Today's Topics:
CON Chain Mail
SubGenius Digest #432
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Message-ID: <9005011406.AA17597@uk.ac.cam.cl.coton>
Date: Tue, 1 May 90 15:06:01 +0100
From: smm12@computer-lab.cambridge.ac.uk
To: SubGenius <SubGenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
Subject: CON Chain Mail
A friend of mine received the following chain letter, reproduced below with
my comments in brackets. I hope I'm right in thinking others might find it
interesting or amusing - I'm new to this stuff...
It's certainly quite the oddest chain letter I've ever seen.
[Needless to say, I am not recommending that anyone start a chain letter of
any sort, let alone one like this...]
==
WITH LOVE ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! [Yeah? I'd love a viable fusion reactor...]
This paper has been send to you for good luck. The original is in New England.
It has been around the world nine times. The LUCK has now been send to you.
You will receive Good Luck within four days of receiving this letter ---
provided you, send it on. [Pity they aren't sending SLACK.]
This is no joke. You will receive Good Luck in the mail. ["This package
contains luck. Do not bend, fold, staple, mutilate, or X-ray"] "SEND NO
MONEY." [Are you reading this, xibo?] Send copies to people you think need
Good Luck. Do not keep this letter --- it must leave your hands within
96 hours. [That can be arranged. Where's the shredder?]
An R.A.F. Officer received $470,000.00.
John Elliot received $40,000.00 and lost it because he broke the chain.
While in the Phillippines, Gene Welch lost his wife, 51 days after receiving
the letter. [What, he mislaid her somewhere?] He failed to circulate the
letter. However, before her death she received $7,555,000.00. [Must've been
a big consolation to her.]
Please send twenty copies and see what happens in four days. [I get arrested?]
The chain comes from Venezuela [Venezuela, New England, I suppose] and was
written by Saul DeGroup, missionary from South America. Since the copy must
tour the world [I thought it already had?] you must make twenty copies and
send them to friends and associates. After a few days you will get a surprise
[The feds will knock on your door?] --- this is true!!! Even if you are not
superstitious.
Do note the following: Constantine Dias received the chain in 1953. [That's
almost eight o'clock.] He asked his secretary to make twenty copies and send
them out. A few days later he won a lottery of 2 million dollars. Carlos
Dakkitt, an office employee, received the letter and forgot it had to leave
his hands within 96 hours. He lost his job. Latter after finding the letter
again, he malled twenty copies. A few days later he got a better job. [As a
proofreader?] Dalan Fairchild received the letter and not believing,
threw the letter away, nine day later he died.
In 1987, the letter received by a young woman in Calf. was very faded and
barely readable. She promised herself that she would retype the letter and
send it on, but she put it aside to do latter, she was plagued with various
problems including expensive car repairs, the letter did not leave her hands
in 96 hours. She finally typed the letter as promised and won a new car!!!
REMEMBER, SEND NO MONEY [It's Not Allowed?]. DO NOT IGNORE THIS LETTER.
ST. JUDE
It works.
==
I note that St. Jude is the patron saint of Lost Causes.
Looks to me as though chain letters are becoming a whole new religion... anyone
for The Church of the Blessed Postage Stamp? ["Send six copies to your friends
and your SOUL WILL BE SAVED! Halleluya!"]
mathew.
Opinions expressed above are not even mine, let alone those of anyone important.
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Message-ID: <9005020523.AA09335@psyche.mit.edu>
Date: Wed, 2 May 90 01:23:05 EDT
From: Michael Turyn <mturyn@psyche.mit.edu>
To: SubGenius%MC.LCS.MIT.EDU@mintaka.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Re: SubGenius Digest #432
Yes friends, it 's true:
In other countries, folks _have_ to renew their subscriptions to the
``Stark Fist'', whether they want to or not.
Here, you are merely required to _want_ to.....
---Doctors for Doctors (and God Against All)
1st Church of Kaspar the Withdrawn Wolf--Boy.
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End of SubGenius Digest
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