> RevLurch wrote:
> > ehhh. Forget it. start one if you want. I'm outa here
> > 1.......
> 1. diarrhea
> 2. fire doody (my childhood name for shit that HURT coming out
FIRE DOODY!!! Boy you hit THAT nail right on the head. Fire doody belongs at the top of ANY shit list I would think, almost by definition.
THE SMELL OF DOG BLOOD IN THE MORNING.
I'm sorry, I just have to gripe here. I quit smoking, right? Like 5, 6 months. And my sense of smell came back. Fine. Great in fact. A wonderful new odorous world. Kewl. But then (irony of ironies) my DOG'S NOSE gets sick. Diskoid lupus causing chronic nosebleeds. Ever see a DOG have a NOSEBLEED? They have a LOT of blood runninginto their noses... FAST! And it runs out FAST in the FINEST SPRAY. It really makes quite a lovely bright, oh-so-fine spray pattern everywhere he turns his head. Of course, this only happens once a week, after you're sure he's healed up. And only at night, while you sleep. AND THEN THE DOG'S EAR gets infected. And smells EXACTLY like a dead rotting thing.
By my selfless ministrations of ointments to his ear, and pills for his lupussy nose, we have these things under control, dog-health-wise. More or less. BUT THE SMELL!!! My god. My sense of smell... why did it have to come back with such a VENGEANCE? I have SUPER-SPIDEY-SENSE of Smell. "Ace Smelling Power." Which is wonderful out in the garden, all of a spring's day. But no matter how clean we make the carpets LOOK after each nosebleed, no matter how DRY they feel and how BLEACHED OUT they may SEEM... the fucking house still smells like DOG BLOOD and EAR INFECTION. Only to me. nobody else can smell it. Used to be, they couldn't smell anything but my cigarets. Now they smell nothing and I smell EVERYTHING. And the cute little vanilla potpourries and the incense and the sprays and the ionizers... they merely LAYER ON MORE SMELLS. The BLOOD STENCH and the ROT STENCH are still there. There for me. Sitting here holed up in my office, far from any carpets or animals, I CAN SMELL THAT HORRIBLE EAR. Very faintly. But it only takes ONE MOLECULE apparently.
Dog blood and death rot -- they're on my shit list, and if that god damn dog gives me ANY shit, he'll be on the list HIMSELF and NOT FOR LONG!!! As I remind him, daily. And the idiot WAGS HIS FUCKING TAIL while I explain how easy it would be for me to KILL him.
Dogs. TRAITORS of the Animal World. Sold out totally to us. The other animals must REALLY hate dogs. I LOVE dogs myself, think they're the HANDIEST parasites. Great BIG LOUD ROTTING ones like mine, anyway, aside from the rotting part.
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