The SubGenius Foundation IN BOXES is a sobering sight, my friends. Tomorrow the ENTIRE archives (not counting the factory and Jesus' sales operations, which stay in Dallas) go onto a Ryder truck and on Wednesday, I head north up I-30.
I will tuck my hair under my hat when I approach Arkansas, and I won't take it down until I hit Ohio.
The Lord, my brother, and Rev. Zafod will be helping me move, plus I hired some large professional Mover Lads to do all the BIG stuff. Since I'm driving this shit in a huge trailer, with my Bobmobile towed behind, I can't afford to be exhausted and suffereing leg cramps.
As if staying with STERNO in Little Rock on Wednesday wasn't going to exhaust me.
But I'm giving myself 3 days to haul all my worldly and wordly goods to the spaceport on Lake Erie. Must take it REAL EASY and stay UNDERCOVER. Super 8 motels are the official motel of the Church of the SubGenius.
But I will get to Cleveland on Friday afternoon, and THERE SHALL BE SLACK IN GILIAD ONCE AGAIN!
Come to think of it... I need help deloading this shit on Saturday (and maybe Sunday too) once I get to Cleveland. The Command Module and accessories have to go into the new Landing Pad house, but the vast bulk of the archives have to go into the Secret Hidden Vaults... and I haven't been able to line up any thugs to help yet! I can do HALF of it myself once I'm there, but Chas and them are in New York playing a CBGB's this weekend! So any chameleons or weirdos that I know, in Cleveland, the more the merrier. You'll get to see all the Secret Stuff and boxes with labels like "HUMAN SKULL AND SHEETS" and "PAPPY'S HEAD" and "OLD SWINGING LOVE CORPSES TUNE UPS" and so on.
If you can help move the Church to its new home in Cleveland on Saturday, email firstname.lastname@example.org with your phone number now, and when I get into Cleveland on Friday I'll phone you. It will help keep me from getting leg cramps and rickets.
By Sunday I should be back online again as email@example.com, same as always.
The location is on Cleveland's East Side vaguely near E. 185th St.
I'm not sure exactly WHAT kind of New Age this heralds for the Church, but we all know that Slack comes first in the life of any initiate, so... FIRST THINGS FIRST! Then, after the Slack, comes... MORE GOD DAMN SLACK!!! YEEEEE-HAW!!
Ok... this is it... last thing sent from First MegaFisTemple Lodge in Dallas...
EARTH -- WE MUST GET OFF
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Original file name: 9-13-99Last Post from Dallas
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