Today's Topics:
Evangelical Car Care
Karma Mechanics
(plus 2 messages with no subject line)
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Date: Fri, 1 Feb 91 11:29:28 est
From: Eric Haines <eye!erich@uu.psi.com>
Subject: Evangelical Car Care
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
On the subject of divinely inspired car care, here's important news.
Quoted from Martin Gardner's article "Giving God A Hand" from the New
York Review, August 13, 1987. About Jimmy Swaggart, fundamentalist preacher
on TV (the article's reprinted in Gardner's book on New Age and other stuff,
"Notes of a Fringe Watcher," I think [it's hard to remember - the CIA mindwipe
lasers are playing Madonna in my right frontal lobe right now]):
Jimmy's autobiography, like those of Roberts, Bakker, and Robertson,
is filled with miraculous healings, bouts with Satan, Bible consulting,
weeping, glossolalia [speaking in tongues], and the power of the Blood. On
one occasion, Jesus healed Jimmy's "battered, blue Plymouth...held together
with bailing wire," and about to expire from sticky valves. "Prayer was my
only weapon," Jimmy writes. "If God could heal my sick body, surely He could
repair my sick car." Jimmy took some anointing oil from his pocket and poured
it over the car's silver ornament. When he started the car, it ran "like a
new Singer sewing machine." Jimmy shouted, "Thank you, Jesus!" The valves
were perfect when he sold the car a few months later.
While we're here, I might as well post these golden oldies. Enjoy.
About Pat Robertson, televangelist running for President:
Some things Pat doesn't write about are in Gerard Straub's eye-opening
book "Salvation for Sale". Straub was producer of the 700 Club until he became
disenchanted and was fired over his affair with an employee. His wildest
revelation concerns a 1979 CBN plan known as GSP (God's Secret Project). It
was nothing less than to televise the Second Coming. Pat is convinced that
recent events involving Israel prove that Jesus is about to return. [later in
the article, quoting Straub]:
The greatest show on earth was in our hands. I wondered where we would
put the cameras. Jerusalem was the obvious place. We even discussed
how Jesus' radiance might be too bright for the cameras and how we
would have to make adjustments for that problem. Can you imagine
telling Jesus, "Hey, Lord, please tone down your luminosity; we having
a problem with contrast. You're causing the picture to flare".
>From "In These Times," Feb 25-March 10, 1987:
According to the Washington Post, last week Mikhail S. Gorbachov told
an audience of 850 visiting Americans, other foreigners and Soviets that
President Reagan, at their 1985 meeting in Geneva, promised to join forces
with the Soviet Union in case the world was invaded by aliens from outer space.
"At our meeting in Geneva," Gorbachov said, "the U.S. president said that if
the earth faced an invasion by extraterrestrials the United States and the
Soviet Union should join forces to repel such an invasion. I shall not dispute
the hypothesis, although I think it is too early to worry about such an
intrusion."
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Date: Fri, 1 Feb 1991 14:02:03 PST
From: PeterZ@hypermail.apple.com
Subject: Karma Mechanics
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
This takes the concept I've been considering of "prayer tires" (Tibetan
Buddhist prayer wheels updated/transmuted to fit into America's
auto-mobile culture becomes "Prayer Tires" - each revolution is another
instance of the chosen prayer) one giant logical step farther. Maybe I
really COULD sell them to the masses.
Pope Ridiculous the Sublime, First Karma Mechanic of our own local dharma
wheel of the rolling chapter of the transmission of the teachings of
daily driving and auto-motive [one's own motive] maintenance
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Date: Fri, 1 Feb 91 04:32:13 EST
From: joshua@ai.mit.edu
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
SLACK!!!!!!
j
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Date: Fri, 1 Feb 91 18:26:03 EST
From: Michael Turyn <mturyn@psyche.mit.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
The Zen aspect of the martial arts is basically this:
If you _do_ meet the Buddha on the road,
your chances of really killing him are
somewhat improved.
Good luck, and good hunting.
``Buddha bless you.''
---``Bruce Lee Fights Back form the Grave''
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End of Subgenius Digest
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