GET ON INTERNET!!!
Haven't been on the newsgroup for awhile and have been giving one word answers to 10 paragraph email letters. Been BUSY. Well, before and after Xmas was busy. (During Xmas was NEVER NOT FULL.) Near-readied a MIGHTY MIGHTY LOAD of keen material in all media to put on the SubSITE, as described below. Produced radio shows. Juggled the books. Got all keen krap ready to spring on public. But was foiled by ill-timed intermittent crashes by SUNsite server or by my access company or by "real life." Crunch got bigger yesterday. Bidding on a Conspiracy job, designing a website for a plain normal TV station. EZ-bucks if can get!! Bids had to be in by today. Looked at many TV station sites, copping code or ideas on the rare occassions that they were worth stealing. Sat down to prepare 4-page demo model web site with understated, "classy" modern Con style web design, which I can actually fake pretty well. (Just WASTE a lot of SPACE.) Did so. Started to prep for upload to secret SubSITE test area so client could view in morning.
COMPUTER HARD DRIVE CRASH!!! BIG-TIME!!!
What a relief. Without the Power Mac 7500 I pretty much HAVE to RELAX again. It's a clear cut example of that newly defined quality of INVOLUNTARY SLACK. Involuntary Slack has saved my butt lately. I'd build up to such a fever-pitch of "WORKING TOO HARD FOR SLACK" that it would snowball out of control. It would turn into "black" or "sullied" Slack, AntiSlack. But then something or everything would JUST BREAK DOWN. And I'd look down and the treadmill was smokin' for NOTHING, and I'd think, "WOW! Everything went TOTALLY all to shit in the very NICK OF TIME!! PRAISE DOBBS!!"
You just have to see that glass as half full. That's all there is to it.
It's easy. Just EXPECT the disaster. I got to where I figured the crashes were part of NATURE. My non-Geeked-out Dallas pals, which is most of 'em... well BOTH of 'em... make fun of me and say things like, "I'll bet you've even given your computer a CUTE NAME!!" No, I hadn't, but I just did. MOBY DICK. And I am Ahab, my dead arm flopping as if BECKONING as the great beast goes under with my corpse lashed aboard... caught up by my own harpoon, thrown by my own hand. NO! I've got a better one. "The Challenger." No. "FLIGHT 007." That's it. Nah... "THE SORCEROR." Nope, that's Bevilacqua's truck.
Whatever its name is -- or THEIRS? -- maybe it's "Legion" -- anyway, The Muleskinner (its new name) won't be out of the shop till Monday at EARLIEST. HA!! Forced to use wife's computer, SLack oFf. GOoOoD. Computer still under warranty. Good thing, because this is DEFINITELY a HARDWARE PROB. For weeks now, two or three times a day, in the middle of doing... anything... I'd suddenly hear this discrete, polite little "clunk" sound from inside the Mac, and it would just freeze up. Sounded exactly like a needle falling off the outer edge of a record. A couple of restarts, with the occasional disk-repair cleansing of software JUST IN CASE, and we'd be up and running again. But last night it was NO GO. The entire 1-gig drive is NOT RECOGNIZEABLE AS A MACINTOSH DISK AT ALL. One of them little plate-reading heads inside that hard drive, it had a bad peg or a limp governor or something, and THIS time when it flopped off the edge from momentum (I run this thing pretty hard), it fell ALL THE WAY down and CAN'T GET BACK UP.
Well, that 600 megs of SubGenius work, art, movies, programs, etc., may still be there when they replace whatever warrantied part it is, or mayhaps it's all been blown KERFLOOEY, off to Cool Shit Heaven, or more likely Der Library of NHGH. If so, then that is Dobbs' will. I didn't freak.
Because it was ME that bought the el cheapo Syquest EZ 135 last month and BACKED UP all those months worth of customizing and writing and collecting and layout, even if it meant my kids wearing WORN OUT SHOES ALL WINTER! YESSIR!! Up till then I'da been flat outta luck. I hadn't heeded the warnings of those it had happened to, like Vreedeez. NAW. Total disk crash? CAN'T HAPPEN HERE. But for some reason, one day Steve Devilacqua mentioned that if I didn't have back-up that I'd sure be a fuckin' idiot, and I thought about it and said, "YEAH -- I WOULD be." So I took credit card money I didn't have and ordered that back-up device then and there. As far as I can THINK, the only thing that might be lost forever in the crash is a bunch of email and... and... no, I probably have what little "new" alt.slack stuff I've read in the last few months. I haven't read hardly ANY for a couple of months. Unless I'm sent the GOOD stuff, why, I'll NEVER NOTICE IT'S MISSING!!
In theory ((HAHAHAHAHA)) the WORST thing that could happen now would be they'd give me a brand new naked Power Mac 7500 and say sorry, you're gonna have to rebuild everything. And I CAN, and it was probably due for such a lube job ANYWAY.
Still, at midnight last night I faced facts, downshifted, calmed myself, got onto my wife's computer and rebuilt the whole demo fake TV station website all over again from scratch, uploaded it, printed out a crappy looking copy of it in sections, took "screen photos" of it so the poor AOL-using client will know what it looks like on a real browser, and even if they go with some PINKBOY, at least I have a "demo" "CONSPIRACY-STYLE" BORING-TYPE website to display so as to get CORPOJOBS, pay bills and finance Stark Fist since it's a cinch the ministerial enrollment rate ain't gonna do it.
BUT FUCK IT!!! SO WHAT if none of the below gets webside for a few more days or weeks. SO WHAT if I've destroyed my liver with coffee and cigarets in order to stay awake and keep htmlin'. (I'm TOO OLD for SPEED and so on nowadays.) I'LL GROW NEW ONES. I'll out-HTML, out-PeE and out-DO every man-jack among ye! I'm a wired tralebone bereft of its pup! I sired seventeen space bastardotops and ate their placentas! I... (stang runs out)
One of the things I prettified up for SubSITE was THE BRAG. I hadn't actually READ that thing in a while, and I had to change all the newsgroup-style *italics* into web-style <i>italics</i>. I make the robot do that for me automatically but I still have to read through it. WEIRD. I remember them years. Them wuz lean years, boy. Also did up The Prescriptures and the 1st two chapters of BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS plus Ch.19... all stuff written before computers but since retyped for the net by servants all nameless except Modemac. It will feel good to prop these old friends up on the web, dust 'em off a bit. They need more art. I need to sort out those three boxes.
Where am I? Oh yeah. I had to update several sections of the website, which meant compiling all these THINGS and LISTS of things, and once I had 'em all in one place, I thought well HELL, I'll just DUMP it on my good buddies on alt.slack!! Might as well now, since I sure as hell can't upload the new relinkery to SubSITE, not until my Power Mac gets back, because ONLY THAT GIG IS BIG ENOUGH TO HOLD THE MINIATURE REPLICA SUBSITE REMOTE-CONTROL MODEL!!!!
But you see the point is, I DIDN'T FREAK!!! A month ago, I'd've freaked. I DID freak. But now once again it's just like water off a duck's back. Bring on the astral techno-shit. HELL I'll chew it all up and spit it out back in their demonic faces. I'm a SUBGENIUS! I'm CRAZY!!! I'm FUCKING CRAZY!!!! They can KILL ME AGAIN AND AGAIN and I'll JUST KEEP COMING AND HATING!!! AND LOVING ALL IN THE ONENESS OF "BOB" AND HIS PROSTATIC ENSLACKENMENT!! BEHOLD THE PROTONG!!! CRUSH KILL DESTROY!!! GABBA GABBA HEY! AIEEEEEE!
MISC. NEW NEW NEWS!!
UPCOMING WORLD SLACK CRUSADE DEVIVAL TOUR DATES!!
Featuring the great and fantabulous Rev. Ivan Stang, the lying undead bastard Dr. K'taden Legume, that self-mutilating light-bulb-eating wacky comedy duo Circus Apocalypse, the psycho-video backdrops, The Bleeding Head, and whatever other ne'er-do-wells and no-accounts we can dredge up AT:
Friday, Feb. 2 -- CHICAGO, IL -- at Double Door (312)549-0203
Metro-3730 N. Clark Chicago,IL-60613
WITH Janor Hypercleats! (?!?) plus Chicago Underground Film Fest madness! INDIAN ROPE BURN?!
Sat., Feb. 3 -- MADISON, WI -- at Club DeWash (608) 256-3302
636 W Washington Ave-Madison,WI-53703
With Rev. Velveteen Sly, Feast of Maximum Occupancy!!
Tuesday, Feb. 6 -- MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- at The Pins
Wed., Feb. 7 -- ST. LOUIS, MO -- at Bernard Pub (314) 621-4020
with THE SWINGIN' LOVE CORPSES!!
Thurs., Feb 8 -- INDIANAPOLIS, IN -- Patio (317)253-0799
with INDIAN ROPE BURN!!!
Fri., Feb. 9 -- CLEVELAND, OH -- at Peabody's (216) 241-2451
1059 Old River Road-Cleveland, OH 44113
with INDIAN ROPE BURN!!!
Wed., Feb. 14 -- BALTIMORE, MD -- at Memory Lane
With MOTOR MORONS (aka Severn Institute)!!
Thurs., Feb. 15 -- NEW YORK, NY -- Wetlands (212)966-4225
With DK JONES!!! POPE DAVID N. MEYER!!
Sat., Feb. 17 -- CAMBRIDGE, MA -- at Middle East (617) 354-5434
With BROTHER CLEVE DUNKAN!!
Sat. Feb 17 -- TORONTO?
Sun. Feb 18 -- WINDSOR?
NEW Hour of Slack stations:
WMSE, Milwaukee, WI, 91.7 FM, 5 am Thursdays
CFMU Hamilton, ONTARIO, 93.3 FM, 12 to 3 am Wednesdays
WHUS Univ.of Connecticut, Storrs, CT, 91.7 FM, 11 pm Sundays
??, Ottawa, ONTARIO
SAME OLD Hour of Slack stations:
WFMU East Orange, NJ (& NYC), 91.1 FM, 1:00 am Tuesday morning
WZRD Chicago, 88.3 FM, 9 pm Mondays, noon Saturdays
WCSB Cleveland, 89.3 FM, 9 pm Sundays
WREK Atlanta, 91.1 FM, Midnight Saturdays
WORT Madison, WI, 89.9 FM, 11 pm Thursdays
CJAM Windsor, 91.5 FM, 6 pm Saturdays
WESU Middletown CT, 88.1 FM, 11 pm Sundays? (call 4 info)
WKDU Philadelphia, 91.7 FM, somewhere amidst 6-9 am Wednesdays
WMPG Portland, Maine, 90.9 FM, 10:30 pm Mondays -- http://www.usm.maine.edu/~wmpg
CIUT Toronto, Canada, 89.5 FM, 1:00 am Tues. morning
THE HOUR OF SLACK on INTERNET RADIO -- via TRUESPEECH or I-WAVE
The older shows are still in Internet Wave format from VocalTec. The NEW shows (and Media Barrage 10) are now playing in TrueSpeech, for which you can download players in Mac, PC or Unix format.
AND IT WORKS!!! I have actually heard the ENTIRETY of the Xmas Hour of Slack spew forth from my Mac. It took Rev. Kai a lot of experimenting and jacking-with, but it WORKS!!! It has an oddly watery sound to it, true, but is clear enough, at least for voice. (Music -- well, let's face it, in TrueSpeech, music sounds like UTTER SHIT, but you can always FAST FORWARD through the anything that sounds too excruciating in ultra-compressed low-res .wav form.)
At this point the SubGenius Net Radio site is (FINALLY!!) changing on a weekly basis, so keep tuning in. By NEXT week Kai and Kaz are planning against plan to have REAL-TIME SUBGENIUS VIDEOS playing via the new VDO format!! ((My drive crash just put a damper on my end of that for a while.)) They just got their own Top 5% website award, for what that's worth. Hell, we got so many of those around here we had to spray the yard for 'em.
I will also be posting YET DOZENS MORE CHURCHLY .WAV SOUNDBITES to the Ears section of SubSITE. They're good snippets. One thing you CAN'T hate Zachary Carleton for is his discernment in SubGenius soundbites (-- I mean... WHERE DO YOU START?), nor his industriousness in digitizing. Although I'm still not exactly sure what little short digital SubGenius soundbites are GOOD for. SECONDS of Slack I guess.
Hours of Slack #s 511, 512 and THE UNCLEAN HOUR OF SLACK #1-X
They got produced, dubbed and mailed out to stations. Well, THE UNCLEAN HOUR OF SLACK only gets mailed to Kai Cherry at Ultraplex, because anybody who broadcasts THAT show on the AIRWAVES will be hauled off to a little dark room by men in black and kept there for a LONG LONG TIME. However, there's no law that says we can't cuss on the Net, at least not this week, yet. So we're gonna GO FOR IT!! The WHOLE FELONY!!!
And if we can't do that for long, heck, we can at least SELL you CASSETTE TAPES of it. It's something we should have been producing all along -- the SubGenius "PARTY TAPE" series, you might call it. The RUDE stuff that's TOO FUNNY for airplay. $6 a show, that ain't bad. Anyway, here's what's on the first one:
THE UNCLEAN HOUR OF SLACK #1-X:
Stang Intro -- The Show We Always Wanted to Do
"Dukie & Walter" -- (unknown nightclub comedian(s?) do(es?) Walter Brennan getting poked by John Wayne out on the prairie. PRICELESS.
Doktors 4 "Bob": "FUCK HER ONE MORE TIME"
The old sad stuff. A true gosp-hell hymn.
David Allan Coe: "FUCK YOU ONE MORE TIME"
You'll be singing it at work until they fire you.
Rudy Ray Moore, "THE RETURN OF DOLEMITE"
This intense nightclub brag from 30 years ago is what inspired THE BRAG OF THE SUBGENIUS.
Bill Hicks' amazing "Pornography" sermon from his album RELENTLESS
New Jook Savages: "IT'S FUCKED" from NIGHT NURSES ON A CONTROL TRIP
Rudy Schwartz Project: "THE FOG AND THE DEW"
I have waited 5 years to "air" this song uncut.
Janor Hypercleats classic monolog, "CUT YOUR DICK OFF TO PROVE YOU'RE A MAN" from THE JANOR DEVICE I.
"Hetero Housewives" and "Wife Swapping Swingers Orgy Porgy Party" -- excerpts from these semi-pornographic but basically funny as hell "erotic albums." The stud with the Texas accent happens to be named... "Bob."
Slated For UNCLEAN HoS #2-X and on:
SWINGING LOVE CORPSES -- Bad Muther Fucker, Dancin' With a Hard On, MFBAB, etc.
Drs. 4 "Bob" -- "Told the Judge," "Kassner Head Pussy," etc.
The Drunk Preacher
The Captain's Log
Snatch & The Poontangs
HEAD LAUNCHING from Rant n Rave 2 video
Bob Ridgely, Jonathan Winters out-takes
PRANK CALLS -- Tube Bar, Arnie & Barnie vs. Binny, The Fightsters, John Trubey, Calls to Okies, Shut Up Little Man
GWAR: THE ROAD BEHIND soliloquy
Grandpa's Dirty Ditties
Bro. Cleve Brag(s)
Philo/Sphinx, Sterno/Stang, etc. tag team FilthDoks
Michael Peppe "ADOLESCENT"
Elton & Bettie White
The Movement Song
HOUR OF SLACK #511 -- "LEGUME WAKE"
Intro -- Reboot & Puz Ev clips
KPFA -- Hal, Puz on "Digital Age"
Stang -- Misc. HATE, Good Quotes rant
Forms of Insanity clip "Monster Mash"
Stang reads news of plane-car crash
LEGUME WAKE DEVIVAL tapes:
Papa Joe Mama "In Doubt of Dobbs" sermon
WCSB, ESO RADIO w/ Lonesome Cowboy Dave & Stang: Discussing the Legume Resurrection
LEGUME's RESURRECTION RANT part 1
ESO radio con't.
Lonesome Coyboy Dave's Legume Memorial song
Legume Resurrection Rant Part 3 (Part 2 censored)
GWAR: "Dirty, Filthy"
Dr. Legume, David Apocalypse clips from Legume Wake
Stang: credits and rant on last show's nervous breakdown
ESO Radio con't. -- Stang & Dave on Legume and DEATH... long DEATH SPOUTING
Only a Mother: "Death"
Credits, PO Box
Dr. Nolan Void: "Legume Commission Part 1"
HOUR OF SLACK #512 -- "GWAR"
Dracula Stang Intro, titles
KPFA "Show" with Sterno guest
Sister Melodious Chopps from Legume Wake line recordings: "My Wallet Belongs to "Bob"" hymn
Surface Noise (new Negativland like "band"): "Surface Noise"
Stang rant on Internet, credits
GWAR: "Meat Sandwich"
Stang and The Sexicutioner discuss GWAR-Church on Q-101, Pink Radio, Chicago
WCSB Cleveland, ESO Radio: Lonesome Cowboy Dave and Stang discuss GWAR /SubGenius tour gossip
Stang report on GWAR tour (over "Cardinal Syn" by GWAR)
Stang opens for GWAR in Chicago, Halloween
Recordings from Sales Table outside Detroit show -- Bevilacqua trying to sell "Bob"
KPFA "Show" w/ Sterno guest, Dr. Howll, Puz-Ev
ESO Radio, Dave & Stang on GWAR, showbiz, horror, con't.
SubSITE LIVES, BREATHES, SPEWS!!
SubSITE is fully back online after the pre- and post-Xmas massive crashes of all of the great mega-server, SUNSite. They now call this crash "Black Sunday" and have determined it to have been the work of THE FINAL CONSPIRACY.
At least, the Rube-Goldbergian subsite parts all APPEAR to be working, to me, SO FAR. Tell me if you spot anything missing or fucked up. Anything NEWLY missing or fucked up, I should say.
That crash felt a mite dicey for the duration. I had MOST of ithe material backed up, but WASN'T SURE about the rest until they finally restored the last smidgens. As it was, I uploaded 90% of the site myself the night after Xmas. Couldn't wait for them to do it. The idea of some little kid getting the computer he asked for from Santa, and immediately using it to try to finally see the fabled filth of SubSITE, only to find it "down"... I just couldn't bear the thought.
NEW stuff now readied for SubSITE: a NENSLOAD of new art, the morphs I was littering alt.binaries.slack with, tonz ov soundz, WinSlack for PCs in the Funhouse, the newly-htmled SUBGENIUS PAMPHLET #1, Classic Church Rants and Stark Fist Reprints, about half of 3 FISTED TALES OF "BOB," HELL, why it's just BRIMMING OVER. Below is a list of the documents I rescued BY SHEER TEDIUM from where they languished, mostly as unreadable Word 1.0 files on ancient crumbling floppies. In order to get them from their primitive MacWrite-like forms WITH FORMATTING INTACT all the way to a modern day html, I had to resave some of it starting with my eldest Mac 512E, then bump it up a level on the old LC with its Word 4.0, thence to where this gol-durned new fangled Power Mac could comprehend its isness through the thick filter of Word 5.1 and then change it to rtf gibberish, then through rtftohtml to html, and finally out WWWeb Weaver and into Netscape. SHEESH!!! This is why I prefer to do such chores ASSEMBLY LINE STYLE. And why ALL THE MACHINES BREAK A LOT.
I could still use help preening and tweaking these many interior text pages for Web gloriousness, since they're mostly still pretty bland looking... anybody who wants can download the html source of any plain-looking one, gussy it up (if only by adding colors and a frame around the title or a copy of my flashy "back too" buttons", and email the html copy back to me. Ain't happened yet. Would be welcomed.
Here's what got rejuvenated or is otherwise readied:
THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS intro + Ch.1 and 2
The WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? Ordainment Application Form and Questionairre
THE PRESCRIPTURES (from The Book of the SubGenius)
THE BRAG OF THE SUBGENIUS (from The Book of the SubGenius)
CHAPTER 19 (from The Book of the SubGenius)
THE SUBGENIUS MEDIA BARRAGE TAPE INSTRUCTIONS AND WARNINGS BOOKLET
The Greatest JOKE (?) Ever Told? (old, nonfiction article about Church PRANKS)
The LONG Interview with Rev. Stang from GRAY AREAS Magazine
AMAZING REPRINT -- NEVER PRINTED ANYWHERE!!
"THE DEATH OF "BOB" DOBBS" -- a SUPPOSEDLY nonfictional expose on the first assassination of Dobbs, originally written for SPIN magazine but suppressed.
CLASSIC SUBGENIUS TALES
from THREE FISTED TALES OF "BOB":
BEFOREWORD by Dr. Philo Drummond
THE SMOKER FROM THE SHADOWS by Dr. Hal Robins
199619971998 by Rev. John Shirley
THE VREEDEEZ SANCTION by Dr. G.Gordon Gordon
WORLD WITHOUT SLACK by St. Palmer Vreedeez, Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 11, 14, 15
I LIVED IN A TEENAGE WORLD WITHOUT SLACK by Puzzling Evidence
THE THIRD FIST by Rev. Ivan Stang
THE ALL TOO REAL DREAMS by Dr. Ahmed Fishmonger
THE END OF ALL BULLETS by Dr. Chris Gross
BLEEDING-HEADECCESIANS by Janor Hypercleats
Doug St. Clair reviews Rev. Ivan Stang's THREE FISTED TALES OF "BOB" (from Mondo 2000)
((Need Sulkis, Peppe, Onan, Brooks, RAW, Pilgrimage(KDV), GGG New Hierarchy Tales, Sterno, Meyer, Waves -- anybody got an OCR?))
FOUR-FISTED TALES OF "BOB" from THE STARK FIST of REMOVAL archives:
ESCAPE FROM SLACKWORLD by KDV
(The ultimate take-off on all the take-offs in THREE FISTED TALES!)
MISTER FIXIT by KDV
I'M COMING, TOO, "BOB" by Dr. G. Gordon Gordon
MR. ZED'S ADVENTURE by Dr. Chris Gross
TEST 999 by LIES
PARABLE by LIES
LIFE RAFT by Dr. Maka Dudi
DOT, TOO DOT by Dr. Maka Dudi
NEON NIGHT by Dr. Chris Gross
THE PARAMUS MANUSCRIPT by Dr. Chris Gross
STUPID "BOB" TRICK by Kibo
HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION by John Trubey
THE REPENTANCE OF FEMSH by Rev. Ed Rom
GLEETINGS by Pope Charles
EXPOSE by Rev. Ed Rom
I FUCKED CONNIE DOBBS by Rev. Ivan STang
CLASSIC RANTS (mostly from THE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL last two issues)
YOUR INSTRUCTIONS by Space Puppet
NAZI KEN-MALL ZOMBIES by Joe Paulino
NENSLO'S NEW REALIZATION CHURCH WITHOUT "BOB"
PUMPING "BOB" -- sermon by Father Joe Mama
READY FOR THE FINALS, MR. DOBBS? -- open letter from Dr. G. Gordon Gordon
I AM A SUBGENIUS by Brother Cleve Dunkan
GORDON'S SOAP LABEL
THE BRAG OF THE BOBBIE
THE BRAG OF THE NORMAL WOMAN
THE CALL OF THE CHILD
DA NEW BRAG by Joe Paulino
THE RANT OF THE JUNKIE
ANTIBOB INVOCATION by Chris Gross
"BOB" IS DEAD/"BOB" IS NOT-DEAD
"GOOD "BOB"/BAD "BOB"
Miscellaneous Delightful Short FISTICLES
Stang's "BOMB RANT", "MTV RANT", "DRUGS RANT" from Hour of Slack
From "Let There Be Slack" series of essays for High Performance Magazine and others:
AUDIENCES IN HELL
THE TRUEST PERFORMANCE ART (preachers and wrestlers)
ARE YOU A MOE, A LARRY or a CURLY
WHY YOU EXIST RIGHT NOW
"NO LOITERING" -- an early pamphlet by Janor Hypercleats
The "IMAJANOR" Rant from Fool's Press
"BOB" FUCKS UP -- an interoffice memo that fell into our hands.
CLASSIC SUBGENIUS INSTRUCTIONAL ARTICLES:
RETROCAUSALITY -- scientific essay by Dr. Ahmed Fishmonger
THE ELDER GODS article by Dr. Chris Gross
STAYING CLEAN -- How to Do It
YOUR SUB-G SPOT
ART RANT by Gerry Reith
THE PROBLEM WITH THE CHURCH TODAY by Gerry Reith
FORGETTING JESUS by St. Kerry Thornley
See what I mean by "assembly line"?
Look for all this at SubSITE ... uh... soon. In "CLASSICS" inside the HALL OF ANSWERS and/or in TALES in the HALL OF MINDLESS FUN.
Next project: HIGH WEIRDNESS ANY WAY YOU CAN GET IT
ALSO: We are planning a sort of install-it-yourself CLASSIFIEDS/OTHER MUTANTS dealy-bobber for SubSITE... a little set of forms whereby social- or business-minded SubGenii can leave messages, ads, pleas, etc, creating a searchable database. This might also double as a mechanical GOOD SEX FOR MUTANTS DATING SERVICE III.
WEB SITES NEWLY ADDED to my list, about to be linked-to through SubSITE
SubGenius Pamphlet #1:
LIVE SUBGENIUS INTERNET RADIO: http://www.upx.net/subgenradio/subgen.htm
The SubGenius Media Archive:
THE NEW LOVE CORPSE SITE: http://www.1stworld.com/slc
NEW: Rev. Patrick Phelan:
(has Stang auto accident sound clip)
NEW Klopp hyper porno web page now contains a hidden picture of a real live hemorrhoid:
Big Poo Generator/Wacky Ball Kickers/John Klopptard
Hemorrhoy Rogers & the Rrhoid Boyz/ etc etc etc
Rev. Nickie Deathchick:
Scott Weikert e-mail: email@example.com
John Woods: New and Improved Web Page: http://www.funhouse.com/~jfw/
For those of you with a Java-capable Netscape 2.0 beta, check out the Idiots
Delight link in the middle frame at:
See "Bob" smoke his pipe on my home page!
home page <http://www.rlabs.com/cuthulu/index.htm>
LIST OF SUBGENIUS PAGES AT WWW.RLABS.COM
(with instructions on how YOU can display there)
Entrance page now with new interface.
my home pages, lotsa links, some crimson.
Dad's New Slacks
Mr. Soap Review graces us with his (minimal) presence.
The Kings of Feedback with one page, more to come.
Roaches and HUGE .gif files.
Everyon's favorite deatchchick with some very nice pages.
The popess knows her shit, dude.
Rev. Carey, brilliant, misunderstood, died before his time.
Founding rlabs.com member, rock star, professional wrestling manager.
The Subgenius Message Board.
HOW TO GET PAGES AT RLABS.COM
Are you right with "Bob"? Have you sent that $30 to the foundation and become an
ordained minister in the Church of the SubGenius? Yeah? Great! One of your
membership benefits is FREE webspace at rlabs.com.
To take advantage of this special offer, ftp to rlabs.com. Change directories to
subgweb. Create a directory as you want your URL to appear (i.e., create a
subgweb/idiot4"bob"/ directory, your URL becomes
http://www.rlabs.com/idiot4"bob"/). Upload your html and associated files to the
directory you just created. Then, wait for me to move them to the web server
(usually takes an hour or two).
HIGH WEIRDNESS, KOOKS, and RELATED SUBJECTS:
Heart Light Rescue at Sea
A True Story, written by Diviana; with 'documented' evidence of U.F.O. activity during a major storm- being called "A BOMB"- in the Pacific Ocean last year.
Voices From the Fringe :
Great kook and conspiracy links!
Everything about UFOs:
Tim Leary/Robert Anton Wilson:
Jesus Christ's Home Page:
Rev. Guido DeLuxe
The Church of Tina Chopp
Gates of Heck:
Art and books by Joe Coleman, R. Crumb, Annie Sprinkle, etc.
"Johnny C-Note's Street Bible"
While you're there, be sure to check out The Amorous Platypus Online,
nenslo sez try: www.telegate.se/bonk/
Uncle Al knocks upon your door bearing gifts and gnosis:
http://www.cascade.net/darkweb.html (may be wimpy)
Cabinet of Dr. Casey:
Supposedly good death, mutilation, deformity:
More Death Stuff:
Vent your anger at Rush Limbaugh:
M.I.T. Media Lab
Art/dada by Jon Sarkin: http://www.find-arts.com/data/b/144/contact.html
The Firesign Theatre newsletter: moved and the address has changed to
Jello Biafra rants in TrueSpeech; House of the Rising Punk:
The Residents' Page (NEW):
The Goon Show Scripts:
The Internet's Real Digital RockZine Experience
also hendrix pix: http://weber.u.washington.edu/~huevos
WINONA RYDER CORRECTION:
Devo Attack! Sub-Information Message #273
firstname.lastname@example.org will SOON BE DISCONNECTED.
Listen to the Latest Internet Technology,
The VMPEG1.7 viewer, which combines .wav sound & MPEG video, is downloadable at:
The older version 1.6 viewer did not provide INSTANT multimediafaction. On fast machines (Pentiums or so), there's an easy way to fix lip-sync: just turn OFF the synch feature and play video at a flat 30 fps... apparently the video actually gets slowed down more when it's in synch mode, and so it falls behind.
The thing on the web site thatsays it's a 3-D fractal thing, named 'hydra',
is a link to www.sgi.com (Silicon Graphics). The SGI site says it's moved
and didn't say where.
VREAM Web-VR program:
An attempt to create a 3-D virtual world for people to wander around and annoy one another. It has "avatars", meaning you get to pick and choose your "appearance" from a collection of images.
POINTERS TO WEBSITES OF INTEREST
GATES OF HECK links
Voices From the Fringe :
Great kook and conspiracy links!
Everything about UFOs:
(http://www.csurfer.com and better bookstores every where).
Internet Underground, NUKE:
Top 5% POINT Survey
Links I Like:
SubGenius links within Spider's Picks:
Subject: The Federal Web Locator
The Tipster (email@example.com)
Cruisin' and Schmoozin' on the Web: The Tip Sheet, Fridays in
Two words: boy butter.
Annie Sprinkle's home page (at the Gates of Heck)
GENERAL WEB-ABUSE,***** WEB INSTRUCTION:********
NetWatch is a focal point for the the identification and discussion of Net
based enabling technologies and associated applications.
In addition, we host the TopTen links and maintain the Iphone
and NetWatch users directories and moderate the Iphone, NetWatch,
RealAudio, VON, Iwave and Free World Dialup mail lists.
Why HTML3 is preferable to Netscape:
NOTES ON STUFF I HAVEN'T CHECKED:
A plug and some bits for those out of earshot.
Scratch disk: www.scratch.com/ and www.chapelhill.nc.us/
If you would like to see a trademark violation, check out
Well this is IT! This is the tiny fraction of snuff-like slack that'll
drive your brain into a nitro-burning frenzy!
All it takes is a pinch in the third nostril...
and take the time to read through it. We think there may just be
enough subgenius references there for you folks to be the first to file
a lawsuit against us.... but not the last.
Anything on the SubG pages having to do with time should be
linked to the above URL, especially the "Killing Time" .gif
at the top of the front page.
I added a link to your site at
Subject: Mavrides Stuff on LINX!
web comix that are tart, sweet, and kinda eggy
The Comics Journal:
"As 1998 approaches, there will be a huge surge in the popularity of the Church of the SubGenius because it will actually be EASIER to understand than reality."
Oh yeah, almost forgot... WE'RE BROKE AS HELL, ORDER MORE STUFF!!!
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