Today's Topics:
La La la
Missing Digests
Could you please subscribe me
SubG fund-raising projects?
Sing along with Imelda
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Message-Id: <8908080513.AA10396@media-lab>
Subject: La La la
Summary: in search of alternative bookstores and false slack
Keywords: spandex, silicone, awesomeness
Date: Tue, 08 Aug 89 01:14:41 -0400
From: Ed Frankenberry <ezf@bbn.com>
I'll be in LA for part of next week. What are the "must see" sights?
I have a copy of "John Waters' Tour of LA", and the "life-style hell"
Los Angeles special issue of Spy. What do left coast subgenii
recommend for a suitably slackful visit?
minister Ted
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Message-Id: <8908080738.AA16580@hp-sdd.sdd.hp.com>
Date: Mon, 7 Aug 89 14:19:49 EDT
From: "Mitchell L. Silverman" <reverend@hplabs.hp.com>
Subject: Missing Digests
Dear SubGenii:
Could someone who collects the digests(as I do) please send me Digests
224-228, 230, 232, and 236? They seem to have gotten lost somewhere between
Boston and here(Ft. Lauderdale, FL).
Also: in reference to SubGenius activities at the WorldCon: I'm on staff at
the bloody thing(assuming I can make it, which seems doubtful) and I haven't
heard of anything official. However, something unofficial(like the ShorDurMar
I officiated at in New Orleans) should spring to life.
Rev. Dr. Mitchell L. Silverman, KSC
The Clench of the Stark Fist of Removal (The Fisters)
P.O. Box 25607, Tamarac, FL 33320-5607
UUCP: crash!pro-exchange!reverend
ARPA: crash!pro-exchange!reverend@nosc.mil
INET: reverend@pro-exchange.cts.com
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Date: Tue, 8 Aug 89 12:30:54 pdt
From: "Patrick F. MacRoberts" <macro@hpda.hp.com>
Message-Id: <8908081930.AA12045@hpcupt1.HP.COM>
Subject: Could you please subscribe me
To the list?
Thanks
-MacRo
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Message-Id: <cYrpSUy00WBb81Urp=@andrew.cmu.edu>
Date: Tue, 8 Aug 89 17:58:56 -0400 (EDT)
From: Chris Koenigsberg <ckk+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: SubG fund-raising projects?
Check out the part about the people's feet being "bathed in oil". I
think there's some potential for free enterprise here, what do you think?
copyright 1989 The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, reproduced without permission
GUARD AGAINST SWINDLERS, CHURCHES IN STATE WARNED
WASHINGTON - The Pennsylvania Securities Commisiion is warning religous
organizations across the state to be on guard against swindlers who use
the faith and trust of church members to steal their money.
"I want to make it clear that religious faith is not the problem or the
issue here," said commission Chairman Robert Lam in the notice to 40
religious organizations. "What happens is that the investment con
artists exploit religion in order to get prospective victims to drop
their guard and, as a result, not check out the so-called opportunities
being offered."
Distribution of the notice coincided with the release in Washington of a
report that showed religiously oriented scams have taken at least $450
million from 15,000 people in the past five years.
John Baldwin, president of the North American Securities Administrators
Association, said victims have probably lost a lot more because the
study his organization had conducted with the Council of Better Business
Bureaus had examined only cases where at least $500,000 was stolen.
In addition, many victims might never report bad deals because they were
too embarrassed or humiliated when they realized they have been taken,
said James McIlhenny, president of the council.
He said con artists have used the faith and trust of believers to
separate them from their money for centuries, but that the problem was
growing, in part because the swindlers were better able to target their
victims through religious publications and broadcast stations.
Commonly the swindlers contend that they would be able to provide
extraordinary returns on investments because of information they had
received through interpretation of Scriptures or through divine
inspiration, the study found.
In one example, investors were convinced to buy stock in an oil and gas
drilling project in Israel with an interpretation of Moses' blessing of
the tribe of Asher in Deuteronomy 33:24, where he said the feet of the
people will be "bathed in oil."
Many gain the confidence of religious group members by claiming to be
"born again" or to be endorsed by church officials.
Others used biblical passages to warn of coming disasters and frighten
investors into buying gold or rare coins, the report said.
Lam said the Pennsylvania commission had not received any specific
complaints recently about religiously oriented investment schemes, but
he suspected that Pennsylvanians had not been immune to the national
trend toward "fleecing of the flocks."
He encouraged religious leaders to alert their followers to the
potential risks of the schemes and to help track down the swindlers.
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Date: Tue, 8 Aug 89 18:59 EDT
From: Michael Travers <mt@media-lab.media.mit.edu>
Subject: Sing along with Imelda
Message-Id: <19890808225959.6.MT@OUROBOROS.MEDIA.MIT.EDU>
Celebrity sing-song...
by Peter Smith, Palm Beach Post
Late some night, when there's nothing on the cable but hour-long
weight-loss commercials and Joe Franklin reruns, you just might
hear this:
``New from K-Tel!
``You've seen her shoes, you've heard her rationalizations,
you've wondered how a merciful God could let her live! Mrs. Imelda
Marcos' new album, `Let Them Eat Cake!' Operators are standing
by.''
In a world full of absolutely weird and appalling things
(holes in the ozone layer, Maury Povich, McDonalds' new chicken
sandwich), the news that Imelda Marcos has gotten a head start on a
new career as a pop singer could come as a surprise only to someone
who wasn't paying attention.
The former first lady of the Philippines has indeed made an
album, and according to all reports, she makes Ella Fitzgerald
sound like a singer.
On the albun, called ``Imelda Papin Featuring Songs with Mrs.
Imelda Romualdez Marcos,'' Mrs. Marcos sings (wait for it, wait for
it) ``Feelings,'' ``I Just Called To Say I Love You'' and other
songs,as well as dueting with Ms. Papin, a well-known Filipina
singer, on another song. (What? No ``Blue Suede Shoes?'')
According to Imelda, hearing the tape has revitalized her ailing
husband. Sources say a video is in the offing.
``Think of it,'' marveled my old friend in the record business
``Soups'' Dujour, just back from having his nostrils cauterized.
``There's ALWAYS been a big audience for music by dictators'
old ladies.
``Look at the sales on `Eva Braun's Greatest Hits.'''
``We could even start a series of first ladies' albums,'' he
continued, brushing three 15-year-olds off his lap.
```Barbara Bush: Hot `n' Nasty,' `Nancy Reagan Sings For A
Dollar,' `Jackie Kennedy and Boxcar Willie: Together Again.'''
`Soups' started pacing.
``Why stop there? World Music is the next big thing, right? How
about `Raisa Gorbachev Live from Lenin's Tomb?'
```Denis Thatcher Sings Bob Dylan?' Featuring `Maggie's Farm,'
of course.
``But what if they can't sing?'' I asked.
When he stopped laughing, he said. ``No, but seriously. How many
people voted for George Bush, about 49 million, right?
(I didn't answer, having left my Encyclopedia Brittanica in my
other pants.)
``And if even half of them bought a record of, say, `Jeb Bush
Sings AC-DC,' we're talking Michael Jackson territory.''
``But surely, `Soups,''' I said, ``Surely no presidential family
member would exploit the president's position like that.''
When he stopped laughing again, he gave me the kind of look you
might give someone who, with training, might be able to get a job
somewhere as a doorstop.
``Haven't you been paying attention? The presidency isn't the
peak of American political life and honor any more. It's a stepping
stone to the big money...''
``Soups'' was beginning to warm up.
``Gerald Ford was on `Dynasty,' for heaven's sake.
Ronnie is going to Japan to gladhand a bunch of industrialists
for
MUCHO yen.
``Nancy took her name off a drug rehab center because some rich
people don't want it in THEIR back yards.
``Imelda? Just another Mike Deaver in expensive pumps. Gee, if
she were to go on tour, we could sell promotional high heels
instead of t-shirts.''
`Soups' started to scribble in a notebook.
``I wonder who her agent is.'' He reached into a desk drawer and
pulled out a Pez dispenser filled with anabolic steroids.
I knew that in a few minutes there'd be no talking to him. ``So
the presidency, or working for the president...''
``Sure looks good on the resume. It leads these people to what
they REALLY want to do.''
``And that is?''
``Make a whole potload of money.''
`Soups' waved me away; he was lost in his figures.
He stopped me at the door. ``In fact, I'll make you a bet.''
``What's that, `Soups'?''
``Three months after Lee Atwater is out of a job, for whatever
reason...''
``Yeah?''
``He'll be opening for B.B. King. That is, if he isn't opening
for Imelda.''
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End of SubGenius Digest
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