Today's Topics:
If you died and went to hell...
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From: Christopher Maeda <cmaeda@a.gp.cs.cmu.edu>
Date: Tue, 12 Dec 89 22:19:17 EST
Subject: If you died and went to hell...
Reply-to: cmaeda@cs.cmu.edu
Message-ID: <8912122220.aa18697@mintaka.lcs.mit.edu>
Date: 5 Dec 89 13:05:08 PST (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: If you died and went to hell...
From: mbowen.ESXC15@Xerox.COM
...i'd be shackled in an eternally plunging elevator with a woman who looks
like arsenio hall in drag a la coming to america. she would have breath
like a pow camp isolation pit and be wearing half a bottle of giorgio.
first the elevator would play a hiphop version of 'betty davis eyes' over
rob base 'it takes two'. she would start dancing the bump. then the vocal
trio of joe cocker, willie nelson and biz markie would start singing
'feelings'. she would blubber the story of her miserable life and her
voice would be sampled over the theme to the jetsons. "meet ma-tilda - 'my
mother hates me that's why she named me that', and-her-problems - 'i was
born male, but.." then she would horsewhip me until i begged to hear the
tony orlando catalog, then 'spock sings', then the first experimental moog
concert played at 110db, then nazi folk songs, then every dj that ever was
saying "throw your hands in the air, now wave them like you just don't
care, somebody, anybody, everybody say oh yeah (oh yeah!). somebody scream
(aaaaaaaghhhh!)", then 'liberace does the tango', then 'montovani plays
monk', then "she's a bad mamma jamma", then the b-side eternal mix of "love
ride" performed by the peter brown/ expose/ nocera chorus, then the
backwards dub of doctor demento's favorite christmas carols...
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End of SubGenius Digest
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