Also, since that time, AOL has begun to censor alt.slack from your perception. Yes, they have actually removed it from the list of newsgroups. They have allowed two rarely-used, boring spin-offs to remain as decoys (alt.slack.bob.dirtbag and alt.slack.devo).
For those new to the Church of the SubGenius, alt.slack is the newsgroup on the Internet where the hot and heavy SubGenius action has been happening since 1988. It gets about 300 new postings a week, including artwork and sounds, from all over the world. That's where you'll find news of upcoming SubGenius events in various towns, stations that carry The Hour of Slack radio show, gossip about Dobbs and his Apostles, and, lately, the occasional heartfelt criticism of this particular online service -- as well as simple how-tos for achieving total Internet &Web access for a reasonable fee, and with the simple new freeware programs. So it's not surprising that certain knowledge is being kept from you.
IT IS STILL POSSIBLE TO MAKE ALT.SLACK ONE OF YOUR NEWSGROUPS. Although it is no longer named in the Newsgroups list, and doesn't show up if you do a SEARCH NEWSGROUPS, you can use EXPERT ADD to "subscribe" to it. I suppose they call it "Expert Add" to intimidate you into not daring to use it, but it's REAL SIMPLE. You just click on Expert Add, and then type in "alt.slack"... that's it. Never been to the Net? Keyword NEWSGROUPS, click on EXPERT ADD, type in alt.slack, and then shut that and click on "MY NEWSGROUPS" or whatever it's called. When you see alt.slack, click on it, and you're there.
Be prepared to do a little wading through silly trash by Bobbies, or nonsense blather cross-posted in from other groups. Avoid the threads or subjects that have DOZENS of postings -- these are usually "cascades" done by the bored. You'll get the 'feel' of it after a couple of sessions, and learn what to skip over. It's a whole new world, unlike anything you've ever seen.
And I won't torture you with descriptions of the SubGenius Web sites, or the Web in general. It would make you feel as if you were getting ripped off. Many of us are paying $15 to $20 a month, flat rate, even if we leave our machines connected 24 hours a day, and we can float around checking out everything from live chats and the Web, to the COOLEST DISGUSTING PORNOGRAPHY AND RADICAL MADNESS!! It does take a couple of weekends of reading and boning up on programs. I would recommend the book INTERNET STARTER KIT, either for Mac or Windows. Comes with programs on a disc in the back. Makes everything easy. You'll no longer be the tool of an inscrutable, all-powerful priesthood, but ONE OF THE PRIESTS!! And if someone as computer illiterate as I am can do it, there's NO EXCUSE for anyone else to think it might be too complicated for them.
Speaking of which, the NEW EMAIL ADDRESS of THE SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION, and of myself, is:
I am waiting on the registration papers for email@example.com.
We would love to hear your complaints and confessions. We will even answer questions and email our catalog. But what you really need to do RIGHT NOW is check out alt.slack. Here, in this poor deserted bulliten board, you mainly get two yoyos babbling like kids in a sandbox. Well, that's a form of Slack for some SubSubGenii. But then there's alt.slack (NOT alt.slack.bob.dirtbag, which is the private poperty of myself and Dr. Drummond, nor alt.slack.devo, which is pretty narrowly specialized and generally abandoned)... the TRUE ALT.SLACK, that one-way PATH TO J.R. "BOB" DOBBS, not Bob or BoB or Microsoft BOB or the blabbering Canadian wanna-be Bob, but THE LIVING SLACK MASTER HIMSELF, PLUS:
Out-Takes from the new SubGenius book, REVELATION X (Simon & Schuster)
REPRINTS from old rare Stark Fist magazines
Astoundingly convoluted arguments back and forth about minuscule points of dogma!
SHEER HATE OF THE CONSPIRACY! UNBOUND !
Joint Collaborations on the Building of the SubGenius Palace of Dobbs on the World Wide Web!
RAW, UNCENSORED SEXUALLY ORIENTED PRURIENT EMPOWERMENT!!
Unbelievably vindictive, hateful FLAMING and TRASHING both real and hallucinated!
Helpful Hints for Overthrowing the Power Structure of the Normal People
STARTLING GOSSIP & TRIVIA!
Stang's Phone Number!
Endless Irritating Cascades from alt.discordia and alt.stupidity!
High Weirdness by SnailMail and Email listings
The SubGenius Foundation Catalog
Little-Known Secrets of Dobbs
Devivals in YOUR AREA! Radio shows U-CAN-HEAR!
Philo Drummond -- Ivan Stang -- Pope Sternodox -- Nenslo -- Pope Meyer -- Hellswami Satellite Weavers -- LIES -- Cooter Holland -- Cordt Holland -- Radio Popes -- Net Gods -- WebMasters -- SUBGENIUS CLASS ACTS YOU NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE BUT WHO ARE INTERNET SUPERSTARS!! and best of all, UNKNOWABLY STRANGE SUBGENIUSES FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.
But you might like it better here, spending $3 an hour on Bobbies, mal-aligned normals, loudmouths and fools who tHiNk it"S FuNnY to call themselves Bob Dobbs.
Sorry. It's just so embarrassing to see this so-called discussion group. But I know that some tiny number of THOSE WITH DISCERNMENT will check in here, JUST IN CASE.
HEED MY WORDS!!
REVELATION X is out and in most stores. Of course the Foundation sells 'em too.
I will be appearing on the Jon Stewart show on Fox, Tuesday night Jan. 31.
There's a devival at the Eye of Horus bookstore in Pittsburgh on Feb. 17 starring yrs truly, Dr. Legume and Father Joe Mama.
We're composing the Stark Fist on alt.slack, before your very eyes, and planning a CDROM interactive CD game in secret. And a regular audio CD with Negativland. Kind of busy...
Feel free to email me if you still can't get to alt.slack. You really ought to complain to your service reps about this.
Remember, that email address is NOT SubGStang1@aol.com. I can still get mail there, but I'm trying to phase it out and drop this account -- if I don't get kicked off first. (I've heard some real horror stories regarding email privacy violations and worse, but we'll discuss that elsewhere.) The new SubGenius Foundation address is
Rev. Ivan Stang
I'm dead serious. There's nothing "funny" about YOU having YOUR access to SLACK kept from you by lies of omission.
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Original file name: Stang's Directions 2 alt.slack
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