Today's Topics:
Well, at least the world isn't dull...
Well, at least the world isn't dull...
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Date: Fri, 16 Jun 89 10:00:38 EDT
From: Dale Worley <worley@compass.com>
Message-Id: <8906161400.AA16731@galaxy.compass.com>
Subject: Well, at least the world isn't dull...
Quoting from the April 28, 1989 column of "The Straight Dope" by Cecil
Adams:
(c) copyright 1989 Burnside Group. (Chicago Reader)
"Joseph Newman...claimed he had invented a machine that produced more
energy than it consumed--a perpetual motion machine, in other words.
The U.S. refused to grant Newman a patent, saying perpetual motion
machines were impossible. He sued but lost his case when a scientific
analysis revealed that his machine produced far less energy than it
consumed." [More correctly, the Patent Office refused to patent it
not because it was a perpetual motion machine -- they are still
patentable -- but because Newman wouldn't provide a working model --
one of the few types of patentable thing for which one still has to
provide a working model! - DRW]
"According to the Mississippi Press, Newman says he was ordered by God
to marry both his thirty-year-old secretary and her eight-year-old
daughter. Newman complied, and happily notified the world in a
twelve-page press release.(One copy was sent to the Ayatollah
Khomeini.) The only problem--well, maybe not the only problem--is
that Newman was already married to a third woman. Authorities
promptly removed the eight-year-old from Joe's home, although he says
he has not consummated the marriage. Newman, who once ran for
president on God's instructi ons, angrily declared that this shabby
treatment was going to get God really PO'ed. 'I wouldn't be a bit
surprised if this does not result that God will place misery upon the
state of Mississippi...I can see the handwriting on the wall and the
people of Mississippi had better wake up.'"
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Date: Fri, 16 Jun 89 14:03:37 EDT
From: Tom Galloway <tyg@caen.engin.umich.edu>
Message-Id: <43de6fdb8.001490f@caen.engin.umich.edu>
Subject: Re: Well, at least the world isn't dull...
Well, Mississippi does have to live with Donald Wildmon being resident there...
tyg
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End of SubGenius Digest
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