------------------------------
Date: Sun, 29 Jul 90 20:12 EDT
From: Michael Travers <mt@media-lab.media.mit.edu>
Subject: Contact spirits through MS/DOS, win $200
Message-Id: <19900730001206.1.MT@OUROBOROS.MEDIA.MIT.EDU>
From: rkmorris@cdp.UUCP
Subject: the divine comedy continues
Message-ID: <225600018@cdp>
Date: 13 Jul 90 02:02:00 GMT
Thanks to all of you who have made this translation possible,
MESSAGE FROM THE ALIENS: TRANSLATIONS OF THE MUTE
NIGHTIME
I was walking in a grassy field somewhere around midnight, curisoty pulling
at my brow, growing closer to a glowing light beyond some nearby trees. Passing
through the thicket, and a few steps more I found myself holding a rail
attached to a ramp which slanted slightly upward. I was pulled into a circular
room. Standing at zero latitude I could look up, down, fore and aft. Before I
thought to turn and run I was motioned down into a pool of liquid by a form
seated at what appeared to be a control panel going over some last second
calculations. He appeared to be in concious hurry.
I stepped forward and down. No fear followed. I soon felt the liquid lapping
at my nose... The next instant I was looking upon another world...
A vaction Paradise!
NIGHTIME AGAIN,
I found myself in what appeared to be an open parking lot being pulled
closer to a rail which was attached to a ramp which slanted slightly upward
through the mist and ended at a door which opened into another circular room,
bare of any decor but had no steps leading down. Noting the floor and moving
forward I looked up to a balcony which arced around the room. Seated in the
balcony were a number of figures holding my presence. As I absorbed the scene
my eyes locked into the eyes of a being whose penetrating commands still push
at my instinct but was allowed to be broken by the spirits echoing their call:.
Dawn buzzed in my ear.
Concious action, awakened by the artifacts of man, soon found me fumbling
for the keys which would allow me entrance into the unlimited realms of the
orbiting universe which whirls around and through us.
The words included with this sample file are an attempt to translate
communications which occured over a number of years with spirits who have
an interest in the affairs of the human specie. In my contact with
these people, there was never any verbal exchange but somehow I was
commanded to compile this dictionary which may be added to and read in
any manner.
At the DOS prompt type READ and the filename(s) you wish to read.
" " " " " DIR for a list of file names.
To add your own files use copy con or a word processor and translate
them to ASCII. Use of a hard drive speeds things up.
If you feel these files provoke your interest, please pass them along.
If you would like the rest of the dictionary which keeps growing, please
reply to this topic, contact the SYSOP where you found these files or find the
person who gave you this disk.
*** What do YOU think they are saying? ***
For a closer inspection download MESSAGE.ZIP from the following IBM boards:
You could be UNZIPPING IT it in a few minutes! See if you can figure out
WHAT the F-word means: Look closely for clues. A prize of $200.00 Will BE
awarded for the best four word definition.
ELITE BBS
1-513-777-5429 2400 BAUD N-8-1-F 24hrs.
CINCINNATI COMPUTER CONNECTION
1-513-752-1055 Up to 9600 BAUD N-8-1-F 24 hrs.
1-513-752-8248 9600 BAUD
Artifical Intelligence is the cart being pulled by Natural Intelligience and
man, realizing this, begins to reshape the wheel. If you take a close look, you
may see it turn.
If you have problems downloading, you may send a check for $5.00 to:
ROGER MORRIS, INSTANT REFLECTIONS 1-513-489-7764
5310 E. KEMPER RD.
CINCINNATI, OH.
45241
If you need help, post your response here. This file is posted to 48 Peacenet
conferences.
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 30 Jul 90 10:21:13 EDT
From: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu
Subject: Special Effects for your favorite holiday
Message-Id: <9007301421.AA08626@BEETHOVEN.MIT.EDU>
Cc: well!ces@apple.com
Sorry for all the headers below, but I'm willing to give credit to
everyone who passed this along 'til it got here. (Notice, also, that
our own Rev. Dr. Little Timmy "No, Not My Thumb! Aarrrgghhh!" Dobbstraz
was the originator, and yet never sent it here. I'm sure he had his
reasons. Ah well, it's in plenty of time for next year's Fourthal
Extravaganze Julien.)
-- dr foo
------- Forwarded Message
Date: Mon, 30 Jul 90 10:05:33 EDT
From: wlcarrol@MIT.EDU
Subject: Special Effects for your favorite holiday
To: dryfoo@MIT.EDU
- ------- Forwarded Message
From: lwvanels@ATHENA.MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 14 Jun 90 11:31:27 EDT
To: gli@ATHENA.MIT.EDU, slugfest@ATHENA.MIT.EDU
From: ftchong@Think.COM (Frederic T. Chong)
To: third_east@ATHENA.MIT.EDU, lacsap@media-lab.mit.edu
- - ------- Forwarded Message
Date: Thu, 14 Jun 90 11:21:19 EDT
From: peter@Think.COM
To: science@Think.COM, fun@Think.COM
Date: Thu, 14 Jun 90 02:43:50 EDT
From: Steve Strassmann <straz@media-lab.media.mit.edu>
To: fx@media-lab.media.mit.edu
In honor of Poindexter getting sent to jail, and the upcoming
flag-burning amendment getting passed, here's a little home recipe for
you all. Passed to me by way of a friend at Bell Labs, who got it from
yet another friend.
- - --------------------------------------------------------------------
This from our western correspondent.
Dissolve 10 ounces of Sodium Nitrate in 1/2 gallon of water. Thoroughly
soak cotton flag and set to dry. When flag is dry, dip quickly into
solution again, wetting, but not saturating entire flag. Allow to dry
thoroughly, preferably spread out in sun (do not use clothes dryer).
While waiting for flag to dry, prepare a solution of 1 pint water and 4
ounces Strontium Chloride and a solution of 1 pint water, 2 ounces of
Potassium Permanganate, and 6 ounces of Cobalt Chloride.
When flag is dry, paint or sponge Potassium Permanganate/Cobalt Chloride
solution onto blue parts and Strontium Chloride solution onto red parts.
Dry and repeat application.
Now, prepare solution of 2 ounces Potassium Chlorate in 8 ounces water
and saturate each star and border of flag all around.
When lit, flag will sparkle gaily with little bursts of red, white, and
blue and tiny explosions. It's a lot of trouble, but it's worth it.
[from alan filipski, a friend in phoenix.
i haven't tried this but he's reliable.]
- - ------- End Forwarded Message
- ------- End of Forwarded Message
------- End of Forwarded Message
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 30 Jul 90 10:51:40 EDT
From: Alexander Kay <alexx%pro-angmar.uucp@BBN.COM>
Subject: Dr. Bronner and Bob?
Message-Id: <9007301849.AA12973@alphalpha.com>
Does anyone out there know what connection(s) if any there are between Dr.
Bronner (Of Dr. Bronner's Almond Oil 18-in-1 Pure Castile Soap) and Bob? I
recently was shown one of the labels for this remarkable soap, and noted a
strong resembelance to some SubGenius ranters I have heard. Any info,
theories, or wild, unfounded speculation would be most welcome.
Alexx
INET: pro-angmar!alexx@alphalpha.com
UUCP: ...!uunet!alphalpha!pro-angmar!alexx
Alexx Kay (617) 891-5410
3 Norumbega Terrace, Waltham, MA 02154
"When *are* we, anyway?"
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 31 Jul 90 02:04:26 CDT
From: My Alter Ego <UC482529%UMCVMB.BITNET@mitvma.mit.edu>
To: elbows@ghoti.lcs.mit.edu, subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: Forward from Harper's/Aug 90/page 36
Message-Id: <9007310715.AA21264@media-lab.media.mit.edu>
------------------------------------------
(Personal Statement)
THE WONDER YEARS
This essay, by Hugh Gallagher, won first prize in the humor
category of the 1990 Scholastic Writing Awards. It appeared in
the May issue of Literary Cavalcade, a magazine of contemporary
fiction and student writing published by Scholastic in New York
City. Gallagher, who is eighteen, grew up in Newtown Square,
Pennsylvania, and will attend New York University this fall.
3A. ESSAY
IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW
YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING
QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR
ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED DEFINE YOU AS
A PERSON?
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing
ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch
breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention.
I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning
operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for
three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I
can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and
I can cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an
expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once
single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basis from
a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was
scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries.
When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I
enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair
electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless
bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy
evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I
receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won
the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a
traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft
floral arrangements have earned me fame in international circles.
Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly
accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David
Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire
dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every
food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations
for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a
chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated
with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The
laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all
paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact
origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of lifebut forgot to
write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using
only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I
have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri
Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I
have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 31 Jul 90 08:48:25 EST
From: Joshua Glasser <shadow!joshua@uu.psi.com>
Subject: the 5ive nostrils of RA
Message-Id: <9007311348.AA01619@shadow.>
5ive nostrils
-------------
me looked down
and there they there were
5ive nostrils
sitting in the tup o' me paw
a goodly number
a right goodly number, 5ive
not 6ix, not 9ine
but 5ive
me wondered
whence the why of they from
me paused to recommense
and recommense did me of
to count them again
5ive nostrils
a goodly number indeed
me looked up at me teacher standing o'er me
and me looked down at me hand
my god
how does one explain away
5ive nostrils
----------------------------------------------------------------------
) (
/(_ _)\ Joshua Glasser
)^\\_\-=-/_//^( Artificial Intelligence Technologies, Incorporated
/o (@)/.\(@) o\ 40 Saw Mill River Road
\/ ^__ ^ __^ \/ Hawthorne, New York 10532
\|\VVV/|/ (914) 347 - 6860 Fax: (914) 347 - 3182
\\AAA//
\~~~/ UUCP: uupsi!shadow!joshua or uupsi!ait.com!joshua
))|(( ARPA: JOSHUA%AIT.COM@UU.PSI.COM
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 30 Jul 90 16:20:22 edt
From: Eric Haines <eye!erich@wrath.cs.cornell.edu>
Subject: I think she's got it
Message-Id: <9007302020.AA05387@juniper>
>From an Internet newsgroup, we read the following report:
Voyager Mission Status Report
May 2, 1990
On April 17, Attitude and Articulation Control Subsystem (AACS),
Computer Command Subsystem (CCS), and Flight Data Subsystem (FDS) memory
readouts and a playback of PWS and Imaging Science (ISS) data were per-
formed. (The ISS data consisted of the "family portrait" images lost due to
rain during the March 23 playback.) Due to a maser failure at the 70 meter
^^^^
antenna in Spain (DSS-63),[...]
^^^^^
The rain in Spain affects mainly antenna gain...?
------------------------------
Send administrative requests to: subgenius-request@mc.lcs.mit.edu
***********************
End of SubGenius Digest
***********************
