>Ivan, greetings, I'm (______)), older frere de the moster child known as ton y little tone, Grossberger, senor presidente de rugandfug media whore co.
PPresently helping out Mike Di and Suzy Bauhaus with word opf the third mag. I know you nopthing of you and your flock, please return this glossary as soon as possibe so we can access your teachings
>Stang SubGenius Glossary
SubGenius Doktor-- The highest level of the Church Hierarchy under Dobbs... one of the 13 Apostles
'Frop-- a medicinal herb which grows only by moonlight on the graves and droppings of dead Tibetan holy men and live Yetis... what "Bob" smokes. You can't come down.
Pink-- Short for "Pink Boy" -- derogatory term for human Normals. AKA Barbies & Kens, Cage Dwellers, Mediocretins, Norm-Worms, Glorps. A dupe of the Conspiracy.
"Bob"-- J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, leader and High Epopt of the Church of the SubGenius, Living Avatar of Slack, the Saint of Sales. Once a humble salesman; underwent his Emaculation in JHVH-1 (Alien Space God) in 1953 and saw visions of X-Day, leading to his founding the Church of the SubGenius on a shifting, sandy beach of hypocrisy.
Poebucker Girl Face Sandwich-- Sandwich made from the facial tissues of a dead female human child from the lower classes
St. Janor Hypercleats-- one of the 13 Apostles. The weirdest one. A native of Little Rock Arkansas, St. Janor is the Keeper of the Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer (sacred religious icon)
A Normal-- See Pink
>Mediocretin-- See Pink
>Cage Boy-- See Pink
PreScriptures-- The gospels revealed to "Bob" by Alien Space God JHVH-1. See THE BOOK OF THE SUBNGENIUS and REVELATION X (both Simon & Schuster trade paperbacks) for partial text. Sexier than the Bible and with even more monsters and villains.
Neuronicus-- the 18th book of PreScriptures.
Rosebud Reservation-- Lakota Indian reservation in Rosebud, South Dakota. Originally consisted of half the state, now consists of two small towns. The Sacred Pipe of the Lakota is kept there.
That Whiting Boy-- CLASSIFIED (Nat. Sec. Reg. #645538)
Prairie Squids-- somewhat hairy land mollusks used for sex by rural boys and girls.
The Conspiracy-- everything that fucks you up... all the Normals working together, unconsciously, against all abnormals.
X-Day-- July 5, 1998, when the Men from Planet X or XISTS will arrive on Earth, close a deal with "Bob," rupture the card-carrying Ordained SubGenii up to the Escape Vessels of the Sex Goddesses, and destroy the remaining population of Earth, VERY VERY SLOWLY.
Excremeditation-- self-explanatory. Meditation during excretion. Generally performed on The Throne of Excremeditation or the Porcelain Temple.
Dobbs-- See "Bob"
Connie-- Connie Dobbs, the Primary Wife of "Bob"
MMWOWM Trinary Computer Chips-- a moss-like artificial intelligence which the Xists will spray all over Earth on X-Day. Gives all earthmen magic powers, which they will use to destroy themselvs.
PatrioPsychotic AnarchoMaterialism-- The SubGenius Political Party. "Every yard a kingdom, every child and dog a serf." Fascism for the People. Fascism for the Individual
Conspiracy Fascism-- what you think of as normal, everyday life. Your job, etc.
Revelation X-- latest book by Dobbs and his Apostles, published 1994 by Simon & Schuster/Fireside books. $16 postpaid from SubGenius, Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214
Escape Vessels of the Sex Goddesses-- the Pleasure Planets that each paid-up SubGenius will inherit to rule as GODS on X-Day.
Minister's Card-- what you get for $30. Eternal salvation or triple your money back. The only "ticket" that will get you on the Escape Vessels. Also allows one to perform legal marriages in most states.
Robot Armies-- armies composed of killer robots (DUH!!!)
Bob's Throne Office-- "Bob's" Bathroom
A True Child of Yeti-- SubGenii are mixed-blood descendants of Abominable Snowmen (Yeti, Bigfoot) and humans.
The Greys-- the most commonly seen aliens from outer space. Big black slanty eyes and wimpy little bodies. They abduct crackpots and kooks, sodomize them with probes and then put them back on earth.
Aetherverse-- the opposite of the Underverse.
Ruptured-- to be "beamed up" from your old Earth body into a new, healthy young body aboard the Escape Saucers on X-Day
Glorp Pinkie-Winkie Normally-Wormally Media Vampire-- See Pink
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