Today's Topics:
Another proto-brag
Hold the Presses
Subgenius Digest V2 #20 (2 msgs)
Yoni 'n' Lingam cat chow
Yoni 'n' Lingam cat chow!
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Date: Tue, 23 Oct 90 10:56:03 -0500
From: Robert Goldman <rpg@rex.cs.tulane.edu>
Subject: Another proto-brag
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
This one copied (without permission) from the jacket copy of one of
S.J. Perelman's books:
Button-cure, rapier-keen, wafer-thin and pauper-poor is S.J. Perelman,
whose tall, stooping figure is better known to the twilit half-world
of five continents than to Publishers' Row. That he possesses the
power to become invisible to finance companies, and that he owns one
of the rare mouths in which butter has never melted are legends
treasured by every schoolboy.
Perelman's life reads like a picaresque novel. It began on a bleak
shelf of rock in mid-Atlantic near Tristan da Cunha. Transplanted to
Rhode Island by a passing Portuguese, he became a man of proverbial
strength around the Providence wharves; he could drive a spike through
an oak plank with his fist. As there was constant need for this type
of skilled labor, he soon acquired enough tuition to enter Brown
University. He is chiefly remembered there for translating the
epigrams of Martial into colloquial Amharic and designing Brooks
Bros.' present trademark a sheep suspended in a diaper....
Retired today to peaceful Erwinna, Pa., Perelman raises turkeys which
he occasionally displays on Broadway. Those who know hint that the
light burning late in his laboratory may result in a breathtaking
electric bill.
from the jacket copy of "The Dream Department"
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Date: Mon, 22 Oct 90 14:10:55 edt
From: Eric Haines <eye!erich@wrath.cs.cornell.edu>
Subject: Hold the Presses
To: cornell!subgenius%media-lab.media.mit.edu@wrath.cs.cornell.edu,
Late breaking news from the Ithaca Journal:
Bird flies ocean, crashes, dies
SLIMBRIDGE, England (AP) - A rare bird that apparently flew 3,000 miles across
the Atlantic was killed when it crashed into a plate-glass door at one of
Britain's leading bird sanctuaries.
The gray-cheeked thrush is thought to have been blown off course while
migrating from its summer home in Canada to South America, ornithologist Basil
Hughes said Wednesday.
It died Sunday when it flew into the door of the visitors' center at the
headquarters of the Wildfowl and Wetland Trust at Slimbridge in the county of
Gloucestershire in western England, Hughes said.
Hughes, a researcher with the trust at Slimbridge, said a man selling nesting
boxes heard a loud thud and then watched the six-inch-long bird fall to the
ground.
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Date: Tue, 23 Oct 90 11:30:29 EDT
From: Michael Turyn <mturyn@psyche.mit.edu>
Subject: Subgenius Digest V2 #20
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Q: Why do Trekkies admire Mr Spock so much?
A: They think it would be nice to be at least _half_ human.
Q: Why are Trekkies condemned by the Church?
A: They think it would be nice to be at least _half_ human.
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Date: Tue, 23 Oct 90 16:31:27 EDT
From: "joel s. kollin" <joel@media-lab.media.mit.edu>
Subject: Subgenius Digest V2 #20
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Kinda of funny the way Jesse Helms doesn't seem to notice how pornographic
the camel dude's 'face' in the Camel ads is. Not to mention the obvious
overtones of bestiality...
Maybe since recent attempts to censor Mapplethorp and Too Live Crude have
been unsuccessful we can start a stampede to End The Hermaphroditic Camel
Menace.
Rev. Kolonic
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Date: Tue, 23 Oct 90 18:28:50 EDT
From: Todd.Kaufmann@nl.cs.cmu.edu
Subject: Yoni 'n' Lingam cat chow
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu, "Niels P." <mayer@hplnpm.hpl.hp.com>,
__ __
| \ / |
\ \ / / These three pointed stars
\ \ / / contain high levels of
\ \ / / poultry PROTEIN which
\ \/ / produce an UNMISTAKABLE
\ / chicken FLAVOR your cat
| | will love. The star
| | shape was chosen because
| | it's easy to chew and
| | absorbs liquid quickly.
`\/'
____ The little "o's" contain
/ \ whole TUNA concentrate
/ __ \ which gives them the
/ / \ \ DISTINCTIVE AROMA and
| | | | FLAVOR of tuna. They,
| | | | too, are easy for cats
\ \__/ / and kittens to chew and
\ / absorb water, milk, or
\____/ broth quickly.
You be the judge.
You can find it in the supermarket pet food section.
Look on the back of DAD'S bag.
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Date: Tue, 23 Oct 90 18:03:33 EDT
From: Todd.Kaufmann@nl.cs.cmu.edu
Subject: Yoni 'n' Lingam cat chow!
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu, "Niels P." <mayer@hplnpm.hpl.hp.com>
\ /
\ \ / / These three pointed start
\ \ / / contain high levels of
\ \ / / poultry PROTEIN which
\ \ / / produce an unmistakable
\ V / chicken flavor your cat
\ / will love. The star
| | shape was chosen because
| | it's easy to chew and
| | absorbs liquid quickly.
| |
| |
| |
The little "o's" contain
whole TUNA concentrate
which gives them the
distinctive aroma and
flavor of tuna. They,
too, are easy for cats
and kittens to chew and
absorb water, milk, or
broth quickly.
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End of Subgenius Digest
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