal behavior. Clinton's problem when it comes to mounting
this defense is that the whole out-to-get-him-movement is a shadowy, hidden,
behind-the-scenes kind of thing. He knows it's there. Most of the public
knows it's there, But because it won't come out of hiding and has managed a
cover-up that puts Bill's covering up of his sexual hijinks to shame, he
cannot use it as an up-front defense. The whole sorry battle has to be
fought backstage, as it were, while the general public is spoonfed an
alternative version of what's really going on--from the combatants on both
sides.
>
I don't know if you said it or if it was Konig, but, at this point, I'm
willing to say "Fuck it, let's go make some pics," too. But then maybe you
don't want to leave me with the last say. If not, have one more shot, and
I'll leave the last say to you.

Don

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <050219992218426293%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von

> > > > Well, we can only hope. I would LOVE to just lay back and watch a
bunch of
> > > > rival Connietites duke it out for a change.
> >
> > > Sorry my man, that's the beauty of being a true Connie-ite...we don't
> >
> > Sis, it's no big deal, but don't you need to check your spelling dictionary?
>
> I suspect she put the hyphen in there to clue you in on how you spell
> "Connieite". Hey, don't sweat it.

Well, "don't have a mooncow about it, Dr. Cavor," but I believe the New
Webster's spells that quite clearly as "CONNIETITE." The same way, I might
hasten to ADD, that DOBBS HIMSELF spelled it in that one memo.

It's helpful to think of the word as being more ACCURATELY DESCRIPTIVE this way.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

[[ This message was both posted and mailed: see
the "To," "Cc," and "Newsgroups" headers for details. ]]

In article <i.stang-0502992316130001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> HEY, C'MON, GIMME A BREAK! We limp-wristed faggy liberal homos have been
> putting up with extremely insulting abuse from you Neanderthal trog he-man
> conservatives for WEEKS now without hardly a peep. Now we spend TWO DAYS
> niggling at your niggardly hides, and you get ALL IN A HUFF and SULKY.
>
> SHEESH!

Actually, I know exactly where the anti-Clinton whiners can vent their
spleen. There's this guy here in Seattle named Max Englerious--truth!
--who has founded what he calls the American Tradition Party. He's got
a public access show for the ATP, where he dresses like a community
college history professor and, in an even yet extremely bitter tone of
voice, rants for a half-hour, typically about whatever "there aughta be
a law" inanity is on his mind. This time around he focused mainly on
three issues. One, how Chinese waiters will pad your bill and speak in
pidgin. Two, how bitches--his word--are ruining America. Three, how
Clinton's getting screwed by Congress. Yeah, he's pro-Clinton, but the
REST of his platform aught to get this newsgroup excited. So here's the
plan. The next American Tradition Party show is on March 2 from 10-11
PM Pacific time. And they take call-ins. The number's 206-421-5004. Or
leave a message for the ATP at 206-322-5500. I'll tape the show if
anyone wants to call in.

FTITCTAJ.

The Prophet Lilith

--
Popess Lilith von Fraumench * http://come.to/p.lil
Hey Seattle SubGenii! Go to http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com
==If reality doesn't make you LAUGH, then TAKE THE GODDAMN CLOWN NOSE OFF!==

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>

Popess Lilith von Fraumench wrote:

> In article <i.stang-0502992247390001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
> Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>
> > In article <36BBB912.652116B@subgenius.com>, SiS D
> > <decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:
> >
> > > > Well, we can only hope. I would LOVE to just lay back and watch a bunch of
> > > > rival Connietites duke it out for a change.
> >
> > > Sorry my man, that's the beauty of being a true Connie-ite...we don't
> >
> > Sis, it's no big deal, but don't you need to check your spelling dictionary?
>
> I suspect she put the hyphen in there to clue you in on how you spell
> "Connieite". Hey, don't sweat it.
>
> The Prophet Lilith
>
> --
>

Hey! Pinky Poof Princess!

Yo! Wassup wit shew?

Hongh?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <i.stang-0502992249590001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> In article <050219991957547190%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
> Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> wrote:
>
> > Stang, I know you're not really into bondage and shit like that, but if
> > you're really interested I do have that tape of Vanessa Del Rio, Tipper
> > Gore, and Debbie Reynolds running a dungeon. I could also offer that
> > old Super-8 I have of Lady Bird, but since you draw the line at
> > Thatcher and Reno, I guess not....
>
> Uh... (yanks at collar, coughs)... uh, did you say, Lady Bird?

It's a REALLY bad print. And her main, uh, partner kinda reminds me of
Peter Lorre, but I don't think he was alive at the time. So you
*probably* don't want to see it. It's kinda sordid, you know.

But maybe I can get a good price for the reel some day. Who knows?

-------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

I have the Chuck Berry potty tapes. SWAP?

You don't have the "OLD LORRE -- YOUNG SCHWARZENEGGER" tape do you?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "fred c. dobbs" <cgbelcher@spamlesscwix.com>

hey brother, you've changed my mind completely, on the strength of your
eloquent argument!

Rev. Ivan Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote in article
<i.stang-0502992316130001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>...
> In article <01be5181$f1dbd6a0$b41337a6@sweetpea>, "fred c. dobbs"
> <cgbelcher@spamlesscwix.com> wrote:
>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

>In article <050219992249279838%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
>Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> wrote:
>
>> In article <i.stang-0502992249590001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
>> Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>>
>> > In article <050219991957547190%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
>> > Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> wrote:
>> >
>> > > Stang, I know you're not really into bondage and shit like that, but if
>> > > you're really interested I do have that tape of Vanessa Del Rio, Tipper
>> > > Gore, and Debbie Reynolds running a dungeon. I could also offer that
>> > > old Super-8 I have of Lady Bird, but since you draw the line at
>> > > Thatcher and Reno, I guess not....
>> >
>> > Uh... (yanks at collar, coughs)... uh, did you say, Lady Bird?
>>
>> It's a REALLY bad print. And her main, uh, partner kinda reminds me of
>> Peter Lorre, but I don't think he was alive at the time. So you
>> *probably* don't want to see it. It's kinda sordid, you know.

Are you saying that Peter Lorre was dead at the time, or that her partner
was dead at the time?
Unclear - elucidate! Dilute! Dilute!

--
"All they ever did was clutch and fly and tickle; that was the way of
night-gaunts."
- The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, H.P. Lovecraft

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

>Popess Lilith von Fraumench wrote:
>
>> In article <i.stang-0502992247390001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
>> Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>>
>> > In article <36BBB912.652116B@subgenius.com>, SiS D
>> > <decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:
>> >
>> > > > Well, we can only hope. I would LOVE to just lay back and watch a
bunch of
>> > > > rival Connietites duke it out for a change.
>> >
>> > > Sorry my man, that's the beauty of being a true Connie-ite...we don't
>> >
>> > Sis, it's no big deal, but don't you need to check your spelling
dictionary?
>>
>> I suspect she put the hyphen in there to clue you in on how you spell
>> "Connieite". Hey, don't sweat it.

I actually like the spelling "Connietite." Although
Connieya-ieya-ieya-ieya-tite would be great to SAY.

--
"All they ever did was clutch and fly and tickle; that was the way of
night-gaunts."
- The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, H.P. Lovecraft

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "fred c. dobbs" <cgbelcher@spamlesscwix.com>

'nuff said

> Yeah, he's pro-Clinton
>
> The Prophet Lilith

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Poindexter" <poindexter@subgenius.com>

In article <79fctd$n4j$1@usenet42.supernews.com>, Don Tatro
<bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:

> it's always been
> all about, is POLITICS and POWER, and, if that hasn't gotten through to you
> watching the House proceedings and much of what has gone on in the Senate,
> then I want you as one of my rubes the next time I'm motivated to something
> over.

Of course it's about politics and power. Unfortunately the Repubs do
have Clintoon over a barrel, and they're too chickenshit to dunk him.
So Bill wins by default. He's a slimy creep, but a MASTER politician.
Gotta admire how he's able to wiggle out of these things HE gets
himself into. It'll be interesting to see what kind of non-punishment
they slap him with, and how pouty for the cameras he is after it's
over.

Fuck all of this. Lets make some pitchurs!!!

RP

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindXspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

This might be a bit complicated for those accustomed to teevee
sound bites and pink media encapsulations, but it'll show that
socialist/feminist/liberals wanted, and got, expanded legal
definitions of "sexual harassment" that made consensual sex
"relevant to the subject matter" and subject to public legal
inquiry - including consensual sexual behavior of people not
even accused of anything (i.e. Lewinski).

On Fri, 05 Feb 1999 14:46:26 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) expounded:

<In article <36c11353.53378313@news.mindspring.com>, Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:
<
<
<> I was quite surprised by his pitiful ignorance on these issues.
<
<
<I knew you were gonna say that!
<
<You International Socialist Far-Middle Radioactivites are always so predictable!
<
<There's a whole FOREST made from all those trees, man! STEP BACK! INFLATE
<and RISE! Get a bird's eye view!
<
<Go ahead and INFORM ME! But please... I'm wise to the Limbaughesque

No problem, read on - thot it was pretty much common knowledge.

<lies-by-omission trick, okay? I admit he's BRILLIANT at it. But don't
<waste your time overloading me with HALF of the ZILLION FACTS, unless
<you're gonna toss in the OTHER zillion.

Here's what you incorrectly claimed: that religious nuts were behind
the intrusive (sexual harassment) laws that got Klintoon in trouble
in the first place - laws that made his affair open to legal scrutiny.
I claim that it's just the opposite, that it's the feminist/socialist/
liberals, including Klintoon, who favor and authored the intrusive laws
and policies.

I happen to think that it's absolutely ludicrous that having an adult
man pull his dick out in front of an adult woman (if that actually
happened - maybe she just made it up) is the basis for a federal lawsuit,
but Klintoon doesn't think so.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
On Thu, 04 Feb 1999 22:07:31 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
expounded:
[...]
<But then, I'm a HIPPIE-TYPE, and I kind of hate to see religious nuts make
<laws governing my DICK based on ANCIENT TRIBAL FAIRY TALES. I also sorta
<thought there was some kind of PRO-PRIVACY thing about our form of
<government at one point.
[me:]
There used to be, but part of my point is that it's most definitely
NOT the religious nuts who write and support these stupid laws, it's
the feminists/socialists - namely Klintoon himself: Klintoon claims
that this sort of activity IS the government's business.

Again: it's the feminist/socialists, like Klintoon, who advocate
more government interference and control in your private life.
++++++++++++++++++++++++

I will now demonstrate that what I said is correct and what you
said is incorrect (yer damn right I'm obnoxious) mostly with
primary source and just one "news" report to speed it up.

"COMPLAINT
Plaintiff Paula Corbin Jones, by counsel, brings this action to
obtain redress for the deprivation and conspiracy to deprive
Plaintiff of her federally protected rights as hereafter alleged,
and for intentional infliction of emotional distress, and for
defamation."
for his supposedly pulling out his dick and then spreading rumors
about her, and
"53. Clinton, a member of the Arkansas State Bar, knew or should
have known on May 8, 1991, and thereafter, that Arkansas law provides
that harassment, including the touching or attempt or threat to do
so which subjects the victim to offensive or potentially offensive
physical contact, is a criminal violation of Arkansas Code Annotated
5-71-208."(Supp. 1995)
and
"65. The above-described actions of Clinton were undertaken when
he was acting under the color of state law, as Governor of Arkansas,
and said actions deprived Jones of federal equal protection and due
process rights guaranteed by the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments of
the United State Constitution, and made actionable by 42 U.S.C.
$1983 (The Civil Rights Act)."

http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/cra91.html
The Civil Rights Act of 1991
[...]
PURPOSES
SEC. 3 [42 U.S.C. 1981 note]
The purposes of this Act are-
(1) to provide appropriate remedies for intentional discrimination
and unlawful harassment in the workplace;
(exactly what Jones accused Klintoon of)

And of course supported by NOW:
(one of 2269 "sexual harassment" pages at now.org)
http://www.now.org/nnt/10-97/court.html?NS-search-set=/36bbe/aaaa00223bbe7f7&NS-doc-offset=19&
"Public outrage followed the attacks against Anita Hill and forever
changed the way we deal with sexual harassment. Congress passed the
Civil Rights Act of 1991 which, because of NOW's intervention and
advocacy, for the first time gave women and people of color the right
to a trial by jury and the right to receive damages in employment
discrimination cases under Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act.
The record number of women elected to Congress in 1992 were in part
the result of women's response to Hill's treatment by the Senate.

Unfortunately, there was a negative impact as well. With the stakes
raised, defense lawyers had a great incentive to go on the offensive
with vicious personal attacks against women plaintiffs in courtrooms
throughout the country. And the pattern continues today.
[...]
[Patricia] Ireland argues that the merits of the claims against
Clinton are important, but that the larger question is how women who
battle sexual harassment are treated. While Jones' motives for suing
the president may be questionable, "Her allegations must be taken
seriously. Both she and the president deserve their day in court,"
Ireland said."
(She must be part of that heavily advertised "right wing conspiracy")

...and a couple from the horses mouth...

http://www.pub.whitehouse.gov/uri-res/I2R?urn:pdi://oma.eop.gov.us/1993/2/11/2.text.1
(Klintoon speech)
"I believe there ought to be the strictest code of behavioral
conduct applicable here. I also believe there ought to be an
even stricter code applicable to sexual harassment, whether
homosexual or heterosexual. The biggest sexual problem in the
armed services, according to the men and women who talked to
me, involves heterosexual harassment."
(no doubt worse than getting shot at)

http://www.pub.whitehouse.gov/uri-res/I2R?urn:pdi://oma.eop.gov.us/1998/11/4/8.text.1
(Press conference)
"The President fought for and signed the Violence Against Women Act,
(special rights and laws for certain people and not others)
as part of the 1994 Crime Act. For the first time, the federal
government adopted a comprehensive approach to fighting domestic
violence and violence against women, combining tough new penalties
with the programs to prosecute offenders and help women victims of
violence. The passage of the Violence Against Women Act was a crucial
turning point in our national effort to break the cycle of domestic
violence.
[...]
(VAWA made inquisition into Jone's past, as part of Klintoon's
defense, illegal, and also federalized some aspects of "harassment";
not to mention that "offensive touching", such as Jones accused
Klintoon of, is generally considered a 3rd degree misdemeanor
assault, namely "violence against women" - the complete VAWA
travesty is at www.usdoj.gov)

And finally here's the connection between the charges of non-consensual
contact/intimidation ("sexual harassment"), and Klintoon being
interrogated about consensual behavior with someone else:

"Historically, there's been an equation between the private
sphere and freedom, or the absence of government intervention,"
said Georgetown University law professor Michael Seidman.
"One of the things that the feminist movement did quite
effectively was to demonstrate that that equation was not always
an accurate one. . . . What that has led to is a blurring of
the lines between public and private and more of a readiness to
police what was once the private sphere."
[...]
In one sense, Starr is focusing on serious allegations that
relate directly to the integrity of the legal system: Did the
president lie under oath, suborn perjury and obstruct justice?
But at the same time his inquiry involves quintessentially
private matters -- sex, which if it occurred, took place between
two apparently consenting adults -- that have only been wrenched
into public view by the existence of the Jones litigation and
the broad discovery that has been permitted in that case.
[...]
The Federal Rules of Civil Procedure permit almost unlimited
inquiry into anything "relevant to the subject matter involved
in the pending action"; the evidence sought does not itself have
to be admissible at trial so long as "it appears reasonably
calculated to lead to the discovery of admissible evidence."

Because Jones's lawyers argue that Clinton has a history of
using state troopers to procure women for him, and a pattern of
inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace, the judge
overseeing the case has allowed them wide latitude to question
other women alleged to have had relationships with Clinton.
[...]
Washington University law professor Jane Aiken, who has represented
sexual harassment plaintiffs, said that the Jones case was atypical
because most women claiming sexual harassment do not have the
resources to engage in such an intensive search for other possible
victims.
(Washington Post, Sunday, February 22, 1998; Page A20)

The "Federal Rules of Civil Procedure" are at:
http://www.law.cornell.edu:80/rules/frcp/overview.htm

Thus -
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/special/pjones/docs/inter2.htm
"SECOND SET OF INTERROGATORIES
FROM PLAINTIFF TO DEFENDANT CLINTON
TO: William Jefferson Clinton
Pursuant to Rules 26 and 33 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure,
Plaintiff Paula Jones hereby propounds the following written
interrogatories to you. You are required to serve a written response,
in full compliance with the applicable rules of procedure, on or
before Monday, November 3, 1997.
[...]
INTERROGATORY NO. 10: Please state the name, address, and telephone
number of each and every individual (other than Hillary Rodham
Clinton) with whom you had sexual relations when you held any of
the following positions:
a. Attorney General of the State of Arkansas;
b. Governor of the State of Arkansas;
c. President of the United States.
ANSWER:
(blank space for felonious response)"
[...]

Q. fucking E.D.

<
<The issue is NOT simple. Very few things are actually simple. Well,
<billions of humans are, maybe.

Nor all that complicated - just the unintended consequences
of short-sighted social engineering polices based on false
premises.

Socialist/feminist/liberals wanted, and got, expanded legal
definitions of "sexual harassment" that made consensual sex
"relevant to the subject matter": this is part of the feminist
codification of Victorianism and sexual repression, and it's
just begging to be abused; it's dicksimple politics that
Klintoon's opponents would abuse it, just as Clarence Thomas'
opponents did - "He talked about...about...PUBIC HAIR (there
I said it!) and offended my delicate little girly ears!!"

Thanks to liberals, what used to be a crude remark or advance
that was mebbe worthy of a slap has literally become a federal
case worthy of involving the consensual sex acts of people not
even involved - and the slap worthy of spending the night in
jail.
And not a religious nut in sight: socialist police state.

<Let's see who can keep their senses of humor on this, and who are gonna
<sound like Ayatollahs.
<
<5-4-3-2-1.... GO!

Why? Who gives a shit? It's all just dotz in a recktangle...
and Usenet's not any better.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

Stang, you are funny in and of yourself, I think. You're like watching a
big woolly caterpillar stand up on its six hind legs, wave its fuzzy head
high in the air, and declare itself Lord and Master of all it surveys!
And then, the Lady Bird EATS HIM.
And I film it.

--
"All they ever did was clutch and fly and tickle; that was the way of
night-gaunts."
- The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, H.P. Lovecraft

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> In article <friday-ya02408000R0502991911140001@news.tiac.net>,
> friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:
>
> If it had been Friday Jones instead of Monica Lewinsky in that office back
> in '96,

They would be calling him President "Bobbit".

----------------------------------------------------------------------

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From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.politics,alt.sex,alt.binaries.slack,alt.gothic
Subject: Re: Letter to the President - It needed to be said
Date: Sat, 06 Feb 1999 09:25:52 -0400
Organization: PARTS
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In article <i.stang-0502992322410001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>,
i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:

>In article <friday-ya02408000R0502992250020001@news.tiac.net>,
>friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:
>
>> >MARK MY WORDS, you dupes!
>> >
>> >If it had been Friday Jones instead of Monica Lewinsky in that office back
>> >in '96, today we'd be watching the pointless impeachment trial of
>> >PRESIDENT FRIDAY JONES.
>>
>> Actually, you'd be watching Starr running away from the lions. Real lions.
>> Hungry lions. Me in a brief toga, eating grapes and waving to the crowds
>> ... actually my double, let her take the sniper's bullet for me!
>
>> Also, as President I feel that holding murderers on Death Row for decades
>> and decades is cruel. So, I will have them all shot, humanely, while they
>> sleep.
>
>What, and deny the lions a hearty meal? Don't you believe in animal liberation?
>
>And what of virus liberation? You probably didn't even THINK about THEM,
>DID YOU??
>
>Do you liberate your e-coli regularly? NO? THEN WHAT KIND OF A SUBGENIUS
>ARE YOU?? JUST ANOTHER GREEDY NONPYROFLATULATING GASBAG?

Stang, you are the LAST person I thought would accuse me of not liberating
my E. Coli.
Really.
And after we shoot all of the murderers, we can feed 'em to the lions. I
don't want any of them clawing at the lions' eyes and maybe hurting them.
Being fed ALIVE to the lions would be reserved for those who dared to move
against Me.

--
"All they ever did was clutch and fly and tickle; that was the way of
night-gaunts."
- The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, H.P. Lovecraft

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From: "Rev. Poindexter" <poindexter@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.politics,alt.sex,alt.binaries.slack,alt.gothic
Subject: Re: Letter to the President - It needed to be said
Date: Sat, 06 Feb 1999 02:42:55 -0500
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In article <i.stang-0502991901290001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> And while we're at it -- WHAT WOULD FRANK CAPRA SAY???
>
> What would FRANK god damned CAPRA think, to gaze upon the SORRY SPECTACLE
> in which we find ourselves?
>
> ("Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" and "It's a Wonderful Life" being two of
> my all time favorite movies, ACTUAL REAL INSPIRATIONS that have kept me
> going when all seemed lost -- NO SHIT, sorry if I'm a sucker for
> schmaltz.)
>
> What would Frank ZAPPA say,

So now you trot out Franks? Dammit Stangie, you know where to hit where
it hurts.

Pitchurs! More Pitchurs!!

RP

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From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>
Newsgroups: alt.politics,alt.sex,alt.binaries.slack,alt.gothic
Subject: Re: Letter to the President - It needed to be said
Date: Sat, 6 Feb 1999 03:59:21 -0700
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>And while we're at it -- WHAT WOULD FRANK CAPRA SAY???
>
>What would FRANK god damned CAPRA think, to gaze upon the SORRY SPECTACLE
>in which we find ourselves?

He might say something like this:

Jimmy Stewart

Weaahll now, fellas, hold on, there. I... I... well, gosh, what I mean is,
I'd like to think that in this wonderful Country of ours a fella could
still get an even break, even if he got lost somewhere along the line and
made some pretty bad mistakes. I, I, I mean, well, isn't that what we're
supposed to be all about, giving everyone an even break, from the least of
us to the best of us?

I'm reminded of Ole Pete, from back home in Peevy Valley. He was the town
drunk, ya know, and a laughingstock, but one day Ole Pete got tired of
the kind of life he was livin', and he decided he was gonna do something
different with himself, and -- Dya know what? Dya know what? By golly, it
could only happen here in America -- well, sir, the people who used to laugh
at Ole Pete stopped laughing and poking fun at him, and they offered him a
helping hand. And after awhile they forgot he had been the town drunk and an
such an embarrassment to everyone. The good, warm-hearted, fair-minded
people of Peevy Valley gave Ole Pete an even break, you see, and, uh, uh,
uh, the point of the story is... Weeahll, I, I , I guess a lot of you
already know the point: Ole Pete is now the much loved and respected senior
Senator Peter Stanley Hastings from the State of Iowa.

Edward Arnold

Yes, yes, yes, that's all very interesting. We all honor and respect Senator
Hastings, but this has nothing to do with the business before us. We're here
to deal with a most serious issue. We have a President who lied to the
people, and it is our God-given obligation as defenders of the truth and the
rule of law to see that this dereliction of oath and office does not go
unpunished. I suggest, Representative Young, that you yield the floor, so
that we can get on with the matter at hand.

Jimmy Stewart

Well, wait just a golderned minute there, Mr. Representative Stern, I'm not
finished. I've got something more to say, and, by golly, as long as I've got
the breath in me, I, I , I'm gonna say it and say it and say it, and, if
nobody in this hallowed chamber will listen to me, weaahll, then, I'll
climb to the top of the Washington Monument, by George, and shout it from
there.

Edward Arnold

(Aside to grey-haired, bored-looking legislator to his right) These young,
idealistic, wet-behind-the-ears pups! It's a shame that some of them have to
be here a few years before they learn how things work and fall in line. I
wonder how long we're going to have to suffer this upstart?

Jimmy Stewart

(Going on, but no one is listening) Hey, c'mon fellas, whatever happened to
fair play, giving a guy a second chance, letting the kid who struck out get
up to bat again, giving the poor stiff who has fallen down a helping hand
up, making sure that everyone gets a honest hearing.....

Cut to an open portico high up on the Capitol Dome. It is Christmas Eve and
the snow is falling heavily. The sounds of Christmas carols can be heard
drifting on the cold night air. Young Rep. Young, deeply disillusioned and
thinking he has nothing left to live for, is standing alone, leaning over
the railing and looking at the Capitol steps far below. He raises his left
leg to step over, when a voice calls out from behind him.

Jean Arthur
No, Mr. Representative, no! Don't do it! They'll listen! They HAVE
listened! Look! Here they come! You're not a failure. You've succeeded. Your
courage, your example, your refusal to give up your ideals has made them
remember what is was that brought them into politics. Don't give up now,
Mr. Representative. You've won! They've decided not to indict the
President.

Edward Arnold:

(Separating himself from the crowd of legislators and walking forward, face
softened and smiling) How can you ever a forgive this foolish old man? I
didn't realize that I had lost touch so completely with the human values,
the real American values, that inspired me to want to do something for my
Country when I was still a young turk, but, thanks to you, my friend, my
eyes have been opened and I've got my idealistic fervor burning again. By
God, I feel like a new man. I feel young again. Can you believe it, I feel
like dancing! And I owe it all to you. (Turning and waving to crowd behind
them) We all do.

Another figure separates from the crowd and walks up to Rep. Young. It's the
President of the United States. He pauses, looks Rep. Young straight in the
eye for a long, unwavering moment, bites his lower lip, and then steps
foward and gives him a great big hug.

Bubba:
I can't thank you enough, Mr. Representative. Words cannot express my
gratitude. I hope you know what you've done. You've not only saved my
Presidency, but you've saved the institution of the Presidency and averted a
constitutional crisis that could have shaken the foundations of the
Republic. I don't have words enough to tell you how proud I am of you, how
proud the American people are of you. You're a genuine American hero.

The sounds of Christmas carols getting closer and louder.

Jimmy Stewart:

Weaahll, gee whiz, I, uh, don't know about that, Mr. President. Golly, I, I
, I... I don't know what to say. Ah, heck, I'm not ashamed to say it. It
what's we're all about, Mr. President. I mean, we the people, you, me, those
congressmen, and all the other decent, honest,caring people who want only
what's right for themselves, their families, and their neighbors in that
city down there and, yes, in every city, town, village, and hamlet across
this great big, beautiful Country of ours.

Mr. President, it could only happen in America.

The sound of Christmas Carols fill the night as the camera pans to the
majestic Washington monument and holds.

Fade to END

Then again, he might not say anything that even comes close.

Don

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From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>
Newsgroups: alt.politics,alt.sex,alt.binaries.slack,alt.gothic
Subject: Re: Letter to the President - It needed to be said
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>
>
> THE KARMA WILL BE BALANCED!
>
> --

Will the Karma
Be Imbalanced?
By and by--
Oh, "Bob"
By and by--

There's a Pleasure Saucer
Coming to take me
To the Sky-
To the Sky!

It's "Bobedelic!"

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From: "Rev. Poindexter" <poindexter@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.politics,alt.sex,alt.binaries.slack,alt.gothic
Subject: Re: Letter to the President - It needed to be said
Date: Sat, 06 Feb 1999 02:39:54 -0500
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In article <79fu5p$25q$1@usenet43.supernews.com>, Don Tatro
<bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:

> As almost every legal expert worth a damn has
> testified, a mistruth of this sort in a civil suit would never be brought to
> court, since it would almost surely be tossed out, or, if not, the suit
> would be lost

Don, it went to the Supreme Court of the US of A.

There aren't any legal experts that count above that. Billy put 3 of
the them in there himself and they ruled against him. Is that a
Falwellian right wing plot too?

RP

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From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>
Newsgroups: alt.politics,alt.sex,alt.binaries.slack,alt.gothic
Subject: Re: Letter to the President - It needed to be said
Date: Sat, 6 Feb 1999 01:19:13 -0700
Organization: Posted via RemarQ, http://www.remarQ.com - Discussions start here!
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Rev,

I wasn't referring to his having to stand trial in the civil suit brought by
Paula Jones, which the Supreme Court did rule on. I was referring to the
allegation of perjury being commited in a deposition around a matter
completely peripheral to what he was being accused of in the Jones case. If
he was lying when he said that he did not pull down his pants and ask Paula
Jones to give him head and it could have been proved that he was lying, this
is the kind of perjury that people end up in jail for. The lie is central to
and patently material to the plaintif's allegations. What most legal experts
have had to say about his saying that he did not have what he considered to
be sex with Monica Lewinsky (who had nothing to do with the Paula Jones
matter), under the definition he was given by Jones' lawyers and the judge,
and then defending his having said it later in the grand jury proceedings is
that no ethical prosecutor or prosecuter worth his salt would ever seek to
indict anyone for perjury on a matter like this, and, if one did, it would
almost surely be thrown out of court.

That's what I said. So my thesis that Clinton fell victim to a right-wing,
Falwellsian conspiracy has been done no damage.

Don

From: Rev. Poindexter <poindexter@subgenius.com>
Subject: Re: Letter to the President - It needed to be said
Date: Saturday, February 06, 1999 12:39 AM

In article <79fu5p$25q$1@usenet43.supernews.com>, Don Tatro
<bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:

> As almost every legal expert worth a damn has
> testified, a mistruth of this sort in a civil suit would never be brought
to
> court, since it would almost surely be tossed out, or, if not, the suit
> would be lost

Don, it went to the Supreme Court of the US of A.

There aren't any legal experts that count above that. Billy put 3 of
the them in there himself and they ruled against him. Is that a
Falwellian right wing plot too?

RP
Rev. Poindexter <poindexter@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:poindexter-060219990239545596@ppp12d.inetone.net...
>In article <79fu5p$25q$1@usenet43.supernews.com>, Don Tatro
><bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:
>
>> As almost every legal expert worth a damn has
>> testified, a mistruth of this sort in a civil suit would never be brought
to
>> court, since it would almost surely be tossed out, or, if not, the suit
>> would be lost
>
>Don, it went to the Supreme Court of the US of A.
>
>There aren't any legal experts that count above that. Billy put 3 of
>the them in there himself and they ruled against him. Is that a
>Falwellian right wing plot too?
>
>RP

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Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> " Keep yer hat on tight, yer back to the wind, and yer sack in the saddle."
>
> -- Lonesome Cowboy Chas, circa 1878

" Double-wrap yer boa, ditch the high heels, and unbutton yer frilly stuff to
the navel."

-- Popular Cowboy Biff, circa 1879
--
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=|=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
Mark Lee - mlee@allwest.net - ICQ # 25911500

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

----------------------------------------------------------------------

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From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>
Newsgroups: alt.politics,alt.sex,alt.binaries.slack,alt.gothic
Subject: Re: Letter to the President - It needed to be said
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Xref: spln alt.politics:78202 alt.sex:277691 alt.binaries.slack:62357 alt.gothic:418098

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> In article <36BBCB36.BFFE8E50@erols.com>,
> "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com> wrote:
>
> > What if Don Chebo runs things out of a wine celler in Palermo?
> >
> > You got a problem with that?
> >
> > 008
> > La Mano Negro
>
> El Cellario del Don Chebo, INFLAGRANTE??
>
> SE NO ESTA SE!!
>
> >>>>>>YO TENGO EL MANO GREYO<<<<<<<
>
> EL HIJO DEL EL DIABLO Y SU HERMOSA BONITA!!!
>
>

Taco Belly Button!

Hey, I got Radio KIND on the box from San Marcos, Texas!

I hear that peyote grows in Roma, Texas, but I have never
broke no damn laws in America! I have broke laws in Canada
Mexico, and the United Arab Emirates!

Anycase, there was a good discourse on the kif cafes in Tangiers
on Radio KIND, San Marcos, esta pinche noche, esto lado del rio!

orale vato

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Dr.Legume" <drlegume@bellatlantic.net>

ENOUGH ALREADY.

THIS SHIT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF YOU. YOU ARE ALL LITTLE MAGGOTS
ON A FAT EARTH CARCASS. WHERE CLINTON STICKS HIS COCK MEANS NOTHING.

SIT BACK. ENJOY THE RIDE. GRAB A COMFORTABLE SEAT IN THE HANDBASKET.
EAT SOME GODDAMN FRIED CHICKEN, SHOOT SOME SMACK, AND SHUT THE FUCK UP.

IF SOCIETY CRASHES AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR ABOUT TO BE SHIPPED TO THE
GULAG, BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT.

YOU GET THE LAST LAUGH.

THEY HAVE TO MOP UP YOUR BRAINS AND SHIT.

LEGUME

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <79h77r$ia8$1@usenet46.supernews.com>, "Don Tatro"
<bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:

> Jimmy Stewart
>
> Weaahll now, fellas, hold on, there. I... I... well, gosh, what
I mean is,

(cut astounding fictitious Frank Capra movie script)

> Then again, he might not say anything that even comes close.
>

Now, if THAT TOUR DE FORCE didn't make this thread worthwhile, NOTHING will!

ALL the kids on BOTH sides of the bleachers stood up and APPLAUDED!!

Your mimicry is SUPERB!!! I really thought I was hearing James Stewart and
Claude Rains!

You know, the most MARVELOUS thing about Frank Capra's politics movies was
that they WERE INDEED TOTALLY NONPARTISAN. He was so damn clever with the
way the stories and characters were set up, that you could indentify with
the forces of freedom and decency versus the greedy rapacious nastiness,
NO MATTER WHICH SIDE OF THE GREAT DIVIDE YOU HAPPENED TO BE ON!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>

Yeah, he really was WE THE PEOPLE and had a kind of sappy--probably because
it was so distilled--connection to the human comedy. As you've pointed out
here and there in this thread, with all of our differences, problems, and
squabbles, we are DAMN LUCKY to be living in the GOOD OLD USA, since there
are few, if any, other places in the world where people enjoy the freedoms
we do or have it so GODDAMN GOOD, and this was the kind of thing that Capra
was not ashamed to remind us of. He could make even the most hard-hearted
cynic sniffle, wipe his eyes, and FEEL PROUD to be not only an American,
but a human being.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindXspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

On Sat, 06 Feb 1999 02:21:58 GMT, Thoughts@police.gov (The Thought Police) expounded:
[...]
<
<But the socialists will point a finger and say "There's something
<wrong with ANYONE who doesn't want to get rid of Drunk Drivers.
<IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! AND THEY'RE NOT WEARING
<THEIR SEATBELTS EITHER!" That's never a good reason to
<trample people's rights - ostensibly to protect them from themselves.

Main reason socialized medicine is evil is it gives the gummint
another excuse protect you from yourself - to save money.

In the kongressional "seat-belt" hearings the socialists were
expounding on how they're gonna threaten a certain percentage of
Citizens into complying with their shiny new charts, and if they
don't then this many million dollars will go here rather than
there and...only one had any concern about personal privacy
and freedom, an R-NH.

The place I'm workin' at proudly proclaims its racial and sexual
discrimination again *me* (of all people! I only had two slaves!),
in socialist Newspeak of course, in the paper's bidness section -
fuck that bullshit.

<
<Your paragraph labeled "Exhibit A" points out the serious deficits in
<your thinking, and therefore your argument. "Clinton is not a mere
<mortal subject to the same laws as everyone else, but an embattled
<idealist who must protect himself from The Christian Zealots out to
<destroy him." I see that now. Thanks.

BWAHAHAHA!

"That's what we did in the announcement I made last weekend
on the public housing projects, about how we're going to have
weapon sweeps and more things like that to try to make people
safer in their communities." Clinton, '94

<
<Me too! Let's make some pics!

Imagine, cuz I'm too lazy, a picher of everyone in this discussion
communicating with sharp sticks.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

IrRev. Friday Jones wrote:
>
> In article <i.stang-0502991838220001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>,
> i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
>
> >
> >If it had been Friday Jones instead of Monica Lewinsky in that office back
> >in '96, today we'd be watching the pointless impeachment trial of
> >PRESIDENT FRIDAY JONES.
>
> Actually, you'd be watching Starr running away from the lions. Real lions.
> Hungry lions. Me in a brief toga, eating grapes and waving to the crowds
> ... actually my double, let her take the sniper's bullet for me!
> Also, as President I feel that holding murderers on Death Row for decades
> and decades is cruel. So, I will have them all shot, humanely, while they
> sleep.


Hoo BABY! Hail to the CHIEF!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <friday-ya02408000R0602990925520001@news.tiac.net>,
friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:

>
> Stang, you are the LAST person I thought would accuse me of not liberating
> my E. Coli.
> Really.
> And after we shoot all of the murderers, we can feed 'em to the lions. I
> don't want any of them clawing at the lions' eyes and maybe hurting them.
> Being fed ALIVE to the lions would be reserved for those who dared to move
> against Me.

If I recall correctly, the last time *I* moved against you, you got so
excited that you spilled your e-coli all over the place! The maids were
PISSED... uh, so to speak.

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BC4282.1379@succeeds.com>, like.excess@sex.com wrote:

> >
> > If it had been Friday Jones instead of Monica Lewinsky in that office back
> > in '96,
>
> They would be calling him President "Bobbit".

Again, you have it completely BACKWARDS.

Friday ADDS dicks.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>

Then the old pome isn't true?:

"...Here comes the sandman to put you to bed,
And here comes the intern to give you some head,
And here comes Friday Jones to chop off your dick!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

>
> >Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:

> >> No - I'd already pegged Sis D as a knee-jerk liberal, but I
> >> thought Stang had a little more sense and knowledge.
> >
> >
> > Oh yeah, that's me. I AM a liberal. Knee jerk is just to your
> >genitals, dear.
> Looks like Sis D is on her liberal knees. Ready to blow.

You can only dream. Meanwhile, those TRUE Subgenii are gettin it.

>
> Don't get any on you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <friday-ya02408000R0602990929590001@news.tiac.net>,
friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:

> Stang, you are funny in and of yourself, I think. You're like watching a
> big woolly caterpillar stand up on its six hind legs, wave its fuzzy head
> high in the air, and declare itself Lord and Master of all it surveys!
> And then, the Lady Bird EATS HIM.
> And I film it.

Would you be able to say that with your butt full?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

>
> Would you be able to say that with your butt full?

Hey! If you can do it, I'll at least give it a try.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36c0a762.4123466@news.mindspring.com>, Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:

> This might be a bit complicated for those accustomed to teevee
> sound bites and pink media encapsulations, but it'll show that
> socialist/feminist/liberals wanted, and got, expanded legal
> definitions of "sexual harassment" that made consensual sex
> "relevant to the subject matter" and subject to public legal
> inquiry - including consensual sexual behavior of people not
> even accused of anything (i.e. Lewinski).
>
(snip)
>
> Again: it's the feminist/socialists, like Klintoon, who advocate
> more government interference and control in your private life.
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hear that, you anti-abortion folks? You have some catching up to do!

(Snip various informative clips from NOW, Washington Post, White House)

> [...]
> INTERROGATORY NO. 10: Please state the name, address, and telephone
> number of each and every individual (other than Hillary Rodham
> Clinton) with whom you had sexual relations when you held any of
> the following positions:
> a. Attorney General of the State of Arkansas;
> b. Governor of the State of Arkansas;
> c. President of the United States.
> ANSWER:
> (blank space for felonious response)"
> [...]
>
> Socialist/feminist/liberals wanted, and got, expanded legal
> definitions of "sexual harassment" that made consensual sex
> "relevant to the subject matter": this is part of the feminist
> codification of Victorianism and sexual repression, and it's
> just begging to be abused; it's dicksimple politics that
> Klintoon's opponents would abuse it, just as Clarence Thomas'
> opponents did - "He talked about...about...PUBIC HAIR (there
> I said it!) and offended my delicate little girly ears!!"
>
> Thanks to liberals, what used to be a crude remark or advance
> that was mebbe worthy of a slap has literally become a federal
> case worthy of involving the consensual sex acts of people not
> even involved - and the slap worthy of spending the night in
> jail.
> And not a religious nut in sight: socialist police state.

Oh!

This is a Socialist police state! Not a religious nut in sight!

THAT explains the impeachment.

NOW I finally get what you're trying to say: Kenneth Starr and the
Republicans are actually, secretly VICTORIAN FEMINIST PRUDES just like
KLINTOON! They're all in on it together! ONE CONSPIRACY - ONE WORLD - ONE
THOUGHT! HOW INSIDIOUSLY CLEVER! HIDING THE BIZARRE TRUTH RIGHT OUT IN
PLAIN SIGHT!

EVERYBODY wants to trample on privacy rights!

Meanwhile, "DIVIDE AND CONQUOR."

Well, I stand corrected. I'll let all the local cops know, too.

OBVIOUSLY, the only world leader who WON'T fuck with NOR uphold ANY rights
or ANY laws, is J. R. "BOB" DOBBS.

You CAN be ALONE, with "BOB"! So kill him today!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> In article <36BBB862.4E85261D@subgenius.com>, SiS D
> <decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:

> > Oh yeah, that's me. I AM a liberal. Knee jerk is just to your
> > genitals, dear.
>
> Swivel that knee over this way while you're at it, Mastress!

*bang* Have a few honey, take as many as ya like.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <friday-ya02408000R0602990927350001@news.tiac.net>,
friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:

>
> I actually like the spelling "Connietite." Although
> Connieya-ieya-ieya-ieya-tite would be great to SAY.

Would you be able to say that with your mouth full?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

>
> I actually like the spelling "Connietite." Although
> Connieya-ieya-ieya-ieya-tite would be great to SAY.

Yes, but tiresome in the end. Actually, She-Who-Takes-"Bob's"-Money
does prefer that but, but has ordained it be as I have precisely written
here. An Order from our OWN Leader.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> In article <36BBB912.652116B@subgenius.com>, SiS D
> <decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:

> > Sorry my man, that's the beauty of being a true Connie-ite...we don't
>
> Sis, it's no big deal, but don't you need to check your spelling dictionary?

Darlin', we titled ourselves, remember? According to Connie's
request....er, order. Your titles mean nothing, except to YOU. We don't
need no steenking "Bob" followers telling us how to spell our
Connie-Given Title.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

>
> > In article <i.stang-0502992247390001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
> > Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>
> Well, "don't have a mooncow about it, Dr. Cavor," but I believe the New
> Webster's spells that quite clearly as "CONNIETITE." The same way, I might
> hasten to ADD, that DOBBS HIMSELF spelled it in that one memo.

That is Dobbs, not Connie Herself. She has ordained it be so and I
follow what She-Who-Takes-"Bob's"-Money does order, not the "Bob"
himself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <01be51a3$b046c660$b41337a6@sweetpea>, "fred c. dobbs"
<cgbelcher@spamlesscwix.com> wrote:

> 'nuff said
>

The most convincing argument yet!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BC6A96.550@bellatlantic.net>, "Dr.Legume"
<drlegume@bellatlantic.net> wrote:

>
> YOU GET THE LAST LAUGH.
>
> THEY HAVE TO MOP UP YOUR BRAINS AND SHIT.
>

Very funny. Easy for you to say, Bluto. But I get your point.

We shouldn't forget that technically, according to Dobbs doctrine set down
in THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS and reiterated in REVELATION X, people like
LeMur, and ME, are BOTH wrong, because the Conspiracy is really the
combination of BOTH RepubliGoons and DemoCretins (and every other
miniconspiracy besides the Church of the SubGenius) -- one hideous
symbiotic multicelled monster which DISTRACTS the frustrated, pissed-off
SubGenius individual by waving various "FLAGS" in front of his or her
face, exactly like a Matador pisses off a bull and gets it to charge
headlong -- INTO THE SWORD RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES, or perhaps only MORE
MADDENING SPEARLETS DANGLING AND BLEEDING!

I don't think ya'll have to worry about even the little SubGenius
Foundation, Inc. here becoming too hand-wringing weepy-cheepy p.c. liberal
-- even if I might secretly be a simpering limp-wristed commie, Negro,
half-Chinaman, I'm only the President. (SNICKER!) Dr. Philo Drummond is
still a controlling officer and he's a tire-biting Cal Thomas of a man. A
regular "ED ANGER." Jesus is an officer and He's a Christian, obviously.
(Although he's also a Mason, which is kinda weird.) Someone else is a
Connietite -- nothing we can do about that, boys! And I doubt if anybody
would call such influential close Foundation associates as Legume, Jones,
Gordon and Mama (just as for-instances) "liberals." MURDERERS, perhaps.
All very different human cartoons. Yet we all trust each other. Perhaps
because we could all easily BLACKMAIL or even ASSASSINATE each other.
Mutual assured destruction. It insures our trust in each other.

And Fernandinande LeMur, too, for god's sake! Talk about influential
Foundation associates! LeMur's spoor PERMEATES the Foundation output of
the late 90's on web and in print! He's one of the funniest and most
skilled motherfuckers EXTANT!! EVEN THOUGH HIS SIGNATURE IS (was) A
SWASTIKA -- NOT ALWAYS THE FUNNIEST GAG SYMBOL!! I know he's the
anti-Stang, political-wise. YET HE IS WORSHIPPED AS LIKE UNTO A GOD! BY
ME! Because of the MERIT of the work. MERIT!! (The only reason his sick
Klintoon series isn't on SubSITE yet is because NOTHING MUCH ELSE from
a.b.s. the last 6 months is there yet either. It's the 3 gig SIZE of the
art-linking and upload that's daunting. AND THIS DISTRACTED ME!!)

ON MERIT -- that's how we quantify the work for "Bob." On MERIT. How much
SLACK was produced. Not by race, sex, creed, hair style, pecker length,
political inclination or "TASTE"! BY MERIT of SLACKFULNESS ALONE! IF YA
FEEL, YA HEAL!

We REALLY DO believe in the "BIG TENT" -- ANYBODY CAN GET INTO THE FREAK
SHOW. As long as they PAY THE ADMISSION.

THEN you can all duke it out amongst yourselves. I might even be in there
with you.

Although Susie the Floozie and I both agreed that at our ages, we perhaps
should retire from Mortal Combat in the ring.

And... but... What would AL CAPP think of all this...??

(I shoulda included him in that long line of freedom fighter weirdo names
from earlier.)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BC759C.F8D51743@subgenius.com>, SiS D
<decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:

>
> That is Dobbs, not Connie Herself. She has ordained it be so and I
> follow what She-Who-Takes-"Bob's"-Money does order, not the "Bob"
> himself.

!!!!

Wha--!

Well, who the HELL are you gonna believe, "BOB", or CONNIE???

I'm FLABBERGASTED.

I would think that the choice would be CLEAR!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>

Don Tatro wrote:

>
> Yeah, he really was WE THE PEOPLE and had a kind of sappy--probably because
> it was so distilled--connection to the human comedy. As you've pointed out
> here and there in this thread, with all of our differences, problems, and
> squabbles, we are DAMN LUCKY to be living in the GOOD OLD USA, since there
> are few, if any, other places in the world where people enjoy the freedoms
> we do or have it so GODDAMN GOOD, and this was the kind of thing that Capra
> was not ashamed to remind us of. He could make even the most hard-hearted
> cynic sniffle, wipe his eyes, and FEEL PROUD to be not only an American,
> but a human being.
>

Things could change very quickly, indeed..
http://carlisle-www.army.mil/usawc/Parameters/97autumn/lujan.htm
There are FEMA contingency plans for deployment of the "black helopters"
and I wouldn't rule out a scenario like the movie, "Red Dawn."

One thing that I did find inspiring about the film, "Red Dawn,"
which I saw at an oldtime drive-in, was that everybody liked the
guerilla exploits so much that there was a lot of honking and cars blinking
lights, unheard of at any other film.

The thing is, I have my sincere doubts that these same suburban kids
would do anymore than go along with an invasion, mostly because
none of them have ever lived a guerilla life-style, and would get shot
for being clueless.

There was a news bit in the last week or two regarding the eventuality
of a chem or bio incident in the US. They say it's not a matter of "if"
but "when." Tens of thousands of casualties are predicted.

I, myself, can't wait! Perhaps then the media will have something
to do besides go on and on about a Presidential bj.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>

Geez, Konig, the way you kept trying to intervene in yesterday's thread and
cajole the disputants to stop fighting, I was getting the impression that
you were a real PEACEMAKER, but, now, here you go, wringing your hands in
happy anticipation of a Red Dawn, terrorist invasion and inviting
bio-chemical decimation of the population, for no other reason than to
divert people from the Bubba/Monica BJ thing. I guess you're not a
peacemaker, after all, but somebody who feels driven to get people to stop
thinking and talking about the Lewinsky affair. What kind of sick mind is
behind this compulsion?

Don

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

In article <i.stang-0602991119030001@fcn105-144.tmi.net>,
i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:

>
>If I recall correctly, the last time *I* moved against you, you got so
>excited that you spilled your e-coli all over the place! The maids were
>PISSED... uh, so to speak.

It was the WAY you moved ...
And, the lions need their E coli liberated too!
Anyone remember the Great Omi, who was nearly asphyxiated by the stench of
lion urine while on tour in Britain? Talk about suffering for your art!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

>Then the old pome isn't true?:
>
>"...Here comes the sandman to put you to bed,
>And here comes the intern to give you some head,
> And here comes Friday Jones to chop off your dick!"

What is the FOURTH line of the poem?

"And here comes "Bob" to sell it back, quick"?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

In article <i.stang-0602991114150001@fcn105-144.tmi.net>,
i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:

>
>Would you be able to say that with your butt full?

A butt full of worms?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BC87B1.44E44D50@erols.com>,
"=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com> wrote:

> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> >
> > Would you be able to say that with your butt full?
> >
> > --
>
> Hey! If you can do it, I'll at least give it a try.

I wish I could. At my age, you have to fire up so many pumps and
battery-driven Pil-injectors and so on, just to get it to TURN OVER, it's
hardly worth the trouble scraping off the ice.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BC7433.B11A63DE@subgenius.com>, SiS D
<decadence@subgenius.com> wrote:


> > >Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:

> > Looks like Sis D is on her liberal knees. Ready to blow.
>
> You can only dream. Meanwhile, those TRUE Subgenii are gettin it.
>

HEY!!! What precisely do you mean by THAT??

Am I being left out of something AGAIN?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36c17abb.58236465@news.mindspring.com>, Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:

>
> Imagine, cuz I'm too lazy, a picher of everyone in this discussion
> communicating with sharp sticks.

That's EXACTLY what THEY had in mind.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <79i47k$4ts$1@usenet46.supernews.com>, "Don Tatro"
<bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:

> here and there in this thread, with all of our differences, problems, and
> squabbles, we are DAMN LUCKY to be living in the GOOD OLD USA, since there
> are few, if any, other places in the world where people enjoy the freedoms
> we do or have it so GODDAMN GOOD, and this was the kind of thing that Capra
> was not ashamed to remind us of. He could make even the most hard-hearted
> cynic sniffle, wipe his eyes, and FEEL PROUD to be not only an American,
> but a human being.
>

Proud to be not only an American but a WHAT?? I beg your pardon? I've been
with ya so far, Don, but... "proud" to be a "human being"... that's going
a bit TOO FAR, isn't it?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Poindexter" <poindexter@subgenius.com>

Yeah, That last living room scene in "It's a Wonderful Life" gets me
every fucking time. Pass the tissues would ya?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

>
> We shouldn't forget that technically, according to Dobbs doctrine set down
> in THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS and reiterated in REVELATION X, people like
> LeMur, and ME, are BOTH wrong, because the Conspiracy is really the
> combination of BOTH RepubliGoons and DemoCretins (and every other
> miniconspiracy besides the Church of the SubGenius)

The rilly terrifying part is that most people don't vote.
It's mostly government by default, and fewer people
among the disenfranchised and disenchanted think
that voting makes a dimes bit of difference.

I forget who said that people get the kind of government they deserve,
if he wasn't already dead, I'd kill him!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <friday-ya02408000R0602991537110001@news.tiac.net>,
friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones) wrote:

> >
> >Would you be able to say that with your butt full?
>
> A butt full of worms?

I think this has gone FAR ENOUGH.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BC9B97.4A25149D@erols.com>,
"=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com> wrote:
>
> Things could change very quickly, indeed..
> http://carlisle-www.army.mil/usawc/Parameters/97autumn/lujan.htm
> There are FEMA contingency plans for deployment of the "black helopters"
> and I wouldn't rule out a scenario like the movie, "Red Dawn."

SHIT! I ain't even HALF prepared for all those Cubans and Russians to come
parachuting down right in the middle of the high school parking lot! What
will my GIRLS do? Will the "please everybody," "New Age," "Rainbow
Multiethnic" simpering Black English teacher walk out there saying, "But
we must COMMUNICATE with these creatures! They could teach us much about
THEIR world!" only to be blasted all to shit by the ray gun? Or was I
thinking of another movie?

>
> One thing that I did find inspiring about the film, "Red Dawn,"
> which I saw at an oldtime drive-in, was that everybody liked the
> guerilla exploits so much that there was a lot of honking and cars blinking
> lights, unheard of at any other film.

Well, then you never watched BILLY JACK at an INDIAN RESERVATION theater!
WHEW! Talk about your CROWD NOISE! And white boys like me wanting to GET
THE HELL OUTTA DODGE! I also watched LITTLE BIG MAN at the same theater
-- I LEFT halfway through. The vibes were just TOO MUCH.

This was at the Mission theater in Mission, South Dakota (Rosebud Res.--
Literally, almost a one horse town. A general store, liquor store, P.O.
and HITCHING POSTS. And a bunch of public housing, prairie style.) They
played a different movie every two nights, which was great, but it was
mostly BLAKSPLOITATION MOVIES! (REAL good programming for these prairie
ghetto kids!)

But the loudest audience I EVER saw was a showing of INFRAMAN at a
Saturday matinee on the other side of the tracks in Dallas.

>
> The thing is, I have my sincere doubts that these same suburban kids
> would do anymore than go along with an invasion, mostly because
> none of them have ever lived a guerilla life-style, and would get shot
> for being clueless.

Well, that was part of the premise of the movie -- most Americans were so
soft that these desperate 3rd world soldiers just walked right over them.
The... was it the "Wolverines?" The kids that fought back were rural kids,
farm kids basically, with gun owning WWII vet parents.

The pasty-faced Goth suburban kids would CERTAINLY be the first to get
ENSLAVED or KILLED, if that scenario happened now. Followed REAL QUICKLY
by those rural kids. It's be the CRACK-FUELED, MACHINE-GUN-TOTING,
NOTHING-TO-LOSE INNER CITY GANG KIDS with AIDS on their BREATH that would
give those Cubans and Russians a run for their money.

We have something few other countries have, in that respect. An inner city
citizenry far better armed than any Idaho militia or POLICE DEPARTMENT.
Even PREDATOR II has to watch his ass in South Central, if you know what I
mean.


> There was a news bit in the last week or two regarding the eventuality
> of a chem or bio incident in the US. They say it's not a matter of "if"
> but "when." Tens of thousands of casualties are predicted.

That stuff worries me. I live in a big city, a Ground Zero during the cold
war and now JUST PERFECT for making a STATEMENT. Why, just in the
Ft.Worth-Dallas Metroplex, one half assed bio warfare attack (whether by
Crazed A-rabs, The Republic of Texas, Right to Life or all those violent
feminazis) ... shit, you could hit Sea World, Water World, Aqua World,
Fluid Kingdom, Waterslide Land, Six Flags, Wax World, Kennedy
Assassination World, and Theme World, all in one.

>
> I, myself, can't wait! Perhaps then the media will have something
> to do besides go on and on about a Presidential bj.

You got something against tedious forced discussions of frustrating
half-blowjobs on national TV? Hey, are you some kinda homo?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <poindexter-060219991453454451@ppp26d.inetone.net>, "Rev.
Poindexter" <poindexter@subgenius.com> wrote:

>
> Yeah, That last living room scene in "It's a Wonderful Life" gets me
> every fucking time. Pass the tissues would ya?

This is kind of a strange thing to admit, but about 3 years ago I was
having a true blue honest to gobbs nervous breakdown -- I had quit smoking
3 weeks prior -- I was about to DO SOMETHING, I DUNNO WHAT, BUT I AM A GUN
OWNER -- and I walked by the TV and it happened to be on and THAT GOD
DAMNED ENDING SCENE from "It's A Wonderful Life" happened to be on, and I
swear to God, I just SNAPPED and realized -- "I'VE LOST MY FUCKING MIND!!!
THAT'S ALL IT IS! THINGS AREN'T REALLY THAT BAD! It's just ME that's
CRAZY!" (I was RIGHT, too.)

Normally, that wouldn't be a FUN realization exactly; but at the time, it
was the biggest LOAD OFF I had just about ever experienced.

And it was prompted just from GLANCING OVER at that SCENE that I had seen
so many times. Near the very end, when he comes back into "real world." He
grabs the irritating stairway support knob that's always coming loose, the
thing that, earlier, he almost, in rage, right in front of his toddler
daughter, threw through the plate glass windows -- before his "event" --
and this time he practically KISSES it, he's now so AWARE OF WHAT HE
ALREADY HAD. He for ONCE has been made ACUTELY AWARE OF ALL HIS BLESSINGS.
He becomes, in the very classic sense of the word, enlightened.

That's the kind of sappy, corny reminder that I like to think we, in our
cynical and nasty sniping bulldada ways, can OCCASIONALLY PULL OFF.

(("HOLD THAT THOUGHT!"))

Corniness and shallow bullshit is the downfall of the New Agers, most of
'em, and the Christians, most of 'em, and probably all the others that I'm
less familiar with. But that's probably only because they are old
fashioned. There is still no reason that we cannot strive, with our art
and conversation, to reach into the heart... into the DEEPEST CONCERNS of
the individual...

... AND YANK IT OUT AND SACRIFICE IT TO THE SUN GOD "BOB" ON A FLAMING PYRE!!!

AIEEEE!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <79ib1h$86n$1@usenet46.supernews.com>, "Don Tatro"
<bad_habit@email.msn.com> wrote:

> Geez, Konig, the way you kept trying to intervene in yesterday's thread and
> cajole the disputants to stop fighting, I was getting the impression that
> you were a real PEACEMAKER, but, now, here you go, wringing your hands in
> happy anticipation of a Red Dawn, terrorist invasion and inviting
> bio-chemical decimation of the population, for no other reason than to
> divert people from the Bubba/Monica BJ thing. I guess you're not a
> peacemaker, after all, but somebody who feels driven to get people to stop
> thinking and talking about the Lewinsky affair. What kind of sick mind is
> behind this compulsion?
>

I didn't get the impression he was happily anticipating Red Dawn! It
seemed more to me like he simply enjoys contemplating the fantasy of all
those lazy-ass affluent smug North Dallas suburban teenage brats with
their Trans Ams being rounded up and taught a thing or two, for once, in
concentration camps hopefully. That's what I got out of it. I'm a parent
and I understand the need for "tough love."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <i.stang-0602990051160001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>
> It's helpful to think of the word as being more ACCURATELY DESCRIPTIVE this way.

Sheesh, everyone knows the New Webster Pictionary is controled by the
Zonist-Depublicran NuWirld Ordure backed by the Scopcialists and the
Klintoon Koup D'Etit, so OF COURSE it's spelled wrong. And "Bob"
spelled it way just because HE'S "BOB". Don't get all bent out of
shape--or else we'll just BEND you.

The Prophet Lilith

--
Popess Lilith von Fraumench * http://come.to/p.lil
Hey Seattle SubGenii! Go to http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com
==If reality doesn't make you LAUGH, then TAKE THE GODDAMN CLOWN NOSE OFF!==

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <i.stang-0502992355060001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>
>
> JOSEPH PUJOLED???
>
>
> NOOOoooooooo!

You got the pitch right but less aspiration at the beginning of the
next fart, please. Thanks.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>
In article <i.stang-0602990124370001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> You don't have the "OLD LORRE -- YOUNG SCHWARZENEGGER" tape do you?

No, but I did watch it once in Houston. I don't know how Arnold's knees
held up to the abuse, myself, but the soundtrack was incredible--and
Peter Lorre had a jaw-dropping yodel, to boot!

The Prophet Lilith

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <36BC6A96.550@bellatlantic.net>, Dr.Legume
<drlegume@bellatlantic.net> wrote:

> ENOUGH ALREADY.
>
> THIS SHIT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF YOU. YOU ARE ALL LITTLE MAGGOTS
> ON A FAT EARTH CARCASS. WHERE CLINTON STICKS HIS COCK MEANS NOTHING.

Finally, the voice of reason.

Legume, what did I tell you about using the voice of reason around
SubGeniuses? You're gonna make someone mad, and they're gonna get all
HUFFY and PUFFY, which would be OK except most of us only get a Slick
Willie when looking at PUFFY SubGenii, and the HUFFY ones are pretty
fucking revolting, kinda like Linda Tripp giving birth to Kenneth
Starr's baby, only in slow-motion, and with an afterbirth that's ten
times the size of the ugly little bastard whut got squeezed out first.

Just be careful with that voice of reason stuff, OK? Thanks.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <i.stang-0602990031270001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>
> No, that was ME that asked that... LeMur was several posts back. 3 up and
> 1 to the left... "stage left". HE seemed to GROK this so-called "humour"
> of yours.

I was responding to you, Mr. Swift! LeMur's characterizations of Sis D
and you were so downright surreal I couldn't help but to laugh and
laugh! Poor lemurs are so unused to WORDS that they'll read ANYTHING
into the slightest comment.

Sister Decadence is to a knee-jerk liberal as ANY POLITICIAN is to a
person worth a good goddamn. THAT is what's so goddamn funny.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <friday-ya02408000R0602990929590001@news.tiac.net>, IrRev.
Friday Jones <friday@subgenius.com> wrote:

> In article <i.stang-0602990031270001@fcn105-243.tmi.net>,
> i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
>

>
> Stang, you are funny in and of yourself, I think. You're like watching a
> big woolly caterpillar stand up on its six hind legs, wave its fuzzy head
> high in the air, and declare itself Lord and Master of all it surveys!
> And then, the Lady Bird EATS HIM.
> And I film it.

I'm glad somebody here is willing to move on and get back to the
business of the land--namely, BUG PORN.

(Jeez, does Stang still think I was laughing at HIM? Why, I'd NEVER....)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <i.stang-0602991132130001@fcn105-144.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> ALL the kids on BOTH sides of the bleachers stood up and APPLAUDED!!

Well, except for the kids that were thrown off the wagon during that
transition mid-movie, where they were circulating the anti-lemur
flyers.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <060219991652125102%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

>
> Finally, the voice of reason.

Not all that long ago, Legume and I were wondering on the phone just how
the hell the world got into such a back-asswards state that DR. K'TADEN
LEGUME finds himself being the VOICE OF REASON, and I, Rev. Ivan Stang,
end up being the DESIGNATED DRIVER. These are TRULY the TIMES OF THE END.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <i.stang-0602991044260001@fcn105-144.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>
> Would you be able to say that with your mouth full?

No, the REAL question is, could she say that with her tongue sticking
out?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <friday-ya02408000R0602990932060001@news.tiac.net>, IrRev.
Friday Jones <friday@subgenius.com> wrote:

>
> Are you saying that Peter Lorre was dead at the time, or that her partner
> was dead at the time?
> Unclear - elucidate! Dilute! Dilute!

Unfortunately, Friday, after watching the film a half-dozen times I'm
still not sure whether it was Peter Lorre OR Lady Bird's partner that
was dead. Maybe the video transfer will help settle this matter.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <poindexter-060219991453454451@ppp26d.inetone.net>, Rev.
Poindexter <poindexter@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Yeah, That last living room scene in "It's a Wonderful Life" gets me
> every fucking time. Pass the tissues would ya?

Yeah, it gets me hot and bothered too. Here, just cover yourself with
the empty tissue box, that should catch most of it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <i.stang-0602991649410001@fcn105-144.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> The pasty-faced Goth suburban kids would CERTAINLY be the first to get
> ENSLAVED or KILLED, if that scenario happened now. Followed REAL QUICKLY
> by those rural kids. It's be the CRACK-FUELED, MACHINE-GUN-TOTING,
> NOTHING-TO-LOSE INNER CITY GANG KIDS with AIDS on their BREATH that would
> give those Cubans and Russians a run for their money.

Don't write off all Goths--I know one with a decent arsenal, and he's
one of the nastiest, sneakiest bastards I know. I give him 7-to-2 on
surviving the first wave without reinforcements.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <060219991708364381%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

>
> Sister Decadence is to a knee-jerk liberal as ANY POLITICIAN is to a
> person worth a good goddamn. THAT is what's so goddamn funny.

Give him a break. LeMur hasn't had the pleasure of meeting, and basking in
the overabundant radiance of, the resplendent being known as Sister
Decadence. Those uninitiated into the ever-unfolding glory of that shining
flower of SubGenius Verve and Uberfemme Pulchritude could but grossly,
feebly guess at the full effusiveness of her very essencenessship.

Anyway, that was what was going through my head while she and I were
holding that bucket under Doc Frop's head while he was trying to urp out
that food poisoning from the Mexican food restaurant, in my kitchen the
other night.

But yeah, Sis Dec does not really fit into that bleeding heart liberal
stereotype. She's... unpredictable, political-wise, I've found.

I know you DON'T want to get in her WAY. You DON'T want to TANGLE with the gal.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <060219991723398799%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

>
> > ALL the kids on BOTH sides of the bleachers stood up and APPLAUDED!!
>
> Well, except for the kids that were thrown off the wagon during that
> transition mid-movie, where they were circulating the anti-lemur
> flyers.

RIGHT... when the bad guy, Senator LeMur, had his thugs go out and beat up
the frail little crippled children who were distributing those sweet
"STANG LOVES US ALL" flyers.

I CRIED during that scene!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)

In article <060219991720005566%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

>In article <i.stang-0602991044260001@fcn105-144.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
>Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>>
>> Would you be able to say that with your mouth full?
>
>No, the REAL question is, could she say that with her tongue sticking
>out?

Yes, but it comes out all breathy.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <060219991726017331%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

>
> Yeah, it gets me hot and bothered too. Here, just cover yourself with
> the empty tissue box, that should catch most of it.
>

Don't leave any of those around. Throw 'em in the trash and make sure the
cabinet door is shut. The dogs will shred 'em and spread 'em all over the
room if you leave 'em out on the floor. And I think the kids are starting
catch on as to just what those shreds REPRESENT. So let's not traumatize
'em any worse if we can help it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Don Tatro" <bad_habit@email.msn.com>

Stang said
>That's the kind of sappy, corny reminder that I like to think we, in our
>cynical and nasty sniping bulldada ways, can OCCASIONALLY PULL OFF.

What we should do is form a mission that would spread out across the Country
to all of the dens in which the whiners, complainers, victims, blamers,
vengeance-will-be-miners, groaners, moaners, ain't-I-got-it-badders,
self-pitying-mutual-misery-stokers-and-strokers, and the like congregate and
offer free, repeat showings of this CORNY REMINDER of the importance of
periodically balancing the pluses and minuses against one another and seeing
which side tips the scale. I can see it now, a bunch of white, supremacist,
Aryan Brotherhood types wiping the running snot from their noses and waking
up to the realization that neither the AMERIKA they profess to love so much,
nor their hallowed RACIAL IDENTITY would be anywhere near what they are,
minus the myriad shaping contibutions of their black brethren. Imagine a
scene like the one at the end in Jimmy Stewart's living room: People of
every color, ethnic origin, and sexual, religious, and political persuasion
begin streaming into the meeting hall off the street to gather in joyful
union. Black man hugs neo-reformed ex-Nazi, his burnished-muscular arms in
peaceful repose. The erstwhile Adolf pulls his sleeves down to hide
swastikas, SS emblems, spiderwebs, and other symbols that no longer make his
dick swell with pride, and he returns the embrace.
>
>(("HOLD THAT THOUGHT!"))
>
>Corniness and shallow bullshit is the downfall of the New Agers, most of
>'em, and the Christians, most of 'em, and probably all the others that I'm
>less familiar with. But that's probably only because they are old
>fashioned. There is still no reason that we cannot strive, with our art
>and conversation, to reach into the heart... into the DEEPEST CONCERNS of
>the individual...

I ain't a Christian, but as I read the myth, neither was that Jesus Christ
fellow, either. The one thing he wasn't, if he ever really was (which really
don't matter), was SHALLOW, SUPERFICIAL, and SKIN-DEEP about the corniness
he was trying to communicate. Actually, it ain't really corny, but we're all
such MACHO MOTHERFUCKERS that we have to call anything CORNY that reaches
into our hearts, moves us deeply, and makes us want to cry for the beauty of
it.
>
>... AND YANK IT OUT AND SACRIFICE IT TO THE SUN GOD "BOB" ON A FLAMING
PYRE!!!
>
>AIEEEE!!!

See, you restored the balance with a reassuring burst of good ole masculine
aggression. .

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>


Bwings a tear to me widdle eye.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <i.stang-0602992011490001@fcn105-144.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>
> Don't leave any of those around. Throw 'em in the trash and make sure the
> cabinet door is shut. The dogs will shred 'em and spread 'em all over the
> room if you leave 'em out on the floor. And I think the kids are starting
> catch on as to just what those shreds REPRESENT. So let's not traumatize
> 'em any worse if we can help it.

Sorry to break the news to you, Stang... uh... but that ain't a DOG on
your leg.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

> > You can only dream. Meanwhile, those TRUE Subgenii are gettin it.
> >
>
> HEY!!! What precisely do you mean by THAT??
>
> Am I being left out of something AGAIN?

Ask the Rev. Susie.......chortle chortle

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

On Sat, 06 Feb 1999 11:12:58 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) expounded:
[...]
<Oh!
<
<This is a Socialist police state! Not a religious nut in sight!

No "Bob"damned doubt about that in the least: I've been rousted
outa my house at gunpoint twice and imprisoned under false
pretenses, assaulted by cops, it's a federal felony for me to
cross state lines, I'm supposed to get gummint permission to
change jobs or move, I'm supposed to be redistributing a
significant chunk of my income according to some socialist
chart (not taxes), and my kid sobs cuz she can't see her dad.

And I know lots of guys who've been through the same shit, for
the same reasons: because of feminist authored and recently
passed "laws" and someone else's dishonesty.

Yer "Bob"damned right it's a socialist police state, and
anyone who doubts that their head up their fucking ass.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>
> >
> >... AND YANK IT OUT AND SACRIFICE IT TO THE SUN GOD "BOB" ON A FLAMING
> PYRE!!!
> >
> >AIEEEE!!!
>
> See, you restored the balance with a reassuring burst of good ole masculine
> aggression. .

Balance is GOOD. That way, EVERYBODY gets some. Praise Connie.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36bfcdf7.29773884@news.mindspring.com>, Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:

>
> No "Bob"damned doubt about that in the least: I've been rousted
> outa my house at gunpoint twice and imprisoned under false
> pretenses, assaulted by cops, it's a federal felony for me to
> cross state lines, I'm supposed to get gummint permission to
> change jobs or move, I'm supposed to be redistributing a
> significant chunk of my income according to some socialist
> chart (not taxes), and my kid sobs cuz she can't see her dad.
>
> And I know lots of guys who've been through the same shit, for
> the same reasons: because of feminist authored and recently
> passed "laws" and someone else's dishonesty.
>
> Yer "Bob"damned right it's a socialist police state, and
> anyone who doubts that their head up their fucking ass.

I know exactly what you mean! It hasn't happened to me, but I have good
friends to whom exactly what you say has happened.

I also have very close friends to whom it happened because of
Bible-beaters instead of feminazis.

I sent you some email about that with private details not for public, that
might help you understand why I feel so strongly that the Conspiracy comes
at us from BOTH directions. That blank in your email address, I dunno... I
hope it gets through.

Aside from private and personal reasons for feeling more beseiged by
rightists than leftists, I have plenty of BUSINESS reasons that I CAN talk
about.

I guess we ARE whores here at SubG Found. after all. I'm about to
install a PORNO SITE BANNER on SubSITE. (At least it's a really RAUNCHY
porno site.) We've been trying to sell advertising space on SubSITE
because.... well, we're having trouble paying the server bills now that the
Socialist college with Sunsite doesn't give us freebie server space any
more (the computer lab folks wanted to keep us, but they were getting too
many complaints about our offensiveness from church folks). We
tried several regular servers and kept getting told we couldn't show
titties and cussword and bad devil pics, so we're on a server that carries
mostly porno sites... they were the only ones who'd have us! It's that way
with printers, too. What we're usually told is, "Well, I think this stuff
is funny and all and I'm not as prude, but a lot of our customers are
born-agains, you know, and we can't risk antagonizing them." I have ONCE
been denied service for not being p.c. (they didn't like all the swastikas
and bound women and buck-toothed Chinaman cartoons in a 1984 FIST).

God damn it, I gotta quit fixating on this shit and get back to work!

But I want you to know that I have GOOD PERSONAL AND BUSINESS REASONS for
feeling more hobbled by rightists than by leftists. Me, I'd just as soon
lie down here in the middle of the road and fall asleep... I trust all
those drivers rushing by on either side... (zzzzz)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>

> is funny and all and I'm not as prude, but a lot of our customers are
> born-agains, you know, and we can't risk antagonizing them." I have ONCE
> been denied service for not being p.c. (they didn't like all the swastikas
> and bound women and buck-toothed Chinaman cartoons in a 1984 FIST).
>

I think that's it mayhaps-- a taboo exists around symbols
and examination, or trivializing is void where prohibited.

It's almost as subversive as not liking football.

Just imagine buck-toothed Chinese bearing swastikas on their
uniforms playing football with bound women! It wouldn't play
on PBS, let alone in Peoria.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com>
nu-monet wrote:

> K=F6nig Preu=DFe, GmbH wrote:
> >
> > Just imagine buck-toothed Chinese bearing swastikas on their
> > uniforms playing football with bound women! It wouldn't play
> > on PBS, let alone in Peoria.
>
> Uh, ESPN?
>
> Telemundo?
>
> A&E?

Yuh, prolly A&E. Directed by Taki Naguchi.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <i.stang-0602991956400001@fcn105-144.tmi.net>, Rev. Ivan
Stang <i.stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>
> Give him a break. LeMur hasn't had the pleasure of meeting, and basking in
> the overabundant radiance of, the resplendent being known as Sister
> Decadence. Those uninitiated into the ever-unfolding glory of that shining
> flower of SubGenius Verve and Uberfemme Pulchritude could but grossly,
> feebly guess at the full effusiveness of her very essencenessship.

OK, all right, I'll go easy on LeMur. He's a good guy, although a bit
too fixated by bad "feminist/socialist" laws to notice all the
horrible, unconstitutional police state laws passed mostly by
conservatives. Got to admit, at a time like this the "Illuminati"
theory of history from *Illuminatus!* makes most sense. Thanks to both
the left wing and the right wing we have very nearly reached a point
where everything not mandatory is prohibited, and vice versa.


> But yeah, Sis Dec does not really fit into that bleeding heart liberal
> stereotype. She's... unpredictable, political-wise, I've found.
>
> I know you DON'T want to get in her WAY. You DON'T want to TANGLE with the gal.

How about tango instead?

"Cha cha cha." --Dr. Dynasoar

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Rabbi Jackyn Hyde <rabbs@subgenius.com>

SiS D wrote:
>
> > Well, we can only hope. I would LOVE to just lay back and watch a bunch of
> > rival Connietites duke it out for a change.
>
> Sorry my man, that's the beauty of being a true Connie-ite...we don't
> HAVE or WANT to battle one another. We WILL, however, battle several
> pink bitches at once, merely just to catch and eat one's own dinner.
>
I dunno, my dear Sister... I think I look pretty damn good in red paint
and wouldn't mind slathering on some again... if I could find some
volunteers to wash my back later. Hmmm?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

Rabbi Jackyn Hyde wrote:

Okay, I'll do the wash and massage therapy part. I ENJOY the healing
phase. I would certainly engage in the mock battle if the Spirit of She
Who Arches Her Back Coyly so encouraged me at said event. Darlin'
Sister!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: root@news.slack.es (=?ISO-8859-1?Q?el_tibur=F3n?=)

Amerikans need to get Lemur Alexander elected in 2000. The slackful
possibilities will be endless....not to mention the royalties that
he'll have to pay to the Church for use of the word "Lemur".
--
-el tib

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindXspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

On Sun, 07 Feb 1999 16:17:49 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) expounded:
[...]

I wanna apologize for calling you a stupid asshole, or whatever
it was, even tho it's prolly true, whatever it was.

In case you couldn't tell, I really hate klintoon, feminists,
"liberals", and all that he and they actually stand for.

Didn't used to, tho, cuz superficially it all sounds like The
Right Thing.

I used to be one of the "don't know much, don't care much"
liberals, with all the depth of thought behind something like
"trees are good, lawns are bad"; I even sorta liked klintoon
after he first got elected, with the "smaller gummint" spiel,
a possible sign of some rationality in the War on Citizens,
playing the sax, and all BS. Years ago I worked for a defense
contractor and quit on principle (wow! wut a sacrifice!), got
busted at the Kanadian border, U.S. side (wow! $150 fine! how
terrible!) - "fucking right wing assholes", etc.

Then the feminazis inadvertently began my edumacation, which
I've continued.

<I know exactly what you mean! It hasn't happened to me, but I have good
<friends to whom exactly what you say has happened.

That whole adventure left me with my mouth hanging open in
amazement that that crap could happen in this kountry - and
here's a guaranteed way to piss someone off: fuck over their
kid.

Unfortunately they actually seem to mean it when they say
"the personal is political" (our personal = their political).

<I also have very close friends to whom it happened because of
<Bible-beaters instead of feminazis.
<
<I sent you some email about that with private details not for public, that
<might help you understand why I feel so strongly that the Conspiracy comes
<at us from BOTH directions. That blank in your email address, I dunno... I
<hope it gets through.

Yeah, it really IS from "both" directions, if "both" means Dems
and Reps - two sides to the same sordid coin. Or one side of
a trick folding coin...

<
<Aside from private and personal reasons for feeling more beseiged by
<rightists than leftists, I have plenty of BUSINESS reasons that I CAN talk
<about.
<
<I guess we ARE whores here at SubG Found. after all. I'm about to
<install a PORNO SITE BANNER on SubSITE. (At least it's a really RAUNCHY
<porno site.) We've been trying to sell advertising space on SubSITE
<because.... well, we're having trouble paying the server bills now that the
<Socialist college with Sunsite doesn't give us freebie server space any
<more (the computer lab folks wanted to keep us, but they were getting too
<many complaints about our offensiveness from church folks). We
<tried several regular servers and kept getting told we couldn't show
<titties and cussword and bad devil pics, so we're on a server that carries

The AntiSex League is alive and well in "both". Sigh.

<mostly porno sites... they were the only ones who'd have us! It's that way
<with printers, too. What we're usually told is, "Well, I think this stuff
<is funny and all and I'm not as prude, but a lot of our customers are
<born-agains, you know, and we can't risk antagonizing them." I have ONCE
<been denied service for not being p.c. (they didn't like all the swastikas
<and bound women and buck-toothed Chinaman cartoons in a 1984 FIST).
<
<God damn it, I gotta quit fixating on this shit and get back to work!

This is my last political/text post here - a.b.s. is *supposed* to be
my break from doing this crap is The Other NGs...

<
<But I want you to know that I have GOOD PERSONAL AND BUSINESS REASONS for
<feeling more hobbled by rightists than by leftists. Me, I'd just as soon
<lie down here in the middle of the road and fall asleep... I trust all
<those drivers rushing by on either side... (zzzzz)

Mee too!

(and I gotta laff at myself every time I use one of those "ist" or
"ism" style words)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

Whee!, The Lemurs wrote:
>
> That whole adventure left me with my mouth hanging open in
> amazement that that crap could happen in this kountry - and
> here's a guaranteed way to piss someone off: fuck over their
> kid.

Ah, so you lump ALL feminists and liberals into one group because of
what some judge and or bitchy ex did to you. Now THERE'S a solid idea.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

In article <36c0969e.1112218@news.mindspring.com>, Whee!, The Lemurs
<noemail@mindXspring.com> wrote:

> This is my last political/text post here - a.b.s. is *supposed* to be
> my break from doing this crap is The Other NGs...

Cool! Let's shut up and draw, like back in the good ol' days.

Fuggin PINKS... No matter what you call 'em, they deserve deep-tissue
buggery.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: lizzardo@subgeniuscom.biteme (Rev. Doktor Lizzardo)

But YOU told me that the phrase "Shut Up And Draw" was reserved for
Atom Funway Plastico!

The Sacred Doctrine of Erasability in action.

lizzardo

P.S. nothing personal, just thought I'd second the effort to change
the subject.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Popess Lilith von Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com>

Guess it's a good thing I'm a Popess, then.


> The Sacred Doctrine of Erasability in action.

Nah, the phrase is still reserved for Funway. I just made LeMur "Funway
for a day".

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: shaund@aa.net (Shaun Patrick Darragh)

On Fri, 05 Feb 1999 08:25:49 -0500, poindexter@subgenius.com (Rev.
Poindexter incognito) wrote:

<snip>
>>
>> Bullshit. There is not a sane prosecutor in this country who would
>> profer charges based on the *evidence* that has been demonstrated in
>> this case.
>
>Tell that to the 150 or so current occupants of various prisons serving
>time for perjury.
>

Let's parse this, eh?

In order for a charge of perjury to be proferred, the prosecutor must
show relevance to the case in which the alleged perjury took place.

In this case, Mr Clinton's consensual sexual relations would have no
bearing whatsoever.

Even if we assume that the information would bear on the case, the
lawsuit was dismissed. In short, the judge found that no harassment
had taken place even if all of the facts of the case were stipulated
in favor of the Paual Jones team.

Legally speaking, Bill Clinton committed no perjury in the Paula Jones
case regardless of how often you claim he did.

Shaun

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Poindexter" <poindexter@subgenius.com>

Unfortunately for William Jefferson Fuckwad (and the insurance company
STUPID ENOUGH to cover him for this sort of liability), Judge Susan
Weber Wright, the judge in the Paula Jones case, ruled back in May that
the Lewinsky evidence WAS material - About the time she was considering
reinstating the case - About the time Bob Bennet submitted the letter
stating his client had lied - just to cover his ass with the ABA.
Willie settled. Remeber?
Never heard about it? It was reported very quietly on page 53C in the
Washington Post back in June sometime. But the ruling WAS made and it
blows your argument to shit...

That was entirely TOO easy.

WJC is a corrupt fuckwad who's beat the rap in the polling game. The
Senate is too limp-dicked to do anything about it but hand wring and
wonder how it will affect their fund raising if they actually VOTE. I
don't care anymore anyway, but it's nice to know it's OK for a
Pseudo-King to wipe their ass with the Constitution, while at the same
time I can be put in jail if my kid takes off her seat belt while we're
on the way to the Wal-Mart and I my third eye was looking somewhere
else.

That's it!!! We have to protect and worship WJC at all times "FOR THE
CHILDREN!!"

RP

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: shaund@aa.net (Shaun Patrick Darragh)

In order for a charge of perjury to be proferred, the prosecutor must
show relevance to the case in which the alleged perjury took place.

In this case, Mr Clinton's consensual sexual relations would have no
bearing whatsoever.

Even if we assume that the information would bear on the case, the
lawsuit was dismissed. In short, the judge found that no harassment
had taken place even if all of the facts of the case were stipulated
in favor of the Paual Jones team.

If it was possible to demonstrate that Mr Clinton had perjured himself
regarding an element that was germaine to the case, the situation
would be far different.

Legally speaking, Bill Clinton committed no perjury in the Paula Jones
case regardless of how often you claim he did.

Shaun

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

In article <36BE5CF1.47025EDC@erols.com>,
"=?iso-8859-1?Q?K=F6nig=20Preu=DFe?=, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com> wrote:

>
> Just imagine buck-toothed Chinese bearing swastikas on their
> uniforms playing football with bound women! It wouldn't play
> on PBS, let alone in Peoria.

You just described the scene of The Battle of Armageddon at Brushwood to a
"T"!! And you can SEE it on the new X-Day 98 Video only $20!

Only they were using the Head for the ball.

It WILL play in Dallas at the Dallas Video Festival! Yeee-HAW! Those other
guys that shot it are gonna try to sell their version to PBS though.
Friday Jones' scenes ALONE will almost certainly preclude that deal,
though. Maybe the Fox Family Network.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)

This whole thing had us running around like chickens with our heads cut
off, FORGETTING that we MUST NEVER TRUST *ANY* AGENT OF THE CONSPIRACY!!!
I forgot the lesson too in the heat of Divine Hate.

ALL PINKS HATE US!

And they know JUST how to trick us into thinking that since THAT PINK is
so BAD, then THIS OTHER PINK must be "OKAY".

Well, HE OR SHE IS PROBABLY NOT!

ANY politician who has not sworn total allegiance to "Bob" Dobbs and
accepted Dobbs as the ONLY possible World Overlord, or even County Weigher
for that matter, IS PINK! And will be summarily dealt with as such come
X-Day!

FUCK 'em! The Holocaustals can do whatever the fuck they want with 'em.

Incidentally, the nasty letters I refer to were real short retarded blips
from people whose names I have never seen on either newsgroup... lurkers'
opinions DO NOT COUNT.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: noemail@mindXspring.com (Whee!, The Lemurs)

On Tue, 09 Feb 1999 13:30:28 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) expounded:

<In article <080219992115483783%p-lil@ZubJenius.com>, Popess Lilith von
<Fraumench <p-lil@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

<> Cool! Let's shut up and draw, like back in the good ol' days.

This is proof that I lied.
Symptoms: outside activity, loss of reflex in the Fartal lobes.
Diagnosis: Misdirected Hate. (OBO-13013.666.h)
[...]

<And they know JUST how to trick us into thinking that since THAT PINK is
<so BAD, then THIS OTHER PINK must be "OKAY".

Not BAD and OKAY, but BAD and EVEN MORE WORSER.

<Well, HE OR SHE IS PROBABLY NOT!

Praze fuggin"Bob"damn "Bob"!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: UnitIV@SPUTUM.com (Doktor DynaSoar Iridium)

On Sat, 06 Feb 1999 10:44:25 -0600, i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
wrote, in alt.binaries.slack:

}Would you be able to say that with your mouth full?

Any decent Connieite would be able to say it with her mouth full and it
WOULD be, and she'd be PROUD of that.

--
(@ @)\DynaSoar\___, Doktor DynaSoar Iridium, Scienfictiontologist
ll ll Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot, Somedamnwhere, VA
Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, ElectroChurch of the SubGenius

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SiS D <decadence@subgenius.com>

mmmble grftss grglemm ieyaieyaieyaieyaieya!

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