Today's Topics:
3 words
``Bob'' in Berkeley
there is me, there are a few others, and there are the rest of you!
"You."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 09 Jan 91 12:56:24 EST
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
Subject: 3 words
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
} Subgenius Digest Wed, 9 Jan 91 Volume 2 : Issue 67
}
} Date: Tue, 8 Jan 91 06:21:43 EST
} From: Alan Bawden <alan@ai.mit.edu>
}
} But my bogon detector goes off when I see the word "pet" used to
} describe these animals. I have similar feelings about the words
} "murder" and "choice" in another context.
Hmmm... let's see...
choice murder pet -- "Yes, sir. I think you'll find that Raymundo here
is everything you're looking for in a schizophrenic pit-bull. A
bit pricey? Yes, sir, but he's really the sort of Grade A bloody
beast that only comes along once every few years. Look at those
shoulders, sir, those jaws muscles. Just the thing for old
women or small children, sir."
choice pet murder -- "I say, old man. That was a beautiful job you did
on old Rex there. How did you get both paws into two Cuisinarts
simultaneously and still hook up the electrodes? The
convulsions broke his back before he was exsanguinated.
Artistry, old boy! Sheer artistry!"
murder pet choice -- "No, Sweetie, not both. We can get either Raymundo
here, or that nice german shepard Starkweather that the Army man
showed us earlier."
murder choice pet -- "Sarah, I'm afraid I've got some bad news
concerning your prize-winning little Asian Frouchouti dog. You
know that nice Mr. Bates next door at the motel...?"
pet choice murder -- "Good doggie, Raymundo! You get to choose:
which one of these tied-up naked hostages should I kill first?"
pet murder choice -- "Hmmm, should I strangle Fluffie?, or give her a
10-minute swirlie?, or pop her in a big mason jar full of
vinegar and pepper sauce? or maybe just a fast toss out a
20-story window?
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Gary L. Dryfoos | "He doesn't have to shoot
|ARPA/Internet: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu | you now."
| UUCP/Usenet: ...mit-eddie!athena.mit.edu!dryfoo|
| Phone: (617) 253-0184 / (617) 864-4248 | -- B. Bunny
| USPS: P.O. Box 505 Cambridge, MA 02142 |
+=============================================================================
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 9 Jan 91 20:41:01 PST
From: STUFFED LAURA PALMER BODY IN A BAG FRENCH TOAST <gumbo!david@eng.sun.com>
Subject: ``Bob'' in Berkeley
To: gumbo!subgenius@eng.sun.com
Hi,
In Meditation class Rev. Hanna Jane was teaching about spirit
guides two days before New Year's Eve. She told us to invite a guide into
our personal room and conduct an interview for the job of spirit guide.
The first spirit tried to scare me out of my room and out of BPI too. He
looked like the devil himself. So I rushed through another interview with
a new guide, ``Bob.'' All I could think of was "Get me a date for New
Year's Eve!" Bob said, "Thanks for the short notice -- that's only two
days." I replied, "That's the job -- you want it or not?"" When I got
home that night my phone machine was blinking. It was a date for New
Year's Eve with a man. But not the right man, not even close, so I called
Bob back. "I'm changing my order. I want to got dancing and have fun on
New Year's Eve." Bob said, "Only one day left, come on now!" I repeated
"You want the job or not?"
Nothing happened until 4:00 p.m. on New Year's Eve, when the phone
rang. A good friend called to say his ski trip was off and how would I
like to go dancing? I did and it was fun; just the first of many miracles.
M.P., Berkeley
Psychic Reader Newspaper
January '91
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 9 Jan 91 12:46:33 EST
From: Joshua Glasser <shadow!joshua@uu.psi.com>
Subject: there is me, there are a few others, and there are the rest of you!
To: mc.lcs.mit.edu!SUBGENIUS@uu.psi.com
and did you know that YOU, by which i definitely mean YOU,
not the LIST- the one true list, this list by whence through dark fortune
the tempest drivest us not away from the shelterless open spaces, but rather
by design imaculate as portended by the splattered drippings of the head
launched in march of 1987 when I became an elder deacon in the one true church
and as again reiterated nov 16, 8BX at the fete of CHILKAT, the blessed and
cursed, whereby I became tuplic bargainer and incandescent, a nobby splif,
REV catfishguts willie MacAdamia, and my clench of the NUT BROWN PERPETUAL
MYASIMA of THE ONE TRUE PIPE, the bean clench, she lifts it up and hushedly
beacons, indeed shreikingly demands, that we forsake all pretention of avoiding
the gail, but rather rejoyce in abadonment that we live in none but "Bob"'s
shadow- I mean YOU, yourself, the reader, should be more respectful of your
heritage! (i have a friend who came from a rich family. his mother paid him
to stay away from home. he did what he pleased. he was the oldest son of an
italian family. when he was about thirty, he moved to hawaii, where he hangs
out selling fruit on the beach. upon hearing of this, his grandfather, who had
come to this country as a fruit peddeler and had worked his whole life to make
a better tomorrow for his children and his children's children, who had by his
industry made his family very rich, disowned my friend entirely)
to YOU, i dedicate my poem "many young black college girls voted for reagan and
for bush"
their values and motivation were adopted
when in an earlier hour
when they came together
they in their turn had come together and
they exchanged their true slack for the satisfaction that they did good
that they had been clever
that they had owned nothing wrong
that they had been profound
in the sight of another
(married with children, alf, caddyshack, all my children, i`d rather be diving)
their values and motivation were adopted
when in an earlier hour
when they came together
they in their turn had come together and
they exchanged their true slack for the satisfaction that they did good
that they had been clever
that they had owned nothing wrong
that they had been profound
in the sight of another
(marjoong, tetris, i'd rather be golfing, i`d rather be diving)
their values and motivation were adopted
when in an earlier hour
when they came together
they in their turn had come together and
they exchanged their true slack for the satisfaction that they did good
that they had been clever
that they had owned nothing wrong
that they had been profound
in the sight of another
(living color, playing bridge, clubmed, ems, llbean, comic strip)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
) (
/(_ _)\ Joshua Glasser
)^\\_\-=-/_//^( Artificial Intelligence Technologies, Incorporated
/o (@)/.\(@) o\ 40 Saw Mill River Road
\/ ^__ ^ __^ \/ Hawthorne, New York 10532
\|\VVV/|/ (914) 347 - 6860 Fax: (914) 347 - 3182
\\AAA//
\~~~/ UUCP: uupsi!shadow!joshua or uupsi!ait.com!joshua
))|(( ARPA: JOSHUA%AIT.COM@UU.PSI.COM
------------------------------
Date: 09 Jan 91 11:00:55 EST
From: MTG@csi.compuserve.com
Subject: "You."
To: SUBGENIUS@mc.lcs.mit.edu
>When I used the word "you" in the text quoted above I was addressing the...
you ye ar you bathroom you b ird yo u boy
you br ain yo u catalog you c hicken you c
hild y ou chu rch yo u cloc k you compet
itor y ou con test y ou cra ne you dialo
gue yo u dinn er you forei gner y ou fri
end you gal you gi rl you guy y ou hic
cup you inte rview you lu nch yo u mont
h you mornin g you nut yo u obst etrici
an you paren t you peacoc k you
pen yo u peni s you person you r
eport you re strict ion yo u shir
t you slime- ball y ou str ucture
you s ymbol you te lephon e you
compet ition you tr inket you vo
ice yo u walnut you we ekend you fly y
ou eve ning you page y ou cassette tap
As one can see from the above illustration, the English word can be
a very complex thing at times.
------------------------------
End of Subgenius Digest
******************************
