Today's Topics:
A Horrible Nightmare
Bob is DEAD
Oh Heavenly Dog
SubGenius Digest #1
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Date: Wed, 19 Sep 90 18:52:58 EDT
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
Subject: A Horrible Nightmare
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
This is what I thought, for just a long terrible moment, when I first
saw the most recent Subg Digest. Imagine the sinking cold feeling:
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Date: Wed, 19 Sep 90 18:03:20 EDT
From: Subgenius-request@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Subgenius Digest V2 #2
Sender: ezf@BBN.COM
To: subgenius@BBN.COM
Subject: Subgenius Digest V2 #2
Reply-To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subgenius Digest Wed, 19 Sep 90 Volume 2 : Issue 2
Today's Topics:
your dog is dead
your dog's dead meat
your dog is dinner for me and my baby
your dog has gone
and it wont be long
just a prandial repast for me and my baby
your dog was tough
so lean and tough
but i'll swiss it for hours for me and my baby
you fed it for years
kept it by your side
that sweet old dog is dinner for me and my baby
today we eat
but tomorrow comes
and when i hear those cries
i'll be looking for dinner for me and my baby
yeah, i'll be looking for dinner
yeah, i'll be looking for dinner
i'll be looking for dinner
always looking for dinner
always looking
i'll be looking
i'll be looking for dinner for me and my baby
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm so glad that's not what it was. Thank you, oh great Glasser, for
not doing *that*!
-- dr foo
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Gary L. Dryfoos | "He doesn't have to shoot
|ARPA/Internet: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu | you now."
| UUCP/Usenet: ...mit-eddie!athena.mit.edu!dryfoo|
| Phone: (617) 253-0184 / (617) 864-4248 | -- B. Bunny
| USPS: P.O. Box 505 Cambridge, MA 02142 |
+=============================================================================
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Date: Wed, 19 Sep 90 12:51:08 -0400 (EDT)
From: Albert Peter Michael <am3z+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: Bob is DEAD
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
BOB IS DEAD!!!
LONG LIVE THE ONE TRUE POWER -- JAMES PRICE SALSMAN!!!!
THE UNIX MASTER
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Date: Wed, 19 Sep 90 07:56 EDT
From: Vote Gantt <BARRSTEV%UNCG.BITNET@mitvma.mit.edu>
Subject: Oh Heavenly Dog
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
AP
"Pooch Preacher"
Police detective Bruce Walsted's dog, Fluffy, is an ordained minister of the
mail-order American Fellowship Church. He's got an ordination certificate to
prove it. Walsted, of Franklin Park, Ill., paid $3 to legally qualify his dog
to bless fire hydrants.
[Picture of Walsted, Fluffy, and the ordination certificate (showing a picture
of Fluffy)]
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Date: Wed, 19 Sep 90 00:45:13 EDT
From: Michael Turyn <mturyn@psyche.mit.edu>
Subject: SubGenius Digest #1
To: subgenius-request@mc.lcs.mit.edu
[other person, other subject:]
>I bet you 'd boast about the tan you got from Chernobyl.
That 's right, I 'd boast about the tan I got from Chernobyl; I 'd boast
about the spinal readjustment the Most Holy Inquisition gave me when I said
that the Fire of Tarim would start in the faithless' armpits, and not their
nose--hairs....
I 'd brag about the amazing sweetness of the Flavor--Aid that Rev. Jones
served me one day, and how well the Jimi Hendrix Diet took off those troublesome
pounds and years. I 'd hazard a swagger at the lager I wagered against that
young punk Schickelgruber ever making anything of himself, and buy drinks round
the house while I regaled the assembled on how I stacked the deck against him
for the art--school entrance exams [knew he 'd never get that question about
the swallows and the porridge bird].
I 'd boast about my beach--front property killing at Bikini, and my
heavy investment in sulfa drugs and mercury in 1950. I 'd boast about hearing
about ``that new F.D.A. thing'' made me put all my available gold into slunks
and legal opium futures; I 'd chortle at the ambassadorships I expect to get
once Stassen wins (Carter sent me to Minerva, but I got there at high tide....).
I should be ready to make a killing in illegal pornography in Denmark by 1969,
and my hemp robo--mules should reach the U.S. by, oh, say, '97.
I 've gotten in touch with the Space Brothers, and I 'll be advsising
the President herself when I convince her to say (as I convinced Moctezuma to
say)
``Welcome!''
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End of Subgenius Digest
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