Today's Topics:
It's Hip! It's Now! It's...
Mexican vampire threat
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Date: Fri, 25 Jan 91 14:44:08 EST
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
Subject: It's Hip! It's Now! It's...
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
...The Persian Gulf Party Game!
From: berryh@udel.edu (John Berryhill)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Date: 20 Jan 91 07:18:40 GMT
Organization: University of Delaware
The order of channel-hopping is NBC, ABC, CBS, and CNN, at each
commercial, unless otherwise indicated by further rules, the channel is
changed. If you hear someone on TV say "scud," take a swig of beer and
change the channel except during scud attacks (see below). If someone
says "Patriot," everyone in the room must salute. The last person to
salute takes a shot.
If a scud attack is reported, everyone must hold their breath. The
first person to breathe must go to a sealed room while everyone else
takes a shot. That player remains in the room until the "all clear" is
sounded.
If someone says "somewhere in eastern Saudi Arabia" everyone must shout
"Dhahran." The last person takes a shot and must forego the next "scud."
The same applies for shouting "Riyadh" upon hearing the phrase "a large
airbase in central Saudi Arabia." Anyone naming the wrong city must
also take a shot unless they shout "Taif" before they are called on the
error.
Whenever Wolf Blitzer appears on the screen, everyone must shout "woof
woof" and drink a wine spritzer.
A shot of Kahlua and coffee is kept on the table. Whenever the phrase
"ground war," "ground assault," or "ground attack" are used, the first
person to grab the shot gets it.
Every time Dan Rather says something stupid, all shout "change the
channel." The last person to do so takes a shot and is forced to watch
CBS on another TV until the next "scud." I realize that this one is a
judgement call, but the odds are that it won't be long before he says
something stupid anyway. Of course, if Sam Donaldson is on ABC change
the channel immediately but I probably don't have to tell you that.
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Gary L. Dryfoos | "Cigarettes! Cigarettes!
|ARPA/Internet: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu | American thru and thru!
| UUCP/Usenet: ...mit-eddie!athena.mit.edu!dryfoo| The Truest Taste of Freedom
| Phone: (617) 253-0184 / (617) 864-4248 | Is Cigarettes and You!"
| USPS: P.O. Box 505 Cambridge, MA 02142 |
+=============================================================================
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Date: Fri, 25 Jan 91 09:34:35 PST
From: This message sent with 100% recycled bits 25-Jan-1991 1215 <callas@lilith.enet.dec.com>
Subject: Mexican vampire threat
To: eristocracy@lilith.enet.dec.com
From: DECWRL::"0003678587@mcimail.com" "Patty A. Hardy" 25 January '91 0:23 am
To: Jon Callas <eris::callas>
CC:
Subj: Mexican Vampire Plague
While on the West Coast earlier this month I came across this curious
article in the Science/Heath section of the Marin Independent Journal.
Garlic, anyone?
Pat
----
VAMPIRE BATS: FEAR ON THE WING
By David Schrieberg
McClatchy News Service
Sunday, January 6, 1991
Tomatlan, Mexico -- The young woman's face tensed as Dr. Gabriel Becerra
pressed a magnifying glass to her skin, studying the small, red marks behind
her ear.
In the past few months, thousands of her anxious fellow villagers have begged
for Becerra's glass. Many heard the worst: They had been bitten by terrifying
assailants that came in the night, almost invisibly, leaving their tell-tale
fang-marks behind.
Vampire bats, it appears, are terrorizing the people of Tomatlan.
In a phenomena that has Mexican doctors and biologists stumped, at least 200
residents of this rural county south of Puerto Vallarta have been bitten by
animals they firmly believe to be blood-loving bats. If they are right, it
would be unprecedented in Mexico and among the largest known waves of vampire
bat attacks on people in Latin American history.
"It's nothing," Becerra told the young woman as several people stood by
watching quietly. "A mosquito bite."
The woman relaxed. She was the third frightened patient to seek Becerra's
reassurance that morning. And it was only 10 am.
A RISK OF RABIES
The danger of a bat bite is not loss of blood, but rather the risk of rabies.
Vampires are carriers of the disease, which is fatal once the symptoms begin to
show.
It is a disease with no cure, fatal in every case unless a painful, 14-day
series of injections is given the victim before the symptoms start.
"There is no data that there was ever a situation like this here before," said
Evelio Alcantar, a town official.
"I've talked to old-timers here," said Becerra, the director of the county
health clinic. "In 50 years, nobody remembers anything like this."
Neither do Mexican bat experts, or medical researchers. While vampire bat
attacks on humans are not unheard of, they are rare. When the bats do seek
human prey, they descend sporadically, usually only on one victim at a time,
and almost always far from cities and towns.
In almost all known cases, the attack can be explained by an interruption in
the bats' normal food supply. It means that there are not enough farm animals
-- usually cattle -- for them to feed on.
In fact, according to the Mexican Health Ministry, humans are seventh on the
vampire's list of favorite foods -- after cows, horses, goats, pigs, chickens
and dogs.
SEARCHING FOR CLUES
But for some reason, since June it looks like the vampires of Tomatlan have
added the people of Tomatlan to their menu. And nobody can explain it. There
are plenty of cows and other farm animals for them here.
A team of biologists from the university plans to canvas the region searching
for evidence. Their trip follows an earlier one taken last month by more than
50 doctors and technicians from the health ministry who studied victims in the
three towns and villages with the most reported cases.
The medical team concluded that something, probably vampire bats, was indeed
biting people. But some officials still have doubts.
"These bats would not be convicted in a court of law," said one health ministry
doctor. "The only evidence is circumstantial."
The vampire bat senses its prey by heat. It lands on the victim and licks the
area it intends to bite, soaking it with saliva that contains both an anti-
coagulant and an anesthetic.
Then it bits. As the blood flows, it licks up as much as it can and then
flies--or walks--away.
LOCALS HAVE THEORIES
There are plenty of local theories -- all of them far-out -- to explain the
phenomena.
Theories like the bats are eating wild poppies -- which can be used to make
opium and heroin -- and are getting bat-stoned and going crazy for human blood.
Theories like killer African bees are disturbing them in their caves and making
them go batty.
Theories that the bats are furious because the government destroyed locally
grown marijuana plants that kept them happy.
Theories like the whole thing is a plot by the U.S. Drug Enforcement
Administration.
Mexico is rich in bats -- 154 species of them, of which only three survive on
blood. The others live on plants, fruit or insects.
LONGTIME NEIGHBORS
People in Tomatlan are well accustomed to bats, even in their homes. There
are thousands here. They can be heard fluttering around town each night,
emitting their distinctive cry. Some houses have been known to be home to
hundreds at a time.
Not until June did anyone notice that there seemed to be a lot more flapping
around town than normal. First, an 18-year-old contracted rabies and died a
month after a vampire bit him.
He was the third bat-induced rabies victim in Tomatlan in a decade.
People started showing up at Becerra's clinic.
It began with several patients. It rose to ten a day. They had bites on their
hands, feet, arms, legs, fingers, toes, necks, noses, cheeks. The bats went
especially for children.
"WE'VE GOTTEN FIVE SO FAR"
Dulce Maria Cardena lives in a brick house with open holes for doors and
windows in La Cumbre, a small village where nearly 10 percent of the
people have been bitten. She and her husband have bite marks. Their 9-
month-old daughter has been bitten four times; their 3-year-old son three
times.
Each night the family performs its ritual.
"We turn out the lights, then use a flashlight to hunt for the bats," she said.
"Then we kill them with a broom. We've gotten five so far."
Things have calmed down since the agricultural teams took up their arms.
And residents are being careful.
But there are still signs that the vampires of Tomatlan are still around. One
recent afternoon, a young boy walked through the village of La Cumbre. He
was wearing a Batman T-shirt.
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Date: Fri, 25 Jan 91 05:10 GMT
From: "Patty A. Hardy" <0003678587@mcimail.com>
To: "Steve Kallis Jr." <lescom::kallis>
To: Jeff Diewald <tle::diewald>
To: Rita Tillson-Vasak <meis::tillson>
To: Dawn Banks <star::banks>
To: Jon Callas <eris::callas>
Subject: Mexican Vampire Plague
Message-Id: <83910125051038/0003678587NB1EM@mcimail.com>
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End of Subgenius Digest
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