Today's Topics:
Chain Letter
The OWL Party
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Message-ID: <9003310619.AA04748@trout.nosc.mil>
Date: Fri, 30 Mar 90 20:43:05 EST
From: "Mitchell L. Silverman" <ll-xn!ucsd!pro-exchange.cts.com!reverend@eddie.mit.edu>
To: SUBGENIUS@mc.lcs.mit.edu.uucp
CC: ucsd!reverend@eddie.mit.edu
Subject: Chain Letter
This is in the nature of an experiment in computational theology. I'm not
SUPERSTITIOUS, mind, but it can't hurt to send this thing out. Who knows,
maybe my dad will hit the $30 million lottery.
How the rest of you out there are going to send this to twenty other people
each, I have no idea -- but why don't you? Think of is as computational
theologally equivalent to Robert Morris' Internet Worm. Yeah, yeah, that's
the ticket.
******************************
WITH LOVE ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
This paper has been sent to you for good luck. The original is in New
England. It has been around the world nine times. The luck has now been
sent to you. You will receive good luck within four days of receiving
this letter--provided you, in turn, send it on!
This is no joke. You will receive good luck in the mail. Send no money!
Send copies to the people you think need good luck. DonUt send money as
fate has no price. Do not keep this letter. It must leave your hands
within 96 hours.
An R.A.F. officer received $470,000.00.
Joe Elliot received $40,000.00 and lost it because he broke the chain.
While in the Philippines, Gene Welch lost his wife 51 days after receiving
the letter. He failed to circulate the letter. However, before her death
he received $7,750,000.00.
Please send twenty copies and see what happens in four days. The chain
comes from Venezuela and was written by Saint Anthony Ve Group, a
missionary from South Africa. Since the copy must tour the world, you
must make twenty copies and send them to friends and associates. After a
few days you will get a surprise--this is true! Even if you are not
superstitious.
Do note the following: Constantine Dias received the chain in 1953. He
asked his secretary to make the copies and send them out. A few days
later he won a lottery of two million dollars. Carlo Daditt, an office
employee received the letter and forgot it had to leave his hands in 96
hours. He lost his job. Later after finding the letter again, he mailed
twenty copies. A few days later, he got a better job. Dalan Fairchild
received the letter and, not believing, threw the letter away. Nine days
later he died.
In 1917, the letter, received by a young woman in California, was very
faded and barely readable. She promised herself that she would retype the
letter and send it on, she put it aside to do later. She was plagued with
various problems including expensive car repairs. The letter did not
leave her hands in 96 hours. She finally typed the letter as promised and
she got a new car.
Remember, send no money. Do not ignore this.
St. Jude
It works!
******************************
I've corrected some spelling errors, but left syntax and so forth unchanged.
Remember: send no money. Not that I could anyway -- no return address on the
envelope.
Kallisti!
The Rev
UUCP: crash!pro-exchange!reverend
ARPA: crash!pro-exchange!reverend@nosc.mil
INET: reverend@pro-exchange.cts.com
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Message-ID: <B7B03F309ADFE03CC1@rvax.ccit.arizona.edu>
Date: Sat, 31 Mar 90 20:41 MST
From: LIPPARD@rvax.ccit.arizona.edu
To: subgenius@MC.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: The OWL Party
In 1976, various people ran for office in Washington state as
candidates of the OWL party ("Out With Logic, On With Lunacy"). The
following are some excerpts from the 1976 Voters Pamphlet which
described the political stances of these candidates (I got these from
Brick Pillow's contribution to The Connection #164, March 10, 1990,
pp. 39-40; $3 from Erwin S. Strauss, P.O. Box 3343, Fairfax, VA
22038).
Jack "The Ripoff" Lemon, candidate for lieutenant governor: "My
platform is a four-cornered triangle which has as its cornerstone a
piece of pink venetian marble I picked up while spelunking in the
catacombs under the Vatican. ... Because I am running virtually
unopposed [only seven candidates --BP] I can promise that within 24
hours after my election, heads will roll at the state capitol. This will
be accomplished by the renting of two Porta-Pottys, placing them on
wheels and pushing them over the precipice behind the Governor's
Mansion. If you care enough to send the very least, vote for a Lemon
and throw the rascals out."
"Fast" Lucie Griswold, candidate for secretary of state: "It has come
to my attention ... that no Secretary of State has ever been able to
take shorthand or do typing. It is my intention, therefore, when
elected, to take a correspondence course in typing and shorthand,
thereby giving this state something it has never had or wanted.
Furthermore, I am taking unequivocal stands against the following:
(1) The heartbreak of psoriasis; (2) Bed wetting; (3) The big 'O'; (4)
Post nasal drip. I wish only that my opponents would do likewise.
Because of my expertise in the culinary arts, I have devised two new
recipes. One is for welfare rolls, the other for unemployment rolls.
Using a new and special yeast, you can't raise the dough no matter
how much you knead it. Remember, a vote for 'Fast' Lucie is a vote
for the other side so throw the rascals out."
Jack T. Perciful, candidate for state treasurer: "Because I am
descended from a long line of carpet baggers, my credentials for this
office are impeccable. Few know that I am called in financial circles
'Penny-Pinching And Penurious Perciful.' Actually my father and
mother wanted to name me 'Clean-As-A-Hound's-Tooth Perciful' but
that name had already been appropriated. I, as the spearhead of the
OWL movement's fiscal programs, stand two square for the following:
(1) To increase revenues without increases taxes we can take
advantage of our renewable resources by packaging and selling
transparent fog and dehydrated water. (2) Because municipal and
school bonds are non-taxable their rates are lower. We should
borrow more at these lower rates, retaining the difference to pay the
salary increases of our elected officials who are sorely in need of
additional funds. (3) We should buy everything on credit cards for
as every woman knows, this makes the budget easier to balance. (4)
