Today's Topics:
SubGenius Digest #391 (2 messages)
Is ``Bob'' Tm or mT?
Bertrand Russell, Kook Lover
SRL
Cardinal reveals two exorcisms
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Message-ID: <9003051340.AA03323@psyche.mit.edu>
Date: Mon, 5 Mar 90 08:40:39 EST
From: Michael Turyn <mturyn@psyche.mit.edu>
To: SubGenius%MC.LCS.MIT.EDU@mintaka.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Re: SubGenius Digest #391
``Say it ain't so, "Bob"?''
Son, we of the Church have gotten used to finding out things about
``Bob'' that would fry your hair, dry-hump your mind, and GAWK YOUR EYES OUT.
Every member of the Church in good standing eventually has no time left
for anything other than answering to the hundreds of paternity and sexual
harassment suits (the latter usually brought by heart-- and other-organ--
broken mammals that the Dobbs has used and thrown away in his lust--frenzied,
vicious, happy--go--lucky way) that we as Church ``members'', tools that we
are, assume PERSONAL responsibility for. We have no time left to avoid
ending sentences with prepositions or to avoid dangling our participles
because ``Bob'' CANNOT (or WILL not) stop dangling his, if you know what I
mean and even if you don 't.
I have answered three paternity suits in the time it has taken to type
in this message.
[NOW you know why your care packages from Dallas take so long; Stang just
can 't get a Texas judge to believe that he could have anything to do with
a paternity suit, even though he tries to check in the Ubertotz (TM) as
material evidence. See what Dobbs can do for YOU my friend.]
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Message-ID: <9003051357.AA08755@css.itd.nrl.navy.mil>
Date: Mon, 5 Mar 90 08:57:29 -0500
From: Jim Hofmann 5577 <hofmann@itd.nrl.navy.mil>
To: SubGenius%MC.LCS.MIT.EDU@Mintaka.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Is ``Bob'' Tm or mT?
Yes, it's true - a year or so ago, "they" (the "Church") threatened
lawsuits against ``Badger'' comics for using ``Bob'' in their comic.
Bob Black has also been threatened for including his rendering of ``Bob''
(in a straightjacket, I believe) on his posters.
The irony is that ``Bob'' is a stolen property in the first place!!!
The moral of this story, kiddies:
Get outta the sandbox while you can!!!!
Eating out the insides,
The Church Mouse.
(c) 1990 Everyone who doesn't have a copyright to their name.
``Pink is in!''
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Message-ID: <9003051448.AA21769@juniper>
Date: Mon, 5 Mar 90 09:48:55 est
From: Eric Haines <eye!erich@wrath.cs.cornell.edu>
To: cornell!subgenius%media-lab.media.mit.edu@wrath.cs.cornell.edu,
erich@juniper
Subject: Bertrand Russell, Kook Lover
In "An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish", an essay in his book "Unpopular
Essays", copyright 1950, Bertrand Russell ends with:
But we have been getting too solemn. Superstitions are not always
dark and cruel; often they add to the gaiety of life. I received once a
communication from the god Osiris, giving me his telephone number; he
lived, at that time, in a suburb of Boston. Although I did not enroll
myself among his worshippers, his letter gave me pleasure. I have
frequently received letters from men announcing themselves as the Messiah,
and urging me not to omit to mention this important fact in my lectures.
During prohibition in America, there was a sect which maintained that the
communion service ought to be celebrated in whisky, not in wine; this
tenet gave them a legal right to a supply of hard liquor, and the sect
grew rapidly. There is in England a sect which maintains that the English
are the lost ten tribes; there is a stricter sect, which maintains that
they are only the tribes of Ephraim and Manasseh. Whenever I encounter a
member of either of these sects, I profess myself an adherent of the
other, and much pleasant argumentation results. I like also the men who
study the Great Pyramid, with a view to deciphering its mystical lore.
Many great books have been written on this subject, some of which have
been presented to me by their authors. It is a singular fact that the
Great Pyramid always predicts the history of the world accurately up to
the date of publication of the book in question, but after that date it
becomes less reliable. Generally the author expects, very soon, wars in
Egypt, followed by Armageddon and the coming of Antichrist, but by this
time so many people have been recognized as Antichrist that the reader is
reluctantly driven to skepticism.
I admire especially a certain prophetess who lived beside a lake in
northern New York State about the year 1820. She announced to her
numerous followers that she possessed the power of walking on water, and
that she proposed to do so at 11 o'clock on a certain morning. At the
stated time, the faithful assembled in their thousands beside the lake.
She spoke to them saying: "Are you all entirely persuaded that I can walk
on water?" With one voice they replied: "We are." "In that case," she
announced, "there is no need for me to do so." And they all went home
much edified.
Perhaps the world would lose some of its interest and variety if such
beliefs were wholly replaced by cold science. Perhaps we may allow
ourselves to be glad of the Abecedarians, who were so called because,
having rejected all profane learning, they thought it wicked to learn the
ABC. And we may enjoy the perplexity of the South American Jesuit who
wondered how the sloth could have traveled, since the Flood, all the way
from Mount Ararat to Peru--a journey which its extreme tardiness of
locomotion rendered almost incredible. A wise man will enjoy the goods of
which there is a plentiful supply, and of intellectual rubbish he will
find an abundant diet, in our own age as in every other.
There are definite Subgenius tendencies in the above. So, is a genius allowed
to be a Subgenius?
Eric Haines
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Message-ID: <9003051759.AA00326@beethoven.MIT.EDU>
Date: Mon, 05 Mar 90 12:58:57 EST
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
To: strata@eddie.mit.edu
CC: subgenius@MC.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: SRL
} Date: Fri, 2 Mar 1990 2:35:24 EST
} From: "M. Strata Rose" <strata@fenchurch.mit.edu>
} ...
} BTW, in case I can't find it in my copiously disarrayed files, can
} someone email me the phone number of Mark et. al at Survival Research?
M. Pauline assures us that he is listed in the San Francisco phone
directory, under his own name. But to save you time I called SF
information, (415) 555-1212. His number is (415) 441-5828.
That'll be 50 cents, please.
-- dr foo
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Gary L. Dryfoos | "...onlookers were
|ARPA/Internet: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu | overwhelmed with
| UUCP/Usenet: ...mit-eddie!athena.mit.edu!dryfoo| a fear that lasted
| Phone: (617) 253-0184 / (617) 825-6115 | for several days."
| USPS: Box 505 Cambridge, MA 02142 |
+=============================================================================
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Message-ID: <9003051800.AA05802@riscy.metaware>
Date: Mon, 5 Mar 90 10:00:15 PDT
From: "At these prices, I can't NAME names" <metaware!riscy!adam@ucscc.ucsc.edu>
To: MINTAKA.lcs.mit.edu!SubGenius%MC.LCS.MIT.EDU@ucscc.ucsc.edu
Subject: Re: SubGenius Digest #391
>Message-ID: <19900305005844.1.MT@OUROBOROS.MEDIA.MIT.EDU>
>Date: Sun, 4 Mar 90 19:58 EST
>From: Michael Travers <mt@media-lab.media.mit.edu>
>To: subgenius@MC.lcs.mit.edu
>Subject: Say it ain't so, "Bob"
>
>DOBBS IMPLICATED IN FBI SKULLDUGGERY - Associated Press, Feb. 8, 199O
>
>Documents uncovered through a Freedom of Information lawsuit indicate
>the participation of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, leader of the popular
>counterculture religion known as "The Church of the SubGenius" in FBI
>plans to quash student protest in the late 196O's, according to a probe
>by the Christic Institute.
>
>At a press conference this morning, Boyd Rice, a spokesperson for the
^^^^^^^^^
>Christic Institute, released copies of recently declassified FBI
>
Correct me if I am wrong, but I beleive Boyd Rice is the same
Boyd Rice of ReSearch "Pranks" fame. While he may seem cool and interesting
in the book, I have it from a good source (Andrea Juno, co-editor of ReSearch
and an EX-friend of Boyd's) that he has become part of a neo-nazi group.
In fact, she even showed me a white-supremacy type magazine in which he
was featured prominently, brandishing a knife and wearing a Brown shirt type
of uniform.
What this probably is, is one of Boyd's right-wing pranks designed
to discredit the Church or the Christic Institute, or both.
Do with this information what you may.
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Message-ID: <9003060347.AA22490@juniper>
Date: Mon, 5 Mar 90 22:47:49 est
From: Eric Haines <eye!erich@wrath.cs.cornell.edu>
To: cornell!subgenius%media-lab.media.mit.edu@wrath.cs.cornell.edu,
erich@juniper
Subject: Cardinal reveals two exorcisms
New York (AP) - Cardinal John O'Connor said two exorcisms have been performed
in the New York area within the past year, and said "some kinds of rock music"
help the devil.
"Diabolically instigated violence is on the rise," O'Connor said in his
sermon Sunday at St. Patrick's Cathedral.
Divorce and abortion are two examples, he told parishioners [divorce?].
He said the Roman Catholic archdiocese's vicar general, Monsignor Patrick
Sheridan, approved the use of exorcism, a ritual to cast out an evil spirit,
in two recent cases of demonic possession.
"We hope. As far as we know they have been successful," the cardinal said.
Possession "seems to be very rare...Psychological, medical and other causes of
what appears to be possession must be ruled out," O'Connor said.
According to O'Connor, heavy-metal music in particular "can help trap people,
especially teen-agers," into devil worship, and singled out the song "Suicide
Solution" by Ozzy Osbourne as an example. The parents of a teen-ager who
killed himself while listening to the song sued Osbourne in 1986.
--Eric Haines
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End of SubGenius Digest
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