The Book Of Shamir, Chapter 100
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17 May 88 07:51:05 PDT (Tuesday)
1. And, lo, Shamir was sore troubled unto his heart.
2. For he said: "I am like a man who standeth upon the shore of Ei-lat and
watcheth the waves beating upon the sand.
3. "For even as one cometh to the shore, so cometh another, and another, and
there is no end to the coming of the waves.
4. "So even is it with the children of Israel, as they stand in the streets of
Gaza and Hebron.
5. "For, as day succeedeth day, and month succeedeth month, so do the Arab-ites
and the Araf-ites rise up to cast stones at the children of Israel.
6. "And even as the children of Israel slay them for their iniquity, so doth
another generation of Arab-ites arise to cast their stones even as before.
7. "And it doth appear that there is no end to this."
8. And all who heard Shamir were amazed, for they said to one another: "You are
right. We had never thought about it like that before."
9. And Shamir proclaimed in a loud voice: "I am wearied of all this smiting. It
is time for us to take our rest."
10. And the children of Israel rejoiced at the words of Shamir and they said to
one another "Jahru", which is to say: "Great. Thou meanest that it is time for
us to cut ourselves some slack and go even unto the beaches of Ei-lat where
reposeth the smooth-skinned maidens, even them that pouteth in the noonday sun
and press into their flesh the sweet-smelling oils of Ni-vea, yea even the
ointment of Ber-gas-ol.
11. "And we can surf upon the waves, even as do the children of Cal-if-ornia,
and put away from us all thoughts of smiting."
12. And Shamir spoke unto them in a voice of thunder and said: "Even as the
locust in the wilderness eateth the avacado which groweth in the land of
Au-ber-on, thou hast grasped the wrong end of the stick.
13. "For I had a rather different holiday in mind, even the holiday of the Bus.
I thought we might go up even into the land of Leb-an-on, and do a bit of
smiting there.
14. "For, as the prophet hath written, a change is as good as a rest."
15. And so it came to pass that no slack was cut and they all went up into the
land of Leb-an-on, and did smite the Shi-ites, the Hez-boll-ites, the
Leb-an-ites, and pretty well everything that moved.
16. And "Bob" was sore amused, even unto his belly, and the followers of "Bob",
who dwelleth in the twilit zones of the Ar-pa-net, did also have a good laugh at
their expense.
