tRAUMATICALLY A cONVEYANCE

J. Hofmann (dryfoo@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Tue, 20 Sep 88 11:11:54 EDT

} Date: Mon, 19 Sep 88 23:14 EDT
} From: Steve Strassmann <straz@media-lab.media.mit.edu>
} Subject: Can anyone confirm this?
} To: trainor@CS.UCLA.EDU, SubGenius@MC.LCS.MIT.EDU
}
} Date: Mon, 19 Sep 88 18:00:11 PDT
} From: trainor@CS.UCLA.EDU (Douglas James Trainor)
}
} Just heard from a source that certain groups are worried about
} The Church Of The SubGenius as a True Cult, citing some kind
} of event in Baltimore, Maryland where members ran through the
} sewers wearing only dayglo paint.
}
} Yup, I checked with an Authoritative Source from Certain Groups, and
} it's all true. The Uncertain Groups are less sure, so maybe there's
} hope. There now, why don't you have a little rest, and wipe the specks
} of foam off your lips...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
} Date: Tue, 20 Sep 88 00:06 EDT
} From: Michael Travers <mt@media-lab.media.mit.edu>
}
} Sounds like tentATIVELY, a COnvieniece or however you capitalize him.
} He's a reknowned Baltimore body-fluid artist and probably takes
} second-place only to Bob Black in disrupting the sacred institutions of
} our Holy Church.

I've heard this story a few times. It even made the wire services, and
was discussed in the admirable ReSearch issue dedicated to Pranks and
Pranksters (probably one of the funniest publications ever printed.)

Apparently, in Baltimore, many cats and dogs die in the depths of the
subway system. tENT was in a subway station/tunnel, was/wasn't naked,
was/wasn't painted all over with day-glo colors, had/hadn't tied a
freshly-killed/already-dead dog to the end of a rope/leash, and
was/wasn't swinging the dog around over hIS head while hE did/didn't
dance, wildly.

There, that should cover all the possibilities, and account for what the
folk-process may have added to an already spectacular event.

The cops did arrest hIM. The wire services did pick it up, and I first
read about it in The Globe. The story was a small filler (one or three
grafs), but it did find room to mention that (approximately) "The Church
of the SubGenius is a religion that encourages its members to obtain
`Slack.'"

AP was an unwitting carrier of a small beacon of hope and encouragement
on an otherwise dark day. SubGs all over the country saw it over their
Sugar Dipt Coco-Weasels and grinned, "There's more weirdness out
there!" Many thoughtful Pinks said, "A painted guy is dancing in the
nude, in a subway tunnel, swinging a dead dog over his head. So why am
I worried about the Discover Card bill in so strange a world as this?
Why don't *I* slack off today, tell the boss my monkey died, and just go
bowling?"

-- dr foo
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Gary L. Dryfoos | "Occasionally, you may
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