I am proud of my Northern Chinese Bastard heritage. (My great-grandmother, the story goes, briefly left my Scottish great-grandfather -- a "Rev. McNutt", believe it or not -- for a Chinaman named Lao who ran a travelling circus!)

(Another great-grandmother was the Tsarina Alexandra of Russia, for whom my son is named -- yes, that's one's DAMNED hard to prove. The fortune of the Romanovs is at stake; the alleged great-grandfather was the infamous "mad monk," Gregor Rasputin.)

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