Today's Topics:
oh, you make me sick!
Send NO Money!
The Excremeditorium
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Date: Mon, 7 Jan 91 11:28:56 EST
From: Joshua Glasser <shadow!joshua@uu.psi.com>
Subject: oh, you make me sick!
To: mc.lcs.mit.edu!Subgenius@uu.psi.com
how pathetic!
PRAISE CHILKAT!
a poem:
and in that hour darkest
the BEAN called pray harkest
unto mine love thy own self consign
and dwell in scarlet bathe in rime
lest thou be thicker than my girth
apply a scraper fastooned with earth
make sure its softer than thy viens
and pans of hot water may ease thy strain
discard all that hast thou hast scraped
then linen or by capillary cellurlar action pampas
or dragons breath desicate mine thou chamber
and ere you reaquire that vacated you thus
wait thou till by such measure transit the sky the sun
a full beans measure one part of a half part of a half part
of a half part the measure of the said days hours
heed those words in love i spake
lightly jested
the bean once et is thus ingested
and do they fear is addled pate
nay but whence the egesta comes they quail
pitious
pink
and thus i show
how once they bid us go we dare nor twice say know
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) (
/(_ _)\ Joshua Glasser
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/o (@)/.\(@) o\ 40 Saw Mill River Road
\/ ^__ ^ __^ \/ Hawthorne, New York 10532
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))|(( ARPA: JOSHUA%AIT.COM@UU.PSI.COM
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Date: 07 Jan 91 12:53:39 EST
From: MTG@csi.compuserve.com
Subject: Send NO Money!
To: SUBGENIUS@mc.lcs.mit.edu
>... So if you -really- wanted to bug Procter & Gamble
>you could easily have done it without wanting for it to show up in
>propaganda from the fuzzy animal liberation front -- although personally I
>hope you have something better to do with your time. ("pets"?)
The American Family Association Journal is "propaganda from the fuzzy
animal liberation front"? I'm sure that Editor Reverend "Dr." Don Wildmon
would be incensed! Has he worked so hard and so fervently to be named
"Number One Censor" by Penthouse Magazine all for nought? If only I had
my Journal handy so that I may clear its name once and for all! I would
hold it up to the passing masses, shouting in a clear and well-annunciated
voice:
"BEHOLD! Look what I bear for you, who is not very well-read on
current events and boycotts, that spawn of our popular
media-nurtured religious zealot! Behold, here I
have the written word of our most right-
eous "Payable To..." recipient!
Read of the companies
who sponsor TV
programs
with
A P
T R
T O
I B
T L
U E
D M
E S
!!!
Sometimes, it just makes me wanna POUT.
- Mark G.
"The difficult thing about leading a secret double life is leaving your
wallet in your other life."
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Date: Mon, 07 Jan 91 11:20:44 EST
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
Subject: The Excremeditorium
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Dear Fellow Slackers, Slackees, Slacksters, and Slax,
This is probably the first message worthy of cross-posting here from the
SCA Digest (the newsgroup of cultists who prefer an older style of Con
Tyranny to the current one). The topic seemed interesting, and the
sheer volume of useful information is unneglectable.
-- dr foo
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Date: 6 Jan 91 23:11:38 GMT
From: Kevin Karplus <agate!darkstar!ce.ucsc.edu@ucbvax.berkeley.edu>
Subject: JAKES---more period synonyms and euphemisms
To: sca@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Since the discussion on the Rialto of the correct euphemisms to use for
privies in the SCA, I spent a few hours in the library with the CD-ROM
edition of the Oxford English Dictionary. It seems that there were many
names and euphemisms for privies, so it is appropriate for us in the SCA
to have several. This message ends with the words I found from this
very cursory search. If anyone with more patience wishes to continue
the search, I'd appreciate a brief acknowledgement when you publish.
I agree with others in the discussion that "portacastle" is too
20th-century a construction, and suggest "house of ease" or "house of
office" instead. Of course, "jakes" is an excellent word (even if it
may have orignally been an insult to the French), and gives us some
useful compounds: "jakesman" and "jakesbarrel" (to replace the terrible
misnomer "honeywagon").
The most surprising discovery was a word that was in use throughout our
period (well 1000--1576 anyway)---"gong". Unfortunately, this word is
not likely to be revived, as the homophonous musical instrument has
replaced it in modern English.
Before using any of the words on this list, please look them up again
and confirm their meanings---I may have made some mistakes in my rough
classification below.
Knud Kaukinen Kevin Karplus
inactive in the West teaching at UCSC
THE BUILDING:
backside 1542, 1630, 1704
boggard 1552 bogard
boghouse 1705 bog-house
chapel ?
common house 1596
commons 1624
draught 1500 draughte; 1513,1530,1607,1617,1652 draught; 1537 drawft; 1552 draft
draught-house 1639
foreign chamber 1297 chambre forene
forica 1570
garden house 1886
garderobe 1867 (early uses all seem to be for "wardrobe")
gingerbread office ?
gong 1000,1050,1375,1400,1401,1494,1515,1541,1570,1576
house of ease 1662
house of easement 1500 house of esemente; 1513 hous of hesement; 1712 House of Easement
house of office 1460, 1568, 1613, 1652, 1700, 1705, 1823
jakes 153? Iaques; 1538,1596,1620,...1855 jakes; 1544 iakes; 1570 iake
jakes house 1577
latrine 1050,1552 latrina; 1440 latrinarius; 1642 laterans; 1673-88 latrons
little house ?
long house ?
necessary house 1611, 1667, 1789, 1828
necessary place 1697
necessary vault 1609
office of ease 1727
office 1871
passage-house ?
petty ?
private 1600 priuets
privy house 1460 privehouse; 1660 privyhouse
purging place 1577
reredorter 1500,1891,1900 (in convent or monastery)
retreat 1653
shield 1535,1552,1566,1582 schield
shithouse 1765 shite-house
siege 1400,1440 sege; 1544 siege; 1555 seage (used in "go to siege")
siegehouse 1440 sege house; 1519 segehouse; 1647 siege-house
sink 1662 (see also uses equivalent to cesspit and sewer)
sinkhouse 1614 sinkehouse
vault 1617, 1665, 1700
wardrobe 1382 wardropis; 1386 wardrobe; 1450,1847 wardrope
THE TOILET ITSELF:
bench hole ?
close stool 1420,1558 close stole; 1605 close-stoole; 1660 close-stool
gong thurl privy hole
necessary stool 1761
privy stool 1528 preveystole
siegehole 1477-9 sege holis
stool 1501 stule; 1516-17 stolys; 1542,1573,1705,1768-74 stole; 1642 stoole; 1645,1676,1726 stool
stool of easement 1580 stoole of easement
water closet 1755,1760,1819,1823,...
THE SEWER AND RELATED PLUMBING:
cesspit 1864, 1884, 1887
cesspool 1583 cesperalle; 1671 cestpool, 1782,1850,1860 cesspool; 1815 suspoole
cloaca 1440 cloacarius; 1840 cloaca
funnel 1555, 1612 (used of the soil pipe of a privy)
gutter 1440 gotere; 1553,1601,1718,1825 gutter
issue 1588 essewe; 1616 issue
sewer 1606 sure; 1610,1611,1619 sewer; 1628 sewre
sink (for cesspit) 1440 synke; 1463 sink; 1515 sinke; 1589,1603 sincke
sink (for sewer) 1449 cynke; 1509-10 synke; 1564 sinkes; 1601...1847 sinks
withdraught 1493-4 wedraught; 1513 withdraught; 1516 wyddrought; 1559,1896 wydraught; 1671 widraught; 1701 wydarught
ONE WHO EMPTIES OR CLEANS THE JAKES:
jakes barreller 1596
jakes farmer, jakes farming 1591, 1618
jakesman
nightman 1606,1665,1700,...,1869
DANGLING REFERENCE (COULDN'T FIND IT AGAIN):
colpot
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End of Subgenius Digest
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