For about a year now, the city of Tustin, California, has been plagued by a
rash of cat killings. Hundreds of pet owners have found their kitties
horribly mutilated. Orange County Animal Control officers explained that
new sonstruction in the hills around Tustin had destroyed the habitat of
the small animals that local coyotes prey upon, leading the coyotes to
feast on the city's felines. But others saw a more sinister cause. Some
area church leaders suggested the cats were being killed in Satanic
rituals. So the county autopsied more than 100 cats. Based upon bite
marks and other evidense, coroners concluded that the cats had been killed
by coyotes, not by people. But hey, no one ever said that the Satanists
were 'human.'
Tom Cruise took a break from filming his latest movie to take part in Earth
Day celebrations in New York City. During a press conference, Cruise told
reporters that he was doing "everything I can" to help the environment.
When asked how his hobby of auto racing (which is also the subject of his
new movie) fits in with his raised consciousness, Cruise got a little
huffy. He told reporters that auto racing isn't bad because only a few
people do it. Oh, yes, there IS more to him than just a sexy smile.
Bill Bennett apparently isn't happy just being drug czar, so he's added pop
culture to his beat. During a tour of a drug treatment center in
Puttsburgh, Bennett came upon a poster of TV cartoon character Bart
Simpson. Bennett, who only acts like a cartoon character, turned on the
patients. "You guys aren't watching 'The Simpsons,' are you? That's not
going to help you any."
The Roman Catholic Church has sent mayor of Levico Terme, Italy, a $22,000
bill for services rendered. But the mayor refuses to pay. The trouble
began in 1630. The bubonic plague swept through Levico Terme, and city
fathers asked the church for a special Mass to help ward off disease.
Well, the church held the Mass and kept holding it for 360 years. Now it
wants payment. On the bright side, the city hasn't had much of a problem
with bubonic plague lately.
