Today's Topics:
SQUID MAKES MASS MINDFUCK A REALITY!!!
For a good time, call the Virgin Mary
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Date: Fri, 1 Dec 89 13:31:23 -0500
From: Jim Hofmann 5577 <hofmann@itd.nrl.navy.mil>
Message-Id: <8912011831.AA09369@css.itd.nrl.navy.mil>
Subject: SQUID MAKES MASS MINDFUCK A REALITY!!!
PAGE 10 of Tower Record's PULSE Magazine, December 1989 #78 (Copies available
through MTS, Inc 2500 Del Monte St., Bldg "C", West Sacromento CA 95691 or
for free at any Tower Record outlet).
"What a Winner!"
Earlier in the year, we awarded the highly coveted PULSE! Doctorate Degree
in General Grooveology to Rev. Dr. Douglas J. Trainor for his winning entry
in the annual Desert Island Cruise Classic. AFter winning this vigorous
test of musical knowledge, he became Dr. Rev. Dr. Douglas J. Trainor and
proceeded to spend a portion of his $1,000 Tower gift script on the
following:
Attitude: The ROIR Sessions - Bad Brains (In-Effect/Relatitivity)
Everything Went Black - Black Flag (SST)
Rembrandt Pussyhorse/Cream Corn From the Socket of Davis - Butthole
Surfers (Touch and Go)
The Whitey Album - Ciccone Youth (Enigma/Blast First)
The Pink Opaque - Cocteau Twins (4AD/Relativity)
Stukas Over Disneyland - Dickies (Restless)
Diva - Original Soundtrack (Rykodisc)
Eazy-Duz-It - Eazy-E (Priority)
Freedom Chants - Gyoto Monks. (Rykodisc)
Hooteroll? - Howeard Wales & Jerry Garcia (Rykodisc)
Drum - Hugo Largo (Opal)
Land Speed Record - Hu:sker Du: (SST)
Babel - Klaus Schulze & Andreas Grosser (Virgin)
Muzik for Insomniaks, Vol 1 - Mark Mothersbaugh (Enigma)
Muzik for Insomniaks, Vol 2 - Mark Mothersbaugh (Enigma)
Elvis in the Rheinland - M.D.C. (Destiny)
Huevos - Meat Puppets (SST)
Post-Mersh, Vol 2 - Minutemen (SST)
Dance Nos. 1-5 - Philip Glass (CBS)
It Takes A Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back - Public Enemy (DefJam/Columbia)
The Uplift Mofo Party Plan - RedHot Chili Peppers (EMI)
Rhythm Killers - Sly and Robbie (Island)
The ZZ Top Sixpack - ZZ Top (Warner Bros)
Here's a self-penned bio (unedited) from the wacky gooveologiest
himself:
THE REV. Dr. DOUGLAS J. TRAINOR, PhD, LSD. PuD GG
Doktor Trainor was conceived, born and spent his formidable years in the
chilly state of New Hampshire before heading south for suburban Maryland.
As a teen he produced the short film "Aberrant," which proved to be too
shocking for western audiences. In 1987 he graduated SUMMA CUM LOUDMOUTH
from Miskatonic University with a PhD in Computational Theology. In
1988 he accidently ingested 500 microdobs of 'frop at a Stuckies in North
Carolina which spontaneously and permantly opened his third nostril - two
weeks later he joined the faculty of Miskatonic University as an Adjunct
Assistant Professor of Comparitive Cynisacreligion. In the fall of 1988
he was made a full Discordian Pope by Robert Anton Wilson. He sits
on the board of several non-profit corporations, including the Wang
Insititute of Universal Languages and Boston's prestigous Schenectady
Society, and serves as spiritual advisor to The Church of Sublime Squid.
In his spare time, Doktor Trainor enjoys Satantric Yoga, Excremeditation,
Adolphing and GlandScaping(Tm).
~p
There's also a 3x5" picture of The good Doktor in a wide-lapel sports
coat presenting some award to a goofy looking guy. The caption is:
"The Rev. Dr. Douglas J. Trainor (r) presents the Bob Black Youth
Acheievement Award to Mr. Pee Pd."
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Date: Fri, 1 Dec 89 15:49 MST
From: LIPPARD%rvax.ccit.arizona.edu@mitvma.mit.edu
Subject: For a good time, call the Virgin Mary
Message-ID: <8912012020.aa24067@mintaka.lcs.mit.edu>
at 1-800-232-MARY. You'll reach a recording, and if you leave a name
and address the Our Lady of the Roses cult will send you the latest
news from the Virgin Mary (by way of Brooklyn woman Veronica Leukens).
Leukens claims Mary and several saints have been appearing to her regularly
since 1973. Mary is apparently quite conservative and angry about rock
music, abortion, homosexuality, and other issues.
In other news (this and the above from the latest issue of the Secular
Humanist Bulletin), a Minnesota orthopedist is in danger of losing his
license after telling at least seven patients to seek exorcism, not
medical care. The seven complained to the state's board of medical examiners,
saying the doctor gave them books on exorcism and demonology, told
them their symptoms were the result of demonic possession, and referred them
to a church in Chicago.
Rev. Jim
People's Manic-Repressive Church (PMRC)
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End of SubGenius Digest
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