Today's Topics:
SubGenius Digest #327
SubGenius Digest #327
Lies!
Jelly doughnuts
First Santeria Church Sues for Animal Sacrifice
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From: martin@citi.umich.edu
Date: Thu, 7 Dec 1989 00:30 EST
Subject: SubGenius Digest #327
Message-ID: <8912070032.aa13645@mintaka.lcs.mit.edu>
Hmm... the grassy knoll
fnord!
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From: martin@citi.umich.edu
Date: Thu, 7 Dec 1989 00:30 EST
Subject: SubGenius Digest #327
Message-ID: <8912070032.aa13688@mintaka.lcs.mit.edu>
Hmm... the grassy knoll
fnord!
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Message-Id: <8912070714.AA05343@hplnpm.HPL.HP.COM>
Subject: Lies!
Date: Wed, 06 Dec 89 23:14:33 PST
From: "Niels P. Mayer" <mayer%hplnpm@hplabs.hp.com>
------- Forwarded Message
> is this true?
> ------- Forwarded Message
> Date: Tue, 5 Dec 89 08:09:30 -0800
> Subject: JFK as Jelly Doughnut
> In Germany a "Berliner" is a sort of jelly doughnut, and German
> grammar precludes the use of the indefinite article when identifying
> one's place on this earth. Consequently, what Kennedy actually
> said was, "I am a jelly doughnut." What he should have said was,
> "Ich bin Berlinisch."
Not quite correct: It is correct to say "Ich bin Berliner", but not
Berlinisch, and not quite incorrect to say "Ich bin ein Berliner",
because it is clear from the context that the person speaking is
not a piece of food (e.g., Ich bin Franfurter, or Ich bin ein Franfurter)
Things are also a bit regional: a Bavarian would say Ich bin ein Bayer,
whereas a Saxonian would say Ich bin Sachse.
You would say "Ich bin Amerikaner" But someone might say about you
"Niels ist ein Amerikaner".
But Berlinisch -- definitely not!.
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Date: Thu, 7 Dec 89 08:25:39 EST
From: Rich Rosen <rlr@toccata.rutgers.edu>
Message-Id: <8912071325.AA20703@toccata.rutgers.edu>
Subject: Jelly doughnuts
} SubGenius Digest #326 6 DEC 89 00:08:01 EST
} From: "Mark S. Day 05-Dec-1989 1108" <day@rdvax.enet.dec.com>
} Subject: JFK as Jelly Doughnut
}
} From the Letters page of the Wall Street Journal, Dec. 4 1989
} ...
} In Germany a "Berliner" is a sort of jelly doughnut,
} ...
} Consequently, what Kennedy actually said was, "I am a jelly
} doughnut." What he should have said was, "Ich bin
} Berlinisch."
This has been rehashed to death, but his error was not in using the
word "Berliner" but in the modifier he used to say he was "a" Berliner.
"Ich bin einE Berliner" modifies the word Berliner with a personal pronoun,
"Ich bin ein Berliner" modifies Berliner impersonally (whatever that means),
and implies the word's more impersonal definition "jelly doughnut" rather
than "resident of Berlin".
Oswald later proved that Kennedy was actually not a jelly doughnut but a
Napoleon (although this was covered up by the Warren Commission, which
originally asserted that he was actually a Bavarian creme puff or a cheese
Danish, but Gerald Ford reportedly ate the evidence). Ford pointed out that
the jelly doughnut theory nicely accounted for the hole in Kennedy's head.
John Connally's clothes had to be destroyed to cover this up, since everyone
knows how difficult it is to get custard stains out of a cheap suit. Oswald's
words upon being captured ("Now he *is* a Berliner!") were never reported to or
heard by anyone.
-- "Fate, up against your will, through the thick and thin, Rich Rosen You will wait until you give yourself to him..." rlr@toccata.rutgers.edu------------------------------
Date: Thu, 7 Dec 89 11:45:01 est From: Eric Haines <eye!erich@wrath.cs.cornell.edu> Message-Id: <8912071645.AA04401@spruce> Subject: First Santeria Church Sues for Animal Sacrifice
