I was sitting there with Dok Frop, in this goth club of all places,
watching Nickie and our wives dance like crazy women. Dok Frop and I don't
drink or dance, not well anyway, so we just sit there and gawk at gals and
make fun of everybody. It was Nickie's birthday, otherwise I wouldn't be
out on a Sunday night. Sundays are the BUSIEST days for preachers.
I said to Dok Frop, "LeMur thinks that America is a socialist police
state." Dok Frop thought for a minute and said, "Well, in the strictest
definition of the terms, it is. But it's a mild form of it. It's not like
plain old capitalism is endangered. Walmart, Microsoft and Blockbuster*
are still going pretty strong."
I had to admit. If you want to get technical about it, this IS a
Socialist police state. If you don't let 'em take your hard-earned money
to give to slouchers on unemployment and whatnot, they will put you in
But, I'm afraid that isn't ALL it is. It's also a racist theocracy
sometimes, among other things. To hear you guys, the fact that the
Socialists are BAD, makes the BIBLE FASCISTS GOOD all of a sudden, and I
now should DEFEND the far right religious fanatics, rather than put them
There ARE FEMINAZIS. I've been censored or threatened by the feminazi
p.c. brigades (to use language the Rushies would appreciate). The Church's
tendency to celebrate PURE UNADULTERATED RAUNCH is as much a fist in THEIR
moralistic faces as it is to the religious zealots and all-talk "family
But I have been censored, pestered, bullied, threatened, and physically
beat up by FLAG WAVING BIBLE-MISQUOTING FAR RIGHT WING FUNDAMENTALIST
BIGOTS, a HELL of a lot more viciously than the pinkos ever even THOUGHT
about. P.C. zealots have screamed at me, but they never published death
threats against me or pointed guns at me because of things I SAID. Maybe
it's just because I live in Texas or something. I'm sure that if I lived
in Berkeley, Amherst, Madison, or any other of those evil hotbeds of
smugness, I would sing a completely different tune. Even walking around in
Portland fills me with a vast loathing for bleeding heart liberal
know-it-all rich kids and hand-wringing college professors, blah blah woof
My uber-Hates must be triggered by whatever type of PINK is in
predonderance in my current vicinity. I do not feel surrounded by queer
Pinks. I don't feel surrounded by feminazi Pinks, although I have gotten
shit from them at times. I definitely DO feel hemmed in just a wee bit by
powerful country club inherited-wealth Republican corpo-Pinks on the one
side, such as the ones who own all the newspapers and radio and TV
stations around here, and dumb-fuck redneck born-again dupes on the other,
who want to dictate our school science textbooks, and where my friends'
dicks go, according to bizarre primitive superstitions. AND my wife
sometimes gets shit from black people who say "all whites are racist,"
once a year maybe, but it never comes to anything.
Another example. I have READ about crazy animal rights activists, the kind
that blow up labs to protest evil speciesism. (Exactly like pro-lifers who
kill doctors.). But, funny thing, I have never MET one of those people! I
know a lot of CATTLE RANCHERS and EMU FARMERS... and HUNTERS... and
anti-abortion activists for that matter... and none of THEM have ever met
or dealt with one of these infamous crazy animal rights nuts, either.
(I've been asking.) Yet, to hear the talk shows in the controlled media,
you'd think the country was over-run with 'em! Just as one example. Sure,
some college professors are Marxist loonies. What Rush and co. always
leave out is, there are only 423 and a half of those particular loonies,
and most of their students are still flag-waving little bullet-heads who
believe in the good invisible monster in the sky, and trust anybody else
who waves big flags and says "God" a lot.
Propaganda is best made by lying by omission. The ends do not justify the
means... EXCEPT IN "BOB" DOBBS's case. And you conservatives can relax,
because I happen to know that "Bob" and Ronald Reagan, and Elvis, are
STILL the very best of friends and, in fact, spend a lot of time
together, talking. Talking about, just, oh, all KINDS of things!
It looks like Clinton's slick ass is gonna weasle out of this fix, sort
of, and he'll only have been publically humilated for a few years as
punishment for lying to the government about his girlfriend.
PLUS, the Republicans will be able to say, "SEE? He got off. PROOF that he
and the liberal media control EVERYTHING, TOTALLY, LOCK STOCK AND BARREL!"
(You'll be hearing that on all the liberal-controlled media stations.)
Senator Phil Gramm is one SMART MOTHERFUCKER. A month ago he was saying
"NO COMPROMISE" and now, with the polls STILL against the impeachment,
he's saying, "Let's acquit him and not even spank his hand. Let's just
STOP NOW and let him off scott free, DEFINIETLY no censure. PROOF that we
Republicans are VICTIMS of that vast left wing conspiracy like we've been
saying all along." Gramm and Pat Robertson. NOT BAD THINKING! Paint
THEMSELVES the martyrs, the victims, QUICK, so Clinton doesn't get to.
Poor victims... and ALL they were trying to do was PROTECT THE CHILDREN,
and SEEK THE TRUTH. That's all. But the evil Democrats had to go and
defend his right to lie to the government about his sex life. Those
Democrats... ALL of them... they must either hate their own children, or
else be complete and utter retards with no sophistication or knowledge of
the world. What other explanation could there possibly be?
What are you guys worried about anyway? The son of the last King Bush will
be the new Prince... he'll easily trounce Al Gore. Unless ya'll decide
that wishy washy "compassionate conservatism" is a little too Socialistic
for you. Bancy Dole wouldn't be a bad idea, but that's sure gonna piss off
the Promise Keepers. Hmmm... DAN QUAYLE! There ya go. A draft dodging, pot
smoking rich kid with a mind LITERALLY like a steel trap. But at least he
doesn't have a DICK!
If there was justice, and Clinton was held to the same rules that he makes
the rest of us play by, then we'd ALL better be ready to answer these
questions. Yes, EVEN Ollie North. I haven't seen this year's IRS 1040's
yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if just under the "DEPENDENTS" section it
Are you now or have you ever had sex outside of the marriage covenant?
Have you ever fantasized about such?
Are you (check one ) heteosexual; other
What are the names and phone numbers of the persons with whom you have had sex.
Please list an gifts, favors, or payment (these are not deductible)
Have you told a lie about any of your sexual activities to anyone? Who?
Have you ever had an abortion? Who was the doctor? What is his home address?
What religion (check one) Christian Other
Submission level of wife: Good Not too bad Uppity
Do you believe Christ will return: Soon; Not Quite as Soon; Not Soon Enough
You believe the Earth was created: 4,329 years and 7 days ago ; not sure
Neighbors who smoke pot:
If married, please make sure both spouses sign. Attach your check to the
(I trust none of ya'll able bodied Kenneth Starr/Jerry Falwell fans are
living off the Socialist state, while I support you, because that really
would be ironic, wouldn't it?)
NOW WAS THAT FAIR??
If that makes you mad, and you resent being lumped in with Creationists
just because you don't like Clinton's police state, then please stop
lumping me and half the rest of the country in with "feminazis" and
welfare bums just because I don't like Kenneth Starr's police state. It
makes you sound like you BELIEVE ONE HALF OF THE CONSPIRACY.
Let's put on John Carpenter's movie THEY LIVE and forget it.
But GOD DAMN IT! That porno ad banner we put on SubSITE to help pay the
bills... man. Shit. I was just trying to brag about how secretly wholesome
an environment that it is around this place, with MUCH more solid family
values than what the PROFESSIONAL FAMILY VALUES braggarts practice -- and
now I'm a PORNOGRAPHER!!! I feel like Kenneth Starr, forcing all that sick
detail down everybody's throats, or the liberal media, delving infinitely
into every single gross stupid thing Clinton and any possible girlfriend
did or might have done. I mean... jeepers. "SHAVED TEENAGE PUSSIES" just
one click away from "Bob's" worm-eaten face. I *KNOW* that's gonna REALLY
piss off some SubGeniuses, and I don't mean either feminazis or Christian
nazis, I mean just plain ordinary PARENTS. I'm ALL FOR PORNOGRAPHY, but I
also respect a very rough approximation of "community standards," so I
hate to THRUST it into anybody's face. We have that old Psychedelic Porno
gallery in SubSITE, sure, but there are plenty of warnings. I feel
dirtied, like Henry Hyde and Bob Livingston and all those guys, having to
go on and on and on about the horrible sexual sins of Clinton, making sure
every frustrated grope and scared half-fuck was spelled out on national
Maybe I should move that link deeper in and put more warnings on it. But
then we won't make as much MONEY! Which comes first, the CHILDREN, or the
CASH??!? WHAT WOULD "BOB" DO??
Better not answer that question.
Maybe I should just put a repeating Gif-mation loop blow-job "MONEY SHOT"
in place of "Bob's" face and just call it even. Fuck ALL standards of
decency, so to speak. There sure are a LOT of those ever-spurting money
shots on alt.binaries.gif-animation.erotic... do you think the p.c.
feminazis will pay us extra if we do that?
*(Note: ARISE The SubGenius Movie is banned from Blockbusters. Actively
banned. When Blockbuster bought Sound Warehouse, they shipped back 800
copies of ARISE that had been on the Sound Warehouse shelves. That and
Scorcese's LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST, and LIFE OF BRIAN were on their
banned list. LIFE OF BRIAN has been taken off, though.)
Incidentally... have I asked any of you to stop speaking your mind? Have I
even expressed anger that you did?
Because I've gotten a couple of angry letters telling me that I should
stop speaking my mind, that it's wrong for me to put down the Impeachment
Patriots BECAUSE THAT "DEFENDS CLINTON." And there weren't any jokes or
gags in these letters, either. They literally say that I should not say
these things. Because I'm wrong. So, democracy is fine, as long as
everybody votes your way, but if they don't, well, then it's GONE TOO FAR.
Hmmph. Ya'll sound like a bunch of feminazis sometimes.
Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack
"Ignoring the shit in this church is like ignoring the sea
when you're stuck on Gilligan's Island."
-- Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume
From: email@example.com (the 111th High Holy Hekkador)
Subject: Re: OK, it's a Socialist Police State.
Date: Tue, 09 Feb 1999 23:35:20 -0700
Organization: Mystik Rotating Brotherhood of Light
X-Newsreader: Yarn 0.92 with YES 0.22
X-Info: Yarn? Why, YES!!!
X-Day: July 5, 1998
X-FAQ: send $1 to: FAQ, P. O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75234
Xref: spln alt.slack:156072 alt.binaries.slack:62779
in amazement, I beheld firstname.lastname@example.org (Rev. Ivan Stang)
write in alt.slack:
:)I have been censored, pestered, bullied, threatened, and physically
:)beat up by FLAG WAVING BIBLE-MISQUOTING FAR RIGHT WING FUNDAMENTALIST
:)BIGOTS, a HELL of a lot more viciously than the pinkos ever even THOUGHT
[ ... ]
:)it's just because I live in Texas or something. I'm sure that if I lived
:)in Berkeley, Amherst, Madison, or any other of those evil hotbeds of
:)smugness, I would sing a completely different tune.
shit, Stang, haven't you ever seen "The Trial of
Billy Jack"? I'm sure even *most* rednecks and
militiamen would be forced to admit that leftists
get just as angry *verbally*, but rarely violent
or physical. leftists are all talk, no action.
HELL, I think I've heard right-wingers make that
so, in other words, the PCs and the feminazis and
so one get in lots of screaming matches, but you
don't hear very much about gangs of feminazis who
ride around in pickups wielding shotguns.
out here in California, we have violence, too, and
yet it's always rednecks/mountain men, or skinheads,
or the ethnic equivalent. funny how it works out
I think it's because the only people who use violence
to support their beliefs are those who know they can't
possibly use reason to convince very many people that
they are right. I mean, think of the white supremacist
platform: "blacks should go back to Africa, mexcans
should swim back to mexico, and injuns should go back
to the reservation." how many blacks, mexicans, or
native americans are going to be convinced by *any*
rational argument that this is a good idea?
when you KNOW you aren't going to win an argument, that's
when the guns come out.
:)Another example. I have READ about crazy animal rights activists, the kind
:)that blow up labs to protest evil speciesism. (Exactly like pro-lifers who
:)kill doctors.). But, funny thing, I have never MET one of those people!
nor have I. but then, I haven't even heard of any labs
being blown up, although I've heard of labs getting broken
into and animals released, and occasionally equipment
:)Incidentally... have I asked any of you to stop speaking your mind? Have I
:)even expressed anger that you did?
heck, no. in fact, my last few political posts said some
of the same things you said (and Legume said,) although
I seemed to have gotten more (public) flack. although I
didn't get any email. so I guess it all balances out.
so strong, it'll put hair on your first date!
His Most Feathered Eminence, the Ur-Beatle
well-known inventor of loungenoize
From: email@example.com (Jeff/addesign)
Subject: Re: OK, it's a Socialist Police State.
Date: Thu, 11 Feb 1999 02:38:46 GMT
Organization: Posted via RemarQ, http://www.remarQ.com - Discussions start here!
References: <firstname.lastname@example.org> <oiSw2UMJhVCA092yn@softhome.net>
X-Trace: 918693598 Z.COWSAII532DCC94C usenet53.supernews.com
X-Newsreader: Forte Free Agent 1.0.82
Xref: spln alt.slack:156135 alt.binaries.slack:62814
email@example.com (the 111th High Holy Hekkador) wrote:
>out here in California, we have violence, too, and
>yet it's always rednecks/mountain men, or skinheads,
>or the ethnic equivalent. funny how it works out
Or drunken pot farmers, double-parking their pickups in French Gulch
on a Sunday morning, paranoid that anyone with a camera must be a narc
spying on them. (True story, 1995. Lucky he didn't push it, I was
returning from deer hunting, and had a .44 Mag in my car.)
Jeff/addesign a.a #1063
Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum--Lucretius, 1st c. BC
"So vast is the sum of the iniquities that religion has induced."
From: jetrock@REMOVE_ME.emrl.com (Jetrock)
Subject: Re: OK, it's a Socialist Police State.
References: <firstname.lastname@example.org> <oiSw2UMJhVCA092yn@softhome.net>
Organization: Experimental Media Research Laboratory
X-Newsreader: slrn (0.9.4.6 UNIX)
Date: 10 Feb 1999 16:38:18 +0800
X-Trace: 10 Feb 1999 16:38:18 +0800, emrl.com
Xref: spln alt.slack:156134 alt.binaries.slack:62812
On Tue, 09 Feb 1999 23:35:20 -0700, the 111th High Holy Hekkador wrote:
>in amazement, I beheld email@example.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
>write in alt.slack:
>:)I have been censored, pestered, bullied, threatened, and physically
>:)beat up by FLAG WAVING BIBLE-MISQUOTING FAR RIGHT WING FUNDAMENTALIST
>:)BIGOTS, a HELL of a lot more viciously than the pinkos ever even THOUGHT
>:)it's just because I live in Texas or something. I'm sure that if I lived
>:)in Berkeley, Amherst, Madison, or any other of those evil hotbeds of
>:)smugness, I would sing a completely different tune.
>shit, Stang, haven't you ever seen "The Trial of
>Billy Jack"? I'm sure even *most* rednecks and
>militiamen would be forced to admit that leftists
>get just as angry *verbally*, but rarely violent
>or physical. leftists are all talk, no action.
>HELL, I think I've heard right-wingers make that
Part of it is because part of basic "leftist" theory is the idea that
Violence Is Wrong. Getting physically attacked by a leftist is rare
because it's not in the typical psychological makeup of the typical
leftist. But yeah, Stang or others are just as safe in Berkeley or
Madison or Arcata from attacks by militant leftists--though they might be
mistaken for leftists by rednecks who came there looking for asses to
kick. About the only "lefties" who can fight are punks, and that's pretty
much strictly in self-defense.
>they are right. I mean, think of the white supremacist
>platform: "blacks should go back to Africa, mexcans
>should swim back to mexico, and injuns should go back
>to the reservation." how many blacks, mexicans, or
>native americans are going to be convinced by *any*
>rational argument that this is a good idea?
Especially when you know how said redneck will answer the question, "Well,
why don't you go back to Europe?"
>when you KNOW you aren't going to win an argument, that's
>when the guns come out.
Which is the whole idea, when you're a Redneck Looking for Ass to Kick:
you ask your victim a pointless question like "what the fuck do you think
you're looking at?" not because you really want to know what said victim
is looking at, but because you want to justify your desire to beat someone
>nor have I. but then, I haven't even heard of any labs
>being blown up, although I've heard of labs getting broken
>into and animals released, and occasionally equipment
Some folks burned down the UC Davis lab a few years back. That's the most
I have heard of, though, just property damage.
>:)Incidentally... have I asked any of you to stop speaking your mind? Have I
>:)even expressed anger that you did?
>heck, no. in fact, my last few political posts said some
>of the same things you said (and Legume said,) although
>I seemed to have gotten more (public) flack. although I
>didn't get any email. so I guess it all balances out.
I admit it do get old being told I'm just another liberal
Clinton-defending Democrat when I post my standard rebuttals to "the
Democrats are equal to the Nazis" or other stupidities. While,
admittedly, my sympathies may lie more on the "left" side of things just
due to my background (Arcata-educated punk rock anti-war activist) but how
can I be a "classic liberal" with such a MASSIVE FIREARMS COLLECTION?
The idea that one *MUST* be either "liberal" or "conservative" is so
pervasive that people literally can't comprehend that I think they're BOTH
pretty damn silly and, for the most part, TOTAL IDIOTS! I've given dumb
liberals plenty of criticism for their factual errors and silliness, just
as I give dumb conservatives criticism, so now half the folks say I'm a
right-wing fascist and the other half say I'm a left-wing commie. And all
I can say is SUCK MY LOWER WING, PINK BOY!
-----Rev. JETROCK, cyber-messianic noiseman and ANGRY MONKEY
SubGenius Code: hyb^R0(F&V13013#&*)Q#G^HVE$H*QXIST&)H#HEIEI*Y#&*BEIEIEIEIjH&H7
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