Today's Topics:
arf arf
CNN Uncovers Satanist Plot!
War Prediction #3
(plus 2 messages with no subject line)
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Date: Tue, 22 Jan 91 13:31:09 EST
From: Joshua Glasser <shadow!joshua@uu.psi.com>
Subject: arf arf
To: mc.lcs.mit.edu!Subgenius@uu.psi.com
i am reminded of a poem, which i wrote a
few short moments ago:
arf arf
the lawyers say
but
so does sandy
arf arf
the deeper allogorical implications aside,
i think this is an important poem because
it directly address several issues of far
reaching importance to this list's readership!
if we examine each line in detail, we see that
each can be rearranged, in a connical way:
arf arf ===> dont be stupid
the lawyers say ===> read
but ===> take direct action
so does sandy ===> perspective
arf arf ===> procreate
applying the obvious weight to each step of
this transformaion, combining the result, and
reducing the resultant matrix, we can understand:
[...] ===> "Bob" eats.
since 1954, this has been an subject of prolonged debate.
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Date: Tue, 22 Jan 91 09:59:30 -0500 (EST)
From: "Douglas F. DeJulio" <dd26+@andrew.cmu.edu>
Subject: CNN Uncovers Satanist Plot!
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Thant Tessman <thant%horus.esd.sgi.com@sgi.com> writes:
> This has always puzzled me. In elementary school (where such experts
> abound), I was told that the Lord's Prayer said backwards was a Satanic
> prayer. If this is true, then why isn't a Satanic Prayer said backwards a
> Prayer to the Lord?
Actually, a Satanic Prayer said backwards is a Mel Tourme (sp?) song.
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Date: Tue, 22 Jan 91 14:54:31 EST
From: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu
Subject: War Prediction #3
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
} Subgenius Digest Tue, 22 Jan 91 Volume 2 : Issue 77
} From: blount@media-lab.media.mit.edu
} Subject: fast money
}
} Wanna make a quick 15x on your investment? Take a time machine back
} to Friday and buy Raytheon (Patriot missile contractor) stock. Then
} sell Tuesday. Monday the stock reportedly rose from $4 to $74.
Here's an even easier way to make $$ (and no big time machine electric
bill or nosy questions from the Temporal boys at the SEC):
Sell Raytheon short while it's still at its current patriotic war-fever
highest. The Mass economy is still on the rocks, the company is in
hard times overall, and $74/share is way over what a sober,
post-scud-coital market will support.
-- Adam Smith'n'Wesson
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Date: Tue, 22 Jan 91 14:31:05 EST
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
} Subgenius Digest Sun, 20 Jan 91 Volume 2 : Issue 76
}
} From: Steven Mesnick <pro-angmar!steffan@alfalfa.com>
} Subject: CNN Uncovers Satanist Plot!
}
} The other day I think I saw a very serious report on CNN in which a
} Madonna record was played backward and Satanic lyrics were supposedly
} heard...
}
} The real question, of course, is why they're always spinning Madonna
} backwards....
I once spun Madonna herself backwards. Turns out that the Material Girl
is left-hand threaded, so she's actually more fun that way.
Among other things, as her spin rate increases past 20-22rpm, She Who
Must Be Photographed is prone to chanting ancient Greek pagan "love"
poetry.
This chanting could easily be mis-interpreted as Satanic (by the kind of
people who think everything that they didn't know about by the time they
where eight years old is Satanic).
(If you must know, I was sore for a week, and she's _still_ filling my
PO Box with "tickets" for "private perv-formances" -- but sometimes a
Mutant's gotta not do what a Mutant's gotta not do.)
Anyway, occult brainwave rumours of her reverse threading occasionally
leak, and I guess the CNN/PTL/400-Club types must have cloudy mediums
who aren't the message -- thereby confusing the (vinyl) map with the
(semi-final polyvinal) territory.
-- Artie Choke
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Gary L. Dryfoos | "Mr. Dryfoos may
|ARPA/Internet: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu | be joking, but
| UUCP/Usenet: ...mit-eddie!athena.mit.edu!dryfoo| I'll assume not."
| Phone: (617) 253-0184 / (617) 864-4248 |
| USPS: P.O. Box 505 Cambridge, MA 02142 | -- Hal Render
+=============================================================================
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Date: Tue, 22 Jan 91 23:25:07 EST
From: Michael Turyn <mturyn@psyche.mit.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
I 've often thought that a good thing for a Christian intellectual to spout
would be:
``There must be more to Christianity than saying the Black Mass
backwards.''
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End of Subgenius Digest
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