You want to like as many things as you can. You want to *have* as
many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not
everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The
people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished
countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with
males. The people who want to *ruin everything*. They want the
things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to
have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them,
they just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't
say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?
We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly
state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable
with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours.
Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication
can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up
your world with a lot of hard-to-perceive subtleties? You wither like
a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why
we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker, easier
ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out
and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are
we?
We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other
we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real
thing. People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the
pre-season cut. People who are a little *more* than you, because we
make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money.
Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were
more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other
we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than
ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays
there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs,
as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific
than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see
them; they make you; you join us.
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The above item appeared in the brand new issue of The Stark Fist of
Removal which gets sent to all paid-up Reverends. To get yours send a
nontrivial amount of money to The SubGenius Foundation, PO Box 140306,
Dallas, Texas, 75214. This has been an unpaid religious advertisment.
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End of SubGenius Digest
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