Today's Topics:
rock lyric stickers
Another Rogue SubGenius surfaces:
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Message-Id: <8912202108.AA02981@magic.riacs.edu>
Date: Wed, 20 Dec 89 13:08:16 PST
From: David Rogers <drogers@riacs.edu>
Subject: rock lyric stickers
Message-Id: <EZWGAd600jWKA92lg1@andrew.cmu.edu>
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 89 12:00:25 -0500 (EST)
From: Chris Koenigsberg <ckk+@andrew.cmu.edu>
There's a new amendment-to-an-unrelated-bill in the Pa. State House to
require warning labels on all records sold in Pa., if any song on an
album advocates one of a number of things like taking drugs,
INVOLUNTARY DEVIATE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, [etc]
Whoh... that's one noun and three modifiers... I guess they specifically
wanted to avoid regulating the other 7 types of intercourse, such as:
Involuntary normal sexual intercourse (i.e., rape)
Voluntary deviate sexual intercourse (my favorite)
All types of asexual intercourse (I'll let you figure this out)
In any case, any budding songwriters out there who can incorporate the
words INVOLUNTARY DEVIATE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE into a song with a standard
rock-n-roll beat?? The words sorta lack rhythm...
David Christopher Rogers
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Date: Wed, 20 Dec 89 18:02 EST
From: Michael Travers <mt@media-lab.media.mit.edu>
Subject: Another Rogue SubGenius surfaces:
Message-Id: <19891220230207.6.MT@OUROBOROS.MEDIA.MIT.EDU>
title: OF METAPHYSICS AND THE MAKING OF USEFUL THINGS
author: DOUGLAS MARTIN
NEW YORK -- In India, that ancient land of cults, a new belief
system has sprouted in recent years.
Adherents, called Redmondians, follow the teachings of the one
they call the Cosmic Puppeteer.
The central scripture is a 5,000-word paid advertisement placed
in this newspaper by Sanford Redmond in 1980.
It elucidated a Theory of Nature, suggesting that man might not
be much smarter -- or fundamentally in much more control of things --
than, say, a rock, because everything is essentially made of the
same particles and governed by the same uncontrollable forces.
On a recent morning, Redmond, who regards the cult with wry
amusement, fielded one call from an Indian disciple, but for the
most part his mind was elsewhere.
A 65-year-old inventor and tycoon, he was in command of his
hectic factory on the fourth floor of an industrial building in a
dismal corner of the South Bronx. ``It's push, push, push,'' he
said.
This is a guru of decidedly worldly accomplishment.
While a young man in the Army, Redmond was part of a team that
built the atomic bomb (albeit such a small part that he didn't know
what they were building), and went on to make many millions by
inventing a high-speed machine that stamps out most of America's
butter patties.
Lately, people from all over the world -- led by the Japanese--
are beating a path to his door to place orders for his latest
invention.
``This is bigger than the tin can,'' promised Redmond, a short,
intense man not overly given to reticence.
The invention is a plastic package used to dispense substances --
ketchup, for example, or detergent -- that can be easily opened with
one hand.
It looks simple: Two tiny buckets fastened together with a
common top and a single central opening.
But it took 17 years from inspiration to marketplace. So far, 10
machines that make the packages have been sold for $700,000 each,
mostly to big companies.
Other potential customers are the United States Army, Disney
World and McDonald's.
What Redmond represents is good old American ingenuity, tenacity
and practicality -- qualities that many, including him, fear are
disappearing.
``I don't think the United States is too competitive in too many
things,'' he said.
But he points proudly to a page in the annual report of the
Mitsubishi Corp., owner of the exclusive Japanese patent license to
his latest brainchild, trademarked ``dispenSRpak.''
Said the giant company, ``The market potential is enormous.''
Redmond -- who now lives on a Connecticut estate but grew up in
Manhattan, where he still has an apartment -- learned that his
grandfather was an inventor only after he died.
His father, a butter wholesaler, tried unsuccessfully to make a
better butter-patty machine.
Redmond (who did) came to inventions after serving in the Army
at Los Alamos, where the bomb was made, and dropping out of Cornell
because he was bored and not getting any younger.
His first success was a machine that could wrap 500 frozen
packages a minute when larger machines could do just 100.
There is so much Redmond wants to tell you.
Particularly about the new package: When you squeeze the two
little buckets together, the substance squirts in a flow so
directed you could write your name with it. Almost 99 percent is
recovered.
Tampering is quickly detectable. It uses less plastic than
traditional -- and larger -- two-hand alternatives.
Germans like packages in which one bucket is filled with
mayonnaise, one with ketchup.
Japanese like mustard and ketchup. Potential markets include
salve for babies' bottoms.
Looking very much the conservative businessman in a vested gray
flannel suit, Redmond showed videos of foreign commercials
featuring his packages.
He also showed a tape of weightless astronauts gleefully
squirting peanut butter on crackers.
But why is he doing this in the tattered South Bronx? Where
else? His 35-employee organization has been there for a quarter
century.
It is waterfront property on a major rail line accessibile to
everywhere by freeway.
``This area has been the biggest waste of the best industrial
property in New York,'' he said.
His interests, though, extend beyond the Bruckner Expressway.
``I'm glad about glasnost,'' he said. ``We're going to do a lot of
butter-pat business in Russia.''
When the subject of creativity arises, Redmond's precise
language turns fuzzy.
Seemingly, ideas sneak up. Maybe he's looking out an airplane
window or watching a football game.
``One day it just occurs to me how to do it,'' he said. His
approach differs from that of Edison, who he says locked up
hundreds of brilliant engineers until they emerged with a light
bulb.
``I do everything individually,'' the Cosmic Puppeteer said.
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End of SubGenius Digest
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